There is a phenomenon in the countryside. Red things don't help, and white things try to retreat. Why?

Happy events are called white events, and happy events are generally tolerant.

It is understandable that people can't be polite, but in terms of the most basic self-interest, the countryside is a human society. Will your family be fine if you don't come back when someone else has something to do? Everyone has parents and elders. If you don't help, it will be embarrassing and troublesome in the future. My village is really a story. I live alone in other places and basically don't participate in village affairs. When his father died, no one helped him except my relatives. His uncle led him to kowtow from door to door until he promised to help. Finally, he sent his father away. Since then, he has actively participated in everything in the village, and he will come back in the future because he still has his mother!

In recent years, I have come to the city from the countryside, and I really have a deep understanding of the views on weddings, funerals and weddings. The importance of weddings and funerals is really different.

I grew up in a big family. In recent years, before I got married, my family had to hold at least two weddings every year, and my uncles and aunts were very busy. In recent years, because the previous generation has reached seventy years old, time waits for no one, and nothing has happened.

I'm really busy in the city, and I have a primary school child to pick up. You have to worry about something at home. I basically made a trip for nothing, but I didn't make a trip for nothing. Why? I think the white thing is more serious and exquisite than the red thing, mainly because you go back to mourn your deceased relatives, which shows that you are very filial to your elders and it is impolite not to participate. There is not so much attention to the red incident. You can send blessings on the phone in advance and give a little money, and your family will never blame you. Welcome everyone to leave a message and interact.

Let's talk about customs here. If we were here, weddings and funerals would be held in the village. Because they all have the same surname, the surrounding villages will come to help. Red things are basically cooking, while white things have more customs and need more people, so red things generally give way to white things, but there are also special circumstances.

I still remember that when my grandfather died, it happened to be a happy event for others, and there were not enough people to help. In fact, my family has a good relationship with the wedding banquet, but because the wedding banquet is a rich man in our village, and my father has no skill, plus my grandfather died at an inappropriate time, and the younger generation and I are better, so it's okay; The attitude of the older generation is intriguing. I was 24 years old that year, and I came to the door one by one, but the older generation basically had something to shirk; Our local custom is that the next generation must help the gods, but I can't find anyone else who can help the gods except my uncles.

On the day of the funeral, some people may have been sorry for me, but several people came to help the spirits. And because I had a good time with the groom at the wedding reception, they came to the coffin and rolled up their sleeves to carry it. Only those elderly people come here occasionally. No one in the older generation wants to carry the coffin, but the grandson carries it. It was difficult to climb the mountain that day, it was raining, the road was slippery, and our grandchildren were inexperienced. But the coffin never touched the ground.

After I was buried, I kowtowed to everyone. Everyone present today, please let me know if you need me in the future. There is no more gorgeous language, just keep it in mind silently. Later, I did the same. In the village, I took part in everything that helped me that day, even if it was just a glass of wine.

The main reason why Hongshi doesn't help is that most family weddings have reserved tables in hotels, so there is no need for so many people to help.

It doesn't matter if a happy person arrives before the ceremony, and there will be many opportunities to meet again. Everyone is busy now, because it is unrealistic to go home for a happy event in the village. Many wedding children don't know each other, but they have feelings for their parents, so it is understandable not to attend the wedding emotionally.

White matter is different. The old man who died is our childhood memory. He may have given you candy or helped you. Now you can remember the face of the man you saw every day when you were a child. I don't usually come back to visit, but I gave him a ride anyway.

This is an emotional factor. Everyone has memories and feelings.

Then there is real public interest. Most of the parents outside are in the countryside. Who in the village has something to do but you don't go? Will someone else go if something happens to your family? The countryside is human society, and a village is these people. It is a habit to help anyone who has something. How can you mix in the countryside if you don't go to other people's homes?

The red thing is a happy event, and there will be many times in a lifetime, while the white thing is a funeral, and that person has only one time in his life.

From the frequency, it can be said that happy events can happen many times, and the importance is far less than that of white events only once.

I still remember when I was a student, there were always many red and white things in the countryside. Occasionally, we may gather in a "lively" place. When we were young, we were always "crazy". We can't wait to get together and have a fight every day, but we didn't have much time to study when we were young. How can we have so many holidays for you to participate in these things? The teacher said that no matter what happy events, there will always be many times in our lives. But white things are different. Only white things are allowed in your holiday.

Now that I'm working, I don't care about my own red and white affairs, but I only get funeral leave pay.

Answering this question always reminds people of their dead relatives.

The red event is a happy event. Many people and few people can do it. There's usually nothing to help. Women and children can do it. White things are different. There must be many people, but not enough. There must also be great labor. My aunt is there. Everyone in their village has gone out to work and do business. When you meet something white, you must go home. It turned out that the village was small, and dozens of families were buried to carry coffins up the mountain. The road to the cemetery should be leveled first. When the coffin was carried that day, a group of people, many of whom were twice as many, were able to walk behind, and it took almost forty or fifty years.

When I was a child, I was married for about three days!

I do everything myself, including the banquet.

