Make you laugh until you have no integrity. Tell me something interesting.

1, I want to get married when I see my head.

2, there is a story, the beginning is horrible, the middle is funny, and the end is tragic: once upon a time, there was a ghost who farted and died.

3. Chinese partner, a good man in China.

I am decadent, but my surface is deep.

I am a person who wears short-sleeved vest, slippers and canvas and then travels all over the world.

6. Baidu can't find you. Sogou will come out at one o'clock.

7, the teacher is good, the teacher is early, and the teacher does not take a bath every day.

8. Don't worry about what is taken away. All that can be taken away is rubbish.

9. Minimum goal: Nongfu Spring has a little field.

10, it's hard to imagine how ancient people without mobile phones shit.

1 1, I love you if you let the whole world love you.

12, what is Terunsu filled with yogurt?

13, the computer abused me thousands of times. I treat computers like my first love.

14, those with tattoos are afraid of heat, and those with apples have no pockets.

15, never compete with animals ~ win? You are worse than an animal. Lost? You are worse than an animal. Tied? You are no different from animals.

16, I'm so pure that I even told my brother Hou Yi.

37, I can tell from your appearance that your parents don't take you seriously!

38. A woman asks a man: Do you love me? Man: Love! W: Then you say that I am everything to you. ! M: Yes! You are my concubine! ! !

39, new hatred and old hatred, and this endless sadness will last forever.

40. I don't know what a good screen name is, but I can't afford it.

4 1. Excuse me, teacher, can I skip class? Didn't you say that you should respect the old and love the young? Didn't you say you'd be bored to death to see us? Then I'll let you see me.

42. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but that I am in Sina Weibo and you are in Tencent Weibo.

43. It's time to show your legs again. Of the ten boys, ten are longer than girls, nine are thinner than girls, eight are white and seven are straight.

44. Brother, can you show me your confession again? Your appearance blinded my golden dog's eyes.

45. You can try to say "actually …" to a opposite sex on the phone, then pause for a while, and then say "Forget it, it's nothing, go to bed early"

46. Think about how to deal with your parents. Will they throw a lot of money at me and tell me to get out of here? ! Should I accept it or not? ! How embarrassing ...

47. I will arrive in a few minutes. If I don't arrive, please read this message again. ...

48. Walking in the street that day, a MM told me, Brother, you are so handsome. I slapped her and angrily said that you are not talking nonsense, right?

49. The annual sales volume of fragrant milk tea can circle the earth. The beef noodles in Lanzhou smiled: I tell you, Lao Tzu's sales can turn the earth into a wool ball.

50. The chemistry teacher asked, "What about the gas leak at home?" Stand up and say, "Have a cigarette and calm down."

5 1, jump instruction: leave a note to the sixth floor; Want to be disabled to the fifth floor; To be hospitalized to the fourth floor; Only scary to the third floor; Fight martial arts to the second floor; Please go to the first floor to watch the excitement.

52. Recently, my classmates bought a Taishan Zhai machine to show off its long standby time of 100 days. Then one day, there was no electricity. Let's take a closer look at the box of the mobile phone, which says "super long"

53, there is a kind of quiet, call the teacher. ...

54. Do I know you well? Just play a video if it's okay. Think of it as your TV. When you press it, people come out.

55. Teacher Bao, why is there light on your forehead? Because I don't understand the darkness of my day.

Make people laugh. Tell me about it.

1, some people are still alive and he is dead; Some people are alive, and he should have died.

2, acacia is less sleepy, and unrequited love is not old; Flirt to solve troubles, spend heart to practice brain; Cheating is good for the heart, and picking up girls is anti-aging.

3. I had a crush on you for 25 years, and when I finally got up the courage to confess to you, you said that we were all young …

4. A boy secretly loves a girl. He bravely asked the girl what kind of boy she likes. Girls answer, boys are discouraged: can you have a flat head?

5. Secret love is one person's adultery, and ambiguity is an excuse for two people.

6. Those who secretly love me, how can you be so calm!

7, philandering and practicing the brain, being in a good mood to derail, picking up girls to fight aging, flirting to solve troubles, unrequited love is not old, and lovesickness is less sleepy.

