Joke Collection Website - News headlines - Funny jokes with pictures in the circle of friends (3)

Funny jokes with pictures in the circle of friends (3)

Funny jokes with pictures in the circle of friends 1. May you have wine, meat and girls in the future. Girls are ugly and indecent.

I warn you, don't giggle at me when I'm unhappy, because I want to laugh when you laugh, and I'm embarrassed, you know.

Someone told me that Fujian people can't tell HF apart, so I slapped him when I went up. Why not get married?

4. Five principles of summer vacation: 1, don't ask me about my grades. 2. Don't ask about my grades. Don't show off your achievements to me. Don't pretend to be modest in front of me. 5, don't cry with the results that others can't touch and say that you didn't do well in the exam. Thank you for your cooperation.

5. I am a buddy! He studied as a nurse in college and went to school that day to report to their class. The scene is simply terrible. All 80 students, 79 women, so he became the flower of their class. Sometimes drinking together often laughs at his huge harem! Until he came back to the classroom with a black face after being beaten outside, the whole class was boiling! So after class, I was surrounded by 79 girls and went out to find a venue! Can you imagine a black-faced man fighting with a group of women? Seventy-nine girls beat eight boys, and that scene made the gods cry! From now on, we will never laugh at him again. This TM is a man's dream!

6. quarreling with my girlfriend, she turned to leave in anger, and I immediately yelled: face, stop! ? She's lost: Long legs, say it again if you have seed. Let me say it again. What's the matter? Water snake waist! ? You're not human, ABS! ?

7. Your cheeks are reddish, like a pig's head swaying in the wind.

8. Save water, please take a bath together.

9. Friends, before confirming that she is your girlfriend, taking her swimming has three advantages. 1, look at your figure, you can't hide without many clothes! 2. Look at Su Yan. In the water, any concealer and foundation cream will disappear. When she learns to swim, she won't ask, who did you save first when your mother fell into the water with me?

10. I go home by subway every night, but every time I take the subway, I feel very sad and lament the quality of China people. Every time someone shouts loudly, they don't hide it, and some people play pop songs and revel in them. The most hateful thing is, there are couples who are affectionate like no one's watching, regardless of our feelings in single dog. Seeing this, how can I still be in the mood to eat my stinky tofu! A funny joke that makes people laugh.

1 1. Many people ask, how did you choose to give you 10 million to betray your best friend? For 10 million, I still choose my friends, all of whom grew up naked. After so many years, Pony, Lin Jian and Uncle Gates, who forgot to make friends, can't let the copper stink defile our friendship!

12. Several people are in the golf locker room. A cell phone rang for a long time, and a man pressed the hands-free button. Woman: Honey, are you in the club? M: Yes. W: I saw a BMW with less than 2 million. M: Yes. Woman: And that property has been put on the market again, 60,000 yuan. M: Yes. Woman: I love you so much. Man: I love you too. The people next to him were dumbfounded with envy. The man hung up and asked, whose mobile phone is this?

13. The kidnapper calls:? I have your wife. Within 24 hours, it will be 1 10,000, or I will kill the ticket. ? Husband:? The money is all right, but can I give it to you in a few days? Robber:? Why? Husband:? I want to be quiet for a few days. ?

14. My colleague coughed and mistook the medicine for cough medicine. At noon, I saw this product and said loudly: This medicine is really fucking effective. Cough pulls my pants. I dare not cough now. ?

15. During military training, the whole grade was in a playground and the place was tense. Our instructor told us to turn left for a while, left for a while, and right for a while in order to find the right place. After a long busy day, my classmate couldn't bear to say, Are you playing with snakes?

16. I heard that girls wearing bras to sleep will affect their chest development, so I personally took off my deskmate's bra in math class today. I did it for her own good. I wonder why she hit me. Hehe, you deserve a flat chest for life!

17. Teach a new skill. If you don't feel full when you go out to eat, you can eat more than half and then turn around and go out. After a while, the waiter will take away your bowl, then you can go back and ask for your food, and then cycle endlessly until you are full?

18. Sometimes there must be something in life that really bothers me all the time.

19. Did Yue Lao use my red thread to knit long pants?

Funny jokes with pictures in the circle of friends

1. I hope all girls can marry love, and I will marry He.

When I was fat, I didn't abandon people who were kind to me. I took a small notebook and wrote it down. I will definitely repay you when I lose weight.

You must find two types of wives, one is my type and the other is my type.

When I was born, God asked me whether I should have a good memory or be beautiful. I have forgotten the answer at that time.

5. Since? Grass? The word is gradually abbreviated to? Hey? And then it got harder and harder to look straight? Smile? This idiom is gone!

I received the most precious birthday present in my life, probably because my mother gave me a life on my first birthday, and I still use it.

7. My parents have been married for so many years and have been cheating on each other. Isn't that the day my mother told my father? Look at your son. ? Father was dissatisfied at that time and sneered. Hehe, your son is no better there, just like a monkey. ?

I dated my ex for three years, and one day he suddenly broke up on the grounds that he fell in love with someone else. I cried. I fell in love with someone else and didn't break up with him. How could he do this!

9. I accidentally left my mobile phone in the taxi. Fortunately, the driver's master actually unlocked it and called my friend to inform me to get it back. I asked the driver: I unlocked it through face recognition. How did you open it? The driver said:? I just opened Roy's poster. ?

10. One day, when I was not very busy, a buddy asked me to write a wedding invitation for me. After writing for a long time, I feel a little wrong, but even if I look at it, I can't see anything wrong. At this time, my brother's daughter-in-law came to have a look and said, Can you change the groom's name? It's impossible for us. . Me. . .

1 1. If you don't adapt, I can serve you.

12. In the dark and windy night, a woman was walking alone on the road. Suddenly, a strange man stood in front of her with a dagger. The woman trembled with fear, but she listened to the man's speech politely: Sister, can you give me some money? Have pity on me, a poor man who has no job and is starving! You see, the only property I have now is this dagger! ?

13. My girlfriend sent a photo of lunch on WeChat. I asked with concern: Do you eat steamed bread at noon? Girlfriend: Nonsense, people eat steamed buns. Me: Steamed bread? Why are there no wrinkles? ! She: I took it with beauty, and the wrinkles are gone!

14. A friend went to KFC to buy a hamburger, told the waiter that he didn't want salad, so he took two pieces of garlic and put it in. The waiter said no, he said yes, and then took a few out of his pocket. Everyone was stunned!

15. What can I give you? You don't lack anything. I'd better send you away. Attractive humor space. Tell me about it.

16. As we all know, children usually cry when they get an injection. But I have seen a wonderful flower pressed by doctors and nurses on the hospital bed, shouting: Hey, what are you doing? Why are you still doing it? Let me go, beast. Beast?

17.? Mom, don't worry, you have to believe that there will always be someone waiting for me. ? Yan Wang?

18. A female netizen said to send me a photo of Zhang Zhenren. I was so excited that I opened it. Damn it, it's Zhang Sanfeng.

19.? What is the most local behavior you have unintentionally done? I always thought the charging treasure was disposable. How much did I throw away?

20. I helped my friend a little. He said, Thank you. I'll invite you to dinner another day! ? I waved and said, you're welcome. You have spent a lot recently. Save it. It would be better if I invited you. ? I don't want him to take out his cell phone and say, what day? I'm going to make a memo so that I can be prepared. ? Damn it, I don't follow the routine ~ >>& gt More exciting next page? Pictures of funny paragraphs in friends circle?