Some simple and easy-to-understand humorous homophone jokes on Weibo (a collection of 40 sentences)

Some simple and easy-to-understand humorous homophone jokes on Weibo (Part 1)

1. Once upon a time, a snake wanted to get the brightest gem in the world, but it couldn’t get it no matter what. No, the snake can't, the snake can't, do you hear it? It's reluctant.

2. Why do evil houses in horror movies always have a piano? It’s because “there are several demons living in the piano.”

3. The martial arts leader was forced into a corner by him, covering his wounds and slumped on the ground, waiting for him to raise the knife and drop it, but he withdrew the knife, knelt on the ground, and murmured in pain. : "She has already left... Even if I rule the world... so what..." The leader of the martial arts alliance endured the severe pain and said hoarsely: "A bucket of paste... can post many photos of Xunren. Announcement..."

4. If you don't even get me, why do you get the sword above?

5. It rained and I stepped on the mud. The mud hurt me and I fell. I hate mud. Did you hear me? I hate mud.

6. Nezha asked Wukong: "Conquer the demon, do you dare?" Wukong: "Love me like...like you said?"

7 .Pumpkin, Purple Potato and Peanut are good friends. One day, Peanut asked them to play. Pumpkin asked Peanut, who else is there? Peanut said, I, Purple Potato, are with you, did you hear that? I belong only to you.

8. One day, the little pig and the little leopard went to eat. The boss said: What do you two want to eat? The little pig said: Give me some pig food. The boss said: Okay, one day. Pig food, what do you want, little leopard. The little leopard said: leopard food. The boss said: It’s eight o’clock sharp Beijing time.

9. An old colleague’s signature on Dingding read “God is a girl.” I asked him why he became so artistic, and he said it was “God is unfair.”

10. Mr. Yu Guangzhong: "Don't ask me if you are in my heart. You are all in my heart."

11. If you don't even reply to me, what are you replying to? The temptation of home?

12. One day the duck confessed to the chicken: Chicken, I love you. Chick: You don't have to.

13. One day, the little bear bought an ice cream. The sun was like fire. The ice cream melted and fell to the ground. The little bear said: "It looks like mud, it looks like mud." Did you hear it, okay? Miss you.

14. "Have you seen my crape myrtle?" "Isn't your mouth right on your face?"

15. Do you have "A Brief History of Time"? Why would I pick that thing up when I have time?

16. When the Want Want Snow Cake feels hot, it will turn into a Want Want Cover.

17. No matter how tall you are, you still have to bend down and talk to me when you meet me?

18. When I was seventeen years old, I grabbed a cicada. I thought I caught the whole summer. Cicada: I can’t say I love it, but I just like it at all!

19. It rained heavily today. My friend asked me if I wanted an umbrella. I said no. No umbrella. Did you hear me? Don’t scatter. Don’t scatter.

20. "What do you think a piece of glass will say about jumping off a building?" "What?" "Good night, I'll break it." Some simple and easy-to-understand humorous homophone jokes on Weibo ( Chapter 2)

21. The dragon thanks the crab for cooking it, and the kindness is the crab's kindness to the dragon.

22. When the Want Want snow cake is hot, it turns into Want Want quilt!

23. The Foolish Old Man said to his son: Move the mountains, move the mountains. Son: Shining.

24. I have been short since I was a child. When I grow up, I am still short. Still short. Still short. Did you hear it? Still love.

25. You said that girls with apple-shaped muscles smile naturally, but do girls with Android phones have awkward smiles?

26. If you don’t even appreciate me, why do you appreciate me? ?Good quality?

27. The shrimp and the clam got 100 points at the same time. The teacher asked the shrimp whose copy you copied. The shrimp said: "I copied the clam." The teacher said: "What are you good at?"

