Joke Collection Website - Public benefit messages - Humorous and witty sentences_Humorous and witty language sentences
Humorous and witty sentences_Humorous and witty language sentences
People with a sense of humor always tell classic jokes to make people laugh. Below I will share with you some humorous sentences. Come and enjoy them with me.
? Humorous sentences
1. Is there a person that you once thought about like crazy, but now you try your best to forget it?
2. Only those who endure hardship can drive a Land Rover, and young people who do not work hard can only drive a Xiali.
3. I wish I could grow old with you by accident.
4. Sister is often imitated, but never surpassed.
5. "There are many strange things in this small world. If the pig is happy and brilliant, your sorrow will be far away. Read this message carefully and laugh out loud."
6. Words A girl was extremely ugly and was kidnapped in a car by a group of robbers one day. When he got to the car, he saw this beautiful woman and asked her to get out of the car. His daughter said: "You have robbed me. You must marry me alone." The bandit leader said: "Sister, we were only wrong. Here is the money from today's robbery. I will give it to you." The girl refused, and the bandit said: "Please, don't do it all. You get down, and we will surrender." The girl still refused, and the bandit leader gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: "I don't want the car!"
8. The Billboard selected Faye Wong as the Best Female Singer of the Year and Liu Yifei as the Best Actress of the Year. Gaddafi was unhappy: I am also of the "Fei" generation, why didn't I win? Where is the prize? It is said that anyone who reads this message and does not forward it will be sold to South Africa to work as a laborer. Have you transferred it?
9. There is a sentence that has been stuck in my heart for a long time, I have never had a chance to say that I have been lingering at your door, looking at you from a distance and paying attention to you. During this period, I have suffered and struggled. I decided to tell you my inner suffering today: Leader, last time You reimbursed the invoice for the meal! How about you treat me tonight?
10. Please write a love story. Requirements: Romantic and concise, with a sad ending. There is no word limit. A classmate wrote: Men, I love you, women, get lost.
11. Archimedes said: Give me a fulcrum, and I can move the earth. ?You said: ?Give me a cowhide and I can blow it to the sky. ?I said: ?Give me a BMW, and I can sell it at a good price!?
12. I want to be your eyes so much that when you walk at night, I will close them tightly and let you I want to be your tongue so much that I want to be your tongue. When you enjoy the food, I will shut down and make you greedy to death. I want to be your mouth so much. When you confess your love to her, I will be silent and make you worry to death. Maybe I can’t do this. Yes, but I am still confident that I will amuse you to death by sending a message. I wish you a happy smile!
13. Save money as hard as you can! My wife wants money, my lover wants money, I want money, and my son wants money! It’s not everything. It’s impossible without money! It’s no wonder that in Journey to the West, living Buddhas need money when they go to learn Buddhist scriptures. May the God of Wealth grant you more wealth.
14. If you ask me how deeply I love you, how much I love you, my feelings will not change, my love will not change, the moon represents my heart, I will sleep with your name on my pillow, and hold you in my arms. Sleep sweetly with you, warm and fragrant - my dear gorilla.
15. My dear, let me tell you my dream! When I have money, I will buy two houses. I love one house and can’t live in it, but I can’t live in the other house. When I have money, I can’t live in the other house. Buy two cars, one to drive and one to tow; when I have money, I will give an iPhone to someone I hate, and let the courier employee smash the iPhone in front of that person; when I have money, I will marry you , the financial power is entirely entrusted to you.
16. If the message I send you has one word, you will be perfect this year. If the message I send you has one word, you will have a perfect year this year. If I give you If you send a message of more than three words, you must be lucky this year. If I have said this and you are still checking the numbers, you should take a good tutoring in mathematics this year
17. There is only one thought in my mind : When I eat, I have only one goal in my mind: to treat you, and I silently make an appointment with you: together, I hope you will show off your talents when paying the bill. Haha, please be humorous: accept it, and send you happiness: every day.
18. A true warrior is not afraid when faced with blood; a true wise man is not panicked when faced with numerous difficulties; a true brother is willing to be your woman when you need a woman!
19. What I hate the most is the kind of person who only replies "Oh" when receiving my message. What I fear the most is the kind of person who deletes my message immediately after receiving it. What I like is the kind of person who looks at my message and giggles. What I admire the most is the kind of person who forwards my message immediately after seeing it. Dear, what kind of person are you?
