It may not be the enemy who shits on your head, or it may be your neighbor upstairs.

First, you are not a VIp, not even an Ip, you are just a.

Second, men in bars are looking for excitement, while women are mostly stimulated.

Third, take the initiative. For example, you can climb the wall and wait for an almond.

Fourth, people who hang up QQ all day these days have nothing to do but go to work, that is, people who are not loved after work.

The best thing in the world is eating and sleeping.

Six, Confucius can't solve the problem, Lao tze to help you solve.

7. Is it necessary to be big? Dinosaurs didn't go extinct as usual!

Eight, knowledge is like underwear, invisible but important.

I am young and need your advice, but I don't need your advice.

Life is sometimes like a computer. If it collapses, it collapses. It's not negotiable.

Eleven, pants off the belt, just know what is dependence.

If you want to know what despair is, buy a bunch of lottery tickets.

A white lie is a good excuse for your deception.

Fourteen, the killer of marriage is sometimes not an affair, but time.

Fifteen, I am trapped on you? In my heart, there is no intersection.

Sixteen, no windtight wall, no would beam.

You are good to me, so I can't help but want to bully you.

As a typical loser, you are really successful.

Nineteen, one sentence is better than two. I'll give it to you.

I am not a prince. Why do girls always think they should be princesses when they see me?

Twenty-one, in front of the China team, the Thai team wearing yellow jerseys also had the demeanor of the Brazilian team in a trance.

Twenty-two, there is no windtight wall, no hanging beam.

Twenty-three, love is desperate, endure everything.

Twenty-four, once you slip and become a cripple, you turn around and flash your waist.

Twenty-five, a person, don't force yourself, don't know how good you are.

Twenty-six, not everyone can live a low-key life, and the basis of low-key is to be high-key at any time.

Twenty-seven, this girl, dressed really cool, looks really hot.

Twenty-eight, Journey to the West tells us that monsters with backgrounds have been taken away, and those without backgrounds have been killed by a stick.

Twenty-nine, marriage is to wear cotton-padded clothes for freedom. It's inconvenient to move, but it will be warm.

30. Every woman who claims to be her sister is looking for a very man, and it turns out that the most man is herself.

Thirty-one, the pull ring of cans loves cans, but the cans are filled with coke!

I can choose to give up, but I can't give up my choice.

Can anyone see through my bluff and protect my vulnerability?

Don't talk to me about feelings. It hurts money.

35. It may not be the enemy who shits on your head, or it may be your neighbor upstairs.

Thirty-six, the grievances that can be said are not grievances; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.

The most contradictory place between lovers is dreaming about each other's future, but thinking about each other's past.

38. Without the courage to speak, even meeting eyes is a luxury.

Thirty-nine, long time will be divided, long time will be combined; Drinking will drive you crazy. You will drink every glass of wine.

Forty, there are so many people who despise me. Who are you?

Forty-one, for my Audi, your Dior, and our child's Oreo. Work hard! Fight!

Forty-two, don't think you are Wu Dalang, just think that Yao Ming was made by two people.

43. Extraordinary appearance is important even for wild animals.

Forty-four, the sea is wide with diving, and the drums are broken.

Tell me, do you want to die or not?

Forty-six, women like ugly men, not ugly men.

Forty-seven, countless times passed by a person, and the clothes were all scratched and there was no spark.

48. Lie down where you fell.

49. I really want to hide so that the whole world can't find me!

50. Why did Guan Yu die earlier than Zhang Fei? Answer: Beauty is unlucky.

5 1. Our love died on this day, just to give each other a chance to be reborn.

52. Walking in this street, your smile was so sweet.

53. If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then kindness is a credit card!

Fifty-four, don't say that others are mentally ill. The premise of encephalopathy is that you must have a brain.

Fifty-five, eat, I want to be thin, I want to be thin. I can't have both, so I went there.

56. Everyone is born primitive. Sadly, many people have gradually become pirates!

Losing is not necessarily an unfortunate sad mood phrase.

There is no difference between tragedy and comedy in the world. If you can get out of tragedy, it's comedy. If you are addicted to comedy, it is a tragedy. If you just wait, all that will happen is that you get old. The meaning of life lies not in holding a good hand, but in playing a bad one.

