Good morning. Humorous jokes for girlfriends.

Humor is characterized by making people laugh, making people happy, joyful and cheerful. Applying this feature to social life will achieve amazing results. I collected some humorous jokes for your girlfriend. Let's have a look.

Good morning, your girlfriend. Humorous jokes

1) My ex-boyfriend sent me a message asking me to attend his wedding. I calmly answered three words: next time.

2) Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face & hellip& amphellip

3) The most painful thing in the world is to be awakened by urine after a good sleep.

4) On the way to a bus, many people crowded up from the back door, the door could not be closed, and no one invested. The driver was really angry at that time and shouted loudly, if you don't invest money, get out, or I will get out! Everyone laughed at that time!

5) Money is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's gone after use.

6) Son: "Dad, what is capital and what is labor?" Father: "well, if I borrow one hundred dollars from my neighbor's house, I will have capital." If he wants money back from me, he must work for me. "

7) Wang Guoxuan, an animal strategist, was chosen by Cobra with absolute superiority. The tiger comforted the fox and said, Brother, don't be depressed. Everyone says that your feet are always slippery, so they are not stable enough. Cobra wears a pair of glasses and looks like a cultural person.

8) making money is as quiet as a virgin, and spending money is like a rabbit; Making money is as slow as a mouse and spending money as fierce as a tiger; It is hard to make money and spend countless money; Making money is eternal, and spending money is a romantic number. In fact, if you think about it carefully, why do you want to make money without spending money? So I hope you can make more money and spend more!

9) Because cow dung can make flowers more colorful! So flowers have been inserted in cow dung!

10) making money is like sailing against the current, tired and tired, spending money is like sailing against the current, cool and cool! Every day of earning money is like a year, which is even more difficult. Spending money is a flash in the pan, as fast as lightning. Friends, please make more money and spend money reasonably. Good luck.

1 1) Poor eyesight. For example, see the thumbtacks on the wall over there? You can see it, but I can't.

12) My ideal college life is to have classes at eight o'clock in the morning, go to the library in the afternoon, play games, watch movies and read books in the dormitory at night, and then go to bed at eleven o'clock on time. Who should I call to say good night before going to bed? . . . But it turns out. . There is still a gap between ideal and reality. For example, the distance between Mars and the Earth. . . . .

13) the most mispronounced Chinese character: covet J &；; Igravey & ampuacute, not in harmony with jǔyǔ, L & Iacoutengy ǔ incarnation, gap w gap ngli gap ng, w&; ku w & amp； Aacutenk & ampugrave, Siniperca chuatsi gu & igravey & ampuacute, over 80 years old; A grave odi & eacute;, gluttonous t ā oti&; Egrave, hesitate ch &；; Iacutech & ampuacuteⅾⅾǒ·ɡ· Zane ɡ, 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩𾜡𾜡255 Ng，Partridge CH &； Igravech & ampugrave flatters ch m & amp； Egrave me, with rickets G not gōul &；; Oacuteu. Did you miss these words?

How many people are shouting? . . Actually, I just lie in bed and think about it&; hellip~

15) Look at you, Yushu is in the breeze, handsome and charming, everyone loves you and a hundred flowers bloom. You must be the best among scum and the beast among animals! And according to observation, you must have been short of calcium since childhood and lack of love when you grow up. Grandma doesn't hurt, and uncle doesn't. The left face owes pumping, and the right face owes kicking. The donkey saw the donkey kicking, and the pig saw the pig stepping. Born to be a cucumber, I owe it a pat! The day after tomorrow belongs to walnut, you owe it! Life is like a broken motorcycle, it needs kicking! Finding a wife is a screw, but not a screw!

16) if one day, you meet your ex-lover and ta's new lover in the street, please don't be sad! Someone said, "Because our mother taught us to donate old toys to people less fortunate than us ..."

Good morning, a selection of humorous jokes for my girlfriend.

