Degang Guo Classic Crosstalk Dream Wedding Lines

A: Now everything is changing, and it is becoming very fast, one a day. Take our cross talk as an example. What you hear today is the same, and what you hear tomorrow is the same.

What's the matter?

A has changed. People's minds are the same. Take me for example. I used to want to get rich, but now I don't think so. Here is the change.

B: Yes!

First, that kind of thinking in the past was wrong. What kind of thought is this?

B: That's right.

I have no idea of getting rich.

B You are better than them.

A: More money is better!

You are not as good as them!

A, according to your idea, do you want to be ambiguous!

B You are the only one who has this idea!

A says getting rich is a joke.

B what?

I once made a fortune. That was more than 20 years ago. I found a big handbag at the Sanqing Theater in Dashilan. When I opened my wallet, I saw more than 500,000 tickets from China and abroad! I suddenly became rich, and suddenly there was a thunder at home. What should we pay attention to when we had money in the old society? Pay attention to food and clothing, pay attention to ostentation and extravagance. I have to pay attention to clothes. You think, when I have money, I must pay attention to it.

B yes. Will you wear it?

A: Do the math. I will put on my leather jacket on June 13.

B wait a minute! Isn't it hot to wear leather clothes on June 13?

A is not spicy, which makes Xia Bu dry noodles!

B is not cool either!

There is also a small cotton-padded jacket with gauze pants inside.

B it's pure sweat!

A I'm wearing seventeen hats by myself, which looks like a chimney from a distance.

A bunch of Sugar-Coated Berry.

My monthly car, three-legged bell.

Do you have both?

The three of us! One on each side.

Where is the B in the middle?

A staff member who poked civilization. I sit more tired than the driver.

B yes! Your hands and feet will be idle from time to time

Do you have barbecue for breakfast? Font color="#006699 "> A drought-inducing scale? /p & gt；

B Do you have that kind of food?

A drinks ice cream, but it's too cold to drink, so we have to heat up a spoonful, add some sesame sauce, add three sanitary balls, put four chickens aside and serve. ...

Did you drink it?

A: I poured it! Not the taste!

B can't be a taste.

A made me crazy. I went to Shanghai.

B What did you do in Shanghai?

A Go to Shanghai and stay in the biggest hotel in Huangpu Beach, one in 60 yuan every day. I left eight doors alone.

B two rooms are not enough?

Answer no! Eight rooms are useful. There is a dining room, a living room, a bathroom and a toilet, occupying four rooms.

B where are the other four?

The four rooms take turns sleeping.

B sleep in a room for one night.

Answer no! Sleep for five minutes in this room and five minutes in that room. When you sleep, take the watch. Go in and make the bed, take off your clothes and go in. Look at the watch, it's still a minute short. Get dressed, fold the bed and run indoors.

B pure toss!

A Take a walk everywhere every day. Both are good, but they are just as bad. They don't understand dialects.

Oh! Can't understand the local dialect.

A misses home in a foreign land, but misses Beijing in Shanghai. Hey! I met an acquaintance in Beijing, who is also our crosstalk performer. You know this man.

Who is this?

A XXX, this person's heart is broken!

B what?

A That year, he met me in Guangxi Road, because he was in Shanghai: "xx, I came here to look for our relatives, but I couldn't find them. They moved away and I'm stuck here. Can you find something for me? " I said, "Where can I find something for you?" Even though I'm still here. Didn't you just eat? Never mind, let's go! Go to my shop. "At that time, I shaved his head, bathed him, changed his clothes, from head to toe.

B is a good friend!

Answer: "You have a fox leg leather coat first."

B what month is it now?

A The temperature in June is over 20 degrees.

Do children wear fox leg leather clothes in February and June?

I built it here, and I asked him to build it with me.

Two sweat bags!

I called everyone in the shop. "Let me introduce you. Mr xx is my closest friend. His is mine and mine is his. No one is allowed to restrict access. " Tell you what, how about we make friends?

B is also unambiguous!

Alas! Kindness breeds disaster.

B what's wrong?

A I went out that day. I'll have a look when I come back. There is nothing in my room! I asked the people in the shop, and they said, "You can't ask us. You can't tell him, limit his entry and exit. " I asked him where he had gone. The man in the shop said, "He cancelled his account and said that you have news to go back to Beijing." Wow! I can't say this sentence, I can't say it, blow typhoid fever! There is not much money left. Can you afford to stay in such a big hotel?

B what should I do?

