The housewife secretly sighed: Why don't we have confidence?

Comment on a video about Tik Tok, which is a fragment of the TV series Gui Wang and Anna. Anna is preparing for the college entrance examination after resuming it, and she has been pregnant for five or six months. She wants to induce labor and prepare for the college entrance examination. Wang Gui doesn't support her, and neither does mother. She is very determined and sad.

My comment is: Anna will go to college even if she abandons her children and family for the college entrance examination. Years later, she will still regret it. Life is like this. One day, she suddenly found that what she once cared about was actually not that important, but what was really important was abandoned by herself.

This comment gained more than 600 praises in a few hours. Of course, there will be objections: is it wrong to stick to your dreams? Why do you have to give up for your family and children? If a child's life is colorless, how can he have a wonderful life? People should live for themselves, and everyone is an independent individual, not a dependent relationship; Life is to have an ideal and go all out for it, otherwise it will lose the meaning of living. Career is always important for women, otherwise it is easy to be betrayed by the family. ...

These comments make me feel sad.

And these comments are basically from women. Why is it so similar to my idea when I was twenty-five years old? I used to be like this, angered by ideals and reality. I always thought that my unfulfilled dream was not the right time. Then I realized that I would never achieve it in my life. This is a fact.

So after the age of 30, what I dislike most is people who talk about hard work all day. They have a bunch of theories that tell you the importance of hard work. For example, don't complain that your circle of friends is full of advertisements, which means that your friends are very motivated, which is better than dissatisfaction with women; Women must have their own careers. Yesterday, I was ignored by you. Today, I want to make you unattainable. You laughed at my embarrassment to make money. I thought it was difficult for you to eat without a man ... and there was a saying from the originator: don't let your child lose at the starting line.

Do you see it? These high-frequency quotations for pyramid schemes to do WeChat business have really washed many people's brains. And what kind of values should this society convey in our time? Is it right or useful?

I don't know, as big as a country and as small as a family, which is more important, development or happiness? In order to develop the economy, we take the environment as the cost, and for the prosperity of the family, we take time and children as the cost. Will this result be equivalent after ten, twenty or one hundred years?

We ordinary people don't have to worry about this important proposition. For families, everyone's thoughts are concerned about the direction of a family. I think if I were Anna, I would never give up the baby in my belly to pursue my ideal.

Am I complacent and not motivated? I always feel that life is always above everything else. I can suffer for my ideals, but I can't kill myself for my ideals. And her eldest daughter, what's wrong with her, being forced to be a single parent for her mother's ideal? We can pursue our own ideals, provided that we are independent and don't trip over or hurt others.

Others say that if a child does not have a wonderful life, there will be no wonderful life. So, all social elites also come from elite families? Is Li Shuangjiang's life wonderful? How can you raise a son like this? Is Yu Xiuhua another poet brought up by a wonderful life? How long will these fallacies poison us? How many people unconsciously become business value ambassadors! These thoughts rooted in your heart are the biggest investment of business society. Are we just quietly advertising soft articles for business?

Sometimes I want to speak out loud, but I am often ridiculed: if I don't make progress, I don't make progress. How can you rely on business? Are we brainwashed? I think you are out of society. You are stupid to take care of the children! This is the development trend of this society. If you don't try to get close to it yourself, you will be left behind by the big times!

So I shut up again.

Yes, this is indeed an era when the economy is king, and we are all forced to move forward by the rolling torrent of material desires. And we take it for granted that it is right to put economy first and material first. I don't think so. Take the family as an example. How many hostesses think that women must have a career? When a woman has her own career, she has the capital not to be abandoned or derailed; If a woman stays at home for a long time and is out of touch with society, she will be rejected if she has nothing to talk about with her husband. So it's Luo Zijun's fault that I was abandoned by Chen for the first half of my life? There is nothing wrong with Chen being unfaithful and abandoning his wife and children. Blame Luo Zijun for not making progress and deserve to be abandoned?

I can't figure out what logic this is.

Intellectual, intelligent, like Ma Yili, never cheated? Still during the second child's breast milk. Do we blame Ma Yili for having children, raising children, having no time for romance and neglecting articles?

We really need to face up to the thinking of this era. It is deliberately arranged, wrapped in a gorgeous secret coat and passed on to everyone's brain to achieve a certain purpose. This confusion of black and white values not only poisons our generation, but also poisons our children and the whole nation.

