Talk show lines

1, I believe that women's universities have changed eighteen times and become more and more casual.

You must tolerate my ignorance like your leader. I'm not saying that a leader must be ignorant. The basis of ignorance is leadership. This sentence is wrong! How can a leader be ignorant? If a leader is stupid, he is called great wisdom!

3. Later I went to observe (yuanxiao mold). It turned out that they vomited after drinking half a mouthful, and some vomited so badly that they didn't even have foam! Basically, they are hesitant all afternoon, and a cup of black coffee can drink cappuccino.

I believe Britain is the most beautiful country in Europe, especially Paris.

5. Hello, everyone! Hi! Ok ... I don't have much time to perform because my green card will expire soon. I grew up in the backcountry of China. One year in junior high school, we suddenly decided to repair dirt roads, lay bricks and cement, and let students take bricks to school ... We worked hard for three weeks and finally repaired the road. Many years later, I heard this word: child labor. I was immediately surprised. What? ! Are those children still paid for their work?

6. At the beginning of 2008, the Prime Minister said: 2008 will be the most difficult year. Nothing happened before the Prime Minister said this. As soon as the Prime Minister's voice fell, everything happened. After the Chinese New Year, a snowstorm; By plane, return; Take the train and derail; Sitting at home? There was an earthquake.

7. At present, the stock market in China has become an accident.

8. Everyone thinks that he is a stock god. Even the aunt who sells onions in the vegetable market said, "I have news!"

9. remember Marriage is a set meal to eat together, marriage is money, so we should go together.

10, (magnetic levitation),100 billion, solving the traffic problem of 30 kilometers.

1 1, Liu Huan for so many years, I have never found his neck.

12, every time Allah can see Premier Wen at the old farmer's house on TV, he always picks the most lost (dirty) person to shake hands (then Zhou Libo makes Premier Wen's statement): "We are late!"

13, at that time, malt extract should not be too strange! I went to my classmate's house and his mother made me a cup of malt extract. It was amazing! At that time, I gave the children malt extract! But I picked it up and looked at it. I'm dying. How can I get the opposite picture? Just put a few fucking (malted milk essence)! She thinks it's chicken essence! Also inserted a chopstick to call me: adjust a tune, adjust a tune! It was still a little confusing (turbid), very clear (very clear)!

14, a fire, a fire, burned our Daxinganling.

15, the worst thing is the cramp dance (cramp), where three or four hundred people dance together, as if they can't find the toilet.

16, think about it, this 380 yuan is useless at home, the most you can see, hey, this is counterfeit money! This is the beginning of HD!

17, if you spend 380 yuan in Maggie to see Zhou Libo and you don't laugh, you can take Zhou Libo to the hospital.

18, hybrids must be mixed as far away as possible if they want to be beautiful.

Chris Lee answered me a puzzling question. I didn't believe Mulan joined the army at first. How could Mulan join the army without being discovered? Later, I met Chris Lee, and I finally knew, oh! Facts have proved that it is technically feasible!

20. Yu-Ching Fei, I did the math for him. Every time I have a good concert in Shanghai, I run away the next day. He didn't spend money in Shanghai, which is not good for our GDp in Shanghai!

2 1, I believe my meal is good, because everyone who survived my meal said so.

22. I am very careful. I found that in swimming pools, especially female compatriots, the angle of these swimming trunks averaged 20 degrees for five years.

23. Bowing for so long is not to win applause. Actually, I mainly want people to check my head.

24. (Next to the high-voltage tower) A giant slogan reads: Do not touch the high-voltage line. If you touch them, you will die.

I believe that God is a woman, because she will never forget anything you did wrong.

26. Thank you! I feel very honored that so many of you have come to see me today. ...

27. I don't like Chinese mixed with English. It is very inappropriate and impossible to speak English when speaking Chinese.

28. I believe my wife's English is really not very good. She once again asked me how to spell the English word CCTV.

29. I believe that a healthy mind is the foundation of happiness, so I never have a physical examination.

30. The combination of two unfavorable factors makes us laugh and cry.

3 1. To be friends with a person, you should not only accept his advantages, but also like his shortcomings. This is called-lack of happiness (fool).

I believe people should go to bed early and get up early, and do more meaningful things in the morning, such as sleeping late.

