Introduction to Chaoshan wedding customs

Chaoshan wedding customs have certain particularities. In the old days, more emphasis was placed on "clear matchmaking and official recruitment". Although the etiquette and customs vary in complexity and simplicity from place to place, the more consistent formulations and etiquette are: marriage proposal, marriage, engagement, betrothal, asking for a date, and welcoming the bride, commonly known as the "six rites". Some also summarize it into "four rites": wedding, appointment, appointment, and marriage.

1. Proposal: also known as marriage proposal. That is, the matchmaker goes to the man to propose marriage, or the matchmaker first goes to the man to introduce the woman's situation, and then the man approves and then the woman proposes marriage.

2. He Bazi: He Bazi (combined marriage). There are two links in the old custom of intermarriage. After both parties approve the marriage proposal, the matchmaker will write the woman’s name, birth date, place of origin, and three generations of ancestry into Geng Tie. Send it to the man. If there are no accidents or unlucky things in the man's house within three days, such as broken bowls, pots, etc., this is called "three good days". With this good sign, the man agreed to exchange Geng Tie. After changing the Geng Tie, each invites someone to get married to confirm whether the man and woman are compatible with each other or incompatible with each other. If they are incompatible with each other, the marriage will have to be abandoned. Contemporary people advocate free love. Although young men and women have long since gotten rid of the marriage custom of "parents' orders and matchmaker's words", and the old custom of exchanging Geng Tie has been abandoned, many people still retain the link of "combining eight characters".

3. Engagement: After choosing the auspicious "Bazi", it enters the engagement stage, that is, from the man preparing gifts to the woman setting the marriage, also called "() Ding". Gifts are usually gold and silver jewelry such as gold earrings, gold rings, and gold necklaces, as well as sugar and noodles, which are tokens of engagement. The woman must reciprocate the gift. Both men and women should distribute candies and cakes to relatives, friends and neighbors to inform them that the marriage has been decided.

4. Betrothal gift: The betrothal gift will be given after the engagement. Xingpin, also known as send-in. In the past, the betrothal gifts for the rich were gold, silver, colored satin, pigs, sheep, and wine and fruits; for the poor, betel nut (betel nut in Chaoshan dialect refers to green olives) and chicken wine. Chaozhou people regard olives as a symbol of good luck and good fortune, which is a unique betrothal gift. Contemporary betrothal gifts include physical objects and cash. The physical objects must include at least four types: sugar, noodles, Taiji (Teochew mandarin oranges), gold and silver jewelry, clothes and fabrics, cakes, etc., but it cannot be an odd number, it must be an even number. Cash is also called bride price, and it can be divided into one, two or four parts, but they are all multiples. During the betrothal gift, the woman must give a return gift, that is, return the cakes and food in the betrothal gift, and give in return mandarin ducks, bananas, oranges, pig hearts, etc. Mandarin ducks and bananas are bananas that grow side by side, symbolizing a hundred years of longevity together, and also have the meaning of attracting wealth; oranges are homophones of "auspicious", symbolizing good luck; pig hearts (half of which is left on the woman) symbolizes unity. At this time, both parties should solemnly distribute the cakes and snacks from the other party's gifts to relatives, friends and neighbors to report the happy event of the wedding. Relatives, friends and neighbors should also return gifts to express their congratulations. Giving a gift to the bride is called "giving pollen".

5. Choose a date: After the betrothal gift, the man must choose the date of marriage and inform the woman, including informing the woman when to cut the wedding dress, when to "turn face", when to take a bath, and what time to do so. Marry etc. The time chosen by Chaozhou people is mostly late at night. The Chaozhou custom of welcoming brides late at night is indeed a legacy from ancient times. In ancient times, weddings always took place in the evening, so the bride-to-be must be welcomed after dusk, or even late at night.

6. Welcoming: This is the ceremony where the groom goes to the woman’s home to marry the bride, and it is also the most important procedure in the wedding. There are two types of wedding ceremonies in the old days: one is for the groom to welcome the bride, and the other is for the groom to ask a "lucky person" to greet the bride on his behalf. In modern times, most of the time, the groom welcomes the bride himself. During the entire process before and after the wedding, the bride and groom each have to hold some customary activities, including the following aspects:

6.1 Flower washing water: Before the wedding, the bride must use jelly grass, pomegranate flowers, etc. Plant flowers and soak in water to bathe. After bathing, you put on a top with "all five robes in perfect order", also known as "Shang Jiao shirt", which means the five blessings are complete. In some places, after bathing, brides have to sit in the bathtub and eat two hard-boiled eggs to pray for smooth childbirth after marriage. Moreover, the bride cannot sew bags inside or outside the clothes she wears, so as not to take away her parents' luck.

