Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - Chapter 24: Wang Po takes bribes and talks about romance, Brother Yun is not angry and makes trouble at the tea shop (5)

Chapter 24: Wang Po takes bribes and talks about romance, Brother Yun is not angry and makes trouble at the tea shop (5)

Bringing money to buy wine to reward the treacherous, but giving away the wife for nothing.

Let’s say that Mrs. Wang’s plan has been decided to bring Pan Jinlian home. After dinner the next day, Wu Da Zi went out, and Mrs. Wang came over to greet her. Go to his room, take out the bag, and sew it up. Mrs. Wang ordered tea and ate it herself, without further ado. Looking at the middle of the day, the woman took out a lot of money, gave it to Wang Po and said: Godmother, I will buy you a glass of wine. ? Wang Po said: ? Oh! There is such a truth! How can I teach my wife to make money in such a wrong way when I live here with my wife? My wife’s food and drinks are not enough to hurt my wife! ? The woman said: ? But it is clumsy. The husband pays slaves, and if his godmother comes to see him, he just leaves the house to work for his godmother. After hearing this, the mother-in-law said repeatedly: "Dalang Zhizhen knows what's going on. Since the lady said this, I can accept it now." ? This woman was afraid of disturbing this matter, so she added more money to buy some good wine, food, and strange fruits to treat her courteously. The judge heard that women in the world, even if you are 18 or 18, can be manipulated by someone's petty actions, and 10 or 10 of them will fall into the trap. Besides, Mrs. Wang arranged snacks, treated the woman to wine and food, and then sewed for a while. After seeing how late she was, she returned home with many thanks.

Don’t bother talking. After breakfast on the third day, Wang Po only went out with Zhang Wu, then walked behind and shouted: "Madam, I am brave." The woman came down from upstairs and said, "I'm waiting for you." When the two men met, they came to Wang Po's room and sat down, taking out their living clothes to sew. The woman then ordered some tea and the two of them ate. The woman looked around until around noon. But Ximen Qingba didn't arrive until that day, so he put on a new turban, a neat set of clothes, and took three to five taels of silver with him and came to Zishi Street. When he got to the door of the tea house, he coughed and said: "Mother Wang Qian, why haven't you seen me for days?" The woman looked at the subject and responded: "Who is calling me?" Ximen Qing said: "It's me." The woman rushed out to see it and said with a smile: "I only knew who it was, but it turned out to be the benefactor, a high-ranking official." You came just in time. Please go in and take a look. He dragged Ximen Qing's sleeves into the room, looked at the woman and responded hurriedly: "This is the benefactor, the official who wears this material." When Ximen Qing saw the woman, he sang a song.

The woman responded hurriedly: Yes, yes. ?Let go of life and return all blessings. But Wang Po used this woman to say to Ximen Qing: "It's rare for an official to be as good as the old man. I've been free for a year and haven't done it yet." Now I have to kill this lady again, and I am done with her. It is true that a cloth machine is also like a good needle and thread, dense and fine, which is actually rare. Sir, please take a look. ?Ximen Qing stood up, looked at the applause, and said: ?How can this lady pass on such a good life, such a fairy-like method!? The woman smiled and said: ?Officials should not joke around. Ximen Qing asked Wang Po: "Godmother, I dare not ask whose wife this is?" Wang Po said: "I am a high official, guess what?" ?Ximen Qing said: ?How can a villain guess? Wang Po smiled and said: "She is Wu Dalang's wife in the next room." ?Ximen Qingdao: ?Turns out she is Wu Dalang's wife. The villain only recognized Da Lang as a broker who supported the family, and he did some business on the street, large and small, and he never wronged anyone. He is good at making money and has a good character. This kind of person is really rare. Wang Po said: "You can know the inside." Ever since I married this young man, my wife has always been there for me when things happen. ?The woman responded: ?A clumsy man is a useless person, and officials should not laugh at him. ?Ximen Qing said: ?The lady is wrong! The ancients said: ?Softness is the foundation of a person, and strength is the womb of trouble. ?Like a lady's husband, when he does good deeds, there is not a drop of water in the ten thousand feet. ?Wang Po played the hunting drum and said: ?That's right. ? Ximen Qing rewarded him once and sat down opposite the woman. Wang Po said again: "Madam, do you recognize this official?" The woman said: "I don't recognize him." The mother-in-law said: "This senior official is a property of this county. The county magistrate also associates with him. He is called Ximen senior official." With tens of millions of dollars, he opened a herbal medicine shop in front of the county. The money at home is more than the Big Dipper, and the rice is rotten in the warehouse. The red ones are gold, the white ones are silver, the round ones are pearls, and the shiny ones are treasures. There are also horns on the heads of rhinos and tusks in the mouths of elephants. ?The woman only praised Ximen Qing and made false noises. The woman lowered her head and sewed. There is a poem to prove it: Water has always been a woman, and her husband often steals it with outsiders.

