An invincible funny copywriter who laughs until he burps.

1. Before marriage, my daughter-in-law was an innocent girl type. Seven years later, she has evolved into a mountain sculpture.

Falling in love with an immature man is like raising a son. You teach him how to love someone, and in the end you will find that you have a wife.

3. My girlfriend broke up with me. She likes others. I screamed at the sky: Can you give me another chance? The next day, my girlfriend really came to me and told me that she liked another person again.

Life is like a heartless meat cleaver, which not only fails to carve you well, but also shaves off your hair a little.

I practiced reversing into the warehouse two days ago. I can't even get in by turning left and right. Finally, the coach said, "Come on, get off! Let's go in! "

Pay attention to details and start with small things, because you can't do big things at all.

7. In class, a person sent a note. When he saw the content, he really wanted to beat him up. It said: Are you there?

Eight. I wanted to ask my mother to scratch my shoulder. As soon as I opened my mouth, I said, Mom, scratch my wings.

Friends around you, get famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well.

10. "I can borrow money, but I have to discuss it with my wife first." "Don't you have no daughter-in-law?" "Yes, so there is no discussion!"

In fact, rich people are very low-key For example, I ride a bike every day, and no one knows that I have an electric car at home.

When you feel lonely, turn on the computer and put on a ghost film. After a while, you will feel that there are people in the toilet, kitchen and room.

13. Angels can fly because they look down on themselves.

14. "Why are people closer to the north more direct?" "It's cold. Who has time to travel with you? "

15. It is said that silence is golden. I was silent for so long, but I didn't see the gold.

15. Today is a blind date. The other party is too demanding. When I get angry, I say, "Why don't you go to heaven?" She replied, "How did you know I was a stewardess? Rest today! "

The weather is very good today. I stayed indoors for a long time and am going to play in the living room.

18. I don't know how people who talk every six months do it. I feel that as long as I don't talk, my talent will have nowhere to display!

19. The face is something separate from the body. Do you want it or not? Money is a must, and you must do it.

20. The best alarm clock in the world is mom. You asked her to call you at 7: 00, and she came at 6: 30, telling you: Hurry up, it's almost 8: 00.

Twenty one. People who love to laugh are not too bad luck. To tell the truth, if a person is unlucky, I don't know how he can laugh.

Twenty-two When comforting others, I just want to find a rope when comforting myself.

Twenty-three When quarreling with your husband, don't blame him in a hurry, but reflect on yourself first. If you are really wrong, think about how to pass it on to him.

24. If a man calls you back after playing a game, remember that this kind of person is a pit and never play with him.

25. The furthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death, but the temperature difference between inside and outside the bed in winter. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but holding a pair of autumn trousers without wearing them.

26. When I am sad, I open my wallet. There is nothing in it. It is balanced. At least I have a wallet, but there is nothing in it.

27. When I'm not around, go home quickly after going out, and don't be too late. Seriously, someone has been stealing dogs recently. I'm afraid something will happen to you.

28. You should remember that no matter how unfamiliar we are in the end, a red envelope can go back to the beginning.