33. The stock of Allah (us) not only plays with people, but also plays with birds. Even the bird was killed by you, so why does Allah play with a bird?

34, not a thousand years, but a Zhou Libo, you think I am a turtle!

35. A person must have a legal concept and know how to protect himself. Of course, after you know the law, you don't break the law, which is a waste.

36. And all my childhood memories were destroyed by my childhood. When I was in primary school, as part of my course, I went to work in rice fields. Next to the rice field is a quarry. They blew up rocks with explosives. It was there that I learned that light travels faster than sound, and the speed of sound is almost as slow as the speed of stone flying.

38. Friends! Help! Big friends! Marlboro, in the pocket!

39. The most disabled people (poor) are those sparrows. The big screen in front of the securities company has never been red, but it has always been a bright green forehead. Sparrows don't understand. They thought that * * * Green Forest Park had arrived, and Zhong Yan Greenland had arrived. They only rushed to the big screen! Fight for one and die, fight for one and die.

40, collapse, is to collapse into pieces!

Post-80s talk show lines

1. Losers in love have gone too far. What do you mean by pure price? Who said I failed in love? Where did I fail? 2. Dear earthquake volcano is not terrible as long as you are around, because you are even more terrible.

Throughout the ages, everyone loves to be a civil servant. In ancient times, it was relatively simple. Cut it with one knife.

With such a lighter, you still expect others to borrow it.

5, office workers are very hard, the salary is a monthly salary, but the workload does not include traffic.

6. Everyone has advantages at work, but everyone hates being called a leader.

7. I met a taxi driver and robbed him: Special Two Youth: You can do anything. Can you stop the meter first?

8. The goddess said: My piano 10 level, clarinet level 6, English level 8. What's your specialty? Wang Jianguo thought for a long time: I am level 60 in World of Warcraft.

9. Setting off firecrackers is to dispel the fear of the unknown future, such as setting off firecrackers when getting married.

10, since the first day of stock trading, my qualifications have declined. Who asked me how the stock was: down.

1 1, stop, stop, give me a bird's stomach. Who is the man who just had four lunches backstage?

12, a successful woman will make her husband feel insecure forever.

13. There are boyfriend and girlfriend online now. How do parents tell a true boyfriend from a false one? Ask him at the dinner table, didn't our child's infectious disease pass to you? Say nothing is false, jump is true.

14. There was another aftershock in Japan. There was no loss or death this time. What does this mean? This shows that the sequel is not as good as the first episode.

15, star guest, you play a walk-on.

16, like F 1 1, you have been there all the time, but you just don't know what to do. You can call me F4.

17, I have no credibility. I know. I am the stomach of a bird. Do you think I have lost weight recently?

18, didn't starve to death for six years, and didn't hit the professor; The walls of Beijing have not been torn down.

19, I always say that jokes are a loser's game. There are beautiful women to see, who will listen to jokes! Who can tell jokes when there are beautiful women to see!

20. Earn money to sell cabbage and white powder.

2 1, three vultures live in the hearts of three vultures forever.

Tonight's post-80s talk show lines

1, stuffy nose, I can't hear you clearly. 2, the three customs will always live in the hearts of the three vulgar people.

3. Fat Wang Jianguo, Lai Bao and Maruko.

4, hate less when using books, and put your feet without insoles.

5. Earn money to sell cabbage and white powder.

6, the four men of leather shoes-gelatin, milk, jelly, capsules.

7. Take out a cigarette and shout at the volcano and light it for me.

8. The star will make a guest appearance, and you will play a walk-on.

9. I'm here. What else can happen at home?

10, with such a lighter, you still expect others to borrow it.

A successful woman will make her husband feel insecure forever.

12, everyone has advantages in his work, but everyone hates being called a leader.

13, as long as you are willing to open skills and mix, there is no immortal paladin.

14. Those who don't help others when they see others fall will definitely have no one to help them when they fall.

15, dear earthquake volcano is not terrible as long as you are around, because you are even more terrible.

16, office workers are very hard, and the salary is a monthly salary, but the workload does not include traffic.

17, Wang Jianguo: I was bitten by a dog. Can I be a dog? You have rabies.

18, setting off firecrackers is to drive away the fear of the unknown in the future, such as setting off firecrackers when getting married.

19, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

I haven't starved to death in 20 or 6 years, and I haven't bumped into a professor; The walls of Beijing have not been torn down.