Show Lo, a time management master who was hotly discussed on the Internet some time ago, has a good girlfriend Zhou Yangqing and a good family. Judging from their vibrato videos, they are also like-minded. Stopped Show Lo's chaotic private life? So, what is wrong is wrong, and we don't have to forget another thing. Is this different from the feudal society's inability to have children?

Since our times are progressive, we should not only make progress in economy and science and technology, but also keep pace with the times, be a man and be ourselves. Otherwise, there will be no progress.

How many women, especially housewives, are regarded as vulnerable groups by others, and they are not valued. Housewives seem to be synonymous with incompetence. And some housewives themselves see it this way: I live by others, I am not excellent, and I have no career. I can only feel inferior; When arguing, I will think that I have to suffer this injustice because I have no financial ability; I'm not as glamorous and confident as those who have careers, but I just can't compare with others.

What I want to say is that if a woman's value can only be proved by her career, it can only show that this woman is really incompetent. On the contrary, if it is not for economic reasons, being a housewife is a career that everyone is trying to do. A greater cause! There must be a bar owner running out and saying contemptuously, I'm not what you said. My family has more money than I can spend. I just want to have my own career to prove my value! I know such people. And why do you use your career to prove your worth? Can't find your own value at home? You can't educate children? You can't stand the monotonous life day after day? You didn't sacrifice for the person you love? Are you afraid of being cheated?

Only you know why you really need a career. Do you need money, or do you even have the courage to prove that you are loved, respected, or even abandoned as a housewife? As I said, whether a woman is abandoned is not measured by whether she has a career or not. Even the goddess Ruan is doomed to be abandoned.

We really don't need to keep proving ourselves. We can see for ourselves what kind of people we are. There is always a place in this world that belongs to everyone. Don't worry, don't panic, housewives are far more noble than those who give up their children for their careers. Not everyone has that spirit of sacrifice, and we don't need to be so discouraged. We eat with confidence, dress with confidence, and spend with confidence, which we deserve. A man thinks he is raising you, which is his cognitive mistake! We don't need to feel inferior.

Furthermore, housewives make great contributions to family stability. The most stable family structure is that men are in charge of the outside and women are in charge of the inside. Healthier than the elderly and more suitable for children. Therefore, unless it is for economic reasons, there is really no need for women to say that they are afraid of connecting with society and pursuing their careers. Women, as long as they choose to get married and have children, can't have the best of both worlds, which is determined by women's social attributes. You can be unconvinced, provided that you are not the general public and you are an alien.

There are also wonderful discussions about life. What is a wonderful life? Is there an inherent definition? This is a subjective question, and people have different opinions. Some people are rich in material things all their lives, but they may think that a plain life is a luxury. Some people seem to have a successful career, but their children don't live up to expectations. In the end, she felt that her life was a failure without a clear focus. So how to judge whether life is wonderful is never the simple side that others see.

Everyone has his own highlight moment, and when he is sad, only he can feel how he lived. Happiness or sadness is your own. Some people are good at camouflage, knowing that their lives are a mess, their children are mediocre, they are heavily in debt, they can't work in the fields, and they often get into trouble, so they have to continue to pretend in front of others. Think of a worse neighbor's child to comfort yourself. People will continue to gild their faces and their children. Anyway, she knew that no one would go to her house to investigate. Only she knows whether she is tired or not.

And some people never express their status. Live your life silently. Don't laugh at others and don't belittle yourself. No matter what it is, it's not good. There is no need to whitewash it. Self-deception is really not a good game. One day, I will find myself a joke in the eyes of others and I don't know it.

So I feel wonderful is wonderful, and I feel that life is dull. Who stipulates that no one likes a dull life? Isn't Tao Yuanming's pastoral life very dull? Is it the highest realm of life pursued by many people in ancient and modern times? And who stipulates that you can't raise a child with a wonderful life? Is there a necessary connection between the two? Everyone is his own, and his own life is up to him. Children feel that a dull life is his lifelong desire. Then I supported him and was glad that he found his goal.

Therefore, I feel that a life of peace of mind is beautiful and has nothing to do with material things. If all things that belong to inner feelings need material participation to feel wonderful, it is inner emptiness, not anything else. After 80, we should cultivate our minds after going through one level after another, and we should not pass on the idea of material supremacy to the next generation. We have come here like this, so we should calm down and think about it. Are we happy when we are born in this era?

Fortunately, after all, most people like it, and most people still think that human nature is greater than all external things that decorate our lives after all. In this way, we need not worry too much.