Do you want to attend the important activities of your ex-wife's house?

As a student, you should only focus on your studies, and you'd better not participate in family affairs. But from what you said above, I think you are a filial child, and your parents are excellent. As a member of the family, you are an only child. I suggest you enlighten your mother at the right time, or ask your grandparents to remind you privately.

As far as your family is concerned, I think that although your father's ex-wife is gone, your father has no obligation to care about his ex-wife's maiden. Your father's ex-wife has done a lot for your father before, and they used to be very loving. It is commendable that he took care of their parents' family, which shows that your father is a good man who values friendship and kindness. But personally, I think his concern should be measured, and he should not pay too much attention to you and you. You can mobilize the old man to remind your father about it. Don't tell your father directly. If you and your mother come forward to stop you, your father may be dissatisfied with you. Just a little personal advice.