Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - It is better to repay the spring sunshine with all your heart (short story - Battle of Dusk Shadow)
It is better to repay the spring sunshine with all your heart (short story - Battle of Dusk Shadow)
-1-
The massive North-South War came to an end with the victory of the Qisi Alliance. The head of the Qi clan returned to the court with three thousand troops laden with honors and war compensation. Being welcomed by tens of millions of people from the coalition forces, it is a glorious sight.
However, the achievements brought by this victory not only failed to satisfy his appetite, but also vigorously encouraged the coalition forces to strengthen their troops, kill all the spies in the army, and prepare to start another war in order to obtain more benefits.
In Winterfell, the head of the Mei family, Mei Dapao, has a sad face at the moment. He thinks of my family, which has 860,000 soldiers. Back then, we fought for each other’s wives and little flowers. I took care of these three thousand and lost them. Ji Qijia, now unexpectedly defeated by this group of Qisi Alliance rabble, felt really angry to the extreme.
Therefore, Mei Dapao ordered all the enemy undercover agents provided by his own undercover agents to be arrested and executed collectively, and sent someone to send a message to Zhuan Sanqian: Kill as many as you come! At the same time, Mei Canao stepped up recruitment and boosted morale, and sent General Liangzi to actively prepare for war in case the Qisi coalition attacked again.
However, God’s calculations are not as good as those of humans. When the two armies faced each other and prepared to launch a war, a bloody plot forced both sides, who were preparing for a war, to temporarily stop fighting.
It turns out that the undercover agent of the short story family is A Feng, the son of the current Zhuan Sanqian, and the undercover agent of the Qisi Alliance is A Fei, the son of the current Mei Dapao. What’s even more incredible is that A Feng is Mei Dapao’s biological son, and A Feng’s mother was Mei Dapao’s lover before marrying Zhuan Sanqian. A Fei is Zhuan Sanqian's biological son. A Fei's mother Xiaohua was pregnant before marrying Mei Dapao.
Both Ah Fei and Ah Feng followed their father's instructions and mixed powerful laxatives into the pre-war meals before the war. As a result, the entire enemy confrontation that started at the slightest disagreement turned into a war. A stinking shit contest.
-2-
Winterfell, plum army camp.
The angry Mei Dapao returned to the Chinese army tent holding his stomach, and fought with his own son A Feng and the generals who had followed him back after his identity was exposed to fight for the toilet for the whole night, which made everyone shed tears. The tears won't stop.
"Bring your mother, no... Xiaohua!" Mei Dapao, who looked exhausted, sat slumped on the tiger-skin dragon chair and weakly ordered Ah Feng.
"Yes, Father!"
After a while, Xiaohua was brought to the big tent where Mei Cannon was located by Ah Feng.
Facing the frightened Xiaohua, Mei Dapao felt both love and hate, and said angrily, "Your son A Fei is a talent! What a pity he is the son of Zhuan Sanqian's defeated general. Just wait. Look, I will prove to you that Ah Feng is better than Ah Fei! You should know whether I have treated you sincerely these years."
"Take it with you!"
Then. Two soldiers came in and took the overwhelmed Xiaohua down. At this moment, only Mei Dapao and A Feng were left in the tent.
"Father, a day has passed, but the situation of the soldiers is still not optimistic. I suspect that there were not only powerful laxatives in the meals before the war, but also other things that no one in the army can solve!" Ah Feng looked at Mei Dapao and worriedly reported everyone's situation to Mei Dapao.
"The war is coming, and the soldiers must not be without fighting strength. If no one can solve it, go to the pawnshop No. 12 in the ancient city and invite capable people to come over!"
"Yes, father! ”
-3-
Qisi Alliance, a specialized military camp.
Zhuan Sanqian also looked at his wife in front of him angrily, his weak body trembling with anger, "Tell me, what other secrets are you hiding from me? Is your daughter Ruhua my biological daughter?"< /p>
"Does Brother Sanqian distrust little girls so much? I was originally a good lady, but I was molested by that gangster Mei Dapao. In fact, the person I love deeply in my heart has always been Brother Sanqian. !”
“Pfft~” Zhuan Sanqian spurted blood far away and was about to fall off the dragon chair. Fortunately, his son A Fei hurriedly stepped forward to help him.
"Come here, general~"
"Report~, clan leader, there is something urgent to report!" A messenger ran all the way, panting and entering the big tent, interrupting the third person Thousands of words.
Zhuan Sanqian glanced at the ordering soldier angrily. The soldier trembled with fright and almost fell to his knees, "Quickly let go!"
