Summary of "Grassroots Women"

1. Every woman must be awake. If she wants to live well in this world, she can only rely on herself, fight like men, and create her own life with her own hands, because life doesn’t care at all. Whether you are a woman or not, I will never treat you well just because you are a woman.

2. When looking for a partner, women should stay away from men with poor spirits and choose men with rich spirits. They should be responsible for their own lives, make progress in a down-to-earth manner, and respect your independent personality.

Choose a man who is upright, kind, positive and healthy, who has the ability to renew himself even though he is materially poor, and create a life and grow together with such a man in a down-to-earth manner. A man with a rich spirit will be very confident. He will create social value and realize personal value by competing with the strong to show his strength.

If not, stick to singleism.

Loneliness is a normal state of life. Loneliness is a state of mind, not a form of life. It does not mean that if you are in a certain form of life, such as having a husband and children, you will not be lonely. A busy and noisy life will not alleviate your loneliness. There is only one way to drive away loneliness, which is to enrich your own spiritual world, have things to do, have expectations, have dreams to pursue, and be the king of your own spiritual world.

3. There is no direct causal relationship between love, marriage, and childbirth.

From falling in love to getting married, both parties feel comfortable with each other, have the same views, have their own skills to live and create, and achieve the most win-win cooperation. Then you make the choice to keep this relationship going. You have children because you are married, your marriage is happy, you have enough ability and financial resources, and one day both parties decide to bring a little life into your life.

The three can also be understood separately, I only fall in love but don’t get married, I only get married but don’t have children, or I only have children but don’t fall in love and don’t get married. Society is diverse, and people’s outlook on life and values ??are also different, which is also good. The prerequisite is that you have the ability, your parents have good knowledge, respect your way of life, and you have no regrets.

4. Betrothal gift

If China’s marriage and love market is divided into three tiers: upper, middle and grassroots, then the place where bride price is most concentrated and common is at the grassroots level, even if it is at the upper and middle levels There is a betrothal gift, and its nature is very different from that of grassroots betrothal gifts. The betrothal gifts for the upper and middle classes are mostly in the form of gifts and dowries to help the newlyweds start a small family. The so-called "daughter-selling" form of bride price basically only exists in the grassroots marriage and love market, which is the so-called rural areas.

This perspective varies from person to person. For grassroots women or their families, betrothal gifts are a guarantee for them. Because most grassroots men are not highly educated and socialized enough, their ability to resist life risks is low, and the social value they can create is limited, so they marry grassroots men. , is something with a high risk factor and relatively no guarantee. Asking for bride price from lower-class men is actually a way for women to reduce the risks they need to bear in lower-class marriages.

If a man doesn’t want to pay a high betrothal gift, he’d better be highly motivated, capable, good at work, kind, funny, handsome, charming, etc. You can also meet unwanted men. The woman giving the bride price.

5. Fall in love more

At my current age, I still recommend that young people have more relationships, as long as they protect themselves. After you have more emotional experiences, you will gradually know what kind of person you want and what kind of person you are suitable for. You will not enter a marriage in a daze because of ignorance and end up with a farce full of scars.

6. A happy life

The ultimate goal of making money, getting married, buying a car, and buying a house is to have a happy life. People get married because they think marriage and children can bring happiness; they buy a car because they want to travel more conveniently or to gain recognition and respect; they buy a house because they want to gain a sense of security and live a happy and stable life. In the final analysis, happiness is our pursuit, not marriage, cars and houses themselves.

If you choose to buy a car or a house, take on car and house loans, and choose a marriage just for the sake of getting married, you will bear a heavy financial and spiritual burden, leading to a plummeting quality of life, tasteless food, and sleepless nights. , completely contrary to the role it is supposed to play - to create happiness, then you can ask yourself: What is the meaning of doing these things?

You have to understand that the goal of all efforts is to achieve a happy life. Happiness and success are defined by yourself and need to be explored by yourself, but it must be the joy and satisfaction that grows in your heart.