How to understand the pronunciation of programmers' jokes

1 "Knock, knock" "Who?" After a long time ... "Java"

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? No. It's a hardware problem.

A computer major student is studying under a tree, and another computer major student passes by on a fancy bike. The previous student asked, "Where did you get your car?" The cyclist replied, "When I was studying outside, a beautiful MM rode by. She took off her clothes and said to me,' I'll give you anything you want'. " "A wise choice! It's definitely not appropriate for you to wear her clothes. " The previous students said.

How to get rich by object-oriented method? Inherit.

To understand recursion, we must first understand recursion.

A man was smoking one cigarette after another by the roadside. A lady came up to him and said, "Hey, don't you know you're killing yourself slowly? Pay attention to the warning information on the cigarette case. " "Never mind," the man took another leisurely breath. "I am a programmer." "hmm? What does this have to do with you being a programmer? " "We don't care about warnings at all, we only care about mistakes."

7 (hmm ... this seems to have nothing to do with programmers ...) Geographers and mathematicians are sitting on the plane together. The geographer held out his hand and asked the mathematician if he wanted to play an interesting game. Mathematicians just wanted to sleep, so they politely refused. But geographers insist that the game is interesting. He explained, "Let me ask you a question. If you can't answer, you can give me 5 yuan. " . Then you ask me another question, and I'll give you five dollars if I can't answer it. "Mathematicians politely refused again. The geographer was a little excited and said, "Well, if you don't know the answer, give me 5 dollars, and if I don't know the answer, give you 50 dollars!" " "Now the mathematician is interested. He knows that he can't sleep until he disagrees, so he joins the game. The geographer asked the first question first. "What is the distance from the earth to the moon?" Without saying a word, the mathematician took out his wallet and gave the geographer 5 dollars. It's the mathematician's turn to ask questions. He asked the geographer, "What has three feet when going up a mountain and four feet when going down?" The geographer gave the mathematician a puzzled look. He took out his laptop and searched all his information. He searched the Library of Congress on the Internet through the modem on the plane and sent an email to ask his colleagues-but he never found the answer. An hour later, he woke up the mathematician and gave him 50 dollars in cash. The mathematician politely accepted the money, turned his head and went back to sleep. Geographers are becoming more and more confused. He woke up the mathematician and asked, "So, what's the answer?" Without saying anything, the mathematician took out his wallet and gave the geographer 5 dollars.

8 100 million monkeys, give them/kloc-0.00 million keyboards, one of which can write Java programs and the other can write Perl programs.

Ten top software engineers attended the manager training course. The teacher asked, "If the company you work for provides avionics software. One day, you flew on a business trip. When you get on the plane, you find a sign that says the plane used the Beta software developed by your team. Will you get off the plane? "

Nine software engineers raised their hands. The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, "Why did you stay on the plane?" The man replied, "If my team wrote this software, the plane could not take off at all, let alone crash."

10 Why do programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas? Because Oct 3 1 == Dec 25.

How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? No. They will turn darkness into a standard and tell everyone, "That's how we designed it."

12 keyboard not found ... press F 1 to continue.

13 Unix interface is friendly, but it is difficult to become a Unix user.

The joke "14" probably came from the United States in the 1970s: a novice was trying to repair a broken LISP machine by repeatedly turning off the power and then turning it on. Experts severely criticized after seeing it: "It's useless for you to do so. You must understand the deep-seated reasons for the mistake. "

Experts turn off the power and then turn it on. Working normally.

15 what do computer scientists rely on for contraception? Their personality charm.

16 a Microsoft engineer was walking on the road when he suddenly heard a frog say, "if you kiss me, I will become a beautiful woman, and we can get married and live happily ever after." The engineer looked at the frog for a while, grabbed it and gently put it in his coat pocket. The frog sticks out his head and says, "What, you're not going to kiss me?" "Yes," said the engineer, "I work in Microsoft and have no time to get married-but it's cool to have a talking frog."

How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb? You are still thinking in a process-oriented way. A designed light bulb must encapsulate the method of changing the light bulb, so all you have to do is call the method of "changing the light bulb".

18 Two programmers are chatting: "I met a hot girl yesterday. I took her home and immediately started kissing hungrily. She sat on my keyboard and ... ""Do you have a computer at home? What kind of CPU is it? "

19 why do programmers like UNIX: unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep?

Computers are high-speed idiots, and programmers are low-speed idiots.

2 1 Array with half data: Pessimistic programmers think that the array is half empty. Optimistic programmers feel that the array is half full. Real programmers? I think the array takes up too much space, so I need to call realloc ().

22 compiled successfully! Deliver it