8. I think there must be many people who secretly love me, because no one has confessed to me for so many years.

9. It's interesting to be alive.

10, how can I put it? There are still a few people who have a crush on me, and I know it.

1 1. You don't want a brother or a boyfriend without money.

12 brother, I'll throw a brick first. If there is corn, break it.

13, brothers meet and drink, and go home to help the wall together.

14, I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I streaked in too many chefs for more than ten years.

15, be my brother for nine years and rob my two girlfriends! Awesome!

16, we should live well, because we will die for a long time …

17, brother, I'm busy now. If you need anything, just call my secretary at 10086 and they will help you solve it.

18, I have two serious illnesses: I miss school at home and my family at school.

19, don't say "actually, you're fine" to me when we break up, then you still dump me. ...

20, brother, I'll throw a brick first, and I'll come if I have jade.

2 1, let's break up. I don't deserve you because you are a QQ member.

22, power failure, called my brother to complain that he was not online, and my brother said a gorgeous sentence: I just know to watch TV online.

23. Who says that men are stronger than women and have the ability to let men have a child?

24. What is a real brother? Is to stand up and be his woman when my brother needs a woman.

25, life since ancient times, no shit, see you use paper instead of paper.

26. Women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Who wants to run naked all the time?

27. Everyone is born primitive. Sadly, many people have gradually become pirates!

28. life You can't just breathe and fart.

29. I shook my head after breaking up and my wig was thrown out.

30. There are always some people who value stars more than their mothers.

3 1, stars are just like dried tofu, they are all fried.

32. Living wastes air, dying wastes land, and dying wastes RMB!

33. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. You five brothers! ! Do what you have to do. ...

34. A woman is uglier than her right hand! When I came into this world, I didn't intend to go back alive!

I really don't want to despise you with my toes. But, man, you made me do it.

I just want a birthday present. Not too demanding: I enlarged the photo and hung it on Tiananmen Square.

37. Sisters are brothers and men are clothes. If anyone touches my sister, I'll tear his clothes.

38. Some people are wearing cotton trousers, and he has frozen to death. Someone is wearing black stockings. She is still alive.

39. Everyone says that women are like clothes; Brothers are like brothers. Today is my half-year anniversary of streaking.

40. Brothers, cover your crotch and respect others' crotch.

4 1, sisters are most innocent when they fall in love with a man, but this man falls in love with another man!

42. Festivals when men send flowers to women: Valentine's Day, Women's Day, Mother's Day, Qixi, Christmas and her birthday. Festival when women send flowers to men: Tomb-Sweeping Day.

43. Your birthday turned into a sad day for me.

44. What bad luck. I held a parent-teacher conference on my birthday. My mother must have chased me with a kitchen knife when she came back …

45, sisters! Where are so many white horses? Find a donkey and make do with it!

46. If I die of a fever in Henan, my brothers remember to collect the body. Thank you! There must be air conditioning in the coffin. ...

47. If you want to call, I will. My brothers are all Altman.

48. Today is MM's birthday. In order to be the first to send my blessing, I picked up my mobile phone on time early in the morning and sent a message: sofa.

49. My brother said that not every girl can wear stockings.

50. Heroes don't ask for a way out, and mamg flows regardless of age.

Makes you laugh completely immoral. Funny, tell jokes

1, a buddy wanted to get married, but his father didn't agree, so he knelt down and asked, Dad, just agree! His father said trembling, let's be father and son.

Yesterday, when I went to check in with my girlfriend for the first time, I met the police. What could be more tragic? God replied: Yes, the police asked your girlfriend in front of you, why is it always you?

The ship hit the rocks in the sea and was about to sink. The passengers made a hullabaloo about, but only one passenger was munching on biscuits. Everybody say, what time is it? How can you afford it? The passenger replied plausibly: my stomach is not very good, and the doctor told me not to drink water on an empty stomach!

In art class, the teacher asked the students to draw self-portraits. I saw a female classmate next to me holding a compass. Out of curiosity, I asked: What's the use of your compass? She gave me a white look: draw a face.

