A long joke of two people (dialogue)

1 When I was single, I always forced myself to wash clothes. In order to get rid of this hard life, I resolutely found a girlfriend. Yes, you didn't guess wrong. Now I also wash my girlfriend's clothes. Stop talking, it's all tears. I have to hang the clothes.

2 I asked to go out to play in the summer vacation, but my father refused. He said: after marriage, if something happens, I won't be responsible. I ... I ... I won't say anything.

3 Dad was drunk and asked me, "Yuyu, is anyone chasing you?" I said, "Yes, there are too many people chasing me. I'm choosing!" " Dad suddenly smiled and said, "Dad just likes the character of our jade. Nobody can chase it, but he can still blow it!" "

4 Today, my son's kindergarten group went to the aquarium to see penguins. After returning home in the afternoon, the kindergarten teacher called me and said that my son had disappeared halfway. Later, when I found it, I got wet all over. I apologized, and I said I was fine and hung up. After a while, my son came back, only to see him put down his schoolbag and open it. Nima, there is a vivid penguin in it ... Now he is calling the Aquarium to explain that this Xiong Haizi ...

5 An old man was blown down by a van when he was crossing the road. Everyone was worried, but the old man stood up and patted the dirt on his body. Just as everyone was relieved, the van driver rolled down the window and shouted, "Bad old man, want to die! No longer eyes! " The old man was stupefied. He first gave the driver a meaningful look, then slowly sat back on the ground and lay flat.

Go home on Saturday and watch TV with my parents. Dad stared at me and said meaningfully, "How can I see that my daughter doesn't look like me?" Not at all. " Then my mother said, "My daughter is 21 years old, so don't get to the bottom of it. Pretend to be stupid. At least she has a wife and a daughter. In case she finds something, her wife runs away and her daughter is gone ..." I ...

7 A few days ago, a group of us went to celebrate the birthday of a female colleague. When we were about to leave, a colleague said, "Today is your birthday. Why are you dressed so casually?" She asked, "How do you wear it?" At this time, I don't know what happened to my brain, and suddenly I said, "At least put on a shroud!" " Her face turned green in an instant ...