6.2 cents of rice: Before the wedding, the bride must "share the money of rice", that is, divide a lot of rice mixed with coins equally among the brothers and sisters in the family, which means to share the wealth with everyone.

In Haishan Town, Raoping, the custom of dividing money rice is for the mother to put money rice in a dustpan or bamboo sieve, shake the dustpan vigorously, and chant while shaking: "If the dustpan is round, the children and grandchildren will be rich; if the dustpan is evenly divided, next year "Hold a male grandson." Then the money and rice are distributed to each of the bride's brothers and the bride. After taking it, the bride puts it into a specially made belly bag and puts the money and rice in the rice urn of her husband's family.

6.3 Eat half a bowl of rice: In the morning before the bride goes out, her family will cook a four- or nine-course breakfast for the bride to enjoy, which must include boiled pig intestines, pork tripe, braised vegetables and There are four common dishes including haohecai, and the rice given to the bride should be filled to the brim, but the bride can only eat one side (that is, half a bowl), which means that after getting married, there should be enough money to leave to her mother's family.

6.4 Bed-laying: Before welcoming the bride, the groom must hold a solemn "bed-laying" ceremony when decorating the new house. It is important to choose an auspicious day when setting up the bed, and the direction of the head of the bed is also important. After setting up the bed, a couplet saying "Good luck setting the bed" and "Qilin is here" should be pasted on the bed, and then a boy is asked to lie down on the bed for a while, which means that a baby will be born early.

6.5 Picking up the bride: On the wedding day, the groom goes to the bride’s house and takes the bride back by bicycle, motorcycle or car. The bridesmaid and uncle (the bride’s brother) accompany the bride. The uncle should bring gifts to the groom's house. In addition to a pair of male and female roosters, the gift should also include a bottle of lamp oil, which means that the groom will have a baby. Nowadays, some people use cosmetic oil instead of lamp oil. The brother-in-law will receive a warm welcome when he arrives at his in-laws' home.

When getting married, the bride must bring a dowry. The dowry must include lamps, clogs, needlework, mirrors, combs, rulers, rice tubes, straw bellybands (two uprooted strawberries, sedge), etc., and toys for children. , stationery, socks for relatives and friends. Among them, wearing clogs means "growing old together" or "following the same steps"; wearing a comb symbolizes that the bride does things in an orderly manner, just like combing her hair. Nowadays, some people use small quilts for children to fold into the shape of a bellyband, and put straw heads in the quilt to form a straw head bellyband.

6.6 Eating "Five Bowls of Tou" and "Having a Harmonious Family": After entering the bridal chamber, the bride has to eat "Five Bowls of Tou": dragon swordfish, pork liver with boiled onions, stir-fried pork with leeks, meatballs, Sweet bowl – glutinous rice or mashed taro. Place four sweet cups in the four corners of the table, put brown sugar in the cups, and stick a little brown sugar on each dish to make everything sweet from beginning to end. Dragon swordfish symbolizes competence, pork liver and boiled onions symbolize officialdom, intelligence, and reasonableness, leeks symbolize longevity and rapid growth, meatballs symbolize reunion, and sweet bowls symbolize the sweetness of life, all of which are good wishes for good fortune and success. The bride and groom have to sit at both ends of the bed to eat "shared room yuan", that is, eat sweet glutinous rice balls, and after eating half, exchange the rest for the rest.

6.7 Serve sweet tea: At noon on the wedding day, the man invites relatives and friends to a banquet. After the luncheon, the mother-in-law or the groom will take the bride out to serve sweet tea or betel nuts to relatives, friends and guests. When serving tea, the order of generation should be followed strictly. The mother-in-law or the groom should be there to teach the bride one by one: who is this and what is the name of that. When the elders drink a cup of wedding tea, they have to give a red envelope in return, which is commonly known as "face money", and say some blessing words. On the day of the wedding, men and women from the neighbors chatted and laughed, came over to eat wedding candies and see the bride. The bride should give toys and stationery to the children, and socks to relatives and friends.

6.8 Return to the home: On the third day of the wedding, the bride and groom will hold a "return home" ceremony, that is, return to the bride's natal home. The ceremony of "returning to the door" is three consecutive times, commonly known as "returning to the house for the first time", "returning to the house for the second time" and "returning to the house for the third time". During the first two visits to her parents' home, the bride and groom need to have lunch at their parents' home, but must return before cooking dinner. Only the third time can you stay overnight at your parents' home. In some places, the "returning" ceremony is held four months after the wedding.