Joke _ Original

1, the school suddenly caught love, and the dean called us to the auditorium and told us the reason for the governance: "I patrolled the other night and caught a couple in the garden. Do you know what you are doing? " Some of the students below said they were flirting, while others said they were kissing. The dean said, "No, I'll tell you! In the middle of the night, your senior is holding two apples, a pair of red candles and a stick of incense in a small pavilion, worshipping heaven and earth! Scared me to death! "

2. In the evening, my 3-and-a-half-year-old son lies between my wife and me, ready to go to bed. The son said, "Mom hugged me to sleep!" " "I teased him:" Mom hugs you, where's Dad? " The son immediately turned around and said seriously, "Fuck you! "

3. I remember that after the college entrance examination that year, I knew that I didn't do well in the exam, so I told my father truthfully that my exam results were not ideal and so on. The father said helplessly, "If you don't, just repeat it." At this time, the grandfather sitting on the side said angrily: "If you don't take the exam, you won't take the exam. What poison should I take? " ! "

4. A gentleman sang rock and roll at the top of his lungs in the dormitory: "I want to change, I want to change greatly …" A gentleman who was reading a book suddenly looked up and asked in surprise: "Isn't the toilet empty?"

5. One day, Xiaoming's father took Xiaoming to dinner. When he arrived at the restaurant, Xiaoming's father said to the waiter: fried chicken, braised fish, stewed mushroom soup, pork elbow, spiced meatballs … none of the above, just two steamed buns. Waiter and Xiaoming: Your sister. 6." 1 10? Somebody please. Something is wrong! ""Hello, what's your emergency? " "Both girls want to associate with me and fight!" "That ... this ... this ..." "Come on! Ugly is going to win! ! "

7. In Chinese class, the teacher asked, "Quantifiers can't be omitted at will sometimes. Which student can give an example? " Xiao Qiang immediately replied, "For example,' He gave me a gun'. If the quantifier' zhi' is omitted, my fate will be different! "

8. An old farmer is hoeing in the field. A crow flew over and took a shit and landed on the old farmer's face. The old farmer looked up and cursed: "Cao, you mother! I don't know how to wear shorts when I go out! " The crow said, "Cao! You shit and wear underwear

17, son: "Dad, there is a poor old uncle outside. He has been shouting outside, so dad, can you give me two dollars? " I wanted to give it to him. "Dad:" Good boy, you will pity the old man when you are young. Commendable. This is two dollars. "Dad:" Oh, by the way, what's the name of that old uncle? "Son:" Ice cream, one from 2 yuan! "Come on!"