5. I still remember when I was a freshman in military training, the instructor called a buddy, and he said, Gigi, that buddy shouted, hey, the instructor shouted again, and the goods shouted, hey, so the instructor rushed over and said, hey, your sister! Are you a eunuch? Burying his face, the buddy looked at the instructor innocently and said, that's Zhe, Zhe, Zhe, hahaha, leave me alone and let me laugh for a while.

6. Me: Doctor, my wife always talks nonsense when she is in ML. Is this normal? Doctor: Hello, this is normal! When a woman GC, she is in a coma! Nonsense is to express the degree of excitement and help your interest! Me: Oh! I thought it was wrong for my wife to keep calling the name of Lao Wang next door! Thank you, doctor.

7. Once I met a person and asked another person for directions. The man stammered, Excuse me, how can I get to Jianshe Road? The other party ignored him and asked him several times, regardless of the road ahead. I was surprised to ask that person: What do you mean by saying nothing when someone asks for directions? As a result, the man replied, I, I show him the way, will he think I am imitating him?

8. In the training match with the women's football team, the opposing defender shoveled me in the restricted area, but the referee didn't blow. I felt that there was nothing to care about with girls, so I got up and patted my ass and left. Who knows that I was shown a yellow card by the referee! Forget it, learn from a bitter experience and never pat anyone's ass again.

9. master 55 kg before going to the toilet, or 55 kg after going to the toilet. What happened? According to Newton's theorem: the principle of constant mass, you forgot to take off your pants.

10, I went to a company for an interview in the morning. The personnel manager asked me: Why did you leave your last company? I said: Man struggles upwards, but water flows downwards. Yes, you have a good eye. They said I was a parallel import, so I went to your company.

1 1. I just took the bus and a girl came up from the back door. Pass me a bus card as soon as you get on the bus. At that time, my brain withdrew: this is not mine! Then the handsome guy next to him took the card and handed it to the front to brush it. The two chatted all the way, leaving each other's mobile phones and WeChat. ...

12. Today, my colleagues and I went to the supermarket to buy toothpaste. The sister paper salesman said we should use this. Yellow teeth whitening, quite suitable for you. As a result, my colleague immediately got angry and opened his mouth and said, do you think my teeth are yellow? Is it yellow? Sister paper took a step back in fear and said, it's not yellow, or you can use this to get rid of bad breath.

13. I just made a girlfriend recently. She introduced me to her girl friends. This is my boyfriend. How's it going? The best friend said: How did you find such an ugly one? The girlfriend said angrily, how can you do this? It is impolite to say it in front of people! My best friend smiled and said to her, I didn't tell you.

14, swimming was kicked by a child, my old waist. His father yelled at him: Say sorry. The child is extremely wronged: I didn't mean to. Dad patted him directly on the forehead and continued to shout: I'm sorry, I don't understand, do I? Child: Sorry. Dad was even angrier: Tell my aunt, not me. Child sniffles: I'm sorry, sister. I immediately said to his father: the child is really sensible, forget it.

15, walking on the sidewalk, suddenly a car came towards me like it was out of control. When I saw that the driver was a female driver, I used my quick wits and shouted, Hit me! The panicked female driver nodded and ran into a telephone pole.

16, after a hard day, it's finally done! I looked at the car carefully this morning and tested it. Porsche 9 1 1 now I have a car, and I feel ok. In the afternoon, I went to see a house, a single-family villa, and the price was ok. 380 square meters, there is a garden at the door, you can park. The discount has been agreed. Now everything is ready, except for the two-color ball. If you miss it, the day will be wasted!

17, I had a whim a few days ago, sorted out some QQ friends who haven't been online for a long time, and found one who hasn't been online for more than three years. His last signature was that since he bought insurance, he didn't have to look around when crossing the road. I suddenly became quiet.

18, some time ago, I went to the seaside to play. Later, I drank a bottle of orange juice and had an urgent need to urinate. I found a place to solve it, and then I saw a face on the beach when the urine washed away. Don't say that. My face still hurts.

