20 13 network classic qq funny dialogue

My buddy and I went to the flower and bird market and bought a hamster. My buddy told the boss to buy a hamster.

The boss said: buy two and give it a girlfriend and a companion.

The elder brothers were anxious and cursed: I don't have a girlfriend. What kind of girlfriend does the beast want?

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There are two wonderful flowers in the dormitory.

One has five towels, namely headscarf, towel, body towel, foot towel and fart towel.

The other one has only one towel, wiping hands, face, head, feet and even table.

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Go out to exercise with my boyfriend in the afternoon.

After walking less than 500 meters, he shouted tired.

I had to get rid of him and go by myself.

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I went shopping with my girlfriend who just started talking and saw my ex-girlfriend.

Jealousy, hugging current girlfriend, kissing, being slapped by current girlfriend.

After a while, I received a short message from my ex-girlfriend: hahaha.

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Walking into my son's bedroom this morning, my son hanged himself!

There is a suicide note on his bed, which reads: I can't accept people's endless comments on me anymore.

I immediately put him down and looked at it. Fortunately, he was still breathing.

My son slowly opened his eyes in my arms. I said angrily to him, your criticism is wrong!

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When I was a freshman, I failed geography.

The geography teacher was furious: 40 points in the blank, but someone only got 10, 20 points? After only ten to twenty minutes in the exam, stand up and copy the paper ten times!

At this time, my deskmate sighed: I almost got 2 1 that time.

Just as I was jubilant, a buddy in the back also sighed faintly: Me too, almost, I got 9 points in the exam.

My deskmate and I collectively petrified.

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Part-time job in supermarket in summer vacation.

A guest came in and asked, how much is that red plum?

Four and a half dollars.

So what?

China is 45 yuan.

He resolutely took out 45 yuan.

I respectfully handed a pack of Chinese: I knew it was the big boss at a glance!

He said impatiently, cut the crap and buy one for four and a half dollars!

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I passed the breakfast stall in the morning and heard a conversation with God.

Boss, a bowl of Regan Noodles, more onions, more peppers, more vinegar, more sesame sauce and more noodles.

Miss, just ask for two bowls!

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1, experts appeal, toad can sleep naked without barking;

2, experts do not call, toad does not call, the problem is not big, wear underwear to sleep;

3. If the toad cries, but the experts don't, they must be fully armed and ready to escape;

4, toad, experts rumor, immediately ran out.

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2020 Network Classic Funny Quotations

1, there is no way out but to take the bus.

2, people can not lower their noble heads, except when picking up money.

3. There is a kind of person who only does two things: you succeed and he is jealous of you; You failed and he laughed at you.

At that time, my girlfriend and I were looking for information, and suddenly a window popped up, which was very yellow and violent. Let's turn off the lights quickly.

If people live by eating, that meal is not called rice, but called feed.

6. Flowers often don't belong to people who appreciate flowers, but to cow dung.

7. People who can earn 200 Jin of pork a month are barely white-collar.

8. I am too beautiful to die.

9. My brother described the hygiene of his dormitory like this-"I don't want to open my eyes when I go back to the dormitory! ! ! "

10, roses are cheap enough to give to your wife.

On the wrong road, even running is useless.

12, I think I should go to lose weight. Last time I donated blood, I actually shed 100 ml of lard.

13. My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I didn't have a chance to interrupt her.

14, there are many thin people, and fat people are eye-catching.

15. Fairy tales are beautiful because they are told by children.

16, life is so beautiful, but I am so grumpy, which is not good, not good!

17, I look so abstract, there is still spring. What are you afraid of?

18, can talented people like us be handsome?

19, girl, you know not only the world, but also globalization! But girl, you must not dominate!

20. If one day my sister becomes cruel and crazy, please tell others that my sister is a lady.

2 1. Time flies. It was dark as soon as I got up.

22. Apprentices who don't want to betray their teachers are incompetent.

23. My biggest dream: I can go to heaven alive.

24. There must be a road in front of the driveway, and I can't stop it.

25, boast that you are a bird, you really think you can fly.

26. If you are sensible, please eat steamed bread. If you don't understand, treat it with your fists.

27, a pair of wings, you want to braise in soy sauce. ...

28. The salary is dead. If the salary is worthy of going to work, you have to go to work less.

29. Try not to quarrel if you can.

30. Don't tell ghost stories at night, because people love to listen and ghosts love to listen.

3 1, fart, suppress bad heart. Don't push, exercise.

32. I am a thin man. I can count my ribs when I am sad!

The most painful thing in the world is to wake up after a good sleep.

34. There are no women who can't marry men, only men who can't marry women.

35. Does it itch? Itching is right. When the wound is growing, so are the nerve endings.

2020 network classic funny sentences

20xx network classic funny sentences

1, it doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.

2. Whoever loves you again in the future will get a slap in the face. If he doesn't fight back, then he really loves you.

3. The geography teacher asked: What are the four oceans? I replied: pleasant goat, beautiful goat, lazy goat, boiling goat.

4. Bed rest is the minimum respect for weekends.

If you don't remember me, I'll give you melon seeds with big ears. Let you remember me forever.

6. As the saying goes, people are jealous of talents, and it is better to be stupid.

I really miss being a child. I can go shirtless like a man when it's hot!

