Seek classic short jokes

An old farmer went to the second floor at the request of a double-decker bus attendant, but immediately came down and said, you lied to me, there is no driver on it.

◆ Chemists put forward: "I am an oxygen atom O, and you are a hydrogen atom H. Our combination is as stable as water (H2O)." Girlfriend wrote back: "Where's the other H?"

A woman asked the farmer, "Why is mad cow disease prevalent now?" The farmer said, "If you are milked four times a day and have sex only once a year, will you be crazy?" !

◆ Mother Mouse A holds a photo of a bat: "This is my boyfriend." Mother mouse B: "How ugly!" Rat A: "But that's a pilot?"

One day, you went to buy condoms, and the boss asked, "What size?" Think about it, open your mouth and say, "It's so big."

A mother in labor asked her son, Do you want a younger brother or a younger sister? The son scratched his head and thought for a long time: if it's not too much trouble, I want a pony.

◆ Xiaojun asked Zhu Xiao: "Is pig's English a pug?" Zhu Xiao said, "Pig" "Is it you or me?" "me!" “U！” "It's me ..."

The shark looked at the windsurfer and said, "What a thoughtful reception! There is breakfast, plates and napkins.

One day, my father bought a cake for my son. Dad: Don't eat, son. Make sentences with "delicious"! Son: What a sweet fart!

★ The village woman ran to the police and said: There is a public toilet in front of the comrade. Where is the mother toilet?

★ The father met his daughter and son-in-law kissing at the head of the village. The son-in-law blushed and asked, "Do you want one too?" The father was puzzled and replied, "No, I have it at home."

★ The husband and wife went to the garden and walked to the giraffe. Suddenly, his wife's cheeks were red and her eyes were full of tears. Husband: What's the matter? Wife: I remember the way you ate Viagra, honey, you were really great!

★ One day, 0 and 8 met in the street. 0 looked at 8 without cutting, and said coldly, "Fat is fat. Why wear a belt! Hey! "

★ A leader speaks: I am a lout, and your female director knows best how thick I am. I talked to her all night last night. At first she didn't know my length, and I didn't know her depth. ...

When the warden was escorted for questioning, the prisoner said that such a bright line was at the foot of my bed, and he was so worried that he had no money. He looked up at the bank and bowed his head into the cell. Warden: I was born decades ago, but I don't have any money in my pocket. I robbed a small bank and shut it down for several years.

★ Judge: "You are going to be shot. What is your last wish? " Prisoner: "I hope to wear bulletproof vest."

★ Section Chief: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, sir! Chief: Comrades have worked hard! Soldier: Serve the people! The officer quietly told the people next to him that our soldiers were numerous. Soldier: Chief Niubi!

★ Beauty goes to buy a bed: Is this bed strong? The boss shyly replied: Of course! It was tried by elephants and hippos before leaving the factory-but in this case, you'd better pay attention!

Dave: You go out and take the dog. Do you want to show your beauty through comparison? Wife: You are so confused. Then I might as well take you out!

★ At the railway station, my three-year-old son wants to pee. The father said: pee on the railway, and the child thought about it and said: What should I do if the train slips?

★ The lamb said to the old sheep: You see how useless you are. You want meat without meat. The old sheep said to the lamb, "you are useful, but you have meat." When the wolf comes, he will look for you first! " "

★ A man slipped while repairing the roof. When he fell down and flashed out of the kitchen window, he shouted to his wife, Don't cook alone's lunch today!

★ A: Hello! What shark fin wonton? There is no shark fin in it! Wonton vendor: Sorry, my name is Zhao shark's fin.