”

28. Find Ouyang Xiu.

29. Wearing AirPods all day will affect your love luck, because AirPods do not have an audio cable.

30. Let’s go with the mushrooms On the way, he was hit by Chengzi. Shiigu said angrily: "You don't have eyes, go to hell." Then Chengzi died. Because the bacteria want the orange to die, the orange has to die. .

31. You know why the fox can’t stand up? It’s because he is cunning.

32. Today I went to an island called Buavogyura Island.

33. The tiger in the zoo turned the lion green, why? Because Tiger has a Green Lion certificate.

34. The male shark stunned the female shark and took two photos. When he arrived at the police station, the police asked him why. He said aggrievedly: "I just wanted to take two photos of the stunned shark with her." . ”

35. It’s 37 degrees today and it’s very hot. I bought two ice cream sticks and we each took one to relieve the heat. Did you hear that we are finished.

36. The girl said to her father, "Dad, where are we going?" Her father didn't hear her, and her mother smiled. The girl said to her mother, "Mom, why are you laughing?" Her mother slapped her.

37. Nowadays, the future is really tight: masks are tight, hands are tight, clothes are tight, and trousers are tight.

38. I want a cup of pumpkin almond dew, not apricots, not melons, not dew, but Nanren.

39. Men are not lustful, so what’s the point? Are they good to you?

40. Do you know why Beijingers don’t say homophones? Because old Beijing is disharmonious. Some classic and humorous jokes

The secret of the chat was revealed

A buddy asked me on WeChat whether I was there and how I was doing recently, and he replied with a "Okay, that's it."

Unexpectedly, when my friend asked to borrow money, he had to reply "It's okay, that's it", and pretended to be an automatic reply several times in a row.

As a result, my buddy said: "If you don't have money, just say it. I can understand you. WeChat doesn't have automatic replies, so why not!"

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The idea is the same

Today I sent the drunk girl home, put her on the bed, and gave her When I covered myself with the quilt and turned to leave, I was grabbed by the girl: "I was actually pretending to be drunk! It seems that you are really serious, so I decided to tell you that Du Xis is under the pillow!"

I was furious after hearing this: "You told me earlier, I was planning to go downstairs to buy it!"

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The most painful day for a man: December 1st; the most comfortable day for a man: January 31st.

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I said to a beautiful girl: "I will treat you to dinner today. "She said: "Don't eat, let's try another day~" I was very excited!

I said to a brother: "I will treat you to dinner today." He said: "Don't eat, let's try another day~" I was very embarrassed...

A pair of beautiful girls I said: "I'll treat you to dinner today." I said: "I won't eat, let's try another day~" She said no -_-!

A dinosaur said to me: "I'll treat you to dinner today." I pointed at the wretched man next to me and said: "Someday~"

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A kissing scene appeared on TV, and the father asked his son to get a glass of water. Soon, there was another kissing scene on TV. The father asked his son to get another glass of water. The son asked: Dad, do you get thirsty when you see someone kissing you?

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Xiaomei: I went to a concert yesterday.

Xiao Wang: Really, that’s good. Whose concert is it?

Xiaomei: Jaylen.

I like him the most. Yesterday's concert was wonderful.

Xiao Wang:? It seems like Jaylen hasn't held any concerts recently.

Xiaomei: I watched it on TV

Xiaowang: ...￥…………I started to admire you!

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There was a man in the hotel lobby and wanted to go over and ask the waiter. The problem is, when he turned around and walked towards the counter, he accidentally bumped into a woman next to him and touched her chest with his elbow. The man turned around and said, "Madam, if your heart is with you "If your breasts are as soft, you will definitely forgive me." The lady replied, "If your job is as hard as your elbows, I am in room 1221."

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A man visited a brothel and asked the woman the price. The woman answered: 50 yuan. The man saw it was cheap and did it. The woman He said: Please pay 100 yuan. The man asked why. The woman answered that it was 50 yuan each for entry and exit. The man said angrily: You are China Mobile and you are charging in both directions!