20. Brother Monkey, have you never heard the heavenly singing voice of sister Chang'e, or have you not appreciated her graceful dancing in all kinds of styles? Walking into the Moon Palace, the pigs are intoxicated, and even the air is so fragrant. That feeling is refreshing! Humor Funny language sentences
1. The donkey and the horse have known each other for half a year, and the horse finally mustered up the courage to confess to the donkey: My dear, marry me, I will be good to you all my life, let me kiss you How are you? The donkey refused and said: I'm sorry, my mother said: the donkey's lips are not the horse's mouth!
2. What is the difference between jumping off a building and jumping off a building?~~~~~~ answer. The floor is: ? Bang! Ah. ?The floor is: ?Ah~~~~~~Bang!?
3. We would like to inform users that the function of binding mobile phones and bank cards has been activated, but due to network problems, some users cannot use it normally. Function, in order to test the function, please go to the nearest large supermarket to purchase items. When paying at the checkout counter, take out your mobile phone and swing it at the card reader a few times. If the lunatic asylum car arrives after a few minutes, it means that you have not successfully activated this function.
4. In view of your appearance, you look like yourself from the front, Guo Da from above, Huang Hong from the left, and Zhao Benshan from the right, so everyone affectionately calls you "Four Unlikely". Haha, may you always smile.
5. I heard that Apple’s mobile phone has many functions that we have never used. After painstaking efforts and frugal savings, I bought an Apple mobile phone. I couldn't hold back my excitement when I took it out to fumble around in the store. I asked the salesperson while I was playing and watched the salesperson impatiently introduce the functions. , I was smart and said that I knew this function. After that, I chose airplane mode and threw the phone out. Then I saw the cold sweat on the salesperson’s face~~~Then~~
6. You say you are sad, and I will comfort you; you say you are disappointed, and I encourage you; you say your back is sore, and I rub it for you Rub; you say your back is itchy, I’ll scratch it for you; you say your tooth hurts, I’ll pull it out for you! It’ll give you a lot to do!
7. Xiao Ming was kidnapped and forced to reveal his bank card Password, the kidnapper held an electric baton to torture, Xiao Ming said with a solemn expression: I won't tell you, and I won't look at which school I graduated from. The kidnapper asked: Which school? Xiao Ming said: Xiamen University! The kidnapper smiled sinisterly and said: Do you know which school I graduated from? Xiao Ming asked: What school. The kidnapper laughed and said: "It's from TV University! It's a happy moment, I wish you happiness."
8. My thin body still wants to hit you hard, hit you hard, and it will feel uncomfortable if I don’t hit you. I finally vented my explosive power. ?A sneeze? I finally made this comfortable sneeze. My friend, missing you is like this sneeze, it won’t flow freely if it doesn’t come out. My friend, I miss you so much.
9. When we were young, we were two childhood sweethearts. I would sing and you would dance with me. I could sing 200 songs and you could dance 200 dances, so people affectionately called me Erbai Ge and you Er. Hundreds of dances.
10. "When you receive this text message, please look around immediately. Do you find anyone looking around? Like you, he is looking around with his mobile phone. If so, please say hello to him on my behalf. If he also says hello to you, then he must have received the same text message as you; if not, then the only person I want to wish you is you, I wish you a happy New Year. "
11. Happy New Year. I haven't received any message from you, I feel very sad. My heart aches when I think about you. I cut my veins with a banana, hit my head with an egg, and hanged myself with noodles. But even if you don't die, you can treat me to a meal and forget about it until you die.
12. Ever since I ate gutter fried dough sticks, my stomach has cramped, my intestines have gone crazy, and my walk has become unstable. Ever since I drank leather fresh milk, my heart has stopped beating, my lungs have stopped breathing, and my blood has become blocked. , Fortunately, there is a styrene wood bed. After sleeping on it for a night, the pain is gone, the worries are gone, and the life is in danger. I wish you a happy smile!
13. Although they have loud voices, they don’t dare to have bad tempers. When I saw the iPhone, I hid in the corner. When I met HTC, I was as obedient as a cat. Nokia didn’t dare to mess with it, and Samsung didn’t dare to touch it. It couldn’t compete with Motorola, and Lenovo didn’t grab the market. Who said we were domestically produced mobile phones? I can’t go abroad for a walk
14. "Wife: Husband, give me money. Husband: Money is not the problem, the problem is lack of money! Wife: Then buy me a diamond ring! Husband: Diamonds are forever , one will go bankrupt! Wife: Then I’ll find another one! Husband: That won’t work! One mountain cannot accommodate two tigers, unless there is one male and one female. Wife: Oh my god! Why did I fall in love with you! Husband: Ask the world. What is love? "
15. One day in geography class, the geography teacher asked me: What are the four oceans of the earth? I replied: Teacher, you are wrong. It should be the five oceans, which are Pleasant Goat, Beautiful Goat, Lazy Goat, Boiling Goat and Warm Goat!?
