Etiquette joke

Etiquette joke

Several people discussed going to mourn together, but they didn't know the etiquette of mourning. One of them claimed to know a little, so he said to his companions, When the time comes, you will follow my etiquette and do as I do. When I arrived at the funeral home, the man was in the first row, prone on the mat, and his companions followed his example, leaning on the back of the previous one.

When the leader saw his companion's appearance, he was furious and inconvenient to attack, so he stretched out his foot and kicked the person behind him and whispered, idiot! The people behind thought that this was the etiquette, so they kicked back and said, "Stupid thing!" " The people in the last row were close to the dutiful son, so they kicked him and said, Idiot!

One day, the teacher was scolded by her husband, and she was very unhappy. At the beginning of the class, she walked into the classroom, and the students stood up to say hello to her. Everyone said, "Good morning, teacher!" "The teacher got angry and said," Am I not good in the afternoon? "The students said," Good afternoon, teacher! " The teacher said, "What does that add up to? Good morning, teacher, good afternoon and good evening! " The students said.

An American, a Japanese and an China are exploring the jungle. As a result, they were all arrested by cannibal tribes. But the tribal leader said, "I'm in a good mood today. I won't eat you, but you all have to get a hundred boards, but you can have a wish come true before you get a board." "

The American was the first to be hit by the board. He said, "Before hitting the board, put 1 mat on my ass." Mats, boards rained down; In the past, 70 boards were ok. After the 70-board back cushion was smashed and there was blood on the board ... America always left.

When the Japanese saw this, they asked for a 10 mattress. 1, 2, 3 ... 100 is over, in Japanese.

Get up, pat your ass, nothing; Then he boasted about his imitation ability and re-creation ability with a smelly mouth, and wanted to sit in a Chinese drama.

China people slowly get down and say slowly, "Come on, give me the Japanese mat." …

An old man went to the hospital by bus because of otitis media. On the way, a young man next to the old man smelled a strange smell and scolded, "Why is your old man's ear so smelly?" The old man said, "Because he listens to dirty words."

In a quiet self-study class, a student said to the teacher, "Teacher, I want to fart." The teacher said, "Please speak in civilized language."

The student thought for a moment and said, "Excuse me, teacher, my ass wants to burp." .

Civilized etiquette story 1. The school has a working lunch at noon every day, and all the teachers eat it together. But for the safety of students, two teachers are arranged to send students across the street every day and let them eat late. One day at noon, many teachers began to eat lunch as usual, only President Chen sat at the table without moving chopsticks. We thought he had a problem, but he told us a story. The story probably means that people who talk about "Yi Men Chen" pay great attention to "Yi" and "Li", which shocked the emperors at that time. One of the details says: all dogs here know "righteousness" and "courtesy", and there is a legend that "dogs don't eat until they arrive." After listening to this story, everyone remembered that there were two teachers who didn't come to dinner to send their students across the street ... from then on, they would wait until everyone arrived before opening chopsticks.

Civilized etiquette story II. Several juniors walked side by side, talking and laughing. A teacher came in front, and they didn't know each other. But when the teacher came up to these students, everyone else was still joking. Only one student bowed respectfully and said "Hello, teacher". Of course, the teacher answered "hello" happily, and the other students didn't hum. After the teacher passed. Some people say that the classmate is a cake, and the teacher he doesn't know bows. Some people say that he is just pretending to show others. That classmate didn't refute them, but said: being a polite person is the most basic requirement of being a student. I walked behind them and was very moved by this sentence and by the sincerity of that classmate. Politeness is really a rare quality

Civilization etiquette story three. It can be said that it is just an action. That day, a teacher saw a popsicle wrapping paper, bent down to pick it up and threw it into the trash can. This is an unremarkable action, but his behavior of setting an example and being a teacher taught us that he is a teacher. If a classmate sees the teacher's practice, how can he not admire him? Maybe he will do the same next time, and he will understand that littering is uncivilized. Through these small things, I have realized that the meaning of "etiquette" is expressed from a small thing, a manifestation of spiritual beauty and a standard for a person to be a man. We should turn society into a civilized and pollution-free paradise. Still the same reason: starting from me, only you, me and him "starting from me" will be full of etiquette "taste" everywhere, and will make you, me and him become real people.

A colonel checked a recruit's instrument and suddenly found a button on a recruit's coat unbuttoned, so he said sternly, "What should I do if the button is unbuttoned?" "At this point, the recruits tied the colonel's button trembling.

One day, I took my two-year-old son home from kindergarten. The child was bored sitting in the back seat of the bicycle, so I said, "Hey, kid, let me make a word. Can you make a sentence for my father? " "Yes, you go," he said. "Delicious," I said. "Delicious a fart! He followed me. "

Voice blurted out?

After dinner, mother and daughter wash dishes together in the kitchen. Father and son are watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a sound of breaking dishes in the kitchen, and then there was silence. Son: Mom must have broken it! Father: How do you know? Son: She didn't swear!

One day, I took my two-year-old son home from kindergarten. The child was bored sitting in the back seat of the bicycle, so I said, "Hey, kid, let me make a word. Can you make a sentence for my father? " "Yes, you go," he said.

"Delicious," I said.

"Delicious a fart! He blurted out immediately after hearing my voice? "

A person was constipated when he went to the toilet, and suddenly he saw a person rushing in, and it was stormy in an instant.

"Dude, I really envy you, so fast."

"I envy you, I didn't take off my pants."

One night, the husband came back from dinner and happily said to his wife, "Today, the manager of our company invited several employees to dinner, and everyone enjoyed themselves." During the dinner, the manager took out three bottles of whisky and said to everyone,' Everyone here, you have never betrayed your wife in your life. These three bottles of wine are his, and no one raised his hand. Do you find it strange? "

The wife asked curiously, "Then why don't you raise your hand?" The husband said in a panic, "You know, I always prefer beer to whisky."

Father and son saw a very luxurious imported car.

Son: people who ride this kind of car must have no knowledge in their stomachs!

Father: People who say such things must have no money in their pockets!

After dinner, mother and daughter wash dishes together in the kitchen.

Father and son are watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a sound of breaking dishes in the kitchen, and then there was silence.

Son: Mom must have broken it!

Father: How do you know?

Son: She didn't swear!

Students who are also in primary school but in grade, their future wish is to be clowns.

Miss China: No ambition! You can't teach a boy!

Foreign teacher: May you bring laughter to the whole world!

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