8, skipping classes, is a person's carnival. Class is the loneliness of a group of people.

9. If I die, don't forget to install an air conditioner in my coffin.

10, the three things I fear most in my life, the first fear of death, the second fear of illness, and the third fear of dying if I get sick.

1 1, three points are doomed, seven points depend on hard work, and ninety points are at the teacher's place.

12, never argue with the same fool, because in the end, you will never know who is a fool.

13, eating life is like a train. To sum up, shopping-eating, shopping-eating and shopping-eating.

14, every time I see a couple, I will sing the song "Happy Break-up, I wish you happiness".

15, a woman in the new era, went to the hall, climbed over the fence, fought for a mistress, and beat a rogue, but she couldn't get out of the kitchen.

16, if you don't want to answer my phone, just say so. Don't always let others move around to help you tell me you're sorry.

17, heartless, can live a hundred years, have a clear conscience, not tired.

18, just like a bitter gourd, dressed so cool and looks so shabby.

19, don't think you are rare, but judge things by rarity.

20. In this fickle age, the best way to make others remember you is to owe money and not pay it back.

2 1. Fart is the unyielding soul of the food you eat.

22. I used to be young and energetic, but now my youth is gone, so am I.

23. I said happily: I planted my boyfriend in the field in spring, and I forgot this crop in autumn.

24. There are no fat people in the world, and there are many thin people, so there are fat people!

25. I often wake up from my dreams because I had a hungry dream, a hungry dream.

26. I said to the mirror; Mirror, mirror, am I the most beautiful person in the world? The mirror is broken.

27. Have you seen Water Margin? The story of Tang Priest's master and apprentice being caught up with Liangshan by Jia Baoyu.

28. People who like me are good people. People who don't like me are bad people. Nobody hates me.

29. I counted my fingers and found that I was missing in your life.

I took your promise to feed the dog last night and found the dog dead the next morning.

3 1, the loneliness that no amount of water can be drunk.

32. That on my brother's face is definitely not acne, it's called youth.

33. Teacher, after you approve Laona's gauze, you are Laona's person.

34. The first guy who knows that milk can be drunk, what did you do to the cow?

35. Every dormitory has one who grinds his teeth, one who talks in his sleep, one who snores and one who sleeps late.

36. You don't need too many good friends. Two is enough. Someone is willing to lend you money. He asks you for a debt, and the other party is willing to kill him.

37. If anyone bullies me in the future, I will carve his name on the wood and light two white candles. ...

I can resist anything but money and beautiful women.

39. You talk to him about civilization, and he gives you barbarism; You reason with him, and he plays rascal with you.

40. Why have I never seen a ribbon float when I eat Dove? Why can't I see a big piece of beef when I eat Master Kong?

20 19 network funny sentences

1, asking what the world is like will only make people die unsatisfied.

Don't think that you can scamper for a few more days just because you are younger than me. The coffin is filled with dead people, not old people!

Although the bird is small, it plays all over the sky.

4, after hearing what you said, a sense of superiority in IQ arises spontaneously.

5, breaking up is boring, we have the ability to play divorce!

6. I stayed in a nervous crowd for a long time and found myself normal.

7. exams are like porridge, they will burn.

Although I can't promise to love you until the seas run dry and the rocks crumble, I promise to love you until I rot.

9. This world: Don't die, just wait for death!

10, many people think they are thinking when sorting out their prejudices.

1 1, look at the black cat sheriff's child, you can't afford to get hurt.

12, this kind of thing, don't rush to the waist, rush to the chest.

13, get on the thief boat and follow the thief.

14, I am not a good person, I don't accept your good cards!

15, if you are a wolf, sharpen your teeth, if you are a sheep, sharpen your legs.

16, MLM is the grass beside the nest that rabbits eat specially.

17, everyone said that my sister was beautiful, but in fact it was all made up.

18, the women's university changed eighteen times, and the more it changed, the more casual it became.

19, went his own way and broke up with Ai Bing.

Before I met you, I really didn't realize that I had a problem with judging people by their appearances.

2 1, look at a temple from a distance, and look at our alma mater, with more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 old roads.

22. Brother, can you lower the resolution on your face a little?

23. Next, I'll show you a unique stunt handed down from my family. A big stone smashed your chest.

24. I'm sorry that my sister is so straightforward and can't say what you like to hear.

25. One misstep makes a romantic figure through the ages.

I feel sorry for your uncle.

27. Maxima is very common, but Maxima's mother is not common.

28, so shameless, so heartless, your weight should be very light, right

29. Good people are set off by bad people.

30. My brother looked down, not because he was afraid, but because he was looking for bricks.

3 1, the world is so chaotic, who are you pretending to be innocent for?

32. If cutting my hair means cutting my memory, will I lose my memory if I cut my hair?

Don't say sorry to me, because we are all fine.

34. When I saw your expression, I felt that your parents were not serious when they made you.

It's a long way to Xiu Yuan, so let's take a taxi.

36. Brothers are brothers and women are clothes. I'll strip anyone who touches my hands and feet.

37. I left with my eyebrows drooping, just like making a face.

I don't agree with you, but I will defend to the death my right not to let you speak.

39. After having a heart and a face.