Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - Who are the successful people?
Who are the successful people?
Once, Socrates was walking in the street, and someone hit him on the back with a stick, so that he couldn't stand and squatted down, but soon, he stood up as if nothing had happened. Seeing that he didn't respond, others who witnessed the whole passing asked him curiously: You were beaten, why didn't you fight back? Socrates replied with a smile: When a wild donkey kicks you, will you return it?
Bernard Shaw
* Bernard Shaw loved riding a bicycle when he was young. Once he broke his leg bone, his female classmate took good care of him. Bernard Shaw was worried that he was weak-willed and would propose to this female classmate. He decided to slip away. But he accidentally fell down the stairs and broke both his legs. As a result, he really asked her if she would marry him. When the female classmate nodded, Bernard Shaw fainted.
Mao Mu
* A woman said to Mao Mu: I have been with a man for a long time, but I'm not sure whether I'm in love with him. The famous writer has a very unique view on the test of love. He said: There is only one way to test whether you really love him. Would you like to brush your teeth with his toothbrush?
Dumas
* Someone asked him. He retorted disapprovingly, "It took me all my life to live to this day.
* Fang Xuanling, a famous figure in the Tang Dynasty, was seriously ill when he was not an official. He said to his wife Lu," If I die of illness, you should not be widowed and remarry. Lu went to the room and dug out an eye to show that he would never change his mind. Later, Fang Xuanling recovered and rose to the high position of prime minister. I always have great respect for my wife.
Agatha
* The husband of Agatha Christie, a female novelist, is an archaeologist. Once, at a gathering, a friend asked him: How do you feel when an imaginative woman like you marries an antique player? The detective novelist said: An archaeologist is the ideal husband. You think, the older something is, the more he likes it.
Voltaire
* When Voltaire visited England in 1727, he found that the British hated the French very much. A group of British people shouted at him: Kill him and hang the Frenchman! Voltaire said: English! You want to kill me because I'm French. Isn't it hard enough to be punished because I'm not English? The Englishman laughed and sent him all the way back to his apartment.
Zhuo Bielin
* Zhuo Bielin can compose, direct and act, and he is a rare all-round filmmaker. Once, he held a film-making meeting, and a fly flew around him. At first, he hit him several times with his hand, but he missed, so he asked for a fly swatter. During the meeting, he held the fly swatter and posed as a fly swatter. He slowly picked up the fly swatter and was about to make a fatal blow when he suddenly put down his weapon and let the fly fly away. The people sitting next to him saw it and said, Why don't you kill it? The comedian shrugged his shoulders and said, this is not the one just now!
Li Bai
* After his death, Li Bai's body was buried at the head of the Quarry River, and poets from all walks of life wrote poems on his tomb. Someone wrote a quatrain: When the Quarry River is ruined, Li Bai's poems will be famous forever; Write two lines when you come and go, and a big axe falls in front of Lu Ban.
Ouyang Xiu
* In his later years, Ouyang Xiu changed the words he wrote every day, with great pains. His wife told him not to change them, saying: Why torture himself like this? Are you still afraid of being scolded by the teacher? Ouyang Xiu smiled and said, "I'm not afraid of being scolded by my teacher, but I'm afraid of being laughed at by future generations.
Lincoln
* Lincoln once dreamed that he would attend a meeting. When he was walking, everyone made way for Lincoln to pass. At this time, among a large group of people, one whispered," He is just an ordinary-looking person. "When Lincoln heard this, he said," Friend, God likes ordinary-looking people. So he gave birth to many ordinary people.
Carnegie
* Carnegie, the American steel king, talks about his secret of success: I think my greatest advantage is that I can arouse people's enthusiasm. The best way to make people do their best is to appreciate him and praise him. The boss's criticism is the easiest way to destroy the confidence in deployment. I haven't seen anyone yet, when being blown off his feet, You can do things better than when you are praised.
Eliot
* Eliot, president of Harvard University in the United States, said: I think Harvard can really be called a treasure house of knowledge now. But I am thinking that Harvard can become a treasure house of knowledge because freshmen bring knowledge, while seniors leave school with only a little knowledge.
Curtis, a famous German doctor, once had a banquet. Distribute it to the guests. He cut the roast pig's chest straight with a knife, then cut it crosswise, and then pulled out the chopped mushrooms and other fillers stuffed into the pig's belly with a quick and excellent method. Then he took out a holster from his pocket, took out the surgical needle and thread from the holster, and sewed up the cut chest. After sewing, he patted the roast pig's chest and smiled and said to the guests: Just investigate carefully and take good care of him. Soon you can walk on the ground.
