A little joke to relieve tension

In the unit's toast, a leader said, "I wish you good health ..." Hold your breath, and there will be no more words. Once I booked a hotel for my boss and wanted to ask if there were any services such as free internet access, but I couldn't figure out how to say it, so I asked him, "Do you have any special services here?" "The other side:" What? Special service we are a regular hotel! " -__-! ! ! ! Third, the old four in the dormitory got out of bed and looked for slippers for a long time. No, I asked everyone: Where are my slippers? 4 shopping, suddenly my friend exclaimed: "Wow! Virgin bookstore! "I was frightened. I looked up and saw a plaque with four big characters-foreign language bookstore-_ _! Once I went to buy mutton kebabs, I stretched out four fingers and said to my boss, "Three mutton kebabs. "How much did the boss get?" I held out three fingers and said "four" ... Our general manager's surname is Zhou. I was driving as soon as he called. When I get nervous, I say, "Premier Zhou ..." 7 My name is Zhu, and I manage the computer room of the unit. Someone once called my mobile phone: "Director Chicken, are you in the pigsty?" "At that time, I yelled at that guy and lined up in the canteen. I heard a boy next to me say, "Master, a bowl of bullet cauliflower soup! ""(Porphyra and egg soup) Haha, I laughed so hard that I sprayed soup. One day, I was slow and hungry in a rice noodle shop, and finally I couldn't help but slap the table and growl. I was going to say that if I didn't go to the rice noodle shop, I would lift the table! The result said, "Boss! ! ! ! I'll eat the table without rice noodles! ! ! ! "After the whole store was silent for 3 seconds, the audience burst into laughter ... ashamed ... 10 My parents quarreled, and my dad said angrily," I'll get you out! 1 1 High school plays basketball. After getting the ball, A selflessly passed it to B, and B scored easily. After a while, B got the ball and A shouted to pass it to him. B throw the ball yourself. As a result, A shouted angrily: I was really blind just now ... The audience was dizzy with laughter. 12 I was impressed that the monitor of primary and secondary schools was extremely serious. ! ! ..... 13 When the whole class in the university was silent, we asked a buddy how Manchester United was. He said excitedly: "Manchester United lost and Beckham got two yellow boards!" "14 Don't work in porcelain without a golden hoop. 15 when I was in college, a teacher gave a lecture and talked about a new type of material, saying, "The sexual function of this material is incomparable with that of the old material ... Oh, no, the performance and function ..." 16 just went to college for military training. The company commander didn't know where the accent came from and shouted the password-""Drill to the right! " 17 when I was in college, I heard a girl order: master, stir-fry a plate of hot and sour potato shreds, not potatoes! 18 When I was a sophomore, our Chinese teacher was an old teacher who had just transferred from Nanchang to Beijing. He has a strong accent. His son is attached to the Department of Architecture of Tsinghua, which is also the purpose of his coming to Beijing. He is very proud of his son and always tells us about his son. Every time, he said, "My moth (son) is from the Department of Frog (Tsinghua) and Toad (Architecture). A colleague asked me yesterday. How to write festivals? I replied: add a festival section under the grass prefix and remove the grass prefix! All the staff burst into laughter! I haven't reacted yet ~ ~ ~ ~! When I was looking for a job, the examiner asked me when I would graduate. I wanted to say 2000, but when I got excited, I said, "Two thousand years ago. . 。” What's more, the examiner sighed and said, "Confucius' student. "Just started school 10 minutes, I raised my hand at the same table and said, teacher, I want to go to the toilet. The English teacher said unhappily: How old are you to go to the toilet? I have a classmate who has been reviewing the computer level 3 exam. One day, while playing football, another classmate took the ball to the bottom line and only heard him shout: Enter! Get back in the car! I remember once buying a fruit called Elizabeth. I opened my mouth and said, boss, how much is Shakespeare? The boss stayed on the spot for 24 hours. The physics teacher said, "It's a thick spring. I pushed it from both ends to see if it was getting thicker (constipation). " ,