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The twins chatted in their mother’s belly. The eldest said: Dad is good , often sticks his head out to see us. He just doesn’t care about hygiene and will leave after spitting. The second child said: It’s better to have the uncle next door. After he spits out, he puts it away in a bag.

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A certain man had not had sex for a long time, and his wife felt very uncomfortable. One day, he asked her to take off her clothes and stand upside down in front of a mirror, and she was overjoyed to do so. . He spread his wife's legs, put his chin behind his wife's vagina, and asked her: "Does my beard look good?"

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The worst time I was beaten in childhood

I remember when I was a kid, a beggar came to my door and my dad gave him a dime.

The old man said: "I don't need money as long as I am full."

My dad served the old man a lot of food without saying a word.

After the grandfather left, my dad said: "There are really few old people begging like this. They are really poor but they have a lot of backbone."

Then I told my dad : "When I grow up, I will only need to eat without paying for food. I will also be a person with integrity."

That was the worst beating I ever received in my childhood.

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Called a lion before shedding

a A man went out with a Tibetan Mastiff and happened to meet an old man walking with an unknown dog that had lost all its hair.

The man said to the old man: "Do you dare to compete with my dog? If the dog loses, the owner will give the other 100 yuan."

The old man I agreed, and in the end it was the old man’s dog that won!

The man asked in surprise: "What kind of dog is this?"

The old man smiled and said: "I don't know what kind of dog it is now, I only know that it hasn't fallen off." Mao used to be called a lion!"

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He only has the IQ of taking the wrong medicine.了

When I was in junior high school, in math class, a male classmate fell asleep on the table.

The teacher woke him up and asked: "Why are you sleeping?"

He said: "I took the wrong medicine. I took it in vain and in the evening."

The teacher said helplessly: "Go to sleep, your IQ is of no use."

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The young couple quarreled over a trivial matter.

After the quarrel, the husband felt regretful and asked his wife to watch the scene of two horses pulling a cart outside. He said, "Why can't we move forward together like those two horses?"

The wife said angrily: "We are not two horses, because one of us is a donkey!"

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Xiao Wang, a young worker, wanted to change his job, so he invited the factory director to have a drink. After drinking for three rounds, Xiao Wang took out the application report and pen and handed them to the factory director. The drunk factory director took the pen and heavily signed two words on the application report - good wine.

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One day, an elephant in the zoo died suddenly, and the keeper When he arrived, he immediately fell on the elephant and cried bitterly. Seeing this scene, the tourists couldn't help being deeply moved, and they all said: "The relationship between this keeper and this elephant is too deep." Unexpectedly, one person interjected: "This zoo has a rule that if an animal raised by someone dies, Then the keeper has to dig the animal’s grave. How can he not cry? ”

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He Si had a dispute with his neighbor, and He Si rudely scolded the other party: "You are a pig!" The security guard of the residential area found out about this, so He Si was fined 30 yuan. .

He Si received the ticket and was very unconvinced: "Last month I also called him a pig, but you only fined me 20 yuan."

"I'm sorry." The security guard gave a wry smile and said, "The price of pork has increased recently."

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After lunch, the boss happily returned to the office and told the staff a few jokes he had heard outside. All the staff burst into laughter except for one female staff member.

The boss said to the female employee: "What's wrong? Don't you have any sense of humor?"

The female employee replied: "I don't need to laugh! Anyway, I'm going to I’m leaving next week.” Homogenous meme copywriting that will make you laugh all day (a collection of 40 sentences)

Homogenous meme copywriting that will make you laugh all day long (Part 1)

1. You didn’t even kiss me, why did you kiss me? Tsingtao beer?

2. I was so idle at home that mushrooms grew. I cooked them and ate them. I was poisoned and went to the hospital. The doctor said that I What I got was a good mushroom poison.

3. You didn’t even add my WeChat account, so what did you add, Canada?

4. There was a piece of glass that was a little sleepy and then it jumped down from upstairs and said: Good night, I broke it!

