Help me like a sketch (about the Three Kingdoms to be funny)

Three visits to the thatched cottage

One

The sky is vast, the moon is bright and the stars are sparse. Three big men are walking around the corner, with strange expressions. I can see that each of them has a sharp weapon, so chaotic. At this time of year, in and out of such a remote place, and his behavior is so suspicious, could it be that he is a desperate strongman? Or maybe he's a government spy?

Listen to the leader of the long-eared man who suddenly sighed loudly: "I am Liu Bei and Liu Xuande, a clan member of the Han Dynasty. I am the queen of King Jing of Zhongshan. Today there is great chaos. I am determined to destroy the thieves and calm the people, to clarify the world. I hate the power of Liu Bei." No, I feel like this..."

A dark-faced man next to me laughed three times and said: "Stop practicing, I've heard you say it more than three hundred times, why are you still saying these words? Can't you get something new?"

"Zhang Fei, I said you are uneducated. We are going to see Guan Yu today?"

< p>The red-faced man quickly followed, "Brother Qi, we are going to see Mr. Dinosaur."

"What? Mr. Dinosaur?"

"Oh, it's Pigosaurus Mr.

“Mr. Pig Dragon?”

“Mr. Dragon Ball?”

“Forget it, Mr. Bear I can't find it! Zhang Fei, please check my business account."

"Yes!" The black-faced man was flattered and quickly opened his briefcase and rummaged through it, "Hey, I found it... Oops, the battery is out."

"Idiot, I can't do anything! It's all because of you that I can't see the dinosaurs today!"

"Brother, I remembered. It’s not a dinosaur, it’s not a pig dragon, it’s Mr. Zhuge Kongming!”

“By the way, it’s Mr. Zhuge Kongming!” The long-eared man said, “So, you know why I want to practice those sour things! What are you talking about?"

"I don't know," said the black-faced and red-faced man.

"I'm sorry you don't know, how else can I be the big brother?" The long-eared man was proud, cleared his throat and said, "For rough guys like you, traffickers and pawns, etc. , we must use religious forms such as loyalty, righteousness, benevolence and courage to anesthetize them; but as for intellectuals like Mr. Dinosaur, we must use cultural forms such as 'breaking thieves to calm the people and clarifying the world' to seduce him! ”

"Congratulations, brother!" the black-faced man said.

"High, really high!" said the red-faced man.

Arrived outside Zhuge Kongming's house

Book boy: Oh, no, three big men are here. They don't look like good people. Close the door quickly. (The three of them walked up)

Zhang Fei: Brother, the door is locked.

Liu Bei: Go and call the door.

(Zhang Fei banged the door hard, but it wouldn’t open)

Guan Yu: Zhang Fei, why are you still so clueless? Is there anyone who can open the door like this?

Zhang Fei: Come on then!

Guan Yu: Zilong,

Zhao Yun suddenly appeared and kicked the door open

Liu Bei: You, you, you are

Zhao Yun : I am Zhao Zilong.

Zhang Fei: Which theater troupe are you from? You haven’t come on stage yet!

After saying that, a bookboy walked out of the house

Bookboy: These few people, with their majestic appearance and rosy faces, came to this place. What are they doing?

Liu Bei: A poor monk came from the Tang Dynasty in the east and went to the west to worship Buddha and seek scriptures. He passed by Baofang and stayed for one night. Is it okay? (Turns head and looks left and right) Bajie Wukong, is your teacher right?

Zhang Fei: I KAO, I am convinced YOU! We are playing the Three Kingdoms, not Journey to the West. Is there any mistake?

Liu Bei: Oh oh oh, ah, this, I am Liu Bei and Liu Xuande, a clan clan member of the Han Dynasty and Queen of King Jing of Zhongshan. There is great chaos today. I am determined to destroy thieves, calm the people, and rectify the world, but I cannot do it with hatred, so Come and invite pigs, pigs, pigs...

Guan Yu: Mr. Zhuge Kongming!

Liu Bei: Oh, Zhuge Kongming came out to help me unify the country.

Shu Tong: I’m so sorry, Mr. Kong Ming is not at home.

Liu Bei: Where have you gone?

Bookboy: Going east

Liu Bei: (Looking back at Guan Yu and Zhang Fei) You see, Mr. Dinosaur’s family is well-educated, even Ma Tsai is "ye" and "ye" of.

(To the book boy) It doesn’t matter, here is my business card. I hope you can pass it on when the owner comes back. (Patting his shoulder, whispering) Did you see my name? It doesn't matter, just come to me if you have any problems in the future; if someone bullies you, just say that you are under the care of Boss Liu. Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, let’s go!