19. My husband bought a fish and asked his wife to cook it. Then he went to the movies by himself. My wife wants to go too. Husband: It's a waste of money for two people to watch. You cook fish. When I come back from reading it, I will share the story with you while eating. When the husband came back from reading it, he asked his wife if she had seen the fish: Where is the fish? My wife calmly found a chair and sat down and said, I do eat fish. Come on, sit down, and I'll tell you about the taste of fish.

20. A man went to buy a painting by Qi Baishi, and the boss gave him a pair. The man said that it was fake at first glance. The boss said: the fake one will give you ten times the price. This person can think about it and buy it. Later, it was taken to an expert for identification and proved to be false. He went to the boss, and the boss said, this is true. Later, the man was ready to call the police, only to see the boss slowly take out his ID card Qi Baishi.

2 1, a: the decoration of the goddess' house is very simple, b: yo! Have you been to the goddess' house? A: I haven't been there! B: Then how do you know that people's homes are poorly decorated? Last time I suggested going to her house, she said no way.

22. We have the custom of getting married and disturbing the groom here. Trouble, in fact, is to make money. Generally, the groom has a red envelope in his pocket, and then everyone reaches for it. My buddy is a cruel man. On his wedding day, the trouser pocket of his suit was cut. Not to mention, he hasn't worn pants yet. Then I saw a big girl and a little daughter-in-law, scrambling to reach for his trouser pocket, but she didn't speak when she finished.

23. One day, on the bus, a lady left her seat to buy a ticket. When I came back, I found that my seat was occupied by another woman. I was very unwilling and said loudly: It's not easy to lay eggs, but it takes up the nest quickly. When the woman sitting in the seat heard this, she quickly stood up and said with a smile: I'm sorry for delaying your laying!

24. A driver is driving a truck full of hens, teasing his parrot while driving. When a beautiful woman hitchhiked, the driver put the parrot and the hen together in the cargo box and let the beautiful woman sit in the cab. After driving for a while, the driver tentatively asked the beauty, can I kiss you? The beauty shook her head shyly and said, no, after waiting for a while, the driver reluctantly asked, can I have a hug? The beauty still shook her head and said, no, the driver said angrily, if not, she would go down. After driving for a while, the driver felt that his behavior was very ungentlemanly, so he went back and invited the beautiful woman to get on the bus. After driving for a while, the driver asked again, May I kiss you? Beauty still shook her head. Can you give her a hug? Beauty still shakes her head, or she will go down. This was repeated three times, and finally I got to the chicken farm. The driver opened the suitcase and found that there were few hens in Miu Miu. Only the parrot mentioned a hen and asked, can a beautiful woman kiss me? The hen shook her head desperately, and the parrot asked, can you hug me? The hen still shook her head. The parrot said, if not, go down. The hen was thrown out of the car. ......

25. On the bus, a modern girl wore a low-cut dress and an airplane necklace. As soon as a young man got on the bus, he stared at the plane on the neck chain. So the girl couldn't help but ask curiously, do you like this necklace, sir? The man replied, oh! No, I'm just admiring the airstrip.

26. A girl works in an IT company. One morning, the weather was so fine that the IT girl was so absorbed in her work that she didn't even notice that her skirt was caught in a drawer. When she stood up, her skirt hissed and was torn. Colleagues have all heard about fame, and IT girls quickly picked up an IT magazine around them to cover it. Unexpectedly, my colleagues burst into laughter. It turns out that the cover of the magazine is an online game advertisement: super capacity, which can accommodate100000 users at the same time. IT girl picked up another magazine. Colleagues laughed again. The cover of this magazine is Antivirus Software: Beware of Viruses. IT girls are going to faint. She fainted when she picked up the third magazine. The third magazine is a hardware magazine, and the cover is a U disk advertisement: plug and play. In a daze, I still remember to protect the key parts, so I pulled the fourth magazine to cover it. When I woke up, I saw a shopping guide magazine, which read: 30% off! Faint again.

27. A: My wife read the book "Hate Brothers" and gave birth to twins. B: That's nothing. After watching Dumas' three musketeers, my wife gave birth to triplets. Oh, my God, how is that possible? My wife is watching Alibaba and the Forty Thieves!

On the 28th, one day, the school was cleaned. Plmm clean the window. Because the window is relatively high, I stand on the table, but the glass below can't be cleaned. I passed by and mm shouted to wipe under me. I'm scared. Ask where? Mm said under me, please help me clean up. The whole class burst into laughter.