A trick! Move to the hotel. I couldn't afford a hotel, so I moved to an apartment. I couldn't afford an apartment, so I moved to a small shop. Then he plummeted and slept with a beggar. Sir, I don't even want to talk about it. I feel sad when I say it!

It doesn't matter if b says it.

In a blink of an eye, the twelfth lunar month is over twenty, wearing a hollow cotton-padded jacket.

B yes! You wore a fur coat in June!

A: Forget it. Should the name be cotton-padded jacket or three kinds?

What's the difference between B and C?

There is a robe in front and a coat in the back, that is, there are two or two cotton on the cuffs.

B I haven't even seen this kind of clothes.

There are good people everywhere, and the shopkeeper in the shop saw me: "XXX, look at you like this, you'd better hurry back to Beijing." I said, "Boss, you know exactly what I said. I have no clothes, no food in my stomach and nothing in my hand. How can I go back? " "I'm ready for you." Take out two large numbers for me as soon as you open the safe.

200 yuan?

Twenty cents each!

Twenty cents!

It's better for a family not to give me money than to send a beggar. Let's run out for a while Don't you get it? I said, "Wait a minute, boss. How about giving me 20 cents? Oh, you treat me like a beggar? I'm telling you, when the surname X is rich, he spends money like water and helps others with their money. I don't care about 3500 yuan. Do not look at me. People are not poor! " One gritted his teeth, one stamped his foot, and one was cruel: "Isn't that your twenty cents?"

B no?

A "I'll take it!"

B do you understand?

Amateur. Who will pay a penny then? It's not bad to buy some baked sweet potatoes.

B knows that money is good at this time?

A: You said that if people were unlucky, they wouldn't even join in eating sweet potatoes.

B what?

The more you eat, the less you eat.

B yes, it's gone!

A walked north for a few days, and it snowed heavily. The top was soaked and the bottom was trampled. I have no clothes on me and no food in my stomach. My upper teeth are so cold, I feel more and more sad to think of them. Why am I still alive? Might as well jump into the well and die! You say that people are unlucky, and your words come true. You say that if you jump into a well, there will be a well.

B there is no merger anywhere.

As soon as A goes uphill, it is a vegetable garden. When there is such a big well (gesture) in the middle, three people jump in and no one touches anyone.

B what a big well.

There is a shack next to A, where two people sleep. Don't ask, it must be food. When I saw no one around, I took advantage of this person's ignorance-

B jumped in?

A can't jump

B what?

You see, we are smart people and can't do shady things. I woke up a vegetable watcher and I discussed it with him. He asked me to jump, and I jumped here. He won't let me jump. I will jump somewhere else. It doesn't matter.

B I have never heard of it. Did you wake someone up and jump into the well?

"Second brother, wake up." "Do you buy it?" "Don't buy anything, lend you light and jump into the well." Scared, he blushed and pulled me: "Tell me what's difficult! More than 300 holes in our village point to this well! You will be finished in one jump. " The more he pulls me, the more I jump.

B really wants to die!

Who really died? I want to scare him. If he is afraid, give me dozens of dollars and I will live!

Listen, what is this behavior!

As soon as A shouted, that one woke up: "Are you yelling, second child?" "Brother, come on, look, this man is going to merge." "Give it up! If you want to jump early, wake people up and jump into the well! "

This person in the second family understands.

"I said, who wants to jump into the well?" "Lend you the lamp, me!" "Are you alone? Is there anyone else? " This can be three Qing Zi, why do you worship your brother to jump into the well? "I am alone." "You a person is easy. This is your own well in your garden. It's been driving for over thirty years. There hasn't been a master jumper yet. There is nothing more to say. Please give me a card, big brother! "

B see if you can jump this time!

He knows this place very well. He asked me to open it for him! "Don't open the door for you, don't call you! To die is to die in light. Tell the truth, is this well sweet and bitter? "

B why do you ask?

First, find a step.

He said it was sweet water?

I'm not gonna die. I come from bad karma. I can't do anything. I'll find the bitter one.

He said bitter water?

I won't die of bitter water. I come from bad karma. I've suffered all my life, and I don't want to drink sweet water even after I die!

B hey! He has something to say!

No matter what he says, I won't die. He gave me a smile: "You asked us about this water?"

B sweet and sour?

A "semi-sweet is not bitter!"

B: Drink whatever you want.

The second child is water. What an idiot! You are three Qing Zi! From destruction, dare you kill me? Barefoot is afraid of you wearing shoes? I can't do what we agreed. I'm really in a hurry!

B hit them?

I knelt down for them! Kneel there and talk to them.

What nonsense did b say?

