Talk about emotional accounts.

101October 18, I am so happy when the notice of Wechat prohibiting bargaining links comes out. I immediately sent a small red envelope to people who often sent me a group, bargaining and speeding up the link. Soon, a friend looked surprised and asked what was going on. I only replied eight words: "The sky is clear and the mood is small and good."

I believe that many people have been troubled by these so-called tests of friendship, and even in some relatives and friends, helping to cut a knife has become a magic weapon to maintain family kinship.

Your second uncle and seventh aunt want to buy a piece of soap for 0 yuan to go home and take a bath, so you can help me cut it or not.

Or early in the morning, when you are busy, you suddenly receive a "hello" link when you just made friends, and then you have never been contacted again, with a sentence: "You can vote for the ticket on the 22nd, and you can take a group of photos of your nephew's first birthday for free".

I'm really in distress situation. I don't know who his nephew is and who my nephew is, and I am responsible.

What he probably doesn't know is that his balance in my "emotional account" has long been insufficient!

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Emotional account is a metaphor of interpersonal relationship. Like a bank account, the premise of withdrawing money is that you have to deposit the money first, but a bank account contains personal trust, value and emotion.

In fact, the handling of interpersonal relationships is essentially the management of emotional accounts, including two indicators. One is the amount of money deposited in the emotional account and the amount of money withdrawn from the emotional account. Only if you save more can you get more.

On the contrary, if you never deposit money in your relationship account, or you want to withdraw more money than you deposit, but you still insist on withdrawing money, it is tantamount to robbing a bank. For you in the other person's emotional account, it is to declare the breakdown of personal trust, personal value and emotional relationship.

Obviously, the friend mentioned above who asked me to vote for my nephew I have never met falls into this category. Anyway, I don't know if my nephew couldn't take a photo of his first birthday because I didn't vote in the end.

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Another kind of people, on the other hand, think that the key to good interpersonal relationship is to cling to please everyone, and finally lose themselves and make themselves exhausted. This kind of interpersonal relationship is not good either, because your relationship is completely out of balance.

And good interpersonal relationships must be mutual release of goodwill. Once the balance between two people is completely broken and the curse has been buried, there will be no good interpersonal relationship.

Just like my point of view, to some extent, the essence of any relationship in this society is business relationship, starting with economic value and then exchanging value.

Only when there is communication can the green hills always exist and the green waters always flow.

Now knowing the two key indicators of operating emotional accounts is equivalent to finding a treasure map, and it becomes a rule to follow when operating.

So what should we do?

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What we have to do is to treat every interaction with others as an emotional account. Specifically, as long as we grasp the following three points:

First, make saving a habit:

"Give someone a rose, and your hand has a lingering fragrance" has never been an empty talk.

When your friends are in trouble, you take the initiative to help them; When a friend is depressed and anxious, accompany him to analyze the problem and give some suggestions; Every time I get a little achievement, I thank every partner of the team for their support and dedication; Moreover, when friends get good grades, they sincerely applaud and wish. ......

These are all examples of emotional account deposits in daily life. The way to deal with interpersonal relationships comes from communication, and the essence of communication is to actively express one's goodwill.

Doing a good deed every day can accumulate good deeds into virtues, and those who gain moral experience are hard to lose people's hearts without God's help.

Second, don't make withdrawals a habit:

Some people who travel frequently are used to looking through the address book carefully every time they go to a city to see if there are any friends who can get together, and even sending a circle of friends to show that they have arrived in this place. I can't wait for all my friends in the world to hear the news and meet each other, no matter whether it's convenient or not, just send a message saying, "I'm here in XXX, let's go out for dinner."

However, have you ever thought that you really won't disturb your friends by inviting them so rashly? Do people really know you that well? There is really so much money in the other person's emotional account, can people temporarily put down their work and life and invite you out for dinner?

Similarly, don't just ask someone to help you bargain, and don't just ask someone to help you canvass for praise. You have to pay back, especially if you haven't learned to save money at will, and one day you can't afford it, that is, when your interpersonal relationship begins to encounter a cold winter and you are left alone.

Third,? Good interpersonal relationships will also cause trouble to each other;

Withdrawing money from the other person without restraint is the killer of managing interpersonal relationships, and so is not giving the other person a chance to deposit money into your emotional account.

Good interpersonal relationship should be mutual help and trouble. For example, I will take care of your pet when you are not at home today, and bring me some small gifts when you come back from your trip tomorrow.

People who only help others and don't allow others to help themselves are also difficult to make friends. Sometimes, even taking the initiative to show weakness and accepting help from others will enhance feelings.

Give and take, long-term sustainable development, high liquidity and strong vitality.

Therefore, if you want to be a master of interpersonal relationships, you must not let others cut a knife, speed up or give you a ticket easily. Remember to manage your emotional account well, keep deposits on hand, be wary of withdrawing money, and ask for help when you are in trouble.