Should toasts be made during the banquet at a funeral?

In Northeast Hubei, almost all banquets have the habit of toasting, which is also an inheritance of regional etiquette culture. But there have been some evolutions in recent years.

In the past, toasting was done when the main dish was served. Zhengrou is covered with a bowl. In the past era of material scarcity, Zhengrou would pile up a large bowl of steamed meat. Each piece was at least 1 tael or more, three pieces per person. The chef had to count the pieces when loading the meat. Bowls are a must-have. When the meat is served, don't move your chopsticks until the host comes to propose a toast. This kind of toast is a courtesy and does not mean that the host comes to change glasses with you. First, place a long hanging in front of each banquet hall, and then give each table a bottle of good wine and two packs of good cigarettes. (Two packages for happy events, which means happy events come in pairs, and one package for mourning events). The prestigious elders of the family will lead the host to pay tribute. If they are getting married, let the bride and groom salute. If the child is one month old, they will hold the child and walk around the banquet. During the funeral, filial sons and grandsons would kneel down and kowtow at the banquet. An elder in the family would like to say a polite word that is inappropriate. When toasting, all the guests should stand up automatically, and some people should say some words of congratulations to the person who came to toast. Such as: "A hundred years of good harmony, a long life together", "A long life of a hundred years, great prosperity", "A hundred children and thousands of grandchildren, wealth for all generations" and so on.

Later, it gradually evolved into the middle of the banquet, where the host’s family and tribesmen would toast one by one. The ceremonial toast should be done when the banquet is about to end.

In our case, if an old parent dies at home. Funerals also like to be held in a lively and pompous manner so that the deceased can be buried in splendor. However, during the banquet, the filial piety family members only made ceremonial toasts and kowtowed at the banquet. No one would go to each table to raise glasses and invite the guests to drink, because after all, white events are mourning events, and no one would like to do so at a wedding banquet. So noisy. Villager Ye Hua believes that this approach is still advisable. It not only expresses the host's gratitude to the guests attending the funeral, but also shows the mutual respect between the host and the guests.

One brother's "viewing society through vulgar eyes" -

Funeral banquets are centered on mourning

Funeral banquets are often called funeral banquets or white banquets, and some It's called a thank you banquet. Since it is for a funeral, we should focus on the funeral and briefly introduce some rules in the Central Plains area.

What are the funeral banquets? There are funeral banquets, May 7th banquets, hundred-day banquets, first anniversary banquets, second anniversary banquets, third anniversary banquets, etc. Here we only talk about funeral banquets.

After the death of an elderly person in the family, first the family members and immediate neighbors are notified, and then relatives and friends are usually buried on the third day (the third day after death). If there is a fire on the first day, the people who are responsible for the work are usually buried in a big pot. The dishes are served with white rice, steamed buns, and a few hot and cold dishes, but there are no tables, and most are buffets. On the third day, the table is opened to entertain relatives and friends who come to express their condolences. Generally, relatives and friends are served on flowing mats and can eat and go. After the funeral, my grandmother's family and distinguished guests took their seats, and the main banquet began, accompanied by my family.

Funeral banquet dishes generally include sixteen dishes, eight hot and eight cold, plus an egg soup. Cold dishes generally include four meat and four vegetarian dishes, avoiding desserts, red dishes, whole chickens and ducks, etc. Hot dishes are mostly six meat dishes. Two vegetarian dishes, don't use carp for fish, don't use chicken feet for chicken, don't use soy sauce for meat, don't braise it, avoid offal offal, shrimp, pumpkin, vegetables, etc. The order of serving is hot first and then cold, commonly known as "inverted pulled beef".

The funeral banquet begins with the filial son inviting a meal and kowtowing before entering the table. Those entering the banquet do not wear red clothes, do not make loud noises, do not talk eloquently, and do not fight over wine. It is normal to have no wine. Even if the host prepares a small amount of wine, it is not necessary. Respectfully give way, pour as much as you want to drink, say no to quick meals, and leave the table as soon as the egg soup is served.

Funerals are inherently sad, and the funeral banquet is also about taking care of the food. There is no need to dilute the sad atmosphere, and the ceremony is nondescript and makes people laugh.

(At a wedding banquet, the bride and groom toast to the guests)

The question asked by the questioner may be triggered by other banquets, such as the host toasting to the guests at the wedding banquet. .

In our place, whenever there is a banquet, the host usually has to toast the guests. Toasts start at the end of the banquet, and are marked by the arrival of a certain dish. We start when the meatballs are served. We don't call meatballs meatballs, but "get out of the way", which means that the meatballs are served, and the dishes are also served. It’s almost done, so you can get out of here after eating. Of course, this is just a joke, not really telling anyone to get out. But it's true that when the meatballs arrived, the dishes were almost ready, and there were at most two soups left. By this time everyone was eating and drinking well.

Of course, the remaining few who drink a lot or have particularly good relationships can continue to drink.