2 1, let's talk about the significance of Lu Xun. In fact, people just want to earn some money to eat noodles.

22. Throughout the ages, everyone loves to be a civil servant. In ancient times, it was relatively simple. Cut it with one knife.

23. I have no credibility. I know. I am the stomach of a bird. Do you think I have lost weight recently?

24. What the weak say is an excuse. Everything is luck, which is the humility of the strong.

25. Crosstalk is divided into disc version and gun version. We have a gun version here, because we have laughter here.

26. Since the first day of stock trading, my qualifications have declined. When you meet someone, ask how the stock is: down.

27. The people have no special requirements. We just want to live like employees of state-owned enterprises.

28. My wife always asks me: Is there always a piece of clothing missing from my husband's closet? Yes, you always buy skirts.

29. Just like F 1 1, you are always there, but you just don't know what to do. You can call me F4.

30. I met a taxi driver and robbed him: Special Two Youth: You can do anything. Can you stop the meter first?

3 1, hello everyone, come to class today. I don't talk about fashion today, but I want to talk about love today.

32. Losers in love have gone too far. What do you mean by pure price? Who said I failed in love? Where did I fail?

33. At the airport, a man asked me, man, do you have a lighter? I said yes, here you are. Oh, it's disposable. I have zippo, too

34. I always say that jokes are a loser's game. There are beautiful women to see, who will listen to jokes! Who can tell jokes when there are beautiful women to see!

35, forget it, I tell you, this is wrong in short, the key is that your film only teaches female bachelors how to fall in love.

36. Another aftershock occurred in Japan. This time, there were no casualties. What does this mean? This shows that the sequel is not as good as the first episode.

37. Every time the subway runs, several people get off. I decided to take a cactus to work, and then I got off the subway and saw how aloe vera was.

38. Girls in their twenties now marry old men in their forties and fifties. What should we do? We will wait until we are 40 or 50 years old before marrying people in their twenties.

Spider-Man, like Qian Qian, can only live in cities. It is impossible to live in the countryside, but there are more opportunities in the city.

40. Look at the movies you made. Of course, it's a good movie. All the failures in it should be your personal experience.

4 1, the goddess said: my piano 10, clarinet 6, English 8. What's your specialty? Wang Jianguo thought for a long time: I am level 60 in World of Warcraft.

42. God, I'm ready to go to the Kung Fu world, aren't I? You have no idea how painful this punch is! Sister Hold: No, I am so gentle.

43. Go to a place where I really want to take you. It has beautiful lighting, a very good atmosphere and a box. Most importantly, it will be a little exciting if we go together.

44. Let's not talk about acting, but the single life is very sad. Gao Shuai is as rich and powerful as we are. He is rich, eloquent, knowledgeable and talented.

45. There are boyfriend and girlfriend for rent online now. How do parents distinguish between true and false boyfriends and girlfriends? Ask him at the dinner table, didn't our child's infectious disease pass to you? Say nothing is false, jump is true.

46. It's very popular recently to be willful when you have money, which is simply nonsense. Think about it, we were all willful when we were young. We are all poor, and we are still poor. Since I have known money since I was a child, I am no longer willful, because I only know money.

8090 talk show

1, campus love is like pure water, but can you hold her for life?

As long as you have confidence, young love will mature one day.

3. Is it helpless or an excuse to break up after graduation?

4, as long as the hoe is good, I am not afraid that the corner can't be dug.

5, friendship, can stand the dull, but can't stand the wind and rain, love, can stand the wind and rain, but can't stand the dull.

6. In love, we always want to seek a satisfaction from the outside world, so we will never be satisfied. If we always want to meet each other's requirements by changing ourselves, in fact, the other party can never really meet you. If you want to have a good love, the most important thing is to love yourself and affirm yourself, so that you can have a good love.

7. In the experience of life, pure love doesn't always exist. When you still have it, cherish each other, see each other's advantages and disadvantages, learn to love him and accept her. Instead of trying to change! Then you will have a more perfect harvest!

8, people are always scarred, in order to practice invincible armor. I am so abstract, and there is spring. What are you afraid of?

9. The reason why we fall in love with someone is often because we fall in love with ourselves.

10. When Cupid shoots love and arrows at you, you have love and arrows. When you return your love to Cupid, all you have left is an arrow.

