A horror joke

1, I wanted to take a taxi alone, and the driver asked me:

Where are you two going?

2. A man walked away from the scene of a car accident and someone stopped him:

Hey! Your hand is still in the car!

The car was driving very fast, and an old woman looked at me from the window.

4, driving a motorcycle to pick up my girlfriend from work, it was a little cold in the middle of the night, and my girlfriend gently opened her arms and hugged me.

Suddenly she touched my face: Is it cold? Just think about the interface

Suddenly found that my girlfriend's hand has never left her waist, ah!

5, surfing the Internet last night, my friend suddenly knocked on my window and asked me out to play ~! Just about to open the window and say no,

It suddenly occurred to me that I moved from 1 building to 10 building ~ ~ Who is that?

6. In the middle of the night, I woke up from a nightmare and saw my brother sitting by the bed and asked me gently. What happened?

I said: I dreamed that a group of ghosts with heads were chasing me!

Is that so? After that, my brother cut off his head.

7. The high-rise elevator in the office only stops at the 30th floor of 15. Xiao F, who works on the 30th floor, works overtime until late at night and then goes downstairs by elevator alone.

The elevator stops and opens on every floor, and there is no one outside. Finally stop at 14 floor.

A woman in white outside the door said, it's so crowded. I want to come in, too ......

In a word, horror joke 2:

1, in the middle of the night, I woke up from a nightmare, saw my brother sitting by the bed and asked me gently: What happened?

I said: I dreamed that a group of ghosts with heads were chasing me!

Is that so? After that, my brother cut off his head.

2. Ghost Town Management

When a person burns paper, the fire is still good at first. Mars is like a golden rain, and it is like a group of ghosts who collect money in order. Before long, there was a whirlwind, a mess, and strange words, which surprised people. No, well, how can we catch it? Ghost answer:? The ghost city management is here! ?

3, one person burns paper, the fire is still good at first, Mars is like scattered gold and flying rain, like a group of ghosts to collect money in order. Before long, there was a whirlwind, a mess, and strange words, which surprised people. No, well, how can we catch it? Ghost answer:? The ghost city management is here! ?

Walking at night, I met two wild ghosts floating on the grave, yelling. The ghost said:? What are you yelling about? Just taking a walk after dinner. It's rare and strange! ?

A goat suddenly died in the village, and the grave collapsed after being buried for more than ten days. The villagers were deeply surprised. When they dug again, they found that the tomb was empty, and the body actually dug down the earth wall and climbed into the tomb of an adjacent young woman to hug each other.

A man died because he didn't want to forget his previous life. He didn't drink Meng Po Tang. When crossing the Naihe Bridge, he was sentenced to inspection. Q: Did you drink the soup? People lied:? Drink it! ? Ghost sentenced to sneer:? I remember this very clearly. Go back and drink! ?

4. A man saw a girl with ponytail squatting against the wall by the roadside and asked her why she was crying. Did someone bully you? She replied that there was a car accident at home, and then he told her not to be too sad and took her home. She said no, because you would be afraid to see me. He said it's okay. Get up, I'll take you home. Then she stood up and turned to face him. He only saw a ponytail. . .

5. Ghosts took their lives.

Once upon a time there was a man who had a girlfriend. He loves her more than anyone in the world.

But one day, his girlfriend left him mercilessly without even giving him a reason.

Watching his girlfriend go shopping arm in arm, he was in great pain and lost his mind. Finally one day he killed his girlfriend.

He was going to kill her and then kill himself. But when I was dying, I felt the value of life.

Since then, he has been haunted by nightmares every day. In the dream, his girlfriend was naked, with long hair fluttering, red tongue hanging down and fingers hooked to kill him.

Nightmares tormented him like needles, and one day he found a Taoist priest and begged to get rid of him.

The Taoist asked him to do three things.

First, give his girlfriend a good burial.

Second, burn the pajamas that his girlfriend wore before her death.

Third, wash away the hidden bloody clothes.

Everything must be finished before midnight, or you will be killed!

He did everything carefully according to the orders of the Taoist priest, but he couldn't find the bloody coat.

It's almost midnight. Beads of sweat dripped from his face and wet the carpet.

He found the bloody clothes in the middle of the night, but no matter how he wiped them, he couldn't wash them off.

At this time, there was a sudden strong wind, lightning and thunder. The window was shaken from side to side by the strong wind, and the sound of broken glass made people even more jumpy. Suddenly all the lights went out and the whole room was dark.

In the lightning, I saw his girlfriend wearing bloody pajamas, with blood dripping from her eyes, pointing at him with a ferocious face and a harsh voice.

Do you know why the blood won't wash away?

He was too scared to say a word.

Girlfriend continues: Because you are useless, Diao brand washing powder, you idiot. ?

6. Humorous information on tombstones

I am short of three and one here, just waiting for you.

Please don't disturb while sleeping!

, Wangpu transfer, the price is negotiable.

Please don't spit or poop here. If you are in a hurry, you can look at the graves posted nearby.

7.damn it!

After the Halloween masquerade, two men walked home ... when they passed a cemetery, they wanted to cross it on a whim. When they were halfway through, they were frightened by the sound of drumming. The sound came from a dark place, and they were all frightened. Then they found an old man digging a tombstone with a chisel.

One of them said, "My God, sir, we thought you were a ghost. What are you doing here so late? " The old man scolded: * * *, they spelled my name wrong. ! ! ! ! "

8. The woman was afraid and passed by the cemetery. She had a brainwave and said to the grave. Dad, I'm home. Open the door. ?

The man was frightened and ran away screaming.

The woman felt at ease and was about to leave when suddenly a deep voice came from the grave. Girl, you forgot your spoon again. ?

The woman was frightened and ran away.

At this moment, a grave robber emerged from the grave and said, Shit, did you scare me to death by delaying my work?

9. I was a punk before my death, but I didn't do anything bad! One day I went to a female friend's house to hang out! Just finished, her husband suddenly came back! I have to find a place to hide. So I searched the kitchen and toilet, and finally found that their refrigerator was quite big, so I hid in it! I don't understand how her husband knew I was in the refrigerator and threw it from the 13 floor!

I just fell to my death in my refrigerator!

10, if you die, what will the epitaph say? Here are some answers:

It used to be yellow and violent, but now it is dark and quiet

Thank you for your visit. I'll visit you another day.

Do it yourself, no one pours tea, and lie down and talk together when you are tired?

Finally solved the housing problem.