The art of speaking: rejecting unreasonable demands of employees

The art of speaking: refusing unreasonable demands from employees. Refuse unreasonable demands of employees.

For some unreasonable demands put forward by employees, managers must refuse when it is time to refuse. Otherwise, after being caught by other people's psychological weakness, your work will be difficult to carry out and it will be useless to talk about it.

One sentence makes people laugh.

In Britain, a soldier didn't want to serve, so he found various excuses to ask for retirement.

On one occasion, he said to the military chief: You see, I am physically exhausted, and hand-to-hand combat is definitely no match for the enemy on the battlefield, so I am not suitable for being a soldier.

The military chief said, it doesn't matter. After a period of military training, your physical fitness and skills will be greatly improved. What's more, today's war is a modern war and generally does not require hand-to-hand combat.

The soldier said at once, but I'm not tall.

The military chief said with a smile, this is better. Tall, exposed head is likely to be hit by enemy stray bullets.

The soldier said quickly, sir, I can't run fast. I always fall behind others when charging!

The head of the military region said, it doesn't matter. When you reach the enemy's eyes first, we will detonate the explosives.

Seeing that these reasons didn't work, the soldier was anxious and quickly argued: Sir, I am color blind and can't tell the color. How can I go to war?

The officer said, this is your advantage, young man. Once you are injured and bleed in battle, you can't tell red from white, so it won't stimulate your brain too much.

The soldier found that it was still useless, so he took out the last trick: Sir, I am nearsighted. You can't let a man who can't even aim at the target go to war, can you?

The military chief smiled: then I will send you to the front line, and you can see the enemy at any time!

Soldiers have nothing to say.

From the beginning, the military officer understood that the real intention of the soldiers was to find an excuse to stop serving. Instead of directly criticizing and accusing the soldiers, he used language skills to expose each other's intentions and achieve his own goals.

Jump in one word.

Zhang Li is the general manager of a company. On this day, Zhang Li met the employee Xiao Li in the corridor of the company office. Xiao Li stopped and said, Oh, Mr. Zhang, I finally met you. There is a question, I've been meaning to ask you what to do. Next, he reported the problem like this. Soon, tension will understand that this problem should actually be solved by Xiao Li himself and should not bother others. But Zhang Li thought he couldn't let the subordinate who was eager to get things done down, so he listened very carefully. In fact, he is also in a hurry, because there are very important things to deal with. A few minutes later, Zhang Li looked at his watch and said, Oh, I'm sorry, I'm in a hurry now. I can't answer this question for the time being Tell you what! Let me think about it and give you an answer in a few days, ok?

The tension hurried away, and I unconsciously carried a heavy psychological burden.

Two days later, Xiao Li called as promised: Teacher Zhang, what do you think I should do about the question I asked you two days ago? In his hurry, Zhang Li thought for a while before remembering what he was saying. Oh, I'm sorry. I've been so busy these two days that I haven't decided yet. Will you come to see it in a few days?

No problem, no problem. Xiao Li seems very considerate.

A week later, Zhang Li got another call from Xiao Li. Before he could speak, Zhang Li felt very sorry and asked Xiao Li for a few days' grace again.

At the moment, tension seems a little overwhelmed, because now his heart is full of guilt.

The traditional management concept is that the boss must be more capable than his subordinates. Therefore, many managers are afraid that their subordinates think they are incompetent and incompetent, so they try their best to meet the requirements of their subordinates in every detail in order to gain their dependence. As everyone knows, the result is often counterproductive.

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Generally speaking, subordinates are worried about being rejected, whether they will take a look, and whether they will be troubled or worried when they make some requests to managers. Therefore, managers should consider the feelings of their subordinates and avoid calling a spade a spade before making a decision to refuse. Managers can make targeted suggestions to subordinates by understanding their situation, so that they can get appropriate support from others or organizations. If the suggestions or alternatives put forward can be effectively implemented and the other party seeks a better solution under the guidance, it will definitely be grateful to you.

When you say no at first, your tone should be firm, but your attitude must be gentle and euphemistic. Like a pill. This sugar-coated medicine is easy to take. Similarly, gentle and euphemistic expressions of refusal are more acceptable.