5. You don’t even want me, so what do you want? Food?

6. Only ugly people have partners, and beautiful people sell air conditioners.

7. The martial arts leader was forced into a corner by him, covering his wounds and slumped on the ground, waiting for him to raise the knife and drop it, but he withdrew the knife, knelt on the ground, and murmured in pain. : "She has already left... Even if I rule the world... so what..." The leader of the martial arts alliance endured the severe pain and said hoarsely: "A bucket of paste... can post many photos of Xunren. Announcement..."

8. One day, the little bear planted a strawberry and a mango, and found that the strawberry grew very slowly. The little bear said: "Berry, you can't do it. Berry, you can't do it. Did you hear that? I can't do it without you."

9. I bought a piece of clothing today. I feel comfortable wearing it. I feel comfortable wearing it. Did you hear that? It’s always been there.

10. When I was seventeen years old, I grabbed a cicada. I thought I caught the whole summer. Cicada: I can’t say I love it, but I just like it at all!

11. The male shark stunned the female shark and took two photos. When he arrived at the police station, the police asked him why. He said aggrievedly: "I just wanted to take two photos of the stunned shark with her." . ”

12. The power went out while I was eating. I quickly took a few bites of rice, and suddenly the light came on. I exclaimed, could this be the legendary "Pala La" light?

13. One day I found a little bit of dust on my body. I slapped it hard but it couldn’t fall off. The dust wouldn’t go away. The dust wouldn’t go away. Did you hear that?

14. Do you like ladylike or cute style, or am I an epileptic?

15. I found an island today that will make you fascinated.

16. Even I don’t cherish it, so what do you cherish?

17. I don’t care, so what do you care about? Italy

18. Yongqi helped Huang Ama take a bath, and even got out Ama mud.

19. The clothes are wrinkled and I can’t even iron them with an iron. I said don’t wrinkle them, don’t wrinkle them. Did you hear me? Don't go.

20. Girls who love to laugh are always in good shape. Why? Homophonic meme copywriting that will make you laugh all day long (Part 2)

21. I washed some dates today. They were originally packed together, but they fell apart when I washed them. Dates fell apart. Dates fell apart. Did you hear that? Gone early.

22. Once upon a time, there was a little pig who planted a strawberry and a mango. The strawberry grew very slowly, so the little pig said to the strawberry, "You can't do it, Berry, you can't do it."

23. Guo Donglin suddenly had kidney stones. His agent called his wife: Donglin had kidney stones. His wife was stunned: Want to see the sea?

24. The emperor returned from a private visit incognito. When the empress dowager met, she asked, "Are my children tired from this trip?" The emperor was shocked and said, "My...my name is lilei" ?”

25. My stomach hurts in the middle of the night. I said, “Wei, can you calm down?” Wei said, “My name is not Wei, my name is Chu Yuxun.”

26. "What will happen if you put a pear and a grain of rice in the refrigerator?" "Frozen pear and rice (don't leave me)!

27. One day, the boy was wiping the table and accidentally wiped it. After killing two ants, a little ant came. The boy asked it: "Little ant, where are your parents?" "The little ant said: "You wiped it to death"

28. Yu Gong said to his son: Move mountains, move mountains. Son: Shining.

29. You like apple juice, Grape juice or just me?

30. How did the door handle of the company conference room get broken?

31. My uncle had his hair cut. Fierce, because he turned into a vulture

32. Do you have an English name for being so bad, called Paul, because Paul is so bad (Korchagin)

33. It’s normal not to reply to messages. Have you ever seen a beautiful woman who is not busy?

34. Xiao Wang didn’t know how to cross the river, but after searching on Baidu, he actually crossed it.

35. .I went to an island today, called Buavojiura Island

36. I want a cup of pumpkin almond dew, not apricot, not melon, not dew, but nanren. 37. I said that I prefer Li Bai’s poems, and Lu You was so angry that our family couldn’t access the Internet.