1) Your way of speaking is called pull-in rhetoric.

2) As long as the hoe jumps well, which corner can't be dug down?

3) If someone pursues it, there is no woman in the world who is not on cloud nine. This is why women are so charming.

4) One day, I told you that you were a pig, and you said: I am a pig. So I started calling you a pig. Finally, one day you can't help but announce loudly in front of everyone: I'm not a pig!

5) I like rainy days, I like to listen to the sound of rain hitting bananas, I like to watch roses swaying in the wind, and I like to watch your charming gesture of stroking your long hair in the drizzle. It won't kill you!

6) Do you think you look good in person or in photos? & ampmdash& ampmdash; It looks good to turn off the lights.

7) When the first frost comes, I wish you happiness and a beautiful life beckons to you; Good luck and wealth are declining, and a bright future beckons to you; Smooth and comfortable, shake hands with you at work. The first frost not only hopes but also reminds us to pay attention to health and warmth.

8) Good people are set off by us bad people.

9) the so-called holiday, the family suspects that there is no money to go out, and every day is particularly idle.

10) You always fart in the office, and colleagues can't help asking if you can keep quiet. Then I saw you sitting there shivering and asked what you were doing, and you replied that I was shaking!

1 1) busy, difficult to make money, annoying, spending money crazily, working hard for a whole month, spending it all in a few days, and having a poor performance, you have to rest on your laurels. Struggle for decades, just to get a bride. I wish you a happy life. My career is booming and my wallet is bulging.

12) It is difficult to have a house and a car. Everyone is ordinary. Although there is no job, the money is not enough to make ends meet, I often sleep on the street and like to play online games, but my personality is gentle enough, and there are always times when I don't have enough love. They never let go when they meet girls. Well, we will be together forever.

13) It's great when you make money, and even better when you spend money. Everything in the world is a cool word. I don't care who I can spend my whole life with, and the money I spend my whole life with you is called waste paper. Finally, it just comes out of your pocket and enters his pocket. I wish you money and a future, money and a future, flowers and a future.

14) that day, I was about to go to the zoo to see orangutans, and you came. I told you my arrangement politely, but I didn't expect you to turn your back and shout. Didn't you see I was right in front of you? You should go to the zoo.

15) Today, Chang 'e dated Bajie, and the swan met the toad, and the Weaver Girl followed the orders of the Empress Dowager and moved on. Don't wait, just do it and love me.

16) Three generations went fishing together. Grandsons saw grandpa holding a fishing rod and were speechless, so they said to his father, look at your father, how stupid he is! Dad was particularly angry and said, You talk nonsense, your dad is stupid!

17) once sitting in the middle of a bus, an old lady came halfway. Stand up at once and give your seat to the old man. The old man smiled and said, "Thank you. Sit down. There are many seats in the back. " I turned around and the position behind me was all empty. .

18) One day, I was taking a bus. When the bus started, the next person on the bus ran after the car and shouted "Master, wait for me". I saw the driver say, "Bajie, we are at the front station, and I will wait for you there."

19) You earn paper, but you use money. Life is always there, so bitter! Advise friends, don't be pessimistic, be optimistic and natural, as long as you work hard, you will be the brightest; Bless your friends, have a safe life, and money will continue to revolve around you!

Classic good morning, humorous joke for girlfriend.

1) Today, the princess kissed the frog and the frog became a prince. The prince knelt down and said to the princess, "Thank you for saving my beautiful and kind princess. I have another wish. " The princess blushed: "Go ahead, I will meet your requirements." So the prince took another frog out of his pocket. . . Another one. . . frog

2) Set up a shed to sell embroidery needles-the business is not big and the shelves are not small.

3) If you have a lot of homework, you can play cards with papers: "Children's Mathematics", "I teach three languages" and "I teach science!" Can't afford it, can't afford it, can't afford it, I'll run first.