There is a story, the manager is busy delivering goods, and suddenly the female assistant comes to ask for a two-hour leave, because the electrical appliances ordered at the mall on the weekend arrived today, and she has to go home to inspect the goods.

In this case, many managers will choose one of the following two ways to deal with it: one is to flatly refuse, regardless of the feelings of female assistants, because this requirement is very inappropriate; The other is to reluctantly agree to her request, not to offend her, and be a good person.

Although the above two treatment methods are feasible, they are not the best. The first will make the relationship between superiors and subordinates tense and reduce the morale of subordinates, and the second will delay the work progress.

If the manager weighed the situation at that time and thought that the female assistant should not be asked to take time off at that time, how should he refuse it to avoid or minimize the adverse consequences?

Experienced managers will choose to say: you know, in normal times, I can definitely give you time off to go home on business. However, today's situation is quite special. If we can't deliver the goods before tomorrow as agreed, we will lose a big customer. You are my assistant. You don't want this to happen, do you? what do you think? You call the shopping center and ask them to reschedule, say tomorrow afternoon, so that you have enough time to deal with your personal affairs without delaying our delivery.

In fact, it is possible that this reply is not completely satisfactory to subordinates, but the manager has at least chosen the best way to deal with it. This treatment can reflect four advantages: first, the manager did not directly refuse the request of his subordinates, but let her know that he had seriously considered it; Second, the manager made it clear to his subordinates why he didn't approve her leave. Third, let subordinates know her own importance. Her departure will affect the company's business and improve the morale of subordinates. Fourth, provide solutions for subordinates to help them deal with difficult problems.

Therefore, managers must learn to say no and master its skills, so as to properly refuse, not only adhere to their own working principles, but also stimulate their enthusiasm for work without hurting their self-esteem.

Let's look at some examples:

(1) A subordinate in charge asked to change departments. You should show concern for subordinates' transfer requirements, which will help reduce the harm caused by refusal to subordinates. For example, you can find time to talk to him and find out why he wants to transfer. You may find that the reason why he really wants to transfer is not necessarily work-related. It may be that the relationship with a colleague is not handled properly enough, there are some misunderstandings, or it may be that there are some difficulties or problems that can only be solved by transferring. Therefore, only through communication can we know the problem, and then discuss the solution with the subordinate * * * to make him give up the idea of asking for a transfer.

If you still can't make him change his mind through this conversation, you must refuse him for the benefit of the company and the department, but fully consider the negative impact on him and minimize this damage. You can say: you can't adjust now, see if there is any chance in a month or two. This will give the subordinate a glimmer of hope and will not make him depressed. Moreover, by doing so, you gain time to consider other possibilities, during which the ideas of subordinates may change.

(2) The subordinate's leave request cannot be approved. Usually, there are two situations that prevent the boss from approving the subordinate's leave request: one is that the subordinate's leave request disrupts the original leave arrangement and he does not follow the regulations; The other is that the vacation during this period has been arranged for other subordinates in advance.

In the first case, you should clearly let your subordinates know that he has not complied with the regulations. You can tell him that the company chooses to arrange the vacation plan every year 1 month, just considering the work plan for the whole year. You know, the week you want to take a vacation is the time to take stock, and you can't be short of one person, so I'm sorry.

In the second case, when a subordinate's vacation conflicts with someone else's vacation arranged in advance, let the subordinate know that the company's principle of granting leave is to apply first and arrange first, and his request cannot be approved. Of course, the company can allow his colleagues to change their vacation date if they get their consent.

(3) Subordinate wants to change working hours. Subordinates often encounter some time troubles, such as taking care of children, traffic problems or other various things. It is good to cooperate with subordinates and help them tide over temporary difficulties, so that subordinates can appreciate you, but sometimes they must refuse. At this time, it is necessary to consider how to say no, so that subordinates will not have the idea that you are indifferent to his practical difficulties.

When encountering such a problem, you should master the principle of being as flexible as possible and seek a solution with your subordinates, so that even if his request is finally rejected by you, your subordinates will not resent you, because they think you have really worked hard for this matter.