1 1. Love is a heroic dream in a tired life, because with love, everyone has his own legend.

12, love belongs to the brave who dare to give and take, and the brave must have the courage to admit defeat.

13, I also believe that love can overcome all difficulties, but after all difficulties, there will be all difficulties, and after all difficulties, there will be all difficulties. In short, it is difficult to love someone.

14, marriage is not a commitment to the other party, nor a constraint on others, but a constraint on oneself.

15, like is a kind of feeling, love is a kind of responsibility, you can't be willful like a child forever, you have to learn to grow up, and your parents won't shelter you from the wind and rain forever.

16, love is a war, I am not afraid of being hurt, but you are unhappy.

17, love is also a dream. As long as you work hard, your dream will come true.

18, sometimes, love is a kind of injury, cruel people choose to hurt others, and kind people choose to hurt themselves.

19, relying on the mountain will fall, relying on people will grow old, and love depends on yourself.

20. Feelings are two people's business. Complaining about others will only make true love pass you by.

2 1, love makes people warm. Warm word unpacking is a day and a love. More love every day will make our days warm.

22. We came together because we didn't know each other and broke up because we knew each other.

The difference between a lie and an oath is that the listener takes it seriously and the speaker takes it seriously.

24. The merry-go-round is the most cruel game in the world, chasing each other, but always separated by a sad distance.

25. Some things are obviously wrong, but they have to persist because they are unwilling. Some people clearly love, but they have to give up because there is no ending.

26. Love is the biggest adventure in the world, and all people are desperate adventurers.

27. If love and friendship leave you. Then a person is like being exiled. Go far away.

28, iron pestle can be ground into needles, wooden pestle can only be ground into toothpicks, the material is wrong, and it is in vain to work hard again.

29. When you fall in love with someone, you also give this person the right to hurt you!

After leaving the campus, we all drank wine and lived in a daze.

3 1, we broke up after graduation because we were no longer good lovers and classmates after graduation.

32. I always thought I was decadent, and I didn't know it until now. In fact, I have long since abolished it.

Actually, the difficulty is not terrible. The terrible thing is that no one shares it with you.

34. If something goes wrong, you must first find the reason from yourself. Don't be constipated and blame the earth for not looking good.

35. Marriage is like cigarettes. Not every cigarette can burn to the end. Even if the smoker burns out, there will be another one.

36. How jealous a woman must be to keep a man's heart.

In this fast food era, there is fast food music, fast food culture and fast food love, so more and more stepmother stands in front of you with fast food.

38. Home is a place to talk about love, not reason.

39. For women, the husband is the world and the son is everything.

40. Can't cook? It doesn't matter. Pretend to be good at washing dishes after dinner.

4 1, marriage is to put on cotton-padded clothes for freedom. Although it is not so convenient to move, it is very warm.

42. Hugging is really a strange thing. I can't see each other's faces clearly so close.

43. I love you This is my business, not yours.

44. All the old ladies on Naihe Bridge have switched to selling coke. I can't forget it.

45. The script of life is not a sequel of parents, a prequel of children, or a foreign story of friends.

46. It is not difficult to be single, but it is difficult to deal with those people who make you try your best to get rid of them.

47. When you are young, don't run amok, be bold and presumptuous. Why is there a topic when you are old?

48. Love is like a ghost. Many people have heard of it, but few have seen it.

49. Although you irrigate carefully, I say you don't love if you don't love.

50. Is love equal? It is out of the question. Whoever loves deeply will suffer greatly.

5 1, flowers often do not belong to people who appreciate flowers, but to cow dung.

52. Love is like boiled water. If you drink it every day, it will be tasteless. Without it, you will definitely die.

53. Love can fill the regrets in life, but it can also create more regrets.

54. Friend, have you ever crossed the rivers and lakes? Men are Jianghu, Jianghu is sinister, you know?

55. If you move, you can't move your feelings. If you move, you are willing to gamble and lose.

56. Love is a romantic thing, and frustrated people can't afford it.

57. If you fall in love with someone because of loneliness, you will eventually be lonely because of love.

58. A man never worries about his future until he finds a wife. A woman often worries about her future until she finds a husband.

59, people can't extricate themselves, except teeth and love.

60. Love is brave because of strangeness and beautiful because of distance.

6 1, don't treat garlic cloves as daffodils, let daffodils miss it like this.