Then there are definitely not enough tables, chairs and bowls in my house, and then I borrow that table and chair from my neighbor's house. Every bench will put a red note with his name on it. Then gather together one or twenty tables, then everyone eats together, and then many people help to cook and pick vegetables.

Anyway, as long as there are white things at home, then many people will come to help themselves and say that they have something to call.

There are two mistakes in this statement. One is that Redstone doesn't help, which is wrong. As long as Hongshi holds a wedding banquet in the countryside, just like marrying a daughter-in-law, the villagers will come to help and make a scene. It is somewhat arbitrary to say no to help. The other is that people will go back no matter how far they go. This is also wrong. Nowadays, rural people are beginning to smell a little copper smell. They are not white things in the clan, but people don't return with the ceremony. But if they are in the clan, most people will come back. This is the current situation in rural areas.

What the subject may want to express is, why do rural people tend to help white things and ignore red things? What is the reason? Farmer analysis may be caused by the following reasons.

I don't know if you have watched the TV series "Big Rivers" recently. The old books and records in the play can be said to be dedicated to Xiao Lei's family. There are a large number of old books and records from the beginning of dividing fields, to the kiln factory in Houcun, and then to the glory of Xiao Lei family. Later, because he embezzled the interests of the brick factory, he was reported by Four Treasures of the Study, and he was extremely remorseful and finally chose to end his life.

After that, Ji put people's death in the first place, and didn't investigate the mistakes of old Ji Shu. A grand funeral was also held in the village. One of the reasons why I especially like this drama is that it really interprets some humanistic feelings in the countryside, and portrays Xiao Lei's family as the real countryside, with village women gossiping, a bunch of nosy old men, hooligans in the village and many young people with ideas. This kind of countryside is too real. The true rural feelings that even people died for the big ones are also vividly portrayed.

Yes, rural people died miserably. Even if the whole village quarrels with each other, once something goes wrong, most people will put aside their grievances and come to help. And the whole thing is in good order, and all kinds of customs and etiquette are in no hurry. No matter how far away the clan is, they will come back before the day when the old man is buried to see him off for the last time. This is also a respect for the deceased. It's not the ceremony, it's the red. If people don't come back, the ceremony will do.

So no matter how far away, going back is a respect for the dead, and people are dead.

If a rural person is away from home all the year round and the old people in the village die, they always refuse to go back or even accompany them on the grounds of work or other reasons. What will happen to this man's family in the future? Who will help? To put it bluntly, your old man is dead. Can't you carry him out by yourself? It doesn't matter whether it is red or not. You can put wine in the hotel without help, but it's definitely not for nothing.

There is an old saying that "red things please, white things arrive". Since ancient times, white things in rural areas have been paid more attention than red things. This is a kind of inheritance, a reverence for life and a memory of the dead. No one in the village will talk about those who work outside the home. Even if you have a big red envelope, the villagers will gossip as long as you have family members in the village.

Summary: There are three fundamental reasons why rural people attach importance to white things: helping others is helping themselves, which is a kind of inheritance. Personally, I think this custom is still very good, at least it can narrow the distance between people.

The dead are the biggest! This is a tradition in China. People are alive, no matter how big the contradiction is, they will die. Respect the dead. White matter is to see people for the last time, and from then on, life and death will be separated and we will never see each other again. The dutiful son has a wake and can't stay around the coffin. Many people need help outside. In our hometown, it is the custom to ask for help for a wedding, but if it is white, you can't ask for help. The villagers all rely on their own consciousness to help. If there are fewer people, they will say that this family is not popular. The main family has no face and is ugly. Besides, there are few people in your family who are married, and no one will say anything about you. Going to a happy event is icing on the cake, and going to a white event is a timely help. This is a great favor, you don't have to go to the wedding, just wait until the ceremony comes, and you will go back in vain.

Happy events are icing on the cake, and funerals are timely help. Wedding is a happy event that needs everyone's support. * * * We share family happiness. If we are really in a hurry and can't go back, we won't mind the customer sending us a blessing, because what is already happy will not be unhappy because someone doesn't come. Funerals are different. This is a tragedy. Someone in the family died. It is the time when they need comfort from their relatives and friends. This is when they need someone to say something comforting. Moreover, the main family is immersed in grief and needs the help of relatives and friends to arrange the funeral. At this time, if important relatives and friends don't come back, it will be even more chilling.

Photos of the deceased

China values filial piety, while rural people value feelings more. First, everyone has the idea of going back to basics. Although they work in cities, their roots are always in the countryside. Their relatives or people they know are also pinning their feelings and missing the homesickness when they go home after the accident. One is the living habits of a family of thousands of helpers formed in the countryside for thousands of years. The strength of a family is always small. Everyone has an old man, and everyone will encounter sad things, which need mutual help.

Pictures of the upcoming funeral.

Another reason is that there is a custom of funeral in rural areas; There is a saying that when an old man dies, his spirit will stop for a few days. Relatives and friends from generation to generation will kowtow to the spirit one or two days before burial. Relatives of the older generation and grandchildren of the next generation will go, and good friends will definitely come to bid farewell to the deceased. During this period, the filial son and grandson will also bow down and thank relatives and friends for offering this column of incense and this cup of wine to the deceased, thanking them for their friendship.

Photos taken during burial.