The soldier looked at Zhuan Sanqian. In this posture, he immediately hunched his waist and did not dare to express his anger. "Mu Xin, the talented person from the pawnshop No. 12, has been invited! He is waiting outside the tent!"
After hearing this, Zhuan Sanqianyi said, Immediately there was excitement in my heart. Now the physical condition of the soldiers was saved. As soon as the soldiers were well, they could immediately reorganize the army, beat the drums and attack, "Quickly please!"
"Haha, the three thousand clan leaders don't have to I was so excited that while I was waiting, I had already discovered the reason for the weakness of the soldiers. As long as I mix this medicine into water for everyone to drink, their physical strength will be restored in three hours. "The visitor is 156. The year-old boy in white handed over a piece of paper with a ruffian tone.
Zhuan Sanqian and A Fei were all focused on Fang Zi, and did not notice that the young man in white glanced at Zhuan Sanqian's wife.
"Mu Xin has other important things to do, so I'll take my leave now!" The young man in white chuckled lightly as he looked at the father and son who were trembling with excitement.
"Slow down, don't send me off!"
It is said that the young man in white left the Qisi Alliance Army Camp and went straight to the Mei Army Camp.
-4-
On the second day, the two major families once again brought their armies to fight in the Land of Dusk, ready to go to war at any time.
According to the usual practice, Mei Dapao took A Feng, and Zhu Sanqian took A Fei. They stayed in the open space in front of the two armies at the same time, dozens of steps apart.
This time, Zhuan Sanqian was still the first to shout: "Mei Dapao, you are really stubborn. Our soldiers are brave and good at fighting. You were defeated in the Battle of Huangzhong. You ceded territory and paid compensation. This time Are you trying to be a hero again?"
Mei Dapao laughed three times and pointed at Zhuan Sanqian's nose: "What a joke, didn't the 166 yuan last time make you more capable when you were a kid? , Xiaohua, you can't beat me when you grow up, now I want to show you, your son is not as good as my son!"
Zhuan Sanqian seemed to have exhausted his patience and got to the point, "Mei Cannon, don't talk nonsense! Let's just say this time, Xiaohua, you won't pay me back? As long as you do, I will forget about it and return to the court with hundreds of thousands of soldiers! You! If you don’t pay back, start a war now!”
“Let’s start a war. I’m afraid you won’t succeed! However, if you dare to hurt my woman, I will lead 800,000 soldiers to conquer the south! "Mei Dapao was also very angry. There was no reason to give back the meat he got, let alone his wife. But when he thought about it carefully, he felt helpless that his lover was still in the other's hands.
After a disagreement, both parties got on their horses and prepared to leave!
"Report~"
"Report~"
Suddenly, an orderly soldier appeared on each side of the team and rushed towards them in a hurry.
Mei Jun’s messenger: “Report to my king, Princess Xiaohua committed suicide! I left a letter for you!”
Allied troops’ messenger: “Report My king, my princess… committed suicide! I left a letter for you!”
Mei Dapao and Zhuan Sanqian immediately grabbed their respective letters and opened them to read carefully.
After a while, the clan leaders of both sides returned to the army with dejected expressions, and ordered their troops to retreat. The battle ended before the war started.
-5-
The day before, Meijun camp!
Mu Xin, a young man in white clothes, wandered from the Allied camp to the Mei camp, adjusted the physical condition of the soldiers on both sides to the best, and successfully arranged an appointment with Mei Cannon's wife Xiaohua to go for a walk in the woods at night. .
It was night, the moon was bright and the stars were sparse. The boy in white and Xiao Hua met in the woods.
"Xiaohua, long time no see!"
"Mr. Mu Xin, long time no see! I know what to do." After saying that, he took off the brocade phoenix robe that was wrapped around him. .
The young man in white had a slight smile on his lips, "You women! You are so passionate, and you will do anything for the one you love!"
"Don't you know how, Master Mu Xin? ?"
The young man in white was stunned and said, "The clone that you pawned with your life and many treasures will expire at noon tomorrow. The head of the family of the previous generation has already missed you a lot because of your infatuation. I gave you two years to become a real person.
At that time, the real body and the clone will be taken back together! ”
“No problem, being able to live with Sanqian and Cannon at the same time for so many years is already a blessing that I have cultivated in several lifetimes!” "As Xiaohua said, she opened her collar, revealing the purple-black tattoo on her chest.
The boy in white stepped forward and dropped a drop of white potion on it, and the purple-black tattoo disappeared immediately. < /p>
Then they separated and returned to the Meijun camp.
The 20th day of the third period of Wujie training camp, student number 9, (No. 12 pawn shop special topic). >
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