Do you think I am such a person?

1. My sister-in-law came to my house to play last night. After dinner, my wife suddenly said that the company had something to go. After walking for a while, I washed dishes in the kitchen. My sister-in-law came over in sexy pajamas and said shyly, "Brother-in-law, I can't take a bath with hot water. Please help me. " . I had just entered the bathroom when she suddenly hugged me. "Brother-in-law, I have worshipped you for a long time, so we just ..." Hum! At that time, I broke free from her and scolded angrily, "How could you do this? Are you worthy of your sister? " At this moment, the outside door opened and my wife came in with a smile. It turns out that this is a game they set up. She has been hiding outside the door to eavesdrop. Hum, she will doubt my sincerity! How can I be that kind of person? I have been in charge of washing dishes in the kitchen for so many years. I don't know if I am missing a knife.

I saved money for one month. Today, I invited the goddess to a high-end hotel for dinner. At the end of the meal, I got up the courage to confess to the goddess. The goddess gave me a look, sighed and said, "You don't have a car or a house, so we are not suitable." Just when I didn't know what to do, a man at the table next to me stood up, walked up to me, bent down and said, "Young Master, I want you to go back after dinner and decide which Bentley to buy." I looked at the man gratefully, filled with gratitude, nodded and said, "can't you see I'm eating?" I see. " The man quickly said, "young master, I'll wait for you in the car outside." After the man left, the goddess opened her mouth wide in surprise and said, "Dear, let's get married." Then, we had a good time. When paying the bill, the waiter said, "A * * 1 1000 yuan." I said, "Why is it so expensive? Did you miscalculate? This table has the most dishes 1000. " The waiter explained; "Well, sir, you spent 1000 yuan, and your driver spent 10000 yuan."

3. Banhua comes to class in a mini skirt. I dropped my pen on purpose and bent down to pick it up. As a result, I saw a pink inside. Soon, Banhua threw me a note that read: The campus grove will arrive tonight. I went to the Woods in the evening, where there were five or six boys. Ban Hua took a boy and said, Cousin, he is the one who ate my tofu. The boy immediately surrounded me with another man and said, Brother, why are you here? I asked someone to tie Ban Hua to a tree, and I wanted to show her the true face of a man. After an hour, I looked at Banhua's pale face and felt a little distressed. I really shouldn't let her see that I popped five or six boys' chrysanthemums at once. It's really a sin to scare her.

When the old lady got on the bus, a kind-hearted young man offered his seat to the old lady, and soon the young man's phone rang. After answering the phone, I heard him say: Wife, I am on the train now and decided to go on a business trip temporarily. You don't believe it, but I'm really on the train. At this time, the old lady cleared her throat and shouted: beer, drinks, mineral water, chicken feet and instant noodles, ham sausage. Come on, young man, get your feet off me! At this moment, society is full of positive energy.

After the pig was killed, he cried and said, It's so unfair. He ate leftovers all his life and was finally killed! Buddha said: In your last life, you didn't listen to the sufferings of the people, so in this life, you grew big ears, looked down on the people, made you squint, boasted and made your mouth stand out, and sat in the office all the time, made you grow a row of nipples, and all the leftovers you usually ate and drank were wasted in your last life. Hearing this, the pig stopped crying and said doubtfully, was I a leader in my last life?