There is a kind of deception in emotion called good for you

When you were a child, you always wanted to have fun on the weekends, but your parents signed up for various training institutions without permission, saying "I am doing it for your own good, and I can't let you fall at the starting line." Click on." When you grow up, you have your own ideas and want to fill in the application form according to your own hobbies, but your parents take the trouble to tell you: "I do it for your own good, and the prospects for enrolling in this major are good.". After you graduate, you want to stay and work in your favorite big city, but your parents are urging you to go home again and again through the long network cable, saying, "I am doing it for your own good, where can I work?" "You don't have to run so far for work." After your 25th birthday, you want to be free for two years, but your parents are working hard to arrange a blind date for you. In their words, "I am doing this for your own good. Girls will eventually get married." When I was a child, I didn't understand the words "for your own good" from my parents. When I grew up, I realized that this was not simply for your own good, but was tied up with the concept of obvious control. In the eyes of my parents, if I don't accept their "good for you", it means I'm being shameless and I don't accommodate their good intentions. Parents just blindly pile up what they think is "good" on you, often ignoring your intentions and choices. That kind of love is so confusing. But after all, your parents’ standpoint of “being for your own good” is good. If you can carefully communicate with them and let them know that you can control your own food, clothing, housing and transportation, they will also feel free to let you be your true self. Emotion: Compared with the "good for you" from parents, the "good for you" between lovers is chilling. My friend Xiaomei has worked for many years and saved a lot of money. She hopes to start a dessert shop with her friends. She shared her idea with her boyfriend. She thought that her boyfriend would support her, but she didn't expect that he would support her. This is what he said: "Your idea of ??opening a dessert shop is really unrealistic. Some of my friends started their own businesses, but they all lost money, and in the end they had to go back to get off work. I really do it for you. Well, it’s not easy for us to make money. There is really no need to take this risk. You think about it, people will have to spend a lot of money to get married, buy a house, and buy a car in the future..." After hearing what my boyfriend said, the editor's heart dropped. , he said: "My boyfriend was talking about a blind date and marriage with me at this time, but there was no plan to make pocket money, and every month was "moonlight". She said it was for digging, but I think it was just calling for love." Under the guise, I selfishly expect to keep the money I have saved over the years to live with him.” In a relationship, if he is really "for your own good", he will not just talk about it. He will work hard to solve the problem for the sake of our future. Behind every few words of "for your own good", there is a trace of helplessness, which can be expressed as: What you give is not what I want, and you can't give me what I want. "I am doing it for your own good, and you should listen to me." "I am doing it for your own good. If you have been doing well in this company, there is no need to resign." "I am doing it for your own good, and we are already in a relationship. , you don’t have to play with your friends all day long.” I don’t think there is any emotional impact when saying “I am just for your good” alone, but when “I am just for you” is followed by a suggestion, the problem becomes. big. The person who said this not only means that I am doing your best, but also puts forward an "optimal proposal". You have no choice, you must listen to me. I think this means that this kind of disrespectful behavior, under the guise of love, loses the other party's right to choose and judge. This kind of person is selfish because he uses love as a way to control the other party. I still remember that there was a debate question in "Qi Pa Shuo": Is it nonsense to say that I am doing everything for your good? At that time, I applied the affirmative, that is, "I am doing everything for your good. This is nonsense." I think "I'm all for your own good" has no practical meaning. Among them, Chen Yongkai's sentence just expresses my thoughts: "I am just for your own good" applies to any situation. However, if it can be applied to any situation, it actually has no effect and is just a few empty words. Many times, "for your own good" is actually an emotional deception, because no one knows yourself better than you do. Be careful of people around you who tell you similar things, because they are trying to manipulate your thoughts based on their own desire for control. There is a kind of deception in emotions called "for your own good". There is a kind of deception called "for your own good". I still remember that the first time it was our parents who said to us "I am doing this for your own good".

When you were a child, you always wanted to have fun on Saturdays and Sundays, but your parents privately signed up for various training courses, euphemistically saying, "I am doing this for your own good and can't let you lose at the starting line." When you grow up, you have your own thoughts and want to fill in the application form according to your own preferences, but your parents tell us sincerely: "I am doing this for your own good. Applying for this major has good prospects.". After you graduate from college, you want to stay and work hard in your favorite city, but your parents persuade you to go home again and again over a long phone line, saying, "I'm doing this for your own good. Working anywhere is not a job. You have to." Run so far." After your 25th birthday, you still want to be free for a few more years, but your parents are working hard to help you arrange a blind date. In their words, "I am doing this for your own good. Girls will get married sooner or later." When I was a child, I didn’t understand the phrase “for your own good” from my parents. When I grew up, I realized that this was not simply for your own good, but an ideological kidnapping with a strong desire for control. In the eyes of your parents, if you don't accept their "good for you", you have no conscience and you don't understand their good intentions. Parents just blindly pile what they think is "good" on you, often ignoring your wishes and choices. This kind of love puts people in a dilemma. But after all, your parents’ starting point is good. If you can patiently communicate with them and let them know that you can control your own life, they will feel free to let you go your own way. Compared with the "good for you" from parents, the "good for you" between lovers is even more chilling. My friend Xiaomei has worked for several years and saved a sum of money, hoping to start a dessert shop with her friends. She shared her idea with her boyfriend. She thought he would support her, but what she didn’t expect was What he said: "Your idea of ??opening a dessert shop is really unrealistic. Some of my friends started entrepreneurship, but they all lost money, and in the end they had to go back to work in the company. I really do it for you. Okay, it’s not easy for us to make money. There’s really no need to take this risk. Think about it, we’ll have to spend a lot of money to get married, buy a house, and buy a car...” After hearing what her boyfriend said, Xiaomei’s heart dropped. Halfway through, she said: "My boyfriend is talking to me about marriage at this time, but he has never planned to save money. He just "moonshines" every month. He said he was doing it for my own good, but in fact it was just in the name of love. Selfishly, I hope I can save the money I have saved over the years to live with him.” In love, if he is really "good for you", he will not just talk about it, but he will take practical actions for your future. Behind every sentence "for your own good", there are countless traces of helplessness. The explanation is: What you give me is not what I want, and you can't give me what I want. "I'm doing it for your own good, so you should listen to me." "I'm doing it for your own good. If you do well in this company, don't resign." "I'm doing it for your own good. We're already in love, so Don’t hang out with your friends all day long.” “I’m doing it for your own good” alone doesn’t have any emotional ups and downs, but when combined with “I’m doing it for your own good” and followed by a suggestion, it becomes very problematic. The person who said this not only stated that I am doing your best, but also made a "best suggestion". You have no choice, you must listen to me. In fact, this is a disrespectful approach, depriving the other person of the right to choose and judge in the name of love. This kind of person is selfish because he uses love as a means of manipulating the other person. I remember there was a debate question in "Qi Pa Shuo": Is this sentence nonsense? At that time, I supported the positive side, that is, the sentence "I am doing everything for your own good" is nonsense. I think the words "I'm all for your own good" actually have no substantive meaning. One of the words by Chen Yongkai expresses my thoughts exactly: "I am doing it for your own good" is applicable to any situation. However, if it can be applied to any situation, it essentially has no effect and is nonsense. Many times, "for your own good" is essentially an emotional deception, because no one knows yourself better than you do. Be careful of people around you who say things like these to you, because they are trying to manipulate your thoughts in order to satisfy their own desire for control.