A five-person sketch script with few lines needs 1~2 minutes, and the good 50 points are yours.

Man: Call it out. "Mom, I know, is to blind date. Don't worry, the shoes are polished and you can see them in the mirror. Don't panic, I'll call you if I need anything. " Hang up the phone. Facing the audience: Alas, it is not easy to be a parent. Let's just say that my mother nags in my ear every day, like a monk chanting. My child is in his thirties and almost ready to accept her heart. Mom, it's not that I don't want to accept my heart. I used to be young and high-eyed, and I didn't like others. When I was old, I looked back and found that those were all mothers. Alas, the most irritating thing is that a group of friends around me used to drink and play cards together. Now, they either wash diapers at home or soak milk powder at home, leaving me alone. Isn't online dating very popular recently? Today, I made an appointment with four women online to go to Eternal Teahouse for blind date. I can't believe I can't find one. Oh, look, these women are really stupid. They haven't come for more than twenty minutes. Forget it. Have a cup of tea first. Man: Waiter. Waiter Waiter: What can I do for you, sir, sir? What can I get you? Man: Have a cup of tea. Waiter Waiter Waiter: … What kind of tea do you want? What kind of tea do you want? What kind of tea do you want? Man: Longjing. Waiter, waiter, waiter:: no, no, no. . . Man: Tieguanyin. Waiter, waiter, waiter:: no, no, no. . . M: Pu 'er. Waiter, waiter, waiter:: no, no, no. . . Man: Iced black tea. Waiter, waiter, waiter:: no, no, no. . . M: This can be done. Waiter, waiter, waiter:: This really doesn't have this really doesn't have this really doesn't have this really doesn't have this really doesn't have this. . . . M: What kind of tea do you have here? Waiter Waiter Waiter Waiter:: We only have chrysanthemum tea. We only have chrysanthemum tea. We only have chrysanthemum tea. We only have chrysanthemum tea. . . . M: Just one kind. Why do you ask? Come on! Waiter Waiter Waiter Waiter:: OK, OK, OK, please wait a minute, please wait a minute. . . . Waiter Waiter Waiter: ((Pass two cups of tea with a little water, pass two cups of tea with a little water, pass two cups of tea with a little water, pass two cups of tea with a little water)) Please enjoy your meal. . . . You are, you are, you are, you are here for a blind date, for a blind date, for a blind date, for a blind date, for a blind date, for a blind date, for a blind date, for a blind date, for a blind date, for a blind date, a waiter, a waiter: I want to talk, I want to talk, I want to talk, you are more than one. You dated more than once, man: How do you know? Waiter, waiter, waiter:: Do our job, do our job, do our job, watch, watch, watch. . . . M: You're right. I had a crush on a female classmate in junior high school and wrote her an anonymous letter. Waiter, waiter, waiter:: How did she react? How did she react? How did she react? M: She is very excited. Waiter Waiter Waiter Waiter:: Good, good, good, good! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! then what then what then what Man: Then she called the police. Waiter, waiter, waiter:: Why, why, man: Because I cut large and small fonts from the newspaper and spelled them into a sentence. Waiter, waiter, waiter: I have been paying attention to you for a long time. . . Waiter, waiter, waiter, waiter::: I'm very keen. It's strange that people don't call the police. It's strange that people don't call the police. Man: But don't tell me there was a girl who wanted to die for me. Waiter Waiter Waiter Waiter:: Really really really really male: Of course it's true, she said, I'd rather die with you! Waiter, waiter, waiter, waiter:: Now I know why you always fail. Now I know why you always fail. Now I know why you always fail! ! ! ! Really? Then tell me. Waiter, waiter, waiter: this relationship, this relationship, this relationship, the most important thing is to be able to talk, the most important thing is to be able to talk, and the most important thing is to be able to talk. . . . Man: All grown up, who can't talk! Waiter, waiter, waiter:: Don't say that yet. Don't say that yet. Don't say that yet. . . . For example, for example, for example, when a girl asks you, when a girl asks you, when a girl asks you:: Am I beautiful? Am I pretty? Am I pretty? What's your answer? What's your answer? Man: I took a look, and then ... waiter waiter waiter: no! ! ! ! Can't look, can't look, can't look, can't look! ! ! ! Never look, never look, never look, just say beautiful, just say beautiful, just say beautiful! ! ! ! Man: Oh! I didn't see it. You're good at this. I have an appointment with several other people. Can you give me some advice? Waiter Waiter Waiter Waiter Waiter: Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. . . . M: no problem. M: Also, here is my phone number. If there is anything special in the middle, just wave and call me. Waiter, waiter, waiter:: OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK. . . . (Woman on