Sometimes, you will allow a subordinate to leave work early, but at the same time you will refuse other subordinates' requests to leave work early. In order to prevent them from misunderstanding that you are unprincipled or biased, you must explain the reasons to your subordinates and gain their understanding.

(4) Subordinates ask for a raise or promotion. When subordinates get up the courage to come to you and ask for a raise or promotion, you should understand that it is not easy. So at this time, you should calmly invite your subordinates to sit down and let them tell you the reason for doing so and understand his real thoughts. If you need to refuse, your reasons for refusal must be targeted and convincing. For example, tight budget, slow business, or other factors prevent you from rewarding their efforts.

It should be noted that when dealing with such problems, it is forbidden to write empty checks and make irresponsible promises beyond one's authority.

The request is too euphemistic, and it is the easiest to be rejected.

The request is too euphemistic, and it is the easiest to be rejected. Many people think that asking the boss is tantamount to pulling a tooth out of a tiger's mouth, so many people are afraid to put forward their own ideas when asking. If you have requirements, you must first put down your timidity and timidity and dare to put forward your own ideas confidently. How can you succeed if you dare not even think about it?

Liu Hui and Li Wei are colleagues and good friends who joined the company together. Due to better development, Li Wei submitted his resignation to his boss, ready to jump ship. The night before he jumped ship, he invited Liu Hui to have dinner with him. As a good friend and colleague, when talking about the speculation, Li Wei revealed some company secrets to Liu Hui, but it never calmed Liu Hui down.

The company they stay in is a large company with a certain scale and popularity, so there are many people who have just applied. They are the lucky ones in this group. As soon as they applied, they made a decision at once. Before the internship period expired, both of them were left behind by the company and signed as regular employees. However, after the internship, the treatment they expected was not implemented, and the boss's promise was delayed, only giving some spiritual encouragement. Liu Hui originally thought that Li Wei resigned because he was tired of working day and night and his salary was not high, but Li Wei told Liu Hui that he left mainly for better development, not because of his low salary, because his salary was already 4,000 yuan, not the original 1500 yuan.

Speaking of this, Liu was surprised to say that since he joined the company, he has never had a salary increase. Li Wei said meaningfully, You are so stupid. You only know how to work hard, but you don't know how to make reasonable demands on your boss. You don't value your job. If you are someone else, you either don't work overtime or have already got a raise. Two months after the internship expired, I asked my boss for a raise. After the boss talked to me alone, my salary rose to 2000 yuan. Half a year or so, I went to see my boss again, saying that the interests of individuals and collectives should be in direct proportion, and this time my salary rose to 3000 yuan. After half a year, the company's profits increased substantially, and we all contributed, so I talked to the boss alone. He refused to raise his salary in any case. Later, I gave him the salary data of employees in the same industry all over the country, and my salary rose to 4000 yuan, because after every conversation, he was very careful to keep me quiet, otherwise the company would be chaotic and not good for me. I didn't tell you out of personal interest. Now that I'm gone, telling you this secret really feels like you did a terrible job.

Li Wei's words made Liu Hui think all night and went to work the next day. After careful consideration, he finally submitted a written report on the salary increase to his boss, and told him that he had talked with Li Wei, which embarrassed him. Oh, he left with the report. The next day, the boss called him to the office and told him to give him a raise next month. Actually, Li Wei was right. Although the company is big and profitable, this kind of boss can always avoid talking about it when he raises his salary, just like squeezing toothpaste. He will think that if you don't even consider your own interests, he won't have time to think for you.

In fact, to put it bluntly, the workplace is a platform for fair trade. Since you have made efforts, you should enjoy the corresponding treatment. If there is a problem with the salary, list the rewards you get for doing the same job as you, and give examples of others' reasonable treatment, and ask the boss to tell you the reason. If communication fails, you can go directly to the boss's superior. Usually, the boss doesn't want to be reported by ordinary employees, and the big boss will trust the middle managers he chooses. However, when you feel that the problem can't be solved, you should have the courage to change the status quo and say no to your immediate boss.