A: "I haven't eaten for three days. Do you have any leftovers for me? " ? I will never forget your good points while I am alive. "

B is this a cross talk? You're suing someone!

A scared those two off!

B, that's softhearted!

A "Learn better in a gentle way. I should have said it earlier. Scare us by jumping into a well? Second, give it to him. " Bring me two cakes and half-casserole millet porridge in a few minutes. "Come on, you can even give me this pot!"

B what do you need this pot for?

It's good to beg once.

B I am hungry this time.

A gave me another bundle of firewood and half a box of matches. "Come on, go to the North Earth Temple and bear it. This is our public place. " When you come to the Earth Temple, turn on the X fan, dust off the table, light firewood and drive away the cold in the temple. Sit on the pot, eat the paste cake and drink porridge while it is hot. I hugged the firewood ashes and the floor grill in the casserole, holding the casserole, wrapped in a cotton-padded jacket and with a censer on my head. I'm so sleepy-

B seems to be asleep.

It's my fault, I missed a sleep (tax)!

B, you are punished for tax evasion!

A seems to be sleeping here, just listening to the car outside, bang! Stop. Two people got out of the taxi. One said, "Look for it!" Who said, "Don't worry, he can't go far. He must have entered the temple! " "

B may be a thief.

A, if you catch someone breaking an open flame, shoot me later! When I was afraid, I jumped down and looked under the altar. They didn't look like officials when they came in.

What is the B-ultrasound image for?

A dressed as a follower, wearing a leather jacket and holding an electric baton: "Take a picture-it's not here, come out!" " "I said," not me. "Set the two men, just-

B Tie you up?

Get on your knees later! I think it sounds good, so don't mention it.

What did b call you?

"Uncle, who have sinned against you again? The old lady gave us three days, and the next day, if we can't find you tomorrow, we must send us to the county! Uncle, please come back with us! "

B Do you have any relatives here?

Who has relatives?

B Then how can I call you uncle?

A family mistook me for someone else.

B yes.

A I have to give way: "Do you take a closer look at an uncle like me?" The footman started a quarrel; "Uncle, my words are worth your opening. I raised you from a young age, and I can recognize the rest of the bones. " These two people simply mistook one for another.

B, alas!

He mistook me for someone else. Do you think I should go with him?

B Then go with him.

First, go with him? See what he's looking for. If you can find your son and nephew to go with him, why don't you look for them in vain when you get there? How to also have to give a few pieces. Suppose I stand, sir. Look at that. You thought it was a tap?

B then don't go.

None of them will go? You must starve to death in this temple.

Do you have any definite ideas?

A ask him. I won't go if there are many men in their family. These people are not playing easily. It doesn't matter how many women have, just hit them twice, complain and run.

You are ridiculous. You are somebody else's uncle. I don't know who they are.

This place is used for business. Take my words to trap him: "Since you two brothers are here, go back and tell him that I will never commit suicide!" "

You're not going to die!

"You see, my clothes are in rags, so I went back. Who do you think I deserve? " ? I'll ask my classmates to change their clothes and go back tomorrow! "The servant said," Uncle, you are really confused. Do you know who else is at home? "? The old lady is your hometown; Missing someone who is you; The rest of us are your slaves. We eat your meager food every month. Who dares to laugh at you? "I didn't expect a widow and an old lady with a girl (showing great pride).

What are you doing?

Into the brain. Get on the bus with a casserole.

B just throw away the casserole!

Amateur. Throw it away? Have a look there, no, come out and beg. There are no more boys!

B I am hungry this time.

A car drives really fast, and the corner is here. Liangguangmen is in the north of the road, with four locust trees, horses and stones, and horse piles. The light bulb at the door is so big (gesture) that there are more than 84,600 candles.

B Do you have so many candles?

It looks like daytime. The valet got off the bus and shouted, "Pick up my uncle!" " There are more than 200 incisions coming out of it. The big workers, the coolies, the information desk, the maid and the old lady stood in two rows, and I was afraid to get off.

B what?

A land temple is black, two people with four eyes, and it is easy to be fooled. There were more than 200 people and more than 400 eyes, and one of them saw it: "This is not our uncle!" " Trouble! No? The bus is at the door!

B what should I do?

A: I have to play tricks. When I put that casserole in it, it was like a leather bag. As soon as I shook my sleeves, I blocked my face: "Don't do this!" We went in. He grabbed it with his hand and took the cotton out of his cuff!

B this time it became a jacket.

As soon as A entered the second door, she saw the old lady coming out of the building.

B You know him?

I don't know.

B Then how do you know?