29. Tang Priest: You should find a shortcut to learn from the scriptures this time! Wukong: Flying is faster than riding! Bajie: Shenzhou VI is faster! Friar Sand pulled out his gun and said, I heard this thing will be sent to the west at once.

30. My wife was pecked by a rooster and was very angry. She ran after the rooster and was exhausted. My husband dissuaded me and chased the hen with a broom. The wife was puzzled, and the husband explained: it bullied my wife and I cleaned her up.

3 1. One day, the geography teacher asked the students, where does this river go? A student suddenly stood up and sang: The river flows eastward. The teacher ignored him and then said, how many stars are there in the sky? That classmate sang again: the stars in the sky can participate in Beidou. The teacher is short of breath: get out! Student: Just leave. The teacher said helplessly, are you sick? Student: You have everything I have! Teacher: Try again .. Student: Shout when you see an uneven road! Teacher: Do you believe I hit you? Student: Do it when you should. Teacher: I told you to quit school! Student: Rush into Kyushu!

32. The farmer drove the donkey into the city and met a rogue. The rogue asked: Have you eaten? The farmer said: Eat! The rogue said: I asked the donkey! The farmer turned and slapped the donkey and said, It's dishonest to give it to Lao Zi! There are relatives in the city who left without saying goodbye! ~~~

33. I'm sorry for texting you so late. If it bothers you, I want to tell you-that's too bad! Who told you to go to bed earlier than me, hehe

34. An escaped prisoner was brought back. The policeman asked: Why did you escape from prison? Answer: Because the food tastes terrible. Ask again: Then what tool did you use to pry open the iron gate of the prison? A: Fried dough sticks in the morning.

35. Pig Bajie was making out with Chang 'e on the moon when suddenly a dark shadow passed by. Pig Bajie hurried out with a rake and came back after a while and said, Damn it, Yang Liwei. ......

Funny jokes make you laugh and tell jokes.

1, Pig Bajie was making out with Chang 'e on the moon when suddenly a shadow passed by. Pig Bajie hurried out with a rake and came back after a while, saying, Damn it, Yang Liwei. ......

2. One day, on the bus, a lady left her seat to buy a ticket. When I came back, I found that my seat was occupied by another woman. I was very unwilling and said loudly: It's not easy to lay eggs, but it takes up the nest quickly. When the woman sitting in the seat heard this, she quickly stood up and said with a smile: I'm sorry for delaying your laying!

3. A man kept a parrot. The parrot was so strong that all the other birds in it were killed by it. Later, the master brought back an eagle and put it together. When the owner came to see it, the parrot's hair hung outside the cage. The host said: Not this time. But when you look closely, the eagle is dead, and the parrot says naked, this grandson is really amazing. You can't beat Yating without taking off your arm.

A driver is driving a truck full of hens, teasing his parrot while driving. When a beautiful woman hitchhiked, the driver put the parrot and the hen together in the cargo box and let the beautiful woman sit in the cab. After driving for a while, the driver tentatively asked the beauty, can I kiss you? The beauty shook her head shyly and said, no, after a while, the driver reluctantly asked, can I have a hug? The beauty still shook her head and said, no, the driver said angrily, if not, she would go down. After driving for a while, the driver felt that his behavior was very ungentlemanly, so he went back and invited the beautiful woman to get on the bus. After driving for a while, the driver asked again, May I kiss you? Beauty still shook her head. Can you give her a hug? Beauty still shakes her head, or she will go down. This was repeated three times, and finally I got to the chicken farm. The driver opened the suitcase and found that there were few hens in Miu Miu. Only the parrot mentioned a hen and asked, can a beautiful woman kiss me? The hen shook her head desperately, and the parrot asked, can you hug me? The hen still shook her head. The parrot said, if not, go down. The hen was thrown out of the car. ......

On the bus, a modern girl wore a low-cut dress and an airplane necklace. As soon as a young man got on the bus, he stared at the plane on the neck chain. So the girl couldn't help but ask curiously, do you like this necklace, sir? The man replied, oh! No, I'm just admiring the airstrip.