Chen Dayong just left school and joined a company. As he just graduated and has no work experience, his salary is the lowest in the company. However, Chen Dayong believes that his salary will increase a little. But after half a year, his salary still hasn't improved. So, he began to ask this question vaguely in front of the boss. I didn't expect the boss to be stupid, which made Chen Dayong a little overwhelmed.

One day, there was only Chen Dayong and his boss in the office. Chen Dayong specifically mentioned that the rent has gone up again this month and the price of vegetables has also gone up. The implication is, when will my salary rise?

The boss smiled and said: Now the whole big economic environment outside is like this, and the crisis of layoffs is prevalent. I am very lucky to have a stable job and a good income! Stop complaining and work hard!

Many officials of administrative, commercial and enterprise units, including private entrepreneurs, often mention at the staff meeting that there are many people looking for jobs now, and everyone should work hard and cherish their jobs. Otherwise, there is no shortage of people in our unit. It is not difficult to see that the subtext of this sentence is: if you don't do as I do, you will be fired. Under this warning with ellipsis, it is undoubtedly the wisest thing for ordinary professionals who have no power and are not rich.

In order not to lose your job, but also to keep your job, it has almost become a common problem for people in the workplace to bear the burden of humiliation. However, due to the long-term lack of autonomy and the concept of striving for reasonable interests of many employees, coupled with the fear of power owners formed since ancient times, most people only dare to think, dare not say and dare not do. On the other hand, others want others to stand out and enjoy success without taking risks. Therefore, even if some employees dare to put forward their own requirements, they always choose the most euphemistic expression because of China people's consistent behavior habits and psychological ways. You know, many bosses just take advantage of employees' shyness, take the initiative to safeguard their legitimate rights and interests, boldly put forward their own demands and do whatever they want.

Many people believe that all unfairness lies in the imperfection of the system. As long as the system is perfect, various problems will be solved. Although the system is important, the reality is not that simple. Even if the system is perfect, it still depends on people to implement it, not to mention how many things in the world cannot be taken care of by the system. In addition, the perfection of the system must be promoted by people who are willing to devote themselves to their ideals. A person who does not know the way of life and political art may have died before he started his career. If you can't save yourself from the mire, how can you help the whole world out of trouble?

Therefore, if you want to get your due share in the workplace, you must first correctly evaluate your role and contribution in the enterprise. What is my qualifications in the company? How important is it to my boss? What projects have been successfully completed recently? How much profit did these projects bring to the company? What do you think you will contribute to the company in the future? Will your resignation bring some losses to the company? Evaluate yourself correctly and confirm whether your requirements are possible. At the same time, it is best to prepare a written debriefing report for yourself and make a correct estimate of your actual contribution to the company. Remember, bosses value employees' contribution to the company more. In order to ensure victory, you should also evaluate your current salary level. The best way is to compare with peers in the market and objectively win the due motivation for yourself.

In addition, you should boldly and directly put forward your own requirements. For those smart bosses who are good at Tai Chi, many employees will play the fool and be fully distracted after putting forward their own requirements euphemistically, and the final requirements can only be kicked back by the other side like a ball. Therefore, we must actively and directly raise it, so that the boss has no room for manoeuvre. Only when you overwhelm each other psychologically with strong courage can your request be adopted.

The art of speaking: strike up a conversation with the right opposite sex

The art of speaking: talking to the right heterosexual

1. Talk to the right opposite sex

How can you not miss the opportunity when you meet the right opposite sex? Need some communication wisdom, also need to grasp some temperature. In fact, when interacting with the opposite sex, we always get to know each other by seeking common ground while reserving differences, from birth to maturity.

One sentence makes people laugh.

Xiaoli works in a storage room on the university campus. Wu Jiang, a young teacher, likes her very much, so she often makes small deposits in the bank window, which attracts Xiaoli's attention and curiosity.

One day, Wujiang came to the bank to deposit money again. The difference this time is that while saving money, Wujiang also handed a note: beautiful girl, I have saved my feelings for a year seriously, hoping to get rich interest one day. Now, I think it's time for lump sum deposit and withdrawal. Please pay me interest. I want to know what the cash rate is. At six o'clock in the afternoon, I'll wait for you to get off work at the bank gate. The signature is a devout depositor.

