Help me find cold jokes.

Give my dream dried bean curd Ayu:

She, I fell in love with you the first time I saw you, really! I swear, I lied to you. I gave birth to a baby without a belly button and was killed by a car when I went out, but I don't think you have the heart. What can you do if I die? Today, I finally got up the courage to write this letter to you. I hope you can understand my heart. The following is a poem I wrote specially for you. Very general, but a little popular modernism. Also thought of that day, I had a bad stomach and squatted on the toilet. Barely represents half my level.

Sea! You are all water.

A good horse! You have four legs.

Beauty! Tell me how beautiful you are.

There is a mouth under the nose.

I still remember the hot weather when we met.

I am fascinated by your beautiful figure in Song Dandan.

How can I describe your impression in my heart?

Probably like a plucked white swan.

my heart

Started pounding.

The whole person is as sad as blind.

Just like the book says?

I have got on the thief car of love.

Ah! beauty

Do you love me?

My conditions are really good.

Parents are department-level cadres

I'm a fucking handsome guy.

How romantic our date is.

The dead toad finally fell in love with the old swan.

Ayu, do you feel particularly moved by the poem I wrote? You think I'm a talented thief, and I guess so. In fact, from the first day I met you, I fell madly in love with you. I quit smoking and drinking for you. I heard that these things affect some functions. I don't peek at the opposite girls' dormitory. Although it has something to do with them pulling curtains all day, it's mainly because of you. Because I found that you don't live in that building, it shows that I love you very much. Ayu, my plain talent and your super beauty, we must be an enviable couple. Even Liang Shanbo and Juliet are not as good as us. Do you think we are a good couple?

198365438+February 12, born in an ordinary worker's family. 1-When he was five years old, he didn't know who he was or what he had done. At the age of 6, his parents forced him to send him to a factory-run primary school 1 Class 2. He said, "I'm not late for school every day. The bird will see me off early." . . .

The first grade of primary school:

Take off pants in front of female classmates, and lesbians call me a rogue.

Teacher's quotation: "hooligans are not terrible, but they are afraid that hooligans have no culture!" " So you should study hard, make progress every day, and strive to be the four hooligans with "culture, knowledge and talent"! "

Second grade of primary school:

Pat a female classmate on the head!

Teacher's quotation: "Don't hit her, don't scold her, torture her with feelings!" " It is the highest level of flirting with girls. You should try to improve your flirting taste. "

The third grade of primary school:

Touching the face of a female classmate was scratched by a female classmate!

Teacher's quotation: "Love is precious, life is more expensive, green hills are there, and there is no fear of firewood!" " Remember, cherish life and stay away from beautiful women! "

Fourth grade of primary school:

Holding the hand of a female classmate was rejected, and her academic performance plummeted!

Teacher's Quotation: "There are thousands of Chinese sons and daughters Qian Qian, and none of them can be changed. What you didn't pick was just a flower in spring. The whole spring still belongs to you. Don't lose heart. You must fight and fail again and again! "

Fifth grade in primary school

If you can't flirt with female classmates, you will be molested!

Teacher's quotation: "Boys are not hooligans, and their development is abnormal. You have been molested by girls, which shows that you have a future than ordinary boys."

In the sixth grade of primary school, I was sent to Nanjie Middle School (a graduate of 40 people) in the county seat with the 38th grade, and started my middle school career.

Junior high school 1 grade, I met senior experts such as Jin Yong and Gu Long, and every day I fantasized that I was the protagonist in the book and had a pure relationship with MM in the book.

In the second day of junior high school, I returned to reality and paid attention to the beautiful women in my class (I already have aesthetic ability), but the original, shy and sinful ideas in my mind have sprouted.

It was not until the third grade of junior high school that I really realized the true meaning of Grandpa's sentence "study hard and go to school every day" (eight-character mantra, destroy people without volume). . . . Fortunately, I stopped my heartbeat in time and saved my handsome face. Crazy study, admitted to the county's third high school (there are three high schools in this county, the first two are the key. . . . . )

When I was in Grade 3 1, I used 1 of my life to write a love letter to the girl I admired for a long time, and I felt that she was a little interested in me. . Unfortunately, just when I was scared as sweet as a deer, the class teacher called me to the office and took out the love letter from the drawer. . . . . . .

