Avoidant personality

Avoidant personality is characterized by being afraid of everything and not daring to fight for it. Let the escapee take part in a competition, and he will say no; Participate in blind date activities, and you will also say no; The competition director will say that he is not qualified. Always flinching, he feels that everything, especially good things, has nothing to do with himself, a typical evasive personality.

Avoidant personality is too sensitive, "especially afraid of being criticized and laughed at by others, afraid of making jokes." As long as you are not sure that the other party has unconditional goodwill, you will avoid establishing relations with the other party. "Extremely insecure" and "avoiding situations that may hurt or embarrass you: meeting strangers, having easy jobs and developing intimate relationships" are not difficult for ordinary people, but it is even more difficult for people with evasive personality. I will laugh at myself, "I have a low self-evaluation, and I often underestimate my ability and belittle my success. "Fear of failure and always remain humble and give in, or engage in overqualified work", always flinch. "This kind of personality is typical of the hero in the movie Superman. It is a typical escapist personality to change back to Clark when Superman hasn't changed, and to change back to Clark as a reporter. In fact, he is very strong and capable, always shrinking, always shy, and can't open his mouth when talking to girls. That's the kind of person.

What should I do in the face of avoidant personality? Suggest to avoidant personality to realize the goal step by step. Cheryl Sandberg, the author of Step Forward, found that a large number of women suffer from impostor syndrome. For example, she is obviously a female doctor and professor, but she will feel worthless in her heart, and her grades are mixed, and she doesn't know how to get that degree. Many people have this condition, which is called impostor syndrome. These people can easily escape. When the opportunity comes, they sit back, afraid to discuss at the dinner table, and always sit in the last row. Cheryl Sandberg said "lean forward", sit forward and participate. Show the avoidant personality that you care about his opinion, and ask him for his opinion to let him speak. "Show the avoidant personality that you can accept different opinions", and it doesn't matter if you have different ideas. "If you want to criticize the evader, praise him first, and then clearly point out that one of his actions is inappropriate." . Tell him "you are not criticizing him, but some kind of behavior;" Your criticism of him does not prevent you from appreciating him in other situations; You understand his thoughts. " With your consistent support, let the escapers feel at ease. Encourage people with avoidant personality to seek medical treatment.

What should I not do in the face of avoidant personality? Don't laugh at the evader's intentions, don't be sarcastic; Don't get angry easily; Don't let the escapee take on all the hard work, because he is willing to do such hard work.