stage ...) Woman 1: What age is this? I have to ask my colleagues to introduce me to a blind date. I can't help it Who told me to divorce my husband? Hello, are you Miss Lily? Woman 1: Yes, you just chop and change? M: Nice to meet you. I heard you got divorced? Female 1: Oh, yes, I tried to make my husband a millionaire, but he abandoned me. Man: Then he's outrageous! What did your husband do before? Female 1: He used to be a multimillionaire. (Woman's phone rings) Woman 1: Sorry, answer the phone. What is it, son? Can't adjust the set-top box? Why did you tune that? See if you are the one? What are you doing with that thing? Go play the piano. How can this child be so disobedient! How's this? If you want to play the piano, mom will give it to you 10 yuan. How's it going? What? Don't play. Aunt next door will give you 20? Play! I will give you 50! Well, that's a good boy. By the way, wash your dirty hands before playing the piano. Why not wash it? Only black keys? Wash your hands if you only play black keys! (female 1 continue to teach the child) female 1: This child is outrageous (thunder): Go on! M: Huh? Female 1: Oh, sorry, I'm used to it. Woman 1: Hey, what brand of perfume do you use? It smells good. Man: Six Gods. Female 1: What brand? M: You don't know such a famous brand? Six gods, six gods! Female 1: toilet water? (Disdainful) What sports are you best at? Man: Does fighting count? Female 1: Even if you win! What about you? What sports do you like to do? Female 1: I do sit-ups. Lie on your back at night and sit up in the morning. M: I can do the same. For more than 30 years. Female 1: Which school did you graduate from? Male: Beijing Vocational and Technical College. Female 1: The name is easy to remember. Do you like reading? M: Of course I like it. Female 1: Then who is your favorite writer? Man: Lao She! Female 1: Which of his works do you like best? Man: The Legend of the Condor Heroes! Female 1: It seems that we have nothing in common. How can it be? What do you call this? Woman 1: teacup. Man: Oh, honey, what a coincidence. I also call it a teacup. Look how much we have in common! Female 1: What do you think of my figure? M: A little fat. Female 1: I hate being called fat. M: Actually, it's not very fat. Female 1: I hate duplicity. M: (sweating ~) What do you hate most? Female 1: My ex-husband thinks I am fat and says I have no waist. Man: He's talking nonsense. How can he say that I have no waist when I am so thick? Female 1: Hum, what look! ! (Women leave together ...) Man: Hey, don't go. Attendant: Ah, love is like two people pulling a rubber band, and the injured party is always unwilling to let go. The man sits down with his mouth on one side of the handle and drinks depressed tea. ) Attendant: Why do you drink tea like this? M: You don't know. It's more sanitary, because most people don't use this place when drinking tea. Attendant: Another guest had tea like this the other day. Man: You see, he is also afraid of getting infected with bacteria. Attendant: No, because he is ill and afraid of infecting others with bacteria. The man was choked by the water, so he quickly put down his glass ... Go on. Woman 2: I'm just a little late. If I don't keep the man waiting for more than an hour, I will still be called a beauty. (taking out the mirror to fix my makeup), chop and change? Man: Hey, who are you? Woman 2: I'm Sister Su from Dongmen. Man: Sister Su? Oh, it's too brittle. I said, Sister Su, your screen name is really accurate. If someone sees you, his bones will be brittle. Woman 2: Really. M: Yes. Woman 2: I think you are the same as in the photo. M: I think you are different from the photos in the space. Woman 2: What's the difference? Man: You look better than in the photo 100 times. Woman 2: What do you think is the most beautiful about me? Man: You see, it looks so beautiful from head to toe, with white skin and thin waist. When you walk, you swim like a fish. Is a man who drools at the sight of you. Woman 2: Your mouth is so sweet. Man: Kong Ziyun: My mouth is watering when I eat fragrant cakes. You are so beautiful that my mouth is very sweet. Sister Su, I think you are late. Is it far from work? Woman 2: Yes, in da li. Man: It's so far, Li. What do you do? Woman 2: Close your eyes and I'll tell you something. M: Oh? Close your eyes? Is it? Hey, hey, okay, okay. Woman 2: I'm a makeup artist. I have been working for ten years. M: Ten years. It's amazing. Makeup artists earn a lot of money. Marrying this woman is like holding a gold ingot. Sister Su, I have a friend. I want you to help her make up? Woman 2: OK, but why did your friend die so young? M: Huh? My friend is getting married, please help me make up. Woman 2: I'm a makeup artist in a funeral home. I really haven't put on bridal makeup. M: Funeral home makeup artist, not for it. . . . . Woman 2: Don't worry, this brush is for the afternoon. Man: God, my face is going to rot. Woman 2: I'm just kidding. Don't be afraid. Come here. Let me ask you some questions. How many girlfriends have you had before? Man: (in