38. Wearing AirPods all day long will affect your luck in love, because AirPods don’t have audio cables.

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39. When Wangwang snow cake feels hot, it will turn into Wangwang.

40. Usually good-looking girls can get things done by acting coquettishly, but I have to rely on threats. . The most popular homophonic jokes on Xiaohongshu (a collection of 60 sentences)

The most popular homophonic jokes on Xiaohongshu Part 1

1. The sparrow mother smells Xiao. Sparrow: "Baby, what kind of hairstyle do you want to wear today?" "Little sparrow: "Chirp, chirp~"

2. I went to buy oysters. On the way home, all the oysters jumped out of the bag and got into the soil. It turns out that this is called oysters like mud.

3. There was a piece of glass. It was a little sleepy and then it jumped down from upstairs and said: Good night, I broke it!

4. The name of the doctor who helped Wang Dalu deliver the baby must be Columbus, because he discovered the New World.

5. If Ouyang Xiu can't do it, go find Wang Zhiqian.

6. I accidentally stepped on an ant to death. The little ant said aggrievedly, "That's the queen ant, woo woo woo, we don't have a queen ant anymore."

7. You can’t tell people who are afraid of dogs: Life is not just about the dogs in front of you, but there are also dogs on the street.

8. Doraemon has no neck because he cares about hygiene, because his blue neck has mud.

9. Xiao Ming had a quarrel with his mother, and Xiao Ming rushed out of the door angrily, so there was no door to Xiao Ming’s house.

10. a: What did you eat today b: Didn’t eat duck b: I ate hot and sour bamboo shoots

11. A sheep migrated.

12. I said to the crow’s feet at the corners of my eyes: We have to bounce around.

13. Who doesn’t like easy love? Think about the history of Liu Bei and Guan Yu's love for Zhang Yide.

14. I understand a truth, ugly people should study more. People used to say that I was not good at studying, but they were actually praising me for being beautiful.

15. You don’t even hurt me, so why does it hurt? Tengger?

16. This is a pencil, this is a pen, you are my baby.

17. Zhang Fei escorted Liu Bei back to Jingzhou. Unexpectedly, he was ambushed by Cao Cao's army on the way. Liu Bei fled in a hurry. When he encountered a cliff on the road, Zhang Fei shouted, "Lord, rein in your horse!" Liu Bei: I am happy to be your mother!

18. The Foolish Old Man said to his son: Move the mountains, move the mountains. Son: Shining.

19. Once upon a time, one day, the snake wanted to get the brightest gem in the world, but it couldn't get it. The snake couldn't get it, the snake couldn't get it. Did you hear it? It was reluctant.

20. The animal that should not be messed with is the orangutan, because it beats its chest. Part 2 of the popular homophonic jokes on Xiaohongshu

21. If the coal doesn’t catch fire, it turns out it’s a fault with the coal.

22. When the Wangwang snow cake feels hot, it will turn into a Wangwang quilt.

23. Two adults are playing chess. The child: Uncle, your rook is gone. Uncle: What kind of car? This is called JU. Child: Oh, uncle, you were ridden away by yourself.

24. The puff was squashed and my mother said it couldn’t be eaten. I asked why because it was a flat puff.

25. One day, the ant got lost, but luckily he met another ant, so he asked the ant: "How do you get back to the ant nest?" The other ant said: "Take the Smiling or...very silent"

26. Hello, I want a cup of pumpkin almond dew, not melon, not apricot, not dew, but Nanren.

27. "Maybe I am a loach" "Why" "Because I like mud"

28. Before his death, Yu Gong said to his son: "Move mountains, move mountains." The son said: "Sparkling".

29. You said that girls with apple-shaped muscles smile very naturally. Do girls with Android phones smile very awkwardly?

30. My uncle cut his hair and became fierce because He became a vulture.

31. I have been short since I was a child. When I grow up, I am still short. Still short. Still short. Did you hear it? Still love.