When I was a sophomore, I chose a liberal arts class. The ratio of girls to boys was 4: 1, and all the beautiful women ignored me. . . .

When I was in senior three, I heard my brother next door tell me about college life. The next day, I picked up a book and began to review crazily, vowing to be admitted to the university and to "work hard, study hard and contribute to the construction" (I don't think so, universities can fall in love freely and live together illegally. . . . . Wait a minute. . . . )

There is no denying that I am a genius. Although I was not accepted voluntarily by 1, No.2 (1, filled in 3 places in Tsinghua, No.2 Peking University), I received the admission notice from XX Agricultural University. So I put my luggage on my back, jumped on the train and came to my dream university campus. I want to be a successful man when I start my college career, because successful men are busy with JB during the day and JB at night; A loser has nothing to do during the day and nothing to do at night. So, I want to be a successful person.

Da 1 Standing in front of a nude painting in the school art exhibition, he kept telling himself, "This is art, and I am aesthetic." But the excellent performance of a certain part of my body betrayed me.

The person you like is taken, and the person you like is terrible. . So I said, "I stayed up all night surfing the Internet. I went to bed as soon as I entered the classroom. I called home by phone and didn't say anything about asking for money."

When I was the only monk left in the dormitory, I finally had a formal girlfriend. In a sweet love, she wants me to be naked, and I want her to be naked. . . . . . . . . . It is true that men love for sex and women have sex for love.

My grandmother is still in the countryside. Since I was admitted to the university, my grandmother always said to me every time I went back, "The plots of land at home and this yard are all for you." At that time, I laughed at my grandmother's old age. But seeing the employment situation this year and the graduate students and doctoral students all over the street, I finally realized my grandmother's foresight and good intentions. ...

With my diploma and resume, I got something from the recruitment center that hardly overwhelmed me. I got on a tricycle, and the driver of the tricycle asked me, "Are you a graduate of XX Agricultural University this year?" I said, "What a coincidence, I am a graduate of XX Agricultural University in the 88th session, and pointed to an old man wearing shoes on the roadside:" That elder brother was earlier, in the class of 77th ". I almost fell off a tricycle.

When I got home, I watched my laid-off father repair his bike in the street. My fired mother is selling fruit. Father smokes inferior cigarettes and his hands are covered with oil. Mother's wrinkles have already climbed up her face under the wind and sun, and her hair has turned white. I looked at my parents carefully for the first time in 23 years, and suddenly I felt like crying. "Over the years, they lived like this, saving money for me to go to that damn university. And I ... people always regret when they are scarred, but the rules of the game have changed at this time, and life is like this. I left the little red book I bought for four years of youth in the corner, rolled up my sleeves and helped my father push the cart. From now on, I will pay my debts.

Women's underwear (food)

Answer: jelly (wrapped in a hole)

Bra (guess a drink and a dish)

A: Calcium (covered) milk, braised pork.

Cows and bulls are not harmonious. After breaking up, they lived with elephants. After several orgasms, they felt that the cow was well again, that is, they returned to the cow. After walking around, the cow asked, it's been several days. What has happened to me? The bull said, "You are a big cow!" "

"I can't see things too far away," the patient said to the ophthalmologist.

"Please follow me," the doctor took the patient outside and pointed to the sun in the sky. "What do you think that is?"

"the sun." The patient replied.

"Then how far do you want to see!"

The last sentence was said by the doctor. ...

I don't think this is funny. ...

But I'm drooling over your point of view.