6. A girl works in an IT company. One morning, the weather was so fine that the IT girl was so absorbed in her work that she didn't even notice that her skirt was caught in a drawer. When she stood up, her skirt hissed and was torn. Colleagues have all heard about fame, and IT girls quickly picked up an IT magazine around them to cover it. Unexpectedly, my colleagues burst into laughter. It turns out that the cover of the magazine is an online game advertisement: super capacity, which can accommodate100000 users at the same time. IT girl picked up another magazine. Colleagues laughed again. The cover of this magazine is Antivirus Software: Beware of Viruses. IT girls are going to faint. She fainted when she picked up the third magazine. The third magazine is a hardware magazine, and the cover is a U disk advertisement: plug and play. In a daze, I still remember to protect the key parts, so I pulled the fourth magazine to cover it. When I woke up, I saw a shopping guide magazine, which read: 30% off! Faint again.

7. A: My wife read the book "Hate Brothers" and gave birth to twins. B: That's nothing. After watching Dumas' three musketeers, my wife gave birth to triplets. Oh, my God, how is that possible? My wife is watching Alibaba and the Forty Thieves!

8. One day, the school was cleaned. Plmm clean the window. Because the window is relatively high, I stand on the table, but the glass below can't be cleaned. I passed by and mm shouted to wipe under me. I'm scared. Ask where? Mm said under me, please help me clean up. The whole class burst into laughter.

9. Tang Priest: You should find a shortcut to learn from the scriptures this time! Wukong: Flying is faster than riding! Bajie: Shenzhou VI is faster! Friar Sand pulled out his gun and said, I heard this thing will be sent to the west at once.

10, my wife was pecked by a rooster and was very angry. She was panting after the rooster. My husband dissuaded me and chased the hen with a broom. The wife was puzzled, and the husband explained: it bullied my wife and I cleaned her up.

1 1. One day, the geography teacher asked the students, where does this river go? A student suddenly stood up and sang: The river flows eastward. The teacher ignored him and then said, how many stars are there in the sky? That classmate sang again: the stars in the sky can participate in Beidou. The teacher is short of breath: get out! Student: Just leave. The teacher said helplessly, are you sick? Student: You have everything I have! Teacher: Try again .. Student: Shout when you see an uneven road! Teacher: Do you believe I hit you? Student: Do it when you should. Teacher: I told you to quit school! Student: Rush into Kyushu!

12, the farmer drove the donkey into the city and met a rogue. The rogue asked: Have you eaten? The farmer said: Eat! The rogue said: I asked the donkey! The farmer turned and slapped the donkey and said, It's dishonest to give it to Lao Zi! There are relatives in the city who left without saying goodbye! ~~~

13, I'm sorry to send you a message so late. If you feel troubled, I want to tell you here-that's too bad! Who told you to go to bed earlier than me, hehe

14, an escaped prisoner was arrested, and the police asked: Why did you escape from prison? Answer: Because the food tastes terrible. Ask again: Then what tool did you use to pry open the iron gate of the prison? A: Fried dough sticks in the morning.

15 Autumn is the harvest season. The harvest of others is success and happiness, and your harvest is to realize that not everyone will be successful and happy.

16, at night, when my wife heard her husband crying, she woke him up and asked, What's wrong with you? My husband rubbed his eyes and said, I dreamed that I was married again. Wife is happy: Great. Why are you crying? The husband said with a bitter face, but the bride is still you. . .

17, stew rice at noon and ask my husband: Do you want soft rice or hard rice? My husband looked at me disdainfully and said, "It sounds like you can stew meat. I wish I was cooked. "

18, wife: which team is playing here? Husband: France hits Nigeria. Wife: Is this the Super League? Husband: World Cup. Wife: What about the China team? Husband: Watching TV like you. Wife: Why don't you go up and play? Husband: FIFA won't let me. Wife: Is it because of Diaoyu Island? Husband: Because the level is not good. Wife: Isn't there a Yao Ming? Husband: Get out.

19, honey, it's so hot today. Why don't we go out and find a place to play? Ok, where do you want to find a cool place to play with water? Turn on the air conditioner and wash clothes.