A there is a reason. The one holding hands between the two mothers must be our old lady. I didn't finish eating. My mother helped me walk around the yard.

B never heard of it!

A knelt at the door and covered her face with her hand: "Mom, I'm home!" " "

Are you still ashamed?

Who is ashamed?

B Then why are you covering your face?

A I'm afraid she'll see!

B yes.

The old lady said, "Alas! If you can't find it in two days, you must lie outside, which will make me angry sooner or later. Go in! " I didn't see it! I shivered outside and sweated when I entered the room.

B what?

A is surrounded by heating pipes and eight stoves, all so high, so thick, so big, so big (gesture), eight tons of coal is only half filled! How high is the flame!

B: Hey! Where is that room?

There are holes in the armor room!

B are all non-porous settings!

His teeth turned white as soon as he looked in the mirror. "Take my uncle to the bathhouse to take a bath."

B: Is there a bathtub at home?

A family brought me six pancreases. I ate three tablets and washed three.

B why do you want to eat three pieces?

This is called seeing the light from the inside out.

B This ... enema!

After the shower, there is a small door that says "dressing room". When I went to open the box, I looked at it. It is full of lake crepe, buckle crepe, flower crepe, Crick, serge, goose satin, Guanning silk and imitation satin. No coarse cloth, blue cloth, big white cloth, moonlight, gray city and light blue hair.

This poverty!

We can wear clothes, and we can't make people laugh when we wear them out.

Of course.

Wear soft-headed trousers coat, trousers coat, sweater and trousers. Put on a five-silk robe and a silk robe. Camel robe, velvet lined cotton robe, coat outside cotton robe. Wear a leather coat outside, a leather coat outside, and a vest outside. Pack a bag, wear a straw hat and a felt.

What virtue?

A: I sit on the sofa, so don't mention the old lady's praise.

B still praises you?

Answer: "It's really a man's clothes and a horse's saddle. My uncle doesn't look good without a ruler. This knife ruler-"

B did you see it?

"A bear!"

B is a bear!

"Have you eaten?" Why don't you come to your house and talk?

B ate it!

A "I haven't eaten for three days!" "

B, be brave!

He is hungry. "Give my uncle western food." This is killing me!

B what?

There are no chopsticks in western food, only knives and forks. I haven't used it either I put a knife in my mouth and broke my tongue.

B, be careful

I was about to drink water when the old lady called her mother, "Go! Send a message to the young lady that his son-in-law is back and let them meet. " This is a good opportunity. I must meet the young lady. You look good, I will accompany her to endure; If you don't look as good as me ...

So you're leaving?

I also put up with one!

B how to also endure!

What to eat here!

B saw it and ate it?

A few minutes later, four little maids came over with the young lady in their arms and pulled the damper. Wow! I see this young lady! The four beauties are so angry.

Tell me.

A smiled and boasted, hated da ji, was ill, and was drunk with Yang Fei. If you sink fish and fall wild geese, you will be ashamed of flowers when you close the moon. You'll be beautiful, with a haircut and a perm!

B How can you be poor?

A One foot is in the threshold and the other foot is outside the threshold. Seeing that I am happy first and then worried, this strength makes it difficult for me to learn!

Do you study?

"Oh! Is Mr. X back? "

B where is English here?

"Who have sinned against you? For one thing, you left, and for another, the old lady is still taking care of us. If the old lady dies too early, we have to fool you! Look at you, a passerby. It's really unbearable and shameless. I hate it, I hate it, you really hate it! "

B you've had enough trouble!

Old lady Jia said, "Don't bother, I'll settle it for you in the New Year." Chinese New Year? Eight years! The old lady put in a good word for me: "old lady, the older you get, the more confused you really become." Children come and go, don't get married, miss comes and gets sick, and don't get married. You might as well do it earlier. "The old lady said," good! Check the imperial calendar. "You check the almanac, Ding is Ding, Mao is Mao, today's day is good, just today (showing smugness)!

What are you doing?

A I changed my clothes again, wearing a red flower arrangement. Hanging lights at the gate and the second gate, worshiping heaven and earth and entering the bridal chamber. When I arrived at the bridal chamber, I saw that it was all white and the bed was a shiny satin mattress. I let the satin quilt lie down, leaning against the pillow, leaning against the pillow and the mandarin duck pillow. The young lady sat on the bed and smiled at me. I got into bed, but it was amazing!

B what?

Ashi's power is too great. Suddenly, I fell off the table, the casserole broke, the cotton-padded jacket caught fire, and my neck was trapped!

You're not married?

Where is a? I'm dreaming in the temple!