Kettledge
* Kettledge, a famous professor at Harvard University in the United States, is an authority on studying Shakespeare. Once he accidentally stepped on the platform and fell under the platform. He stood up and said to the students with great momentum: I have been teaching for forty years, and this is the first time that I have fallen to the same level as an audience!
Zhuo Bielin
* Once, there was a performance competition to imitate Zhuo Bielin somewhere. As many as thirty or forty people took part in it, and Zhuo Bielin himself took part in it anonymously. As a result, he actually won the third place. Zhuo Bielin thought it was the biggest joke of his life!
Wilson
* A female student at Smith Women's University in the United States once came back to her dormitory late because of a date with her boyfriend, so she had to climb through the window. But the window was too heavy for her strength to lift. Suddenly someone came to help her in the window and whispered to her, Don't let others see it. Climb in and see, it's the smiling President Wilson.
Johnson
* Dr. Johnson. There was a program not far away, and everyone went to the market. It was raining, and his father wanted Dr. John to distribute some books and transport them to the market for sale. His father called him three times in succession to go, but Dr. Johnson was absorbed in reading a thick and big book at this moment, but he pretended not to hear and ignored it. His father sighed and had to go by himself. At this time, Dr. Johnson was eighteen years old. Fifty years later. The local people saw this bloated old man kneeling in the street center. He put his hat under his arm, put his crutch aside, bowed his head and knelt in the sun, tears streaming down his face. At this time, Dr. Johnson became famous, and everyone came to see him. He said to everyone: On the same day and at the same time 5 years ago, I didn't listen to my father, and now I am kneeling here to repent!
joey blanc
* joey blanc traveled to the east during the Pacific war and met general MacArthur. they took a photo together. the famous star Lian said: it's a privilege to take a photo with your Excellency! However, General MacArthur said: This photo was taken for my youngest son, and he often hoped that his father could take photos with celebrities.
Ouyang Xiu
* In his later years, Ouyang Xiu made painstaking efforts to revise the words written in his life. His wife told him not to revise them, saying: Why torture himself like this? Are you still afraid of being scolded by the teacher? Ouyang Xiu laughed: I'm not afraid of being scolded by my teacher, but I'm afraid of being laughed at by future generations.
* Mark Twain worked in a newspaper when he was young. Six months later, the editor-in-chief told him not to come back tomorrow. Mark Twain asked why? The editor-in-chief said: Because you are too lazy. Mark Twain listened and smiled and replied: It will take you six months to find out that I am lazy, but I knew it on the first day I entered the newspaper.
* Yang Xiu, a close minister of Cao Cao in the later Han Dynasty, was very smart when he was nine years old. One day, his father was interviewed by Kong Ping, and he was going to entertain him with Yangmei. When Kong Ping saw it, he asked jokingly: Is this the fruit of your family? Yang Xiu immediately replied: I have never heard that peacocks are your poultry!
* When Su Shi was the county magistrate of Hangzhou in Song Dynasty, there was a county resident who made a living as a fan, but it was cold and the fans could not be sold, so he owed taxes. Dongpo asked him to draw dead wood and bamboo stones on it with a fan, and drew more than 2 fans. Only when the county resident walked out of the county gate, someone came to buy it. Therefore, all the taxes owed were paid off.
* Italian Renaissance painter Rafael painted a picture of Maria. There is a maid in the lower left. But there is a big blank right below, and he is thinking about what to make up. At this moment, he sees two children in the window of a nearby bakery from the studio window. The older one is about four or five years old, holding his chin, looking up at the sky and talking to his brother. The younger one is leaning on his arms and listening to his brother. Raphael thinks it is beautiful, so he draws them at the bottom of the picture, and with wings, it becomes two. He replied: I had many dreams, and then I painted around my dreams. Fantasy can make people see the invisible, and will can make the invisible become the visible entity.
* Einstein put forward his view on the success of life at a press conference. He used a mathematical formula to express it: Assuming that A represents a person's success, I can write the following formula: A = X+Y+Z, and X represents work. Einstein replied with a smile: Z is to keep your mouth shut.
* Finnish conductor Boris Sebo and his wife came to the United States to perform. It is said that the house they live in is often haunted. One day, they were awakened by the sound of ghosts. Mrs. Sebo asked her husband to see it, but the conductor said: No, honey, you'd better go. Because your English is better than mine.