One day, I was walking outside, and two men chased me behind me. I thought, oh, my god, this is over. I'm being followed. I just ran and ran. As soon as I saw it, I ran to Beijing-Shenyang Expressway. What if you want to run further? Suddenly I saw a graveyard next to me, so I ran over and threw myself on the grave. I said, demo, I'm back, and you're still chasing me. Scared by those two men, they ran away and disappeared. Looking back, I suddenly saw an old man writing on a stone tablet with an awl in front of him. I said, grandpa, what are you doing here without sleeping in the middle of the night? Uncle said, young man, you go to sleep first. I don't know who carved my name wrong. I'll come out and change it.

Students of Hohhot University of Arts and Sciences, I am Mr. Cao who teaches you the introduction to art! About this paper about the artistic conception beauty of China's art, in order to prevent you from copying! I have browsed the first 40 pages of Baidu search about the artistic beauty of China! I'm still browsing others! Please pay attention! Think for yourself! !

2. China students have accidents on foreign highways.

Even people and cars jumped off the cliff,

After the traffic police arrived, they shouted down:

"How are you?"

International students answer:

"I'm fine, thank you!"

Then the traffic police left and the overseas students died.

(For more information, please click the link! )

I was born in a very poor family. I remember when I was a child, my father's life was boring. I can only count money all day long, and so can my mother, who sweeps money all day long.

My family lives in the mountains, and it is very troublesome to go out to buy things every time. It takes five hours to drive a Porsche and four hours to drive a Mercedes. Although there are helicopters at home, it is difficult to find parking spaces there, which is quite inconvenient; I go shopping occasionally. My parents are afraid that I will be kidnapped and protected by more than 20 bodyguards. Everyone will scare me away when they see me, so I have been ostracized since I was a child ... because my home is in the mountains, it is very cold every winter, and my father also says it is very troublesome to go out to buy things, so there is no heater in winter ... there is no quilt ... I can only spend money with my parents to keep warm every day ... When I sleep, I can only sleep with money.

I remember when I was a child, once I couldn't run out of the room because the room was too big, and I peed my pants. So, my father put a small sheep motorcycle in my room, and asked me to rush out of the room at 1000 square meters, cross the corridor of 5 kilometers, and reach the toilet at 800 square meters in 10 minutes (I often get lost in the corridor); Dad also found someone to build another 20 simple rooms of 600 square meters and a small toilet of 250 square meters, saying, "If you get wet in the future, change rooms directly." If the room is not enough or too small, tell dad to ask someone to build more rooms. Our life is very hard, you have to bear it! " ! "Now that I think about it, dad is really a kind person! !

I still remember one time, my house was attacked by a thief, because he blew up my dad's safe with explosives, and the gold coins inside kept rolling out. As a result, the thief was crushed to death ... I feel sorry for the thief ... gold coins crushed to death, which was very painful! ! He is not as lucky as the thief who was suffocated by money before. My mother often tells me that life in our family is very difficult ~ ~ so I have developed the spirit of hard work since I was a child. My future wish is to find 200 monsters who can only eat money, eat up all the money at home and avenge those poor thieves!

My mother said my IQ was only 76. I don't know how high my IQ is I only know that I am a very lethal person. Many people have been hurt because of me. Some of them lost hope in life, and some even committed suicide. So I have always suspected that I have a potential superpower, and this superpower has had a particularly strong effect on my teacher for some reason.

I remember the first teacher who died because of me. At that time, I was in the first grade of primary school, and my teacher took us to the wild for a natural practice class. Seeing the spring breeze blowing green and the willows sprouting branches, the teacher couldn't help thinking of a question, so he asked, "Students, do you know how to tell the wind direction?" "I know!" A little girl in my class replied, picking up a leaf from the ground and throwing it into the air. "Pick up something and throw it into the air and watch it float there." "Well, that's good." The teacher praised, "Who else would like to show you again and see what wind is blowing now?" "me." I volunteered, picked up half a brick from the ground and threw it into the air. ...

"Teacher, it's blowing up and down now!"

I can't remember clearly what the teacher looked like at that time. I only remember that he struggled a few times and then died. Later, according to the hospital doctor, he died because of sudden strong stimulation, which led to retrograde qi and blood. In this way, I killed a people's teacher

The first grade teacher taught us poultry and animals.

