Humorous life evaluation, laughing with good taste.

1, shit stinks, where is the taste of life? It's very sad to see those people who crowded the subway to work early in the morning. Why can't I have a job like theirs?

I heard that everyone is willing to make friends with people who are dumber than themselves, so the problem comes. Who is more stupid than two good friends?

4. Watching the national football game is like secretly loving someone who doesn't love you. Ta gives you a good look, and you think there is a game.

We work so hard to make the boss's life better.

6. Nothing can't be solved by taking time off. If there is, it is left.

7. Many people are doing four painful operations every day: working overtime, losing weight, taking the bus, and there are people besides themselves.

8. When people reach middle age, it seems that there is only a layer of glass between the world and you. It's not easy to bump into, but you can see through.

9. When watching anti-Japanese dramas, I always feel that it was not the Japanese who invaded China, but the China people who kept them at home for 14 years.

10, because people don't want to walk on uneven ground, they invented shoes. Later, human beings invented massage insoles. . .

1 1, life is a process of constantly discovering problems, analyzing problems