front of the audience) How dare I lie in front of her? (to woman 2) Hong, Dan, Jie, Aru Woman 2: Don't men have good goods? Eat what's in the bowl and look at what's in the pot. Man: ouch, my head hurts a little. Woman 2: What's wrong? Let me feel your pulse. M: You can also feel your pulse. Woman 2: My grandfather is a veterinarian. I think people have the same pulse as cats, pigs and dogs. Why are you so crazy? The man waved to the waiter behind him. ) man: it's a phone. My mobile phone is vibrating. Hey, what's up? My grandfather is in hospital. Very serious. Is it a heart attack? Ok, I'll be right there. Sister Su, your conditions are really good, but today is really unlucky. You just heard it. The phone called and said that my grandfather had a heart attack and was in the hospital. Very serious. I think we should take a rain check? Woman 2: What are you pretending to be? I've seen more dead people than you. I don't need to do this. If you don't like it, just say you don't like it I thought I liked you very much. You'd better not fall into my hands. Otherwise, if I melt you, Yan Luowang will not accept you. Man: There must be no date today. This blind date almost brought my grandfather in. I wonder what the third one is like. Baby boy: You did a good job just now. If the situation is wrong in the future, you should help me solve it immediately! Waiter, waiter, waiter: no problem, no problem, no problem, look, look, look, look, look. . . . Waiter, waiter, waiter:: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. . . . (woman-in-law, woman-in-law, woman-in-law, woman-in-law, woman-in-law, woman-in-law, woman-in-law, woman-in-law, woman-in-law, woman-in-law, woman-in-law, woman-in-law, woman-in-law, woman-in-law, woman-in- There seems to be a way. You are right. When two people are together, you should tell the truth and be honest with each other. If you have any questions, ask her. Woman 3: How much money do you have in the bank? M: Go to the bank to get more and save less. Woman 3: Is there an official in your family? Man: Officials, the foot of my bed is so bright. Could it have been frosted? Look up at the moonlight, hehe, my father's name is Li Gang. Woman 3: True Man: My dad's name is Li Gang, hehe, but on the Internet, Li Gang and I are two people. Woman 3: Your father's name is good. Man: Hehe, it's a good girl. 3: What a hammer. How many apartments are there in your house? Woman 3: I will live with my parents after marriage. Man 3: I think living with our elders will take care of us. Woman 3: Do you have a BMW? Man 3: Nanny, when a child is born, he needs a nanny. Woman 3: Who is talking nonsense about nanny? (striking table) I'm talking about BMW. (Turning to leave) No room, no car to close. (Walking back to get my mobile phone that I left on the table) I lost 24 yuan by taking a taxi (throwing the water in the teacup at the man) Man: My Lamborghini is worse than BMW. Besides, I have a villa with over 20 rooms, and my parents are not enough for you to live in. I don't believe it. Woman 3: Look, it's so hot today, and the air conditioner doesn't turn on, which makes you sweat, man. When doing business, I mortgaged the villa and the car, and there was no liquidity. (The woman is stunned, and takes back her hand to wipe the sweat. Fortunately, someone set up a fund with me later. In less than a year, my company went public. (The woman opens her eyes with a smile and hands the man a cup of tea. However, the stock market is risky. Later, my stock kept falling like a belt to lose weight. The woman froze again, and the action of handing tea froze. Confucius said, "Fortunately, it is misfortune, and misfortune depends on it. Although the stock fell, Bill Gates of Microsoft asked me to cooperate, but not much. He probably gave me 500 million working capital to do business (the woman smiled and held up the cup again and handed it to the man, who took it). Woman 3: Big Brother, it's really hard for you to earn this 500 million. M: What's the trouble? Woman 3: One night. Man: Half a catty of white wine, three ounces of peanuts, and then take a nap. Don't say 500 million, that is, 10 billion has women. 3: You are dreaming. Man 3: Yes, you had a good dream. Man 3: OK (the woman pours all the water in the cup on the man's head) Woman 3: You are out of your mind. So you still want to pursue a big girl blind date. Your skull is caught in the door panel. You can't afford to go home and hug a pillow. Man: This woman only knows copper coins and smells like copper. I won't give you money, let alone I won't. Answer the phone: man: "mom, alas, stop it, these women are crazy." "It's okay, mom. Ask a few more questions next time and there will be a match. . Ok, that's it, hang up! " (Off the stage) The waiter chases the waiter chases the waiter chases the waiter chases the waiter:: Gnome male-female, Gnome male-female, Gnome male-female, Gnome male-female, Gnome male-female, Gnome male-female, Gnome male-female, Gnome male-female. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ((Go on, go on, go on)