Teacher: "There is an animal with two feet. Every morning when the sun comes out, it will wake you up and wake you up. What animal is it? "

I replied, "Mom!" Laughing so hard that the teacher almost died!

After coming home from the mid-term exam, my mother asked me how I did in the exam. My precious son said, I didn't fill in a question. Mom, what's the purpose of the question? The baby son said, there is a question: what is 3 times 7? I don't care. I filled in 15. My mother sprayed the water she just drank on my father's face. Hey ... I'm great!

My father asked me how school was. The father asked, "Dear son, is your female teacher satisfied with you?"

"Ah, yes, Dad, very satisfied."

"How do you know? Did she tell you herself? "

"Of course, dad. The day before yesterday, she said to me,' If all the students are like you, I will leave school at once!' This shows that I have learned everything. "My dad's brain will be ready soon! @#$#@! $%$#@@

One day in math class, the teacher asked 1+ 1=? , I said I don't know. The teacher asked me to go home and ask. I asked my mother who was cooking to let me out. I asked my father, who watched the ball again and shouted' cool'. I asked my sister, and she sang until the baby. I asked my brother, and he said on the phone, I will wait for you outside.

The next day, the teacher asked 1+ 1=? I said: get out of here, the teacher slapped me, I shouted cool, the teacher called me useless, and I called me mean. The teacher said, get out. I said, I'll wait for you outside. Our math teacher suffered from hypertension again on the spot and fainted. .....

When primary school has Chinese class, all Chinese teachers in the school go to listen to Teacher Ni's class. Teacher Ni wrote a word "Bei" on the blackboard and asked me, "Do you know this word?" I answered "no", so Teacher Ni began to inspire me: "Do you have a bed at home?" I answered "Yes" and "What's on the bed?" "Summer sleeping mat" "Where is the summer sleeping mat?" I replied, "My mother", and Teacher Ni thought, this is also true. My mother was covered with a quilt, and then I was inspired: "What about your mother?" "My dad". Teacher Ni didn't expect me to say this. She made a fool of herself in front of so many teachers and asked anxiously, "What about the quilt?" I replied, "The quilt is on the ground". Teacher Ni was "by me" and was hospitalized with epilepsy!

Later, a new teacher at school asked us to make sentences. I finished my homework calmly, and the teachers immediately looked at me with new eyes.

The sentence I wrote is:

Sad-the ditch in front of our house is very sad.

If canned food is not as nutritious as fruit juice.

Naive-it's really hot today. This is a good day for swimming.

Ten points-it's a pity that my sister only got ten points in the math exam.

Relax, I always start with simple things.

Ginseng-the teacher said that we should take part in the relay of the brigade tomorrow, so we must do our best.

Quilt-Xiaoyu's sanitary quilt was stolen.

Lunch-Xiaoming takes defecation as the first thing when he gets up every morning.

The teacher touched my head and said sternly, "Go home from school and strive for 10. When I got home, I was ready to finish the homework assigned by the substitute teacher when there was no one there. I went to the toilet and began to paint the walls with feces. I painted the bathroom with ten strips, and I was satisfied with my homework before I stopped. " My family came back to scold me. The next day, my mother told the principal that the substitute teacher misunderstood the child. Later, the substitute teacher was fired. Alas ..... I said to myself in my heart, "I am very creative. Ugliness is not my intention. Don't lose your temper I will live bravely and set off the beauty of the world. ! ! ! ! ! ! ! "

One morning in class, while chewing gum, I put my feet on the aisle.

At this moment, the teacher said to me, "Please spit out your mouth and put your feet in."

My brain: "@ $ # $% # $ #"

In the days that followed, several teachers suffered misfortune one after another. Fortunately, no one died and there was no big leak. But my fame spread like wildfire and I became a celebrity in the city for a time. However, celebrities also have the pain of celebrities, and I deeply realized this.

When I was in junior high school, the physics teacher asked me in physics class: You say, how to change tracks? Me: According to the Diamond Sutra, if people only do bad things in the world, they will become ghosts after death! It turned out that the teacher was talking about how the satellite changed its orbit!