The golden lotus heart loves Ximen Qing, but the spring heart is not free.

Ximen Qing was very sentimental when he saw Pan Jinlian, and wished he could have sex together. Wang Po then went to order two cups of tea, handed one to Ximen Qing, and the other to the woman, and said, "A lady treats high officials the same way." ?After eating tea, I felt a little affectionate. Wang Po looked at Ximen Qing and touched her face with one hand. Ximen Qing looked at the subject in his heart and found out that he got five points. Since ancient times, tea has been a popular matchmaker, and wine is the matchmaker. Wang Po then said: "When the high officials don't come, I don't dare to come to the house to invite you." First, it is predestined, and second, it comes at the right time. As the saying goes: "One guest does not bother two hosts." ?High officials are the ones who contribute money, and this lady is the one who contributes. It's not that I'm bothered by Lu Qi. It's rare that this lady is here. The officer can be a master and help me and my lady. ?Ximen Qing said: ?No villain can see here. There is money here. ? Then he took it out, handed it to Wang Po along with the handkerchief, and prepared some food and wine. The woman then said: "You can't live without suffering." ?The mouth speaks, but does not move. Wang Po took the money and left. The woman didn't get up. The mother-in-law then went out and said, "I'd like to have you, madam, to sit with the high official." ?The woman said: ?Godmother, I’m exempted. ?But he didn't want to leave. It's also due to fate, but it's all intentional. Ximen Qing only looked at the woman, and the woman also stole her eyes at Ximen Qing. After seeing this person, I felt quite satisfied, and then I lowered my head and went about my own life.

Not long after, Grandma Wang bought some cooked fat goose meat and fine fruits. She filled the plate with all the fruits and vegetables and brought them to the table in the room. He looked at the woman and said, "Madam, please clean up your life and have a glass of wine." ?The woman said: ?My godmother treats high officials naturally, but not as a slave. The old woman said: "I am just pouring hands with my wife, why do I say this?" The old woman put all the dishes on the table. The three of them sat down and poured the wine. Ximen Qing picked up the wine cup and said, "My lady, drink this cup to the full." ?The woman thanked me and said: ?Multi-sensory people are kind. Wang Po said: "I know that my wife is drinking a lot, so please enjoy two cups." ?There is a poem to prove it: Men and women have always had different feasts, and the most pitiful thing is to be flirtatious.

Not only Wenjun ran to Sima, Ximen Qing also came to Jinlian.

But the woman was holding the wine in her hand, and Ximen Qing picked up the chopsticks and said, "Godmother, please help me persuade my wife to invite some." ? The mother-in-law picked it up and handed it over to the woman to eat. I poured three glasses of wine in a row. The woman then went to boil the wine. Ximen Qing said: "I dare not ask my wife how young I am?" The woman responded: "I wasted my twenty-three years in vain." ?Ximen Qing said: ?The villain is five years older. ?The woman said: ?Officials compare heaven to earth. Wang Po then interjected: "What a fine lady." Not only is he good at needlework, but he is also knowledgeable in all schools of thought. ?Ximen Qingdao: ?Where to ask for it! Wu Dalang is so blessed. Wang Po then said: "It's not like I'm here to talk about right and wrong. There are many high-ranking officials in their houses. Where can I find someone who can keep up with this lady?" ?Ximen Qing said: ?It's like this, it's hard to describe in one word. It's just that the villain is short-lived and has never recruited a good one. "Wang Po said: "The first lady of a high official must be kind. Ximen Qing said: "Don't say that! If my late wife was still alive, the house would be without an owner and the house would stand on end." Now it's useless to have three to five or seven people eating and not taking care of anything. The woman asked: "When the official died, how many years had it been since the eldest lady died?" Ximen Qing said: "I can't say! The villain's first wife was from a humble background, but she was very talented and capable. She was a villain who could do anything." . Now, unfortunately, he has been dead for three years, and everything at home is in a mess. Why did the villain just walk out? When he was at home, he had to vomit. The woman said, "Don't blame me for speaking out, as a high-ranking official." You, the leading lady, don’t have the needlework and thread skills of Madam Wu. Ximen Qing said: Even if a villain takes his wife first, there is no such figure as this lady. The old woman smiled and said: "Guardian, your aunt is living in the East Street. Why don't you invite me to have tea?" Ximen Qing said: "It's Zhang Xixi who sings slow songs." I saw that he was from Luqi and I didn't like him. The mother-in-law said again: Officer, you and Li Jiaojiao will never live together. Ximen Qing said: "This man is at home now." If you find that he will be the head of the family, you will have to register him for a long time. "Wang Po said: "If there is such a person who is popular with the officials, would it be okay to come to the house and say it?" Ximen Qing said: "My parents are gone. I stand on my own initiative. Who dares to say no?"