The order of toasting is always to the table at grandma’s house first. If it's a wedding, the bride and groom will be led by an elder from the family. They first come to the table at the groom's grandma's house. The elder first introduces them and says, "The children are here to toast!" Everyone got busy and asked to give up their seats. The bride and groom were also busy asking everyone to sit down, and they themselves couldn't sit down. The first person to pay homage is the person sitting in the seat, often the uncle. The elder who was leading the way said, fill it up for your uncle, so that your uncle can drink. The uncle hurriedly explained: We can't come so far, we have to go home. Everyone smiled, gave way, and declined. After the people at one table had finished paying respects, they started to go to the next table. It happened again. In short, toasting at such a banquet is almost the same, and it becomes just the person making the toast. When a child celebrates his birthday, the father of the child makes the toast; when an old man celebrates his birthday, a group of brothers usually makes the toast.

However, although they are all toasts, the toasts at the funeral banquet are not called toasts, but "thank guests", which means that the filial son thanks all the guests who came to express their condolences.

The way a filial son expresses gratitude is not just for each table, but for everyone. When the food at the banquet is almost served, the deacon will lead the filial son to everyone and shout "Thank you, filial son". The diners stood up together, and the filial son knelt on the ground and kowtowed three times, which was considered a thank you to everyone. The deacon then asked everyone to sit down and said, "Everyone should drink and eat. It's still early."

At this time, he generally stopped eating and stood up to leave the table.

Nowadays, people don’t care too much. They toast at all banquets and lose all the virtues of obedience and obedience. Originally, funeral was a painful thing, but now it has been transformed into a kind of celebration. Pushing the glass Changing the cup, it was lively, and the dutiful son toasted in person. It looked awkward, and I didn’t agree with it.

In the past, there were no toasts at funerals, and no one was chatting or laughing. Most of them ate in silence and went home. Looking at the current situation, you can’t tell what the business is about. There are people playing cards, joking, joking, talking and laughing, all kinds of things, messy, and doing everything. I feel that it completely violates the original intention of the funeral. There is no respect for the deceased at all, let alone seriousness. Everyone says this kind of thing should be done what to do.

The original intention of toasting is to express congratulations, express congratulations to the host, and express your good mood. Are you particularly happy when the old man passes away? Are you congratulating the old man on his death or congratulating the old man on his death? Are you particularly happy when the old man dies? I don’t understand, this method undermines the majesty of the funeral. It was originally a very solemn and solemn event, but today it has been transformed into a festive and sad event!

We should respect everything. Weddings and wedding banquets are lively events. You can do whatever you want. It’s casual. The more lively the better, but you must not go out of your way. You must maintain good quality. Just kidding. If it is turned too high, it will become a tragedy, right? Especially during funerals, we must be strict with ourselves and remain solemn. We should also respect the deceased. Everyone in the audience should be silent and bare-faced. Is this right?

Toasts at funerals are definitely against the traditional concept. How can something so solemn and serious be messed with? Try to stay silent and calm about this kind of thing. After all, a loved one has passed away and everyone is immersed in immense pain. Do you still feel like this? It is our duty to respect the deceased and maintain traditional concepts. I hope everyone can express your different opinions. Thank you

for sharing our customs here.

During a funeral, toasts can be made on the wine table.

There are two occasions. First, you toast to the host family. The host family can choose to drink or not. There is no rule about how much he drinks, but you must drink at least three glasses. Three glasses, six glasses. Cup, nine cups, and so on.

Secondly, there are no rules when people other than the host family toast to each other during the banquet. You can follow the usual rules of the wine shop without having to follow them specially.

Hope this helps.

You can toast to elders and guests to express your gratitude. This kind of occasion is only suitable for casual greetings. The other party is casual. Do not persuade people to drink. Drink too much... and do not make a fuss or talk loudly... your expression should be serious. , don’t joke, don’t laugh...to show respect and memory for the deceased...

1. Toasts at funerals can only be made by a filial son (or a son-in-law, a filial son, or an unmarried daughter). Everyone makes a toast. When toasting, they put the wine on the wooden board, kneel down, and raise the wooden board above their heads with both hands. The filial son who is toasting does not drink himself, and everyone takes the wine from the wooden board.

Toasts are first offered to the corpse collector, Feng Shui master, etc.; secondly, toasts are given in order of seniority in the clan. Toast objects are not limited to the elders, but also to the younger generations. Everyone pays homage to each table. Every time they pay homage to a table, they must kneel down and salute, and say the following words: Thank you for your condolences. 2. Those attending the funeral banquet must bring funeral gifts: a wreath, a piece of silk or clothing, and a knife of papyrus. Regardless of age, they must kneel down and salute the deceased. 3. A filial son cannot eat during the funeral ceremony that night. Unless the body has special needs. You must wear mourning clothes for the wake that night. 4. On the day of the funeral, all peers and juniors of the deceased who have participated in the funeral wine must generally go to accompany the funeral. 5. No wine other than white wine is allowed at the funeral banquet, and no drinks other than brewed green tea are allowed.