Xiaoli was moved by Wujiang's humorous language and went to the appointment happily after work.

Wujiang successfully captured the beauty's heart in this humorous way. Of course, Wujiang's perseverance also played a big role.

Jump in one word.

At a party, single Rebecca fell in love with the same single Li Jun and took the initiative to strike up a conversation.

I heard that you work in a government agency. What's your annual salary? Wang Yan asked.

I didn't think salary was important when I first joined the company. What I value more is to exercise myself at work. Obviously, Li Jun is unwilling to answer Rebecca's question.

how much is it? I am curious. Rebecca is still in hot pursuit.

After paying the mortgage every month, I have little left. Li Jun frowned. He has some antipathy to Rebecca: he doesn't even know the taboo of not directly asking others about their income, which is really immature.

Oh, you bought a house. How much do you pay back every month? Rebecca seems very happy.

What, you want to help me pay back half? Li Mingxian was unhappy, and his tone was a little sarcastic. The scene suddenly became very embarrassing.

Everyone has something they don't want to show. Just like a woman's age, income is also the most private part of a man. Because a man's income level represents his ability to a certain extent, so; No matter what class a person is in, he doesn't want to be asked about his income.

The income of the other party in the first conversation is a very taboo thing. Rebecca had a good impression on Li Jun, but she boldly asked about Li Jun's income, which left a very bourgeois and immature impression on Li Jun.

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Many people are eager for further communication opportunities when they meet the right opposite sex, but they don't know how to speak or what to say. Even people who are talkative, humorous and funny will become dull, silent and even at a loss. In fact, you don't have to be so nervous, and don't close your feelings and heart. If you think the other person is nice, express your sincerity to him boldly. Hiding, afraid to ask, afraid to say, will only turn the original beautiful encounter into an embarrassing encounter, which is meaningless.

Once you find the opposite sex you like, you can take the initiative to say hello and try to start with the topic, so as not to be silent. Maybe before you speak, you still have a sense of inferiority about your body, appearance and other external conditions, but if you speak and show the character that makes the other person love, the other person may be attracted to you without paying attention to your external conditions.

This is especially true for men. Understand that girls like bold, honest and sincere boys. As long as you grasp the principle of praise and make her feel happy and sweet, you can continue your relationship. If you can observe her psychology and hobbies before speaking, it would be better to speak in a targeted way.

When looking for topics to strike up a conversation with the opposite sex, we should choose those interesting things in life as the theme, which can not only narrow the distance between us, but also make it easier to produce * * * sounds and add friendly elements, such as choosing some relaxed topics or campus life.

In addition, when talking with the right opposite sex, we should also stimulate each other's interest in talking. Some girls don't like to think. When a boy talks to her for the first time, he always answers with yes andno. No matter how you ask questions, she always answers simply. At this time, you should be more patient, continue to attack, slowly find the topic she is interested in, and make the conversation very pleasant.

It should be noted that when chatting up the right opposite sex, we should not be too direct, on the one hand, because the feelings of the two sexes are different, on the other hand, we should also consider the factors of social environment. Therefore, we should try to feel each other's feelings from each other's point of view, consider the differences between the two sexes as much as possible, and think twice before speaking, which will help to express the language more artistically and meet each other's needs.

The art of speaking between strangers: don't "gild the lily" when talking.

The art of speaking between strangers: don't "gild the lily" when talking. Qin Zi once asked his teacher Mozi: Will you talk more? Mozi replied: frogs croak day and night, which makes people thirsty, but they are not liked. And the chickens crow on time at dawn in the morning, and the world is not woken up! What are the benefits of talking more? That's what happened.

One sentence makes people laugh.

Pop star Wang Leehom and famous pianist Lang Lang once performed on the same stage in Hong Kong. After they were not familiar with each other, Wang Leehom thought that Lang Lang should be a taciturn literary youth. Unexpectedly, Lang Lang was silent after the meeting: Leehom, you are a descendant of the dragon, and I am a descendant of the wolf (Lang). This prologue immediately brought the two young people closer together.