4) The hardest thing in the world is not diamonds, but Conan's life! Explosion can't kill you, sea can't kill you, fire can't kill you, train can't kill you, sharp knife can't kill you, smoke can't kill you, altitude can't kill you, neck can't kill you, drunkenness can't kill you, poison can't kill you, plane crash can't kill you, poisonous gas can't kill you, machine gun can't kill you, avalanche can't kill you&; In a word, Conan never dies!

5) My router is broken. Now it's routing crying.

6) Going out in two clothes, experiencing a 360-degree three-dimensional wind, looking down at the sky, looking up at the mushroom head, slanting bangs left and right, turning a little to 28, then turning a little to 37, turning left to right punk, turning right to left punk, and becoming a quasi-punk. This wind is really all-round and multi-layered, and my sister is blown into all kinds of growls &; hellip& amphellip

7) I always thought you were cheated by a cow, but in fact you were cheated by someone.

8) Going out in two clothes, experiencing a 360-degree three-dimensional wind, looking down at the sky, looking up at the mushroom head, slanting bangs left and right, turning 28 a little, turning 37 a little, turning left to right punk, turning right to left punk, and becoming a quasi-punk. This wind is really all-round and multi-layered, and my sister is blown into all kinds of growls &; hellip& amphellip

9) "I bet I can make you forget that you are gay right now!" "But I'm not gay." "Look!"

10) Yesterday, my friend invited me to his dormitory to eat hot pot. After I went in, I saw a group of young men around a big washbasin with all kinds of hot pot ingredients and vegetables in it! It's still hot in the basin! Should I admire your creativity or courage?

1 1) The latest hilarious jokes.

12) I went to my brother's house yesterday and saw my little nephew who had been beaten by my good-natured sister-in-law. When I asked the truth, I laughed hysterically. Sister-in-law came home early and saw a maddening scene: the little nephew took a dip in the living room and then fed it to the dog spoon by spoon for more than a month. The first thing my sister-in-law does when she comes home from work every day is to pick up the puppy and kiss it.

13) Every day, there are ghost stories in the classrooms, canteens, libraries and study rooms of the school: a classmate points to an empty seat and says, there are people here &; bdquo& ampbdquo

14) have dinner with my buddy's restaurant on National Day. When the food is served, the buddy calls the waiter: Believe it or not, I can open the beer with my thumb. The waiter said in surprise, I don't believe my buddy said simply, then why don't you bring a bottle opener? !

15) The origin of puffs The farmer's daughter fell in love with the young man who herded sheep, but her father objected. The farmer said that if they can put milk in the eggs, they should be together. Later, the couple made a snack that looked as crisp as an egg shell and contained frozen milk, which was approved by their father. The first pronunciation of a boy's name is Pufu, and the last pronunciation of a girl's name is Pufu. This snack is called Pufu.

16) It is said that the information content of a single DNA reaches bytes. In other words, the average ejaculation volume is equivalent to transmitting B data once every three seconds. Such a large amount of information can fill an iPad with a capacity, and it will take several years if it is uploaded through the Internet (bps). Man, connotation, can't afford to hurt!

17) Digital Baby Ah Wu saves the world, Poké mon Xiao Zhi travels around the world, Dragon Ball Wukong takes part in the first martial arts meeting in the world, Master China takes an examination of senior chefs, Naruto Uchiha Itachi opens a kaleidoscope sharingan, One Piece flies the grand line, famous detective Conan solves numerous cases, and Naruto becomes the editor-in-chief of Erqi Road Forum ~ ~ Why can I only do my homework? !

18) When Shen Congwen chased him, Shen was a teacher and Zhang was a freshman. Shen Congwen couldn't catch up with his suicide for a long time, which frightened the little girl. He took a pile of love letters to the headmaster and said, "Look, Teacher Shen wrote to me. I am studying now, and now is not the time to talk about these things. Unexpectedly, the principal told her, "that's all." Bdquo & amp bdquo "& mdash & mdash The wicked principal is Hu Shi.