A miser's little joke

A miser's joke

Have you ever seen the biggest joke? Do you really want to see it, then I will arrange a number of small jokes for your entertainment.

　? The miser's joke

The miser said to his son who was at school. Tell your teacher that we won't pay for the map of the world, and that our family will never go anywhere. ?

　? Some unkind people

The farmer wandered around for several days, and was very thirsty. Finally, he saw a man sitting at the table. ? I'm dying of thirst. Can I have a glass of water? The farmer said. ? I have no water, but why don't you buy a tie? The man showed the tie on the table to the farmer. ? I don't need a tie. The farmer said, I want water 1? All right,? The tie merchant said,? There is a restaurant on that hill 7 kilometers away. They have water for you to drink. ? The farmer thanked the businessman and staggered towards the hill. Three hours later, he came back again. ? Didn't you find that restaurant? Asked the businessman. ? Found 1 The farmer said angrily,? But I'm not wearing a tie, and he won't let me in. ?

　? One dark and windy night

I was walking alone on the road and saw an old man holding a flashlight, just like my flashlight! !

I thought that man was my father, so I stepped forward. I was just about to open my mouth, but the man spoke first. Shut up! Plus you're the third person to call me dad tonight! ! ! ! ?

　? What should I do if I meet a bear?

If I meet a bear, I should lie down and play dead immediately, and don't move when it comes. This must be a rumor made by a bear.

　? Wish succeeded

Last night, I accompanied my girlfriend to watch the meteor shower. By the way, I made a wish. My girlfriend asked me what I wished, and I said I couldn't say it, so it wouldn't work if I said it. I didn't expect my girlfriend to get angry immediately: Will you say it or not? Don't tell me I broke up with you! " ? Ok! " Make a wish so soon?

　?

a child who deserves a beating

? Sister, from your appearance, you must be a person who respects the old and loves the young. ?

　? Brother, how can you tell?

　? My mother told me several stories about respecting the old and caring for the young yesterday. One of them was called Dinosaur Rangli. ?

　? How can I find a daughter-in-law?

How can a young man meet a Zen master? Master, I am still single in my thirties. How can I find a wife?

Zen master feels his head: You are sick, aren't you? I want to know how to find a daughter-in-law and I'm still a monk. ! ?

　? It feels good to be hit

The girl hit the golf ball askew, a man was hit, his hands were sandwiched between his legs and he fell to the ground. The young lady reached out and touched it gently and asked, What's the matter? Man: It feels good, but my thumb hurts.

　? I repaired the computer in an instant

Today, I went to my female colleague's house to help her repair the computer. There was a virus in the computer. I asked her what she usually does with the computer. She said it's nothing, just that she always likes watching movies. It was repaired at noon, and she insisted on inviting me to dinner. I said it would be better to do it at home and save money. She said well, there are cucumbers, carrots, eggplant and loofah at home. What do you like to eat? . I'm in a mess: sorry, I have an important thing today. I'll go first ...

? Uncle < P > of the drugstore has been dating his girlfriend for two months. Today, she told me that her family is not here and asked me to come over.

Because we haven't had an H, I think today is our chance!

Only when I arrived at her apartment did I find that I didn't bring important daily necessities. Fortunately, there was a drugstore on the first floor of her house.

the shopkeeper is an uncle, so he easily put forward what he wants to buy.

When paying, Uncle smiled and said:? Little brother, do you want to use it now?

I was a little shy, too, and blurted out:? Yes, it's the first time. ?

　? Do a good job, okay? My uncle said to me when I left.

When I arrived at my girlfriend's house, she said that her family seemed to be coming back.

it seems that I can't make it today ... but it would be nice to meet her family by the way.

Funny stories of classmates with no taste

1. Eating buffet hot pot with roommates, I couldn't eat any more at the end, but one buddy was still eating hard. That buddy burped and told us that eating buffet was instinct at first, and it was will at the end!

2. Two buddies in the dormitory chatted yesterday. . .

A: what do you think I look like? To tell the truth,

B looked at him for a long time and said seriously: Brother, did you steal the family tribute when you were a child?

A: what do you mean?

B: otherwise, it looks like a curse!

3. In the toilet, classmates:? Why are you willing to go to the bathroom?

me: People have three emergencies! ?

classmate:? Not hungry, are you?

nimei

4. classmate a:? I heard that you applied for liberal arts?

classmate b:? Yes ?

　A：? Why?

B sighed:? Because my girlfriend keeps asking me, how many years do I have to pay back the loan when I buy a house of 1 million?

A don't understand:? Oh, then you should apply for science! ?

B wry smile way:? Later, I figured it out that it was better to study liberal arts. ?

A q:? Why?

channel b:? Learn more sweet words to make her forget the idea! ?

5. Hit-and-run. Remember to interview a student at the scene: Were you there when the vehicle hit the accident?

yes!

then why didn't you stop him when he escaped?

At that time, I saw those brave martyrs who were brave and risked their lives, so I decided to stop them, but before I finished thinking, the guy ran away and disappeared! ;