With this sentence, Lang Lang left a good impression on Wang Leehom. Wang Leehom said on many occasions: Lang Lang is the most easygoing and enthusiastic classical musician I have ever met!

Between two strangers, an unusual opening remark will make the conversation unique and impressive.

Jump in one word.

On the bus, a young migrant worker carrying a big bag was holding a map in his hand and his face was full of confusion. At first glance, he comes from other places. He hesitated for a moment and asked the conductor, Master, where should I get off?

The conductor said impatiently, you are going in the wrong direction. You should go back by bus. The text should be here, but the conductor added, I can't read the map. What else can I do?

Of course the foreign boy heard it, but he just smiled and got ready to get off. However, the old man sitting on the side couldn't listen any longer. He glanced at the conductor, then turned to the young man in the field and said, actually, you don't have to sit in the back. Sit at the first few stops and then change trains. The old man's words ended here, but he just added: the education level of young people now is really poor!

With so many young people in the car, this sentence really hit a wide range. A young girl standing next to her uncle couldn't help it: Grandpa, is this wrong? After all, uneducated people are a minority! The girl didn't say anything here, but she couldn't help adding: Many people your age look very kind, but their bellies are full of bad water!

At this time, a middle-aged woman connected again: how can you, a young girl, talk to the old man like this? After all, be polite! To say that the middle-aged woman is right to criticize you, she added: Look at your clothes, it is estimated that your parents can't control you if they want, and you are dressed like a demon. When you say that, it's like throwing a bomb. The girl couldn't swallow this tone naturally, and the car suddenly exploded like a pot.

At this time, the bus arrived at the station and opened the door. The conductor said, let's not argue. Get off the bus if you need to, and don't delay the business. However, he did not forget to add: If you really want to make trouble, get out of the car and make trouble. Are you tired?

If all the people on the bus give up their last words, I believe this war of words will never happen. In fact, many times, because of the last sentence, two people who were originally at peace became opponents and enemies, and a conversation became a conflict. Remember, once you say something, you can't take it back. We advocate good eloquence, but remind you to control your words at all times. If you talk too much, you lose. Don't pay a heavy price for being fast.

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Misfortune comes from the mouth, which makes people lose their reputation, and joy comes from the heart, which makes people add luster. Sometimes the speaker means no harm, just likes to speak quickly for a while, but for the listener, it may hurt him. It is better to keep your mouth shut and make people doubt your shallowness than to prove your shallowness from the beginning. This is a famous saying worth remembering.

In an increasingly diversified society, small misunderstandings or small frictions between people are normal. Broad-minded people will forget this, but not everyone has such a mind. In interpersonal communication, we can often see that some quarrels stem from trivial matters, but because one party talks quickly for a while, it often turns trivial matters into major events or even disasters.

People who love to chat for a while are mostly impetuous and used to blaming others. In their spiritual world, there is no word forbearance. As long as you are unhappy, curse things and people to relieve your troubles, that's all. But they didn't expect that their anxiety was vented. How does the scolded person feel?

Just as people will erect their pores after sneezing, showing off their breath for a while is actually a way to vent their physical pleasure.

The difference is that the pleasure of sneezing is purely physiological, while speaking fast is mixed with strong psychological color.

In this sense, to overcome the problem of quick talking, we must work hard from the usual self-psychological adjustment.

First of all, we should remember a principle that we should talk as little as possible in any place and occasion. Silence is worth advocating. If you have to say it, you should pay attention to the content, meaning, wording, tone, posture, and what to say on what occasion and how to say it properly.

Secondly, don't talk nonsense without knowing the inside story. There are no perfect people in the world, so don't talk about their shortcomings and don't expose their privacy. First of all, you should understand that your understanding of others is not necessarily reliable, and there may be hidden reasons you don't know. If you rashly publicize the one-sided phenomenon you know, you will inevitably confuse right and wrong. By the time the truth came out, it was over.

Say the benefits of bad people, others think you are ignorant at most; It is immoral to speak ill of good people. Therefore, when learning the art of speaking, we must first learn to talk less. Of course, you can only say less, not all. Speaking well without saying much is the art of eloquence.