A joke ruined a child's life.

I took my children for a walk in the park and met such a thing.

Although the weather is very cold, the children are running and jumping, with a lot of activities and a lot of sweat.

Business in the canteen in the park is booming. Many parents bought drinks with their children, and some of them still had cold drinks in their hands.

A little girl begged her mother to buy a cone to eat.

My mother looked stern: I promised my mother at home that I couldn't eat ice when I came out. ?

The little girl seemed afraid of her mother, but she couldn't resist the temptation of the cone and continued begging. Her mother agreed.

Without thinking, the cone I just got was dropped by the little girl.

The little girl froze on the spot, her face turned white, and her expression was disappointed and frightened.

The compromised mother's face was clouded.

The little girl looked at her mother's face and burst into tears, which attracted everyone to look at the cone on the ground and the situation of mother and daughter, revealing a clear look.

Stimulated by the onlookers' eyes, the mother, who was already on the verge of anger, grabbed her daughter's ass twice and beat and scolded: I told you not to eat, but you must eat!

You cried before I scolded you! You are crying again! Xxx (child's name), I don't care about you! Go home by yourself

The noisy canteen was filled with the little girl's crying and her mother's scolding.

Mother Chen couldn't bear to watch it again, and her heart was mixed. Especially when the mother and daughter left, the figure of the little girl was particularly lonely.

I don't know the child's heart, how can I evaluate this day to come out to play?

Do our parents have any better ways to deal with when their children are out of control?

It is best not to say these words to children.

1/

Impatient

I'll count to 3, 2, 1. If I don't count, I'll take the consequences! You are crying again! Come on, come on, stop! I just

Are these two sentences familiar to parents? Especially? 3、2、 1? Countdown is a killer for parents.

A few days ago, actress Zheng Shuang took care of her baby in a variety show. Count to three? The way has made many netizens criticize.

Is it useful to count to three if the child doesn't want to sleep?

I wonder if mom and dad have noticed that the older the child, count to three. The less effective this method is.

After talking a lot, the child clearly knows that this matter does not necessarily need to be done immediately with reference to what you said; And will the child really realize where he is wrong? No, he will only obey your request. At the same time, out of rebellious psychology, children will be more extreme and even contradict you.

Visible? Count to three? This is not a good way to communicate, it is too simple and rude.

Marshall Luxembourg said in nonviolent communication:

Maybe we don't think our way of talking is violent, but our language does often bring pain to ourselves and others.

Yes, when children fall into their own emotions, it is unrealistic and irrational to force them to do what their parents say at once.

Parents may wish to put aside their normal mind first and not to oppress their children in a hurry.

Only patient parents can educate their children patiently. Emotional peace is both sides.

2/

don't understand; ignorant of

Why don't you listen to adults! How can this child be so stubborn!

Parents are confused and crazy, why children just don't listen.

Was he born by himself? What the hell was he thinking? That's ridiculous.

It is often because some adults don't seem to be a problem at all. Children suddenly get angry, cry and show extreme emotions, and parents and children are at a loss.

Tell a story about Chen Ma when he was a child.

Once on my birthday, an uncle from afar brought me a cake.

This is the first time that Chen Ma has ever seen such a beautiful cake. She didn't want to take a bite, but she put it squarely in the middle of the table. She just looked at such a beautiful birthday present and was filled with joy.

But mom's mom insisted that mom cut the cake in half for her cousin to eat.

At that time, I cried with a wow.

But mom stressed: It's too hot. If you leave it, it will go bad. ?

She ignored my wishes and didn't cut the cake under my fierce opposition.

But two days later, my mother was angered by the unfinished and slightly sour cake, and our mother and daughter quarreled again. I even tore up a lot of homework to show my resistance. Did you write it down? Don't worry about it from now on? Note.

Because of a cake, the relationship between mother and daughter fell to freezing point on my birthday.

Now my mother still talks about it a lot.

Mother doesn't want to argue about the right or wrong of this matter. But it wasn't until I became a mother that I understood some of the reasons when I was a child.

My mother wanted me to share her heart with her, but she used the wrong method. I'm too stubborn.

Until now, I still remember the way I cried and the injustice of not being respected on my birthday.

Although this is not enough to be a barrier between mother and daughter, it does leave an indelible shadow in Chen Ma's heart, especially in his childhood.

So after becoming a mother, I am more willing to listen to my children's thoughts.

Yes, children really have their own ideas.

Yes, parents should learn to accept it; Wrong, parents should find ways to correct it.

It is the practice of parents to accept their children's temper.

Psychologist Edward Thorndike said:

Only by looking at the problem from the child's point of view can parents understand the child's psychological needs, not draw arbitrary conclusions, reduce conflicts with children and win their trust.

True understanding is the bridge between parents and children.

3/

Say give up

I leave you alone! Anything you want is fine!

This is the angry words of a parent. In the eyes of children, how to understand this sentence?

On the one hand, the subtext of this sentence is: if you don't listen to me, my relationship with you will be completely broken; On the other hand, children don't have enough ability to survive alone, and parents threaten their weaknesses. If the child is rebellious, he will even deliberately self-destruct against his parents.

You see, in a word, it has such a great lethality.

The threat came out, and both the speaker and the obedient were hurt.

Incredibly, parents really do this.

A few days ago, a father left his son in the cemetery.

I don't know how scared and helpless that little boy was at that time.

Because of that? I don't care if you want you or not. This has become a reality.

When we are angry, the body will have a stress reaction, which makes us feel insecure.

A broken sense of security is like a dam that parents personally destroy their children's hearts. It is easy to destroy, but difficult to rebuild.

In the face of children whose emotions are out of control, parents cannot lose control with their children.

Compared with swearing and quarreling, it has no effect on relatives and hurts people more.

A good word warms three winters, and a bad word hurts June. ?

Your words are very light, but they carry the children's future.

I hope that every parent will start with his mouth when treating his children.

Let children truly feel love and respect, and don't let the most intimate words become the most hurtful poison.

Encourage each other