20. I knew it was so difficult to get into the incubation university! I won't report it, complained a rooster.

2 1, you won't have a friend's electric fan talking to the air conditioner when you are so cold.

22.a: Why is the manhole cover round? B: If it's square, you must ask why it's square again. Then it must have a shape.

23. The pilgrim asked the abbot: What made you abandon the mortal world and become a monk in the temple? The abbot smiled and said, Because of my cat. The pilgrim was puzzled and asked, What does this have to do with cats? The abbot said flatly that when I was young, my business failed and I was penniless, so I cried to my cat. I asked the cat where should I stay? The cat looked up and said to me, Miao!

24. At the end of dinner with friends, no one wants to pay the bill. I stood up and said, well, to be fair, I'll hide, and whoever finds me first will pay, okay?

When I get up in the morning to pump up my bike, I can't help feeling sad. When I have money, such as MD, I will buy an electric inflatable one, so I don't have to be so tired anymore!

26. People are divided into two categories: one is frugal and seems to live forever; The other is as extravagant as if he is going to die tomorrow.

27. My wife ran away from home because I often beat her, which made me feel very sorry. Why didn't I break her leg?

28. If people don't eat what they like, they will offend their mouth, stomach and heart at the same time. How can you live happily when you offend so many organs at once?

29. Physical beauty is really important, but physical beauty alone is not enough. We should also sympathize with those who are not beautiful in appearance.

30. My neighbor's cooking these two days is always full of the smell of oil smoke, which has been floating into my room, making me very annoyed. I really shouldn't have broken the glass in his kitchen last week.

3 1, would you please give me a big hug? Well, even a little hug can't hug you.

Cut class, a boy in the class, went out to play ball. After the class teacher found out, he was blocked at the door of the classroom. When the boys came back, the class was almost over. The teacher asked: Where have you been? The boy calmly replied: The teacher pointed to his sweat when he went to the toilet and asked: What is this? The boy held back for a while and said, teacher. . . I am constipated and suffocated.

33. There is a tease B on the wall of the school toilet, leaving a message: XXX is coming. . . As a result, I found another sentence on the wall the next morning: Did you have a good time swimming in the urinal? Isn't it delicious? ! !

I woke up in the middle of the night and suddenly saw a little red light in the distance. Alas, I forgot to turn off the power again. Press it with your hand, damn it! There is no burnt mosquito-repellent incense. .

I go to work by bus today. A little girl came to me and said, Uncle, can you give me a seat? Seeing the little girl in MengMeng, I gave her my seat as a gentleman, expecting her response. Unexpectedly, she said: Uncle, although you are not good-looking, you are quite sensible.

After leaving the bed, my son always wants to find a reason to sleep with his mother. Once, my son slept in an adult's bed. Mother asked him why he didn't go to bed by himself, and his son said cunningly, I can't sleep alone. I want to find a woman to accompany me.

37. My father was shaving this morning, and my mother said, why do you always shave every day when you have nothing to do? Dad replied: if it doesn't show my face, I won't show it!

38. My mother said to me: When you go out in the future, don't call me mom, call me sister. Me: Why? Mom smiled: That makes me look so young! Dad came to him and said, to look young, just call me grandma.

39. Buy fruit. The boss said: five apples and a 20 yuan. I thought it was expensive, so I said: Can you reduce it a little? The boss said, OK, four 20 yuan.

40. The man was dusting the signboard, and as a result, he tore it off and fell to the ground, breaking in half. The boss's face changed as soon as he saw it. The man said anxiously, Boss, this is a good sign. Boss: What's a good omen? ! Dude: Opening a branch is a good sign.

4 1. I just threw the garbage into the trash can upstairs and downstairs, but it was thrown outside. Uncle cleaner saw it, looked up and asked, why did you throw garbage downstairs? ! Me: I can't throw it because I threw it upstairs.

42. Today, a guest came to my shop for dinner. While eating, I said: Why is there no air conditioner in your shop? I pointed behind him and said, isn't that the air conditioner behind you? Didn't you see that big vertical air conditioner? He looked back and said, damn it! It looks like a refrigerator.