Classic old joke

1, I broke up with my girlfriend two days ago, and we agreed not to contact each other. The next day, I checked the monthly subscription of the mobile phone and found that there were 499 minutes left in the monthly subscription of the point-to-point call between us, so I sent her a short message: there were 499 minutes left in the monthly subscription of our husband and wife. Why don't we cooperate for another month and divide it up next month? She said: Yes, it can't be cheaper. China mobile.

2、? The barber cut me short hair like a dog, and then blew a button hairstyle. It looks good.

Then the barber asked me to get a perm when I was free, otherwise it would become a dog bite.

I'll go and make me cry. For the first time, I know that I can become ugly after sleeping all night.

I feel like I'll never find a boyfriend. ?

3. Two cows are grazing together. The green cow asked the black cow:? Hey! What's the smell of your grass? The black cow said, Strawberry flavor! ? Green cow leaned over, took a bite, and shouted angrily? You lied to me! ? The black cow gave him a contemptuous look and replied:? Idiot, I said grass is tasteless. ?

It is said that the leader of a delegation asked a sports reporter: What is the name of Guangzhou? Wuyangcheng? Which Wuyang is it? The reporter calmly replied:? Pleasant sheep, beautiful sheep, lazy sheep, boiling sheep, slow sheep. ? He spoke in English, and the translations of happysheep, prettysheep, lazysheep, boilsheep and slowsheep were meticulous, and the people's leaders believed them.

My classmates invited me to dinner because I just found a good job in the bank.

He asked me if the interview was difficult, and I said, don't you think so? The man asked me a question. ?

? What problem?

? Is your father in good health?

6. A boy has had a crush on a girl for a long time. One day in the self-study class, the boy finally got up the courage to write a note to the girl, which read: In fact, I have been paying attention to you for a long time. After a while, the note came back, which read: Please don't tell the teacher, I promise I will never eat melon seeds in class again! ?

7. A patient went to see a doctor for the first time. ? Did you consult anyone about your illness before you came here? The doctor asked. ? Just ask the owner of the drugstore on the corner. The patient replied. That doctor hates that people who are not doctors often give medical advice, and he doesn't hide it. What bad idea did that fool give you? He asked me to come to you. ?

8. Song Wu met Shi Jin while playing by the lake and said: Have you eaten, Shi?

Shi Jin kicked down Song Wu and Song Wu.

Pat the dust on the clothes and say, Shi Jin, what's wrong with you?

Shi Jin stepped back more than ten meters and said loudly: You told me to work hard. ?

The picture is too beautiful to think about!

My 9-year-old and 5-year-old daughters ask her father to do something for her. Dad:? Dad is very tired. Give me a compliment and I'll be refreshed again. ? Daughter:? Lao Zheng! ? Dad:? Hey! ? Daughter:? Your girl is really beautiful.

10, a tiger caught a cold and wanted to eat a panda. The panda cried. You have a cold. Why did you eat me? The tiger said that the advertisement said that if you have a cold, you should eat white and black! ?

1 1. The total intestinal area is 200 square meters. The place where we live is not as big as where we live. We might as well take a shit! Life is worse than shit!

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