* The first concert was held in the imperial palace in Munich, Germany. As soon as the floor in the palace was smooth, he slipped as soon as he entered the palace gate. At this moment, a little princess came to help him up and kissed his hand. Mozart was very grateful and didn't know how to thank him. He said, When I grow up, I must take you as my bride. Everyone burst into laughter.
* American election in 1948. I chased him to the president's house, but I didn't see him. Later, when I met the president, a reporter asked him what happened along the way. President Truman replied: A police car asked us to stop. It seems that an important person is going to pass through this town today.
* Once, a journalist asked Kennedy: How did you become a hero in World War II? Kennedy replied: They sank my cruise ship, and I became famous. We know that Kennedy was aboard the DT-O No.8 dinghy and was sunk by the enemy, so he was injured.
* Socrates' wife was very fierce. Once, she lost her temper and scolded Socrates, and Yu Nu didn't stop, so she took a big bucket of water and poured it on her husband's head. Socrates scratched his wet hair. Once, a friend treated him. During the dinner, he remembered that there was a bottle of good wine at home, so he told his friend to wait and go home to get the wine himself. The friend waited around, but he didn't see Newton coming back, so he had to look into it. It turned out that Newton thought of an experiment on his way home. When he got home, he plunged into the laboratory and started the experiment, forgetting all about taking wine to entertain his friends. Another time, when he was hungry, he boiled eggs to eat, but while thinking about the problem, he put the eggs in the pot. When the problem was solved, when he wanted to eat eggs, he opened the lid and picked up his own pocket watch.
* Sima Guang in Song Dynasty was born into a family of bureaucrats. Wit from an early age, studious. Just turned 2 and was admitted to Jinshi. He is an honest official, and he often uses his spare time to study, and he is determined to write a general chronicle as a reference for people. In order to seize the time to study, he specially made a log pillow. The magical function of the pillow is that as soon as the body turns when sleeping, it will roll, and people will wake up and continue to study knowledge, so it is called "police pillow". Whenever Sima Guang needed a rest, he put a "police pillow" on his pillow. As a result of this study, he finally became a knowledgeable person
ludwig van beethoven (177.12.17-1827.3.26)
In 1792, 22-year-old ludwig van beethoven came to Vienna from Bonn until 1827. Most of Beethoven's works were created here. All his nine symphonies were premiered in Vienna. In 185, Federio, his only opera creation, also made its premiere at the National Opera House in Vienna. Beethoven is regarded by later generations as the greatest symphony writer of all time. His Hero Symphony is full of passion. His ninth symphony, based on German poet Schiller's Ode to Joy, has now become the EU's anthem.
Brilliant creation cannot conceal Beethoven's difficult life. In 182, Beethoven wrote a will that might be for his brother because of his gradual loss of hearing and grief. Passionate temperament forced him to move frequently. He left dozens of homes in the hot springs in the northern part of Vienna. However, the hot springs could not save his deafness in the end. In 1819, Beethoven lost his hearing completely. In 1827, people held a grand funeral for Waehringer Friedhof Weilinger in his cemetery. In 1888, Beethoven's remains were placed in the Central Cemetery in Vienna.
Visiting musician Beethoven
Beethoven moved frequently in his later years. Although he left many former residences, many of them were not opened to tourists as exhibition halls. Beethoven liked to live in a place called Heiligenstadt, which was far away from the city, just north of the city. In 182, Beethoven lived in this city and wrote his second symphony here. In October of the same year, Beethoven wrote the Testament of Heiligenstadt here. This is a letter he wrote to his two brothers. This letter was not sent, and it is still well preserved here. This site of Beethoven is now called "Heiligenstadt Testament House" and is open to visitors from Tuesday to Sunday.
address: probusgasse 6,19 Wien
pask Paqualitihaus is a residence where Beethoven lived for a long time. From 184 to 1815, Beethoven left this residence several times, but he finally returned here. The owner of the building, pask Varty, is a good friend of Beethoven. Every time Beethoven leaves, he tells his servants not to rent Beethoven's room, because "he will always come back". Here, Beethoven experienced the heyday of creation, and his fourth, fifth and sixth symphonies, the fourth piano concerto and the opera Federio were all created here.
- Related articles
- When you are tired from work, come up with some humorous jokes
- Why does the puppy lift its legs inexplicably?
- A comforting word when your girlfriend is sick?
- What does "language dislocation" mean?
- Humorous jokes, stories and jokes.
- From one to ten thousand Chinese characters
- Dad, I want to say 480 words about your composition.
- Wang is joking.
- Joke novels of children with cerebral palsy
- Are there really boys in this world?