There is a joke about paddles.

A coal seller and an egg seller fought. Everyone looked around and asked curiously why. The egg seller said, "Is there anyone like him?" ! I shouted: Eggs! "He immediately shouted:" Coal (not) sold ~ ~! ! "

3. Mom flies in with little flies to eat. They fly on a pile of cow dung. The little fly asked gloomily, "Mom, why do we always eat cow dung?" The mother fly slapped the little fly and scolded, "This unlucky child, don't say such disgusting things when eating!" " "

A woman got on the bus with her child. The driver said, "This is the ugliest doll I have ever seen." The woman said to the man next to her, "The driver insulted me!" The man said, "Go get even with him! I'll hold your monkey. "

The painter stood on the ladder and painted the ceiling of the mental hospital. A patient said to him, "Take your pen and don't let go." Painter: "I can hold it." Patient: "Then I'll bring your ladder and use it."

6. In the classroom, Amin put his lunch box in front of Ahua next to him and said, "Try my meal." Iowa scooped up a spoonful and fed it into her mouth. "Did you see it?" Amin added.

Xiao Ming's face is swollen. The classmate asked the reason. Xiaoming said, "I went boating in the park yesterday, and a bee landed on my face." The classmate asked, "Why not just drive him away?" Xiao Ming: "Before, my father killed it with an oar."

8. Three poor farmers are chatting in the field. A: I'm going to be a big official, and I will eat steamed buns for every meal. B: Then I'll eat a big bowl of beef noodles every day. C: I'm going to be an official. No one is allowed to pick up dung in the village. They are all mine!

9. One night, a classmate in the university dormitory was rubbing his eyes. Another classmate: the magazine said that rubbing your eyes might wear off your cornea. At this time, I listened to the electricity and only said to the classmate who rubbed his eyes, ah! My cornea has been worn off!

10. Two colleagues were drunk after drinking, and one of them rolled his tongue and said, What I saw was double-decker. The other man quickly took out a 10 dollar bill from his pocket and said, here is my 20 dollars.

1 1. The Minister of Family Planning went to the countryside for a census and asked the old farmer: Do you know why close relatives can't get married? The old farmer smiled with a simple and honest smile: Hehe ... I'm too familiar with it, so I'm embarrassed to start.

12. A group of people went camping at the seaside. A buddy on the road has been eating fried soybeans. Everyone was afraid that he would eat more fart and advised him not to eat any more. His answer is: after you go camping, I will fry fish for you in the sea!

13. It is said that a doctor went to a restaurant to eat, and the waiter handed over the menu. When the doctor saw the waiter's hand scratching behind his ass, he casually said: There are hemorrhoids! The waiter said politely, please order the dishes on the menu, sir.

Did you freeze to death?

1: I once took an IC card and stood in line on the bus. The person in front threw a coin, and my brain shorted out and I threw the IC card in.

2. Wear contact lenses in the morning, and as a result, open the lid and pour the glasses directly into the toilet, and then calmly pour in new nursing liquid, ready to take off the glasses, which won't last long.

My neighbor forgot his key, turned it over from my balcony, found the key in the house, turned it back, and then opened his door. What's even more amazing is that I met on the balcony from beginning to end and didn't feel anything wrong. Well, our heads must have passed through the same door.

One day, I found that my mobile phone was missing. I searched my bag and every corner of the house, but it didn't work. I sat on the ground depressed, took out my mobile phone from my pocket and sent a short message to everyone: I lost my mobile phone.

5: Once everyone was playing mahjong, and the power went out, so they lit candles and continued to play. Later, someone was too hot and shouted, "Hey ~ turn on the electric fan."

Everyone quickly advised, "No, no, the candle will be blown out.

6: On an opaque night, the tadpoles in the pond are basking in the sun!

7: My classmate XXX and I went out to play by bike. His valve core was broken, so I took mine out and put it on him. We rode home happily together.

8: I walked into a department store. Ah, it seems that people's living standards have really improved. Look at that old farmer, with a refrigerator in his left hand and a TV in his right, trotting away.

It is said that a doctor went to a restaurant to eat, and the waiter handed over the menu. When the doctor saw the waiter's hand scratching behind his ass, he casually said: There are hemorrhoids! The waiter said politely, sir, a woman works the night shift and a man follows her. This woman is scared. She passed by the cemetery and had a brainwave. She said to the grave, Dad, I'm back. Open the door. The man was frightened and ran away screaming. The woman was relieved and was about to leave when suddenly a gloomy voice came from the grave: Daughter, you forgot your key again. The woman was frightened and ran away. At this moment, a grave robber emerged from the grave and said, Shit, I delayed my work and scared you to death! As soon as the voice of grave robbery fell, I found an old man carving a tombstone with a chisel. I was curious, so I asked him. The old man said angrily: NND, they carved my name wrong ... The great fear of robbing the tomb screamed and ran away. The old man sneered, "Shit, you dare to steal my business, it's still tender ..." Just then, the chisel accidentally fell to the ground and the old man was about to pick it up. When he bent down, he found a chisel in his hand in the grass. The old man was shocked, and suddenly a voice came: "You want to die! Change my house number! ! "。 Old man, stop fooling me and get down the hill! Then a scavenger climbed out of the grass. "Damn, it takes such a big god to get a piece of iron. `