Daily joke: Dream of being a teacher.

A friend once published a sentence in the space, "Give me a girl and I can create a nation!" " "God commented:" Give you a sow, can you create a new breed! " "

2. I stole my dad's soju when I was a child.

When I was a child, I stole my dad's soju and woke up to find myself tied to a post. I didn't know I was drunk until I asked, pointing to my dad with a cigarette in his mouth and saying, sample, give me such pocket money. See you dig a hole and send the beggar away! As a result, my mother persuaded me for a long time before she spared my life.

Dreaming that I can be a teacher

Me: (whispering in class) I have always dreamed that I can be a teacher. See how good the teacher is, with good welfare, high salary and stability. The most important thing is that I can assign homework without doing my homework, and I can change the test paper without taking the exam. I can finally get back at my students. Who let my former teacher be so cruel to me?

Classmate: How could you? Teachers are not all for your own good. How can you retaliate against society and students for your own selfish desires? How can you think that?

Me: (suddenly feeling that my classmate is taller) What do you want?

Classmate: Be the principal.

4. Happiness comes too suddenly

Going to the canteen to queue up to buy food at the beginning of school is very crowded. A girl in the back always touches my back intentionally or unintentionally, which makes me even more embarrassed ... I didn't expect happiness to come so suddenly. "Would you like to be my boyfriend?" A buddy in front turned around and whispered to me.

5. The reasons for Xiao Ming's decline in grades.

The teacher called Xiaoming's parents to the office. Xiaoming's grades dropped because he fell in love with Xiaohong. His father suddenly slapped him: Tell Xiaohong, what about Xiaoli?

6. Good roommate

When I was in college, I changed my roommate's cell phone contact information, changed my number to the name of his goddess, and sent a text message under the bed to tease him for half a night. Let him call him in the middle of the night to chat. The goods put on their coats and make phone calls in the corridor in winter. . . The three of us laughed and peed. Can you imagine the three of us being chased around the house by him with a clothesline in the middle of the night?

7. Do you want a CD?

On the way home, a stall owner mysteriously said to me, "Dude, do you want a disc?" I squinted and asked, "What is it?" He smiled contemptuously: "There are only two people starring in the big star, one is round and smooth, the other is obscene and obscene, with first-class ventriloquism and full tacit understanding. The climax is coming, make sure your whole body twitches uncontrollably! ! "My eyes lit up:" There is such a magical film, buy it! " When I got home, Nima was actually a cross talk between Degang Guo and Yu Qian, which really made me twitch!

8. What should I care about when I meet a pervert?

There is nothing to discuss in the office. Is a woman afraid of meeting a pervert when she walks at night?

A female man said: See if he is handsome. It would be better if he were handsome.

Xiao Li, sitting in the corner, said, it's getting dark, so you should care about whether he is big or not!

The audience is amazed!

9. Happy Men's Day March 8th.

I wish all men a happy March 8th: 1. Although you are not a woman, you belong to women's articles. Although you are not a mother, many women have become mothers. Although you are not a woman, most girls have become women and are very happy. 4. As the foundation of women in the country, you have worked hard!

10, teachers and principals

We had a crush on our English teacher in junior high school.

I have written so many love letters that I dare not give them to her.

Later, I couldn't help it. I ran downstairs to her dormitory at night and threw a brick that said I love you in.

I hope she can see and understand my heart.

The next day, the headmaster held a school safety meeting with gauze wrapped around his head.