Wang Po said: "I said I want it, but I am anxious to find someone who will win the favor of the officials." ?Ximen Qing said: ?No matter what you do? I just hate that my husband and wife have a weak fate, so they don't collide. ? Ximen Qing and this mother-in-law exchanged words one after another. Wang Po then said: "I was just about to have some wine, but it was gone."

Officials, don’t blame me for being careless. How about buying another bottle of wine to eat? Ximen Qing said: "I have five taels of broken silver in my handkerchief, and I will scatter it at your place." When you want to eat, just take it. If there are too many, my godmother will accept them. The woman thanked the official and stood up to look at the pink head. After three minutes of wine, her heart was aroused, and her words were full of meaning. He only lowered his head but did not get up. The woman smiled with a smile on her face and said, "I'm going to get a bottle of wine and have another drink with my wife." If you please, Madam, please sit down with the high officials. Is there any wine in the note? Then sift two more cups and eat them with the officials. I'll go straight to the store in front of the county that has good wine and buy a bottle. There is a good rest in Dange. ?The woman said in her mouth: ?No need. ?Sitting but not moving. When the mother-in-law went out to the door of the room, she tied the door with a rope, but she came and sat on the road with a thread in her hand.

Ximen Qingzi was in his room. He poured wine to persuade the woman, but he brushed his sleeves on the table and dropped the pair of chopsticks on the ground. By chance, the pair of chopsticks landed at the woman's feet. Ximen Qing hurriedly knelt down to pick it up. I saw the woman's pointed little feet hanging on the edge of the chopsticks. Ximen Qing did not pick up chopsticks, so he went to the woman's embroidered shoes and pinched a handful. The woman then laughed and said, "No official, please don't ask for Luosu! If you are willing, the slave is also interested." Do you really want to seduce me? Ximen Qing knelt down and said, "It's just a lady's fault." ?The woman then hugged Ximen Qing. At that time, the two of them were in Grandma Wang's room, taking off their clothes and having sex together. Just like: Mandarin ducks with their necks crossed are playing in the water, with their heads crossed and phoenixes piercing the flowers. Happy to work hard to connect branches, sweet and sweet, and tie the knot together. Put your red lips together and lean your pink face sideways. The stockings are high, and a crescent moon is visible on the shoulder blade; the gold hairpin is falling backwards, and a dark cloud is piled next to the pillow. The oath of the oath of alliance on the mountain is made into all kinds of charms; the shy clouds and timid rain make it all kinds of enchanting. The chirping of a warbler never leaves my ears. The saliva is sweet, and the tip of the tongue is stuck out. Willow waist veins are strong in spring, cherry mouth is wheezing and wheezing. The starry eyes are dim, and the fragrant jade beads are flowing with thin sweat; the breasts are rippling, and the peony heart is dripping with dew. It's a good time to be married and married.

At that moment, the two of them were just talking about it and were about to straighten their clothes. They saw Mrs. Wang pushing open the door and coming in, saying: "You two have done a good job!" Ximen Qing and the woman both ate it. Startled. The woman then said: "Okay, okay! I asked you to make clothes, and I didn't ask you to steal men." Wuhan University learned that it had to implicate me, and it would be better if I went out first. ?Turn around and leave. The woman grabbed her skirt and said, "Godmother, please forgive me." ?Ximen Qing said: ?My godmother whispered. Wang Po smiled and said, "If you want me to forgive you, you have to do one thing." The woman then said: "Don't mention one thing, just ten. I will follow my godmother." "Wang Po said: "From today onwards, you will hide the secrets from Wuhan University and don't break your promise every day. If you betray a high official, I will give up. If you don't come for one day, I will tell you Wu Da. The woman said: "I just rely on my godmother." "Wang Po said again: "Ximen Senior Official, you don't need me to tell you. This was a very good thing, but it's all over now. Don't break your promise of what you promised. If you betray me, you must also tell Wuhan University. Ximen Qing said: "Don't worry, Godmother, she has not broken her promise." ?The three of them had a few more glasses of wine, and it was already afternoon. The woman then stood up and said, "The guy from Wuhan University is about to return. Please go back." ? Then he walked back through the back door and lowered the curtain first. Wuhan University happened to come in.

