Jokes will definitely hurt your stomach.

Joke Daquan will definitely laugh his belly off.

Lead: The real friends around you have little to do with your beauty or ugliness, or whether you have money or not. Below, my YJ family has collected a set of jokes that will definitely make you sick. Let's learn humor and collect popularity together!

1, who says tofu can't kill people? Try changing frozen tofu next time.

2, classmate QQ automatic reply: rest, no time to chat, talk in class.

Spoony man, who are you waiting for? Let the wet nurse accompany you in this life. . .

4. According to unreliable information, the men's clothing brand Seven Wolves plans to launch an independent women's clothing brand in the near future, tentatively named? Seven mothers.

5, quarreling can't beat my wife, so after every quarrel, I will secretly raise my wife's electronic scale 1 kg! !

6, don't flatter more, be careful to pat shit.

7. Smiling is sometimes like a band-aid. Although it covers up the wound, it still hurts.

8. Life is like an electrocardiogram. You want smooth sailing without ups and downs, unless you die.

9. Vows are words written on the water, which are fleeting; Love is a house built on water, swaying; Apology is a snow blanket in winter, and it always comes late.

10, two basic points of a happy life: be confused and be smart.

12, what do the poor lack: superficial lack of funds, essence lack of ambition, brain lack of ideas, insufficient understanding of opportunities, lack of courage in bones, lack of action in change, and lack of perseverance in doing things.

13, evil is a plow, good is mud, and good people are often bullied by evil people. The iron plow is getting worse every year, and the mud is not changed in the field.

14. Actually, I can't tell jokes. Someone always asks me to tell one, and you laugh before I tell it.

15, a man said to his girlfriend: honey, I dreamed of you yesterday, and my pants were wet when I got up this morning. ?

His girlfriend shyly asked:? Honey, what did you dream about me yesterday?

Man:? I dreamed that you took off your makeup yesterday, which scared me to pee. ?

A slap in the face, my girlfriend turned and left. . .

16, on the phone, a sister:? Sit up critically ill. Where's my courier?

Courier:? Mochow doesn't know the way ahead. I will wait for you downstairs. ?

Sister:? Ha ha ha, ok! ?

17, I heard that women fight very badly, and I just saw it today. Two women are on the bus. First, they scolded each other for trivial things.

Then, I started doing it. That posture, grinning, crying, bared his teeth, you pulled me out of the car, and both women only wore bras.

Unexpectedly, the whole car has not moved, what quality.

I went to five stops, and none of them won.

Just getting off the bus and preparing to go back, a man on the bus shouted: Pull her pants, pull her pants. . .

Shit, I quickly shouted: master, open the door, I got off at the wrong station!

18, a monk asked the youth: Which do you choose, jujube tree or 1 kg jujube?

The youth said:? I want a thousand dates. ?

The monk shook his head and smiled. The benefactor is superficial. It is better to give people dates than to give them jujube trees. Do you understand this truth? Jujube is gone when it is sold. Jujube trees can be used for a lifetime! ?

The youth said:? I want 1,000 kilos of dates. If I sell them, I can buy many jujube seedlings. ?

Monk:? Amitabha? I don't want to talk to you poor diaosi! No money! That's awesome! Still love to wrangle!

19, colleagues in the company like to swear, and the female supervisor can't stand it. She said at the morning meeting: Don't keep other people's things in your mouth all day! ! ?

So we are collectively stupid. . .

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