I was awakened by the teacher when I was sleeping in history class. The teacher asked me, "Who did Princess Wencheng marry?"

Little Wang Sheng told me, "Songzan Gambu." I didn't hear clearly, so I opened my mouth and answered, "Song Dynasty cadres." Later, history failed.

One day, I came back from the barber shop to be cool. As soon as I opened the door, all the girls exclaimed, "Cool Brother is here!" I am embarrassed to scratch my head: "Where! Where! Just cut a cool head. " It happened that the headmaster passed by and said solemnly, "I want to pay for a trouser head!" " "Our brain is about to! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Yeah, it's nothing. I walked to the boys' dormitory and from the girls' dormitory to the downstairs. I saw a good friend and boasted loudly, Look, I got a cool haircut. On the second floor, a girl immediately put her head out and said, my waistband, you took off my waistband! ! ! ! !

The next day, the biology teacher brought a bird wrapped in cloth. Then he exposed the bird's legs and asked the students to guess what kind of bird it was. I really don't know, so I handed in a blank sheet of paper. The teacher looked very angry and asked, "Why did you hand in a blank sheet of paper?" What's your name? "When I heard this, I rolled up my trouser legs angrily and said," Now it's your turn to guess who I am? "Biology teacher immediately fell ~ ~ ~ ~

My fame has caused me a lot of trouble. For the safety of teachers, all middle schools in the city refused to accept me. No way, I went to the countryside with infinite yearning for key middle schools. Although the conditions of middle schools in rural areas are a little bitter, I still live very comfortably without the pressure of public opinion. However, gold always shines, and the unique silence of rural middle schools did not restrain my outbreak. By chance, I was born again, suddenly emerged, and quickly occupied the rural market.

One day, I was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late today?" I said, "I took my uncle's sow next door to breed in the morning, so I came late." Before the teacher finished listening, he opened his eyes wide and said, "This should be made by the uncle next door." I said inexplicably, "This must be a wild boar, and the uncle next door is not an animal."

It was a quiz, and our class was tied with another class after the final. So the host announced the way to decide the final outcome: each class draws lots to send one representative, two representatives guess coins, and ask a question that is wrong. If the wrong guess answers correctly, the wrong guess wins. On the other hand, the right class won. Spirit of heaven, spirit of the earth, my job is to hide. As a representative, I was drawn, successfully guessed the wrong coin and entered the question-and-answer stage. Teachers and classmates suddenly became nervous, and everyone looked at me with eager eyes. Teacher Li, in particular, looked heavy and said nothing. I also felt some pressure, but not because of this, but because of my opponent-Wang Xiaofo, who was the most powerful "teacher killer" in our school at that time, and he also saved several human cases. It is said that the last principal was destroyed in its hands. However, I still have some confidence, because in any case, I am also a person who has criticized. The problem begins.

Wang Xiaofo put his hands in his trouser pockets and said slowly, "My mother cooked some eggs in my pocket today. Do you know how many? " "hey!" There was an uproar around. I don't know why everyone is booing, but I know this question has aroused my great interest. Eggs! I hardly heard what he asked. I only heard the word "egg" clearly. You know, in the hard years in the countryside, there was almost nothing to eat. There are two eggs that are really delicious. I seem to see shiny egg whites and yellow yolk.

"If I get it right, will you give me a meal?" I have long forgotten what quizzes and class honors are. I'm only interested in eggs, eggs! "If you get it right, I'll give you two eggs." "hey!" There is an uproar again. I saw the other classmate's face startled, and the classmates cheered and hugged each other to celebrate the victory. Miss Li also gave me a happy look. I don't know what they are happy about, but everyone is smiling at me. I smiled shyly at them and then answered, "Is it five dollars?"

The students' smiles suddenly stopped, and gradually, the low tide generally disappeared without a trace. Another classmate suddenly shouted and laughed. Things in this world change quickly. In a blink of an eye, everyone was crying and laughing and didn't know what to do. I haven't had time to think about what is going on. The meeting was suddenly in chaos. I saw a man lying on his back, spraying blood in his mouth, and then slowly fell down.