32. Let me share with you the types of chili peppers, non-spicy, slightly spicy, spicy, sweet and spicy. It’s spicy for my birthday today.

33. If you don’t even coax me, then who are you coaxing, Hong Shixian?

34. The doctor prescribed some pills to me. I accidentally knocked over the bottle, and the pills rolled out with a crackle. It turned out to be Haoxiangchu pills.

35. Why do evil houses in horror movies always have a piano? It’s because “there are several demons living in the piano.”

36. The little ducks were queuing up to find their mother. One little duck wanted to align with the duck in front of it, but it couldn't be aligned. So the little duck said anxiously, "It's not aligned with the duck, it's not aligned." Duck, I'm sorry.

37. When the Want Want snow cake is hot, it turns into Want Want quilt!

38. If you don’t even make a date with me, then what are you going to make a date with? Do you have three chapters to make a date?

39. Would it be cute if I called a toad a toad? I called a coyote Wolf, and only Gina found it cute.

40. Xu Xian bought a hat for his wife. Why does the white lady’s head feel so heavy after putting it on? Because that is a peaked cap! Part 3 of the popular homophonic jokes on Xiaohongshu

41. Yongqi helped Huang Ama take a bath, and even got mud from the bath.

42. I was busy at home and mushrooms grew. I cooked and ate the mushrooms and got poisoned. I went to the hospital and the doctor said I was poisoned by good mushrooms.

43. I was so hungry, so I had to hold my fist and hit my stomach to help myself vent my hunger.

44. Tell those who used to look down on me that I own a house, not rent it, it was just opened in Kings Canyon, okay?

45. A boy ate his classmate, who happened to be a boy.

46. The mother cat scolded the kitten and said: "Why did you tear the caught mouse into pieces? Don't you think it is cruel to do so?" The kitten Li Ququ said: But the mouse pieces are really delicious.

47. Today I went to an island called Buavojiura Island.

48. There was a pineapple who went to get a haircut. He sat there for a long time and the barber never gave him a haircut, so he said: "Please take care of me" (angrily coaxing the subject's eyes)

49. Once upon a time, there was a little pig who planted a strawberry and a mango. The strawberry grew very slowly, so the little pig said to the strawberry, "You can't do it, Berry, you can't do it."

50. "Why does Xu Xian let Bai Suzhen go when she sings every time she gets angry?" "Because she is the best at singing snake songs."

51. Xiahhe Beng got 100 points in the exam at the same time. The teacher asked Xia whose copy you copied. Xia said: "I copied Beng's." The teacher said: "You are so good."

52. When I was in Gucci, Tears are always para para dior.

53. I don’t care, what do you care about? Italy

54. “That girl, she has apple muscles, and her smile is natural” “What you said, is it true? A girl with an Android phone gets stuck when she smiles."

55. When I think of him entangled with that snake every day, I can't help but get entangled with him.

56. OK, bad, whatever. The three of them are good friends. One day, OK asked bad to go out with Suiba, so he called Suiba, and Suiba asked who was there. Ah, Bad Bar said: Let’s make peace.

57. One day, the little bear was playing with the balloon bear, shouting and chasing, Qiuqiu, don’t go, Qiuqiu, don’t go, did you hear that, please don’t go.

58. Once upon a time, there were two turtles that looked very similar. One was called home and the other was called out. After the physical examination, the doctor took the case sheet and asked who the sick one belonged to. Take a closer look. , I am a turtle at home.

59. One day, the little bear was washing clothes, but there was a spot that couldn’t be cleaned no matter how hard he washed it. Mother Bear said, “Rub it carefully.” The little bear’s eyes turned red and he said, “Rub it, rub it, rub it.”

60. The clothes are wrinkled and I can’t iron them evenly with the iron. I said don’t wrinkle them, don’t wrinkle them. Did you hear me? Don't go.