16. Not all dads are caring, such as stocks? Dad, play with money to death, not all mothers are kind-hearted, such as Huang Shiren's mother, who drives the poor to death, not all text messages are to send blessings, such as my text message, I must Sending you joy, I wish you happiness!
17. A woman bought a new bed. Because she lives next to a train station, the bed made noise every time she passed the train. I called after-sales service for maintenance, but I couldn't hear any noise. The woman said that I could hear it when I was lying on the bed. After I just lay down and passed the train, the after-sales service said that there was no sound. The woman lay down even if she didn't believe it. Just after she lay down, the woman's husband came back and said angrily: "What are you doing?" The after-sales service said: "Brother, I said I was waiting for the train, do you believe it?"
18. If you don’t play for one day, you will get up early and early for two days. It seems to be over. Don’t be impulsive. Leave some vitality. It will make you sick and difficult to cure. Just rest and play again at ten o’clock! Online games, ?play? You didn’t negotiate! I wish you happiness!
19. "My dad, every time he comes into my house and sees me playing on the computer, he will ask: Are you studying? If I am watching an American TV series, it is you. Are you learning English?, if I'm browsing Weibo, it's "Are you writing a novel?", if I'm reading text messages on my phone, it's "Are you reading on your phone?" I wish all parents in the world happy every day!"
20. Brother, you haven’t got a job yet! I just recently found a position that is very suitable for you. It is tailor-made for you. I have already signed up for you, and you are going to work as a cook in Xiang Yu’s military camp. Your responsibilities are Those who carry buckets and fetch rice are called bucket men for short! Remember to go to the interview. After seeing this text message, I shouted three times to the sky: I am a rice bucket! You have traveled to Xiang Yu’s military camp. I wish you good luck! Funny and humorous classic jokes
1. I like your big head the most Your eyes are so clever and cute. I like your soft hair the most, it is so smooth and shiny. I like your voice the most, it is so crisp and sweet: Meow meow meow. If you are happy, remember to forward it with your soft little hands. My message
2. Eat well in the first month, don’t lose weight in the first month, have piles of meat in the first month, have few people to chase you, have a lover in the first month, sit at home in the first month, get fatter in the first month, have low self-esteem in the first month, and have no weight in the first month. Measurements, the rest of the month is miserable.
Are you still reading text messages? Go lose weight quickly!
3. I remember when we were in school, everyone called you "Pig". The number of times you called you was too much, and you felt unbearable. Finally one day , when a classmate calls you a nickname again, you explode: I am not a pig!
4. If one day we are sailing together on a boat, and suddenly encounter a violent storm, and you are involved In the sea, I will risk my life to save you, otherwise the cash you carry will be wasted. I wish you a happy smile!
5. The leader chooses couplets for the unit. The first line: Baijiahei guarantees no rest on Saturday; the second line: Wu plus two does not guarantee Sunday rest; horizontal comment: work hard and work hard! I wish those who read the text message will put more pressure on themselves and get more money.
6. A certain recruit camp, squad leader: Hua Jun, why are your quilts always worse than Dou Bing’s? Hua Jun: Report, Dou Bing made tofu before joining the army, but I made Hanamaki before joining the army. Steamed buns.
7. What is happiness? Happiness is when cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Ultraman fights little monsters. But for me, happiness is about raising you to be fat and healthy, and then Slaughter it, haha, little piggy!
8. Your fatness and my thinness make you account for most of the weight in the balance of our friendship. You are tall and I am short. , let us be in the vast sea of ????people, you always look back to find me, your liveliness, my introversion, let us communicate intimately, you are always talking and I am always listening, when will we be able to live together? On the stage, you only make money and I only spend money? I wish you a happy smile!
9. When you are passionately in love, you promise each other to marry each other in the next life; after getting married, you often complain that it was a bad relationship in your previous life. . Tell me, are we the city gate building facing the theater building, or enemies who never get together?!
10. In this season of growing spring, cats are looking for partners, and dogs are looking for lovers. Now, even pigs have their own significant other. What about you, my dear? You haven’t found the lover of your dreams yet, right? Then you are really worse than a pig or a dog.
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