"Miss Li!"

"Miss Li!"

It's our head teacher! I rushed there, too. I saw the teacher pale, eyes closed and unconscious. "He killed Miss Li!"

"It's him!"

"It's him!"

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Swish swish swish swish swish! ! !

Angry eyes shot at me like sharp arrows.

My eyes went blank, and a voice came back to my ear: "Duo Long! Close the door! Let the dog go! Idle people will all retreat! "

Later, it was said that Mr. Li did not die, but was seriously ill. After he was discharged from the hospital, he saw through the world of mortals, cut his hair and became a monk in Wutai Mountain, and never taught again.

Eating mutton skewers today is not good for your stomach. Go to the hospital for a check-up, damn it! This is mouse meat+gutter oil & Sudan red, 7456! I want to sue him. It also said, "What fast food restaurant is also called' Kent City'? The stinky tofu sold is fished out of the cesspit. It stinks. I was robbed by a group of flies before I ate it. As a result, the flies are all fried! "

"That' pulse prison' also wants my life!"

"'Needle Incubation' sucks!"

"I'm miserable! I went to' Krypton Addiction' to eat my stomach, and then I went to' Farmer Yiyuan' to prescribe a bad medicine. I also wrote something like' I am afraid of chaff, I am embarrassed by virtue' and said that the introduction to medicine is shit! "

"Depend,' spring Hou Bing dirty' selling' clear aluminum testicles' ate my intestines perforated, my girlfriend's chest ruptured and my lungs failed. But the guy in the hospital with the sign of' cooking loan application' said he would be fine! "

Bedroom toilet

There are six rich people, a Japanese, a Russian, a French, a Norwegian, a German and an American.

They go shopping together. Being rich, they have little to buy. Only those strange things can attract their attention. It happened that the mall was hyping the art toilet that had just entered, and all six rich people stopped to watch it.

After reading it for a while, one of them suggested, "This novel toilet is really unusual. How about buying one to try? " Because everyone is rich, and no one wants to fall behind, everyone is going to buy one.

The Japanese love cleanliness, so they bought a "super sanitary toilet"; Russians like things with texture, so they bought a "granite toilet"; The French value art, so they bought a "painted toilet"; Norwegians like wood products, so they bought a "pure wooden toilet"; Germans advocate high technology, so they bought a "computer-controlled toilet"; Americans pay more attention to freedom and relaxation, so they bought a "music toilet".

Six people happily carried the toilet home.

A month later, six people got together again at a business meeting. In the process of chatting, the topic unconsciously turned to the toilet they bought last time.

The Japanese were filled with indignation and spoke first: "I returned the damn super sanitary toilet." The instructions say that after each use, the toilet will be automatically disinfected, and the toilet seat will be covered with plastic film and sprayed with the words "disinfected, please feel free to use". But now the program is all messed up. Before I got up, it started spraying plastic film on my ass! I have now written' disinfected, please feel free to use it' on my ass! "

The Russian then complained: "Damn granite toilet, I also returned it. These people polished the granite so smoothly that they slipped and fell several times as soon as they sat on it. It's inconvenient, but their asses are bruised. "

Don't want to lag behind, the Frenchman scolded, "I also returned the damn painted toilet, and the printing quality of painted toilet is too poor." Always fading, and now the pictures on the toilet seat are running! " "

The Norwegian also flew into a rage: "damn wooden toilet, I also returned it!" What qualities? I don't know if it was inspected before leaving the factory. I also said that it is completely managed according to ISO9000. It's convenient for me to gather together, it's all wood residue! "

The Germans couldn't bear it at this moment: "The damn computer completely controls the toilet, and I want it back! I don't know what operating system to use, and it always crashes. Halfway through my speech, it began to shout:' Now the toilet computer crashed, please put on your pants and stand up, cover the toilet seat, cover the toilet seat, then open the toilet seat, open the toilet seat, then take off your pants and sit down again, and the toilet computer can be restarted. Thank you. The telephone number for technical support is 12345678. "Hum!"

