One-person comedy sketch

How long will it take?

A short period of time, like two or three minutes, can make some jokes. For example:

A child who just entered the first grade of primary school wrote a letter when he heard that his old uncle was sick. , the content is as follows: Dear old ○: I heard that you have ○, you should take good care of ○, and never give birth to ○ (make an egg out of ○)! My old uncle fainted when he saw it! Why so many circles? It turns out that what the nephew wanted to say was: Dear uncle, I heard that you are sick. You should take good care of yourself and never get out of bed.

Reverse the front and back, base the front, and then enrich it a little to create a short stand-up comedy

You can use this if it lasts about ten minutes

< p>A smart person can be confused sometimes. Some are confused for a while, and some are confused for a lifetime. I belong to the latter. Been confused all my life. It’s too late now that I realize the importance of learning culture.

What should I say? I have never been to school, Qu Xin. It would be a shame to say that I have studied. The old man asked me to go to school for two years, but I was sick for one and a half years. Only half a year left. I took another five months off. There was still one month left, and I skipped school for twenty-nine days. The last day was left, and I still had a Sunday to rest.

Chinese characters are difficult to learn. Some characters have two sounds in one character. One sound, but many words. Read all in one sound. For example, there are many words that read "one" for the number one, such as: "clothes", "clothes", "to go to the doctor for sudden illness", capital "one", "yi" for "bow", "reluctance" for "unyielding", "yi" for "unyielding", how many "one" do you think there are?

One sound has one word. If you can’t write the second one, is there such a word? Yes, not many. Like east, west, south, north, there is only one. Big and small, there is only one. There is only one household registration. There is only one water in the mountains and rivers, and you can't find the second one. If you don't believe it, just look for it. If you find it, it won't be in vain. I'll treat you. A real treat, no matter who is looking for it, whoever wants it is looking for it, and whoever finds it is treated. Find it. Why don't you treat me to a treat? I only know a few words? Can I invite you? Chinese characters not only have many characters for one sound, but also have double sounds for one character. It's the same word, but it has a different sound when placed here, and a different sound when placed there. Just take the word "bicycle": bicycle, trolley, carriage, car, train, tricycle, all in one word. It’s the same word for “Car”, but in another place, it doesn’t read “Car”. The chess game requires reading (ju). Headshot, vault, and ju. It can't be said that it's a first shot, a vault, and I'm out of the car (ju). Get out of the car? The chessboard was crushed.

Chinese people are the smartest, not very literate, but good at using words. When they should pronounce 车 (ju), they pronounce 车 (ju), and when they should pronounce 车 (che), they pronounce 车 (che).

For example, if this person wants to take a tricycle and go to the train station to catch the train, he always says: "Tricycle!" "Where are you going?" "I'll go to the train station to catch the train." "Good day. Get on the bus." "Please hurry up and don't miss the bus." "Don't worry." It'll be here soon. "Don't you miss it? We've arrived at the train station. You can get off the train." The above words cannot be said to be unpleasant.

"Tricycle (ju)!"

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to the train (ju) station to catch the train."

p>

"Okay, get in the car (ju)."

"Please pedal the car (ju) faster, and don't miss the car (ju)."

"Don't worry."

It arrived in a while.

"Sir, please understand, we are at the train station, please get off."

This is so ugly. Everyone knows the word "行" for bicycles, walking, traveling, luggage, people walking on the sidewalk, walking on foot, whether it's OK...it all means OK (xing). It’s the same word, but in another place, you don’t have to read it, you have to read it (hang). The People's Bank of China, a certain commercial bank, quotations, market conditions, bank appointments, and bank regulations. You are really an expert. You can't leave the bank without saying anything, and you must read it all (hang). You can't say that you are good at it (xing), but you are really good at it (xing). Three words cannot be separated from your own practice (xing). How unpleasant this sounds.

There is also the word "zhang", the parent's length. School principal, village chief, township chief, group leader, county chief, squad leader, platoon leader, company commander, division commander, mayor of Beijing, Quan Nian Zhang (zhang).

It’s still the same long character, but if it’s in another place, it won’t be longer. Think of Chang (chang), a city that is ten thousand miles long (chang), a river that is ten thousand miles long (chang), a long time (chang), and a long time (chang). These are all thought of long (chang). There is also this saying: When you meet a living thing, you have to think long (zhang), and when you meet a dead thing, you have to think long (chang).

Living things: For example, planting a small sapling, "Oh! The sapling hasn't grown so tall in two years. It grows so fast, and it will become useful in just a few years. It will become useful in just a few years." After that, cut it down and turn it into wood. The dead thing is said to be long (chang). This wood is long enough and cannot be used as a beam. The sawed waste can also be used to make table legs. Er. The table legs don’t need to be this long. Can’t the table legs be this long?

There are also the words for meeting, conference, and small meeting. Conference room, conference, speech at the conference, small meeting discussion, report meeting, this is also the word hui. If you change the place and don’t read hui, read hui (kuai): Accountant Zhang, Accountant Wang, come to the meeting (hui). kuai) The school has a meeting (hui). It cannot be said that Zhang Hui (hui) plans, and the Hui (hui) plan has a meeting (huai).

I think China. People are the smartest people who don't know these words, but when they say it, they say it's right. When they should say xing, they should say it. When they should say it, they should say it. When they should say it, they should say it. (chang) is a long story. If you don’t believe me, listen to me: "Zhang Hui (kuai)ji, today I am attending the conference. I want to ask you to do something. Lend me your bicycle to ride. I will go to the People's Bank of China (hang) to find Can you please go and do something? Zhang Huiji said: "Okay, okay, okay." ”

Listen, line is line, line (hang) is line (hang), length (zhang) is (zhang), you can’t say it’s reversed. It’s particularly ugly to say it’s reversed. It’s not said that way. : "Zhang Hui (hui) plan, today I am going to attend the conference (kuai). Please do me a favor. Lend me your bicycle (hang) and bike (ju) for a ride. I went to the People's Bank of China (xing) to see the bank (xing) chief (chang) to do something, can (hang) do it (hang)? ”

Listen to Lao Zhang again: “No (hang), no (hang)!” "Who knows this!

You can delete it as appropriate and decide whether to tell it all according to the situation, or you can process it yourself and add some of your own things in it.

It is not recommended to use Liu Baorui's classics First of all, the audience is too familiar with the joke, and secondly, the baggage is too thick, and you are not entertaining people.