Popularize putonghua sketches

Character: A middle-aged woman (female), A, B, C and D students (male).

Woman: (carrying a bag, getting on the bus) The child is in the third grade this year, and the study pressure is like a mountain. Can't get grades up. Find a tutor to relieve my worries.

[A, holding a small cardboard that says "Tutor of Northland University"

W: Which school are you from? Kid.

A: Northland University, or Peking University for short.

Woman: high flyers in colleges and universities must be very capable! Our children study hard, but they just can't get on. Tell me, what can I do?

Don't worry, auntie. ...

Woman: What's your name with me? (Hurriedly interrupting)

Do you mind if I call you aunt? I think you are too young to call you grandma. Please look at you in this dress like a man in his sixties!

Woman: Good! All right! I don't care what your name is. Tell me first, how do you manage our children?

Well, you must study hard. The ancients hung the beam and stabbed the stocks, and finally achieved great things. ...

Woman: Hey, hey, that's the ceiling of our house. Where can I find the light beam?

That's easy. Find some wood, build a shelf, put it in front of the desk, tie a chain on it, hang a charcoal fire basin, burn a soldering iron in the basin and burn it to (child …).

Woman: Stop, are you a tutor? That's torture for * * *!

A: (Sorry) It's wrong to hit a child. You have to make the child suffer! You turn off the desk lamp first, and turn off the * * * light. ...

Woman: Hey, hey, the lights are off. How do the children study at night?

A: What's the difficulty? ! Catch dozens of fireflies, put them in plastic and hang them on the desk!

W: Where can I find so many fireflies?

A: You, isn't it enough for that child to catch fireflies for one day and study at night?

W: Why don't you study during the day?

A: Well, ... I didn't expect this ... How?

W: I don't appreciate your teaching methods. You've won!

Don't forget, grandpa. Do you want a tutor?

[A runs down and the woman walks back and forth]

Woman: Such people are completely fascists and should never be used.

[b, carrying a schoolbag, holding a big cardboard, which reads:' Peking University Tutor']

B: (Bowing deeply to the lady first) Hello, auntie!

Woman: The child is very polite. Which school are you from?

B: Aunt, look: Northern University, or Peking University for short.

Woman: high flyers in colleges and universities must be very capable! Our children! I study hard, but my grades just can't get up. what can I do?

Excuse me, your child, who is he ... who is he?

Woman: You ask, who do you think we are in Xiu Xiu?

B: Xiu Xiu! Xiu ... Xiu ... (voice trembling)

[B turns his back to the woman, faces the audience, smiles, shakes his hair, adjusts his clothes, rubs his hands, finds the roller brush from his schoolbag and brushes the dust on his clothes]

W: What's the matter?

B: (Looking back) Where did you go to high school in Xiu Xiu?

Woman: I'm just in grade two.

B: (disappointed) (happy) The next day was fine!

W: What do you mean, the next day will be fine? !

I mean the next day. I'm only fourteen or fifteen years old. That was when I was young. This is called learning, the seed of love. (Laughter) The poor grades of girls are related to the psychology of adolescent children. Girls should not be too closed, they should be cheerful and enthusiastic, and there is nothing wrong with interacting with boys. When this hazy feeling germinates from the child's heart, we must put it on the right track and let it develop healthily. I want to guide our sister Xiu Xiu. ...

Woman: Come on, we are boys from Xiu Xiu!

B: Boys! How did the boy get such a name? !

Woman: What's the name of our child? Do you care?

[The woman turns and walks, and the man catches up and stops]

B: Hey hey aunt, I can teach boys, I can teach boys!

[Both return to the center of the stage]

B: Excuse me, Xiu Xiu, your boy, does he always approach girls?

W: A little.

B: Are there any signs of puppy love?

Woman: I didn't see it.

Are you always ecstatic at the sight of girls?

Woman: Yes, that's right. I also shook my hair, adjusted my clothes and wiped them back and forth with a small brush.

B: Yes, do you think such children can learn well? (Angry) The poor grades of boys are related to the psychology of adolescent children. (serious) boys, don't be too open-minded, be deep and steady. Contact with girls can only affect learning. What are the benefits? When this hazy feeling germinates from the child's heart, we should stifle it in its infancy and never let it drift with the tide.

W: I heard that when this hazy feeling germinates from the bottom of my heart, we should put it on the right track and develop healthily. (staring at b)

B: I dare kick anyone who says that in the face! What's up, auntie? Let me have a try.

W: I want to be a tutor in our family-I don't take the microphone when I call.

What do you mean?

Woman: Hands-free!

B: Hey, I haven't left yet! [B shakes his head and puts it down]

Woman: Isn't that the kind of person who is invited to be a tutor? !

[C, wearing a coat, sunglasses and a toothpick] (on)

C: (singing) This is the best beer, cigar ... (Find the head nurse) Yo, you can grab one, (spit out a toothpick, take off your glasses, put it in your pocket, stroke your sleeve)

Woman: (holding the bag in both hands, retreating) You, what do you want?

C: (Pulls out a bigger cardboard from the back and says "Northern Xinjiang University, Family Education") What are you doing? Watch this. (Open the cardboard)

Woman: (taking a breath) Oh, I'm looking for a tutor. Why do I look like a robber? Which school are you from?