The world is really small, as if you don't know who you will meet when you turn around; The world is really big, as if turning around and not knowing who will disappear.

You said you don't want to fall in love, I'll wait for you; You suddenly have a new beginning, I am waiting for you; You're finished. Your love needs healing. I will stay with you and wait for you. I don't mind accommodating you. I can always look up at you, but you really never look at me. Do you know how hard it is to wait without response? I used to be a little grumpy, but in the end you exhausted me. Don't say I'm fine. I'm fine. Why not?

Life is sometimes depressing. We always care about what others say, dare not do what we like, and are afraid of being drowned in gossip. In fact, no one really cares what you think. Don't overestimate your position in the eyes of others. It doesn't matter if you are gossiped or misunderstood by others. Whoever doesn't talk about others and who doesn't talk about others behind their backs, you will get lost in your own heart if you live in the eyes of others.

Believe that you are blessed, but don't deliberately have it; Believe that you are strong, but don't refuse tears; I believe there are good people in the world, but we should guard against bad people; Believe that money can bring happiness, but don't spend your whole life on it; Believe in sincerity, but don't accuse all hypocrisy; Believe in success, but don't run away from failure; Believe in fate, but don't wait blindly; Believe in love, but do not seek perfection; Believe in God, but don't forget to lock the door. ...

The wonder of life is that sometimes you have to go straight ahead, and sometimes you have to make a detour. For example, when encountering setbacks, we must rise up; When you are rich, you should know that it is unknown. There is a forward world ahead, but when you climb to the highest point of your life and turn around, there is also a backward world. The mountain overlapping water flow twists and turns is worried that no way can walk, the willow green flowers suddenly appear a mountain village. I'm afraid I won't look back and walk into a dead end.

The purpose of my hard work to make money is that I just want my mother to be as decisive as buying things for me. The purpose of my efforts to make money is to make my mother buy things for herself as easy as buying things for me.

If life deceives you; Don't be melancholy, don't be manic/be gentle on sad days; I believe that happy days will come! If life deceives you, don't be sad or impatient. You need to be calm on a blue day. Believe it, happy days will come.

If you really like someone, please put down your noble face, liking someone is innocent. There's really nothing to be ashamed of. Why do you have to die to save face? Don't you feel tired of suppressing your feelings all day and being strangers to your sweetheart, or even saying hello?

The best friend is to love each other and kill each other. One second, I was thinking that this little bitch is annoying and noisy and doesn't want to be friends with you. The next second, we will go to dinner hand in hand. When she was single, she thought you were finished. You are too lazy to find a man all your life, and you have to rely on me to support you. No matter what the other person's conditions are, she is saying in her heart, eat shit and rob my woman. How can you deserve her!

What you like is not necessarily the best; The best is not necessarily the most suitable; What is most suitable is the most worth cherishing. Love, knowing, meeting, and dreams can all come true. There is nothing wrong with young feelings, like a person and love a flower. Life is only a few decades, don't leave any regrets for yourself, laugh happily. You can cry if you want. As long as you love, like and cherish, it is beautiful.

Some scars, scratched on the hands, become the past after healing; Some scars, scratched in my heart, even if it is gently scratched, will remain in my heart; Some people, close at hand, are out of life. There always seems to be unbearable pain in life. Some regrets are destined to bear for a lifetime; In life, there are always some exquisite emotional porcelain broken around us, but the cracks remain at the moment when we look back at the end of the year.

Some people say that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Indifference means that you no longer have the position of the other person in your heart and stop thinking about it. No resentment, no affection, no strength and mind to do even a little more entanglement. Everything else is meaningless.

If we really love our life, we are willing to trust our feelings. We can fly to a higher place to look at ourselves, and maybe we will be closer to what we want. All we want is pure breath, favorite performances and casual singing. It's that simple.

Some people will never know, and I will remember his words for a long time; One of his disapproving promises, but I'm trying to wait. Then, with the passage of time, it changed, but gradually faded and was forgotten. A second ago, I was full of expectation, like being pushed into the sky; Then the next second, full of disappointment, like falling from the sky …

Marriage needs another bond besides love. The strongest thing is not children, not money, but spiritual growth. This is a partnership. In the most depressed and down-and-out, he (she) straightened your spine and ordered you to be strong and stay with you to share your destiny. At that time, apart from love, there were also sincere loyalty, tacit understanding and unforgettable kindness between you.