Wang Po looked at Ximen Qing and said: "Is this a good idea?" Ximen Qing said: "It's a shame for my godmother! When I get home, I will take a piece of silver and give it to you." How dare you be ignorant of what you have promised? Wang Po said: "I am looking forward to the holiday, waiting for good news." Don't let me go out of the coffin to ask for money from the elegy man. ?Ximen Qing smiled and said nothing.

Since that day, the woman has been visiting Mrs. Wang’s house every day to be with Ximen Qing. Kindness is like paint, and intention is like glue. Since ancient times: "Good things don't go out, but bad things spread thousands of miles." ?In less than half a month, all the neighbors knew about it. I just kept it from Wuhan University. There is a poem to prove it: Good things never go out, bad words and ugly deeds are always heard.

Poor Wu Daqin’s wife, she secretly became a mistress with Ximen.

A broken sentence is divided into two parts. Let us say that there is a young man in this county who is fifteen or sixteen years old and his surname is Qiao. Because he was a soldier and was born and raised in Yunzhou, he was named Yun Ge. There is no longer a father in the family. The boy was so good at sleeping. The only thing he could do was to sell the latest fruits in the many hotels in front of the county, and as usual Ximen Qingfu gave him some money. That day, I found a basket of snow pears and walked around the street to ask about Ximen Qing. Another group of people said: "Brother Yun, if you want to find him, I will teach you where to find him." Brother Yun said: "Uncle Noisy, please ask me to find him and earn thirty or fifty money to support my father." Naduokou said: "Ximen Qing is now married to Wu Da's wife who sells cooking cakes. He only sits on the floor in Wangpo's tea house on Zishi Street every day." This is where it will end sooner or later. It's okay if you just bump into your little kid's house. ?Brother Yun heard this and thanked his uncle for his advice. The little monkey carried the basket, kept looking at Zishi Street, and then ran into the tea house. But I happened to see Mrs. Wang sitting on a small stool and expressing her emotions. Brother Yun put the basket down, looked at Granny Wang and said, "Godmother, bow to me." ?The woman asked: ?Brother Yun, what are you doing here? Brother Yun said: ?I want to find someone from a high official to give me 30 to 50 yuan to support my father. The mother-in-law said: "What kind of high-ranking official?" Brother Yun said: "My mother knew it was him, so it was just him." The old woman said: Even high-ranking officials have names. Brother Yun said, "It's just two words." The mother-in-law said: "What are these two words?" Brother Yun said: "My godmother is just playing tricks! I want to have a word with Mr. Ximen." ?Look inside and leave. The woman grabbed her and said, "Where's the little monkey?" In other people's houses, each has its own interior and exterior. ?Brother Yun said: ?I will go to the room and find it. "Wang Po said: "Honiao Hozen, what kind of high-ranking official from Ximen is there in my house?" Brother Yun said: "Goddess, don't eat alone, please sip some of the juice with me." I don't care about anything. The mother-in-law then scolded: "What do you think about your little hozen?" Brother Yun said: "You are the one who can cut vegetables in a wooden ladle with a horseshoe knife, and the water will not leak out." Didn't land much at all. If I tell you, I'm afraid the brother who sells cooking cakes will get angry. ?The old lady ate these two words from him and said that he was really sick. She was very angry and shouted: ?Hones with birds! Come to my house and fart spicy smell!?Brother Yun said: ?I am the little hozen, you are Ma Bo six. ?The woman grabbed Brother Yun and cut two chestnuts into his head. Brother Yun shouted: "Hit me for whatever you do." The mother-in-law scolded: "The thief is a hozen, and the louder the sound, the big-eared scraper will beat you out!" Brother Yun said: "Old bitch, beat me if you have nothing to do!" This mother-in-law said: He made a fork on one end and chopped off a big chestnut on the other, straight out into the street. The Sydney basket was also thrown out. The basket of Sydney fell into pieces and rolled away. This little monkey couldn't beat the godly woman. He scolded, cried, and walked away while picking up pears on the street. He pointed at the king's tea house and cursed: "Old bitch! I'll teach you not to panic! I won't tell you." He won’t believe it until he makes it!? He picked up the basket and ran to find this person.

Brother Yun is not here to look for this person, but he is exactly the same person: he has done something in the past and is not in the mood to come together. Direct teaching: The dangerous Taoist god took off his clothes, and Brother Xiao Yun found out the trouble. After all, who is Brother Yun looking for? Let’s hear the explanation next time.