Finally, it was the American's turn. He said angrily, "Damn music toilet, I can't do it unless I return it!" " It was originally said that it has 3000 songs, which can be played randomly at your convenience. As a result, nine times out of ten, the same song-home of the brave was played, which made me have to lift my pants and stand up to salute as soon as I sat down! "

Three ghosts

The three ghosts came to God and said with one voice, "I died unjustly and should go to heaven!" " "God:" I only let the most unjust people go to heaven. Tell me how you died first. "

A: "I am a cleaner. One day, I was sweeping the floor on the top of an old building without an anti-theft net and accidentally fell down. I grabbed a sewer pipe, but the sewer pipe was knocked down by some bastard. Because the building is short, I didn't fall to death. As a result, a refrigerator fell on it and crushed me. "

B: "I went to someone else's wife's house to have an affair. As a result, her husband came home and I hid in the refrigerator. As a result, it seems that the refrigerator fell from the window without a security net. I didn't die because of the protection of the refrigerator. As soon as I came out, someone fell from above and killed me. "

C: "When I came home, I saw my wife with another man from my window. When I got home, I was very angry. I knocked down the sewer pipe, threw away the refrigerator and made a scene with my wife. As a result, I accidentally fell from the window and hit my head on someone else's head and died. "

God: "You all died unjustly. Go to heaven."

The secret of the toilet

Country A has developed a water-jet toilet. Once, the emissary of country B came to country A and used their toilet, which made him feel very comfortable. So country B also wants to develop a water-jet toilet and show off to the emissary of country A: We also have a water-jet toilet! But the angel of country A will come the next day, and it's too late to make a toilet. ...

The emissary of country A tried the toilet in country B, but I didn't expect it not only to spray water, but also to wipe my ass with a towel. To understand its structure, the messenger stood up and pressed the button again. I saw two hands stretched out in the toilet with sprinklers and towels. ...

Three Little Pigs

One day, the wolf wanted to eat three little pigs. Two of the three little pigs are at the door and one is on the roof. Pig 1 and pig 2 are at the door, and pig 3 is on the roof. Who is the name of pig 1, where is the name of pig 2, and what is the name of pig 3. ) So there was a wonderful dialogue.

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig 1: Right.

Wolf: What?

Pig 1: What's on the roof?

Wolf: I mean what's your name?

Pig 1: My name is "Who" and "What" is on the roof!

The wolf asked Pig 2 again: Who are you?

Pig 2: I'm not a "who", he is a "who". (pointing to pig 1)

Wolf: You know him?

Pig 2: Hmm!

Wolf: Who is he?

Pig 2: Yes.

Wolf: What?

Pig 2: What's on the roof!

Wolf: Where?

Pig 2: "Where" is me.

Wolf: Who?

Pig 2: Who is he? (pointing to the pig again 1)

Wolf: How should I know?

Pig 2: Who are you looking for?

Wolf: What?

Pig 2: He's on the roof?

Wolf: Where?

Pig 2: It's me.

Wolf: Who?

Pig 2: I'm not a "who", he is a "who".

Wolf: Good heavens!

Pig 1? 2: "My God" is our father.

Wolf: What, your father is?

Pig 2: No!

The wolf couldn't stand it anymore and sighed: Why?

Pig 1? 2? Do you know our grandfather?

Wolf: What?

Pig 1: No, our grandfather is "why".

Wolf: Why?

Pig 1: Yes!

Wolf: What's this?

Pig 1: There is no "why".

Wolf: Who?

Pig 1: Who am I?

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig 1: Yes, who am I?

Wolf: What?

Pig 1? He is on the roof. …………

Reasons for arrest

Someone shouted, "The President is an idiot! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! As a result, he was arrested, but the charge was not "insulting the president" but "revealing state secrets"!

original idea

Someone sent a message to a friend saying, "I want to send you a red envelope!" " "He was happy, but later he was unhappy. The next page of the original text message reads: "I sent a mosquito. "