Staying doesn't mean you still love; Leaving doesn't mean not loving. Getting is not necessarily lucky; Losing is not necessarily misfortune. As long as, after a relationship, we still believe in love, we can still love and love ourselves. People who love themselves will constantly pursue perfection and be responsible for their feelings and actions. Only in this way can we be qualified to love others and to be loved.

What you bought may be shameless.

Go to the internet cafe to surf the internet, next to a primary school student. Suddenly, he whispered to another student next to him, my father is coming, and I am hiding under the table. You sit here and block me. As a result, an uncle came, walked around and left. At this time, the child came out and suddenly shouted to his classmates, "I am hiding under the table, and you don't ask me to watch the game." All my heroes are dead. As a result, my father grabbed it back by ear. "

I want to buy a car, and my father says I have no money. I said, "Don't lie to me, I don't want anything too good, just a hundred thousand dollars." My father said, "Although I can afford a car, I still have a lot of money to spend after buying it." Me: "Don't worry, I absolutely don't want your money for insurance and car maintenance. I raise it myself. " My dad: "That's not what I said. I mean, with your skills, in case you hit a luxury car or meet an old woman ... "

There are so many liars now. I bought a pot of mimosa, and I'm not shy when I come back to touch it. Call the boss and ask what happened. The boss said, "What you bought may be shameless. . . "

Attending the wedding of a pair of black people, the host confessed to the relatives and friends in the audience: Let's all wish them a big fat man in the coming year, shall we? ? Everyone said in unison: good. . .

A female colleague of the company, single for more than 30 years. I have been employed for more than two years and have never seen her smile. She keeps a straight face every day, as if the whole world owes her something. Colleagues talk about her behind her back, and when they meet, she wilts. A few days ago, she came to the office to deliver candy. She smiled so happily, so brilliantly, so sweetly, and she was completely different. Everyone can't believe their eyes. She really married herself.

Last time, five of us went to get the jumper, but the other four didn't dare. In order not to waste, both employers and employees took it five times! Five times! If I hadn't been sent to an ambulance, I could have sat all day! ! ! !

One day I went to a restaurant with my girlfriend, and then my girlfriend began to complain about her unsatisfactory work. Just then, her girlfriend suddenly stood up and called the manager over and asked, does your store recruit waiters? Manager: No girlfriend: Are there any waiters in your store? The manager replied doubtfully: not lacking either. Girlfriend: Oh, then we have been sitting here for half an hour. Why didn't anyone say anything?

I am a little nurse. Recently, my good friend's husband had an appendectomy and went home to recuperate after the operation! ! As a result, her husband came back three days later. It is said that the wound is inflamed and the edge of the suture is a little torn. The atmosphere of the surgeon has to ask: what is this? Girlfriend husband: playing with children, children accidentally sat on my stomach! Doctor: Isn't your daughter-in-law still unborn? Where did you get the doll?

The old driver understood that the bull and the cow divorced after one year of marriage. The cow married the elephant, and then the cow divorced and chose to remarry with the bull. On the first morning after remarriage, the bull lit a cigarette on the balcony and sang a song. What song did he sing?

I used to bring a catty of white wine and beer casually, and handled more than 30 cases in one night. 15 was injured, 16 was drunk, and 4 cases were missing. Let countless people be afraid! Whether it's killing 78 degrees, or snowflakes bravely breaking into the world, do it when you are full! But now why should I quit the Jianghu and live in seclusion in the mountains? One bottle of beer fell down and two bottles of beer broke! What makes me change so much! ? Is it hatred? Or love? Pick up my mobile phone, edit "I want to invite you to dinner on May 1" and send it to my mobile phone. I will have face-to-face communication with the former Dionysus, listen to the story behind me, feel my glory and uncover the sadness behind me. ..

On Sunday, my friend asked me out to play. After dinner, my friend left early, so I wandered in the street, and then I met a female classmate in my class, who I know well at ordinary times. She joked that she wanted me to treat her to milk tea. On the principle of being a gentleman, I helped her with her bag, and she was just joking with me. I don't care. Just met her boyfriend and a group of classmates in our class at the gate of the tea shop. It was nothing at first, but I helped her with her bag, and it was still in front of the tea shop ... it was so embarrassing.

Aesthetic old saying: I am your king, but I may not be A Lang.

Aestheticism ancient style quotations

Guide: Whoever laughs like a flower, whose face is messed up, whose home country is the world, who makes the rivers and Wan Li picturesque, who abandons a stranger, has caused a sensation in the world.

1, if I throw all the strength of the world for you, I am willing to abandon my helmet and armor from now on.

2. He won the imperial hegemony and ruled the world. She waited until the grass withered in front of the grave and the bones turned into sand.

3. Whoever smiles like a flower, whose face is messed up, whose home country and world, who allows rivers and picturesque mountains and rivers in Wan Li, who abandons who is a stranger in the world of mortals.

You are just a stranger in the world of mortals, and I am just a book forgotten by your laughter.

5. Our three armed forces all whip Ma Wanli and Enemy at the Gates, just to see you smile like a flower, just to hope that you are beautiful.

6. I ask myself, I am invincible in the world, but you alone have become the biggest failure in my life.

7. If you leave, please give me a hundred years of worry-free, and allow me to be carefree all my life, ok?

8. You left my homesickness by mistake, and I wrote your name on the paper by mistake.

9. I bid farewell to prosperity, abandon the world, betray the people, betray the country, just to accompany you to wander around the world and watch flowers bloom and fall.

10, you have three thousand beauties in three palaces and six hospitals, and I am still waiting in front of the lanterns in Changting.

1 1, the monarch is the emperor, the concubine is the people, and the emperor and the people are different. How can the monarch and the concubine embrace each other?

12, who left in tears, who has no dependence since then.

13, I only blame you for glancing at me that day, which made me leave. Since then, I have been deprived of my eternal love.

14, if you love me, if I am here, I will open my mouth wide, just for Iraq.

15, what has become of the face that once smiled at me?

16, I will always be for you, an absolute beauty.

17, you are my unexpected response, my unexpected emptiness, and my endless reading of the past.

18, you are my old bald lover, Huang Tian, seven generations live under one roof.

19, you have been homesick, how can I leave?

20. Even if you are surrounded by mountains and rivers all over the world, even if the emperor thinks there is nothing to enjoy, what use will I have?

2 1, I am willing to give up the Manchu civil and military affairs, the dawn of the world, the rule of kings and the honor of the Ninth Five-Year Plan for you. Since then, as thousands of people have pointed out, I have never died.

22. Leave you a handful of yellow sand and accompany you to the world.

23. Whoever gives me a piece of mountains and rivers will get a piece of snow.

24. The world says that I am a disaster for the country and the people, but how do I know that I regard you as my life?

25. I am willing to accompany you to make a pair of bones and say goodbye to this song.

26. The most ridiculous thing in my life is to fall in love with you, get to know her, and then watch you grow old and follow Qi Mei's example and rule the world.

27. I desperately don't want to die When I woke up, I found that you thought I was in the way.

28. I am your king, but I may not be A Lang.

29. You can take away my country or abandon me forever, but you can't hurt her.

30. Give me peace all my life, and I will smile at you.

3 1. She couldn't afford to kneel that day, and he left her that day.

32. I want to use the bones of the city, the yellow sand of Wan Li, to avenge the killing of your royalty, the so-called world.

33. I laughed at your white hair turning into snow, and you laughed at my rickety back and bad teeth.

34. Once you danced with me, but now you abandoned me.

35. I am not the one with picturesque eyebrows, and you are not the boy in white.

Thank you for giving me a HongLing to get rid of it and forget the past.

37. What's the harm if I can let you stay with me and abandon this country?

38. Even if 3,000 people are pampered in one body, they will not miss you very much or love you very much.

39. I will kill anyone who stops me from loving you until the corpses are everywhere and the world is red with blood. Wan had better stop objecting.

40. It's a waste of time for me to spend my childhood with you, but in the end, I still can't get your lantern hanging high, your wedding dress hanging high, and the 3,000 prosperous hidden moon mirrors in Xia Hong.

Editor's note: I'm not the one with picturesque eyebrows, and you're not the boy in white. I will kill anyone who dares to stop me from loving you, until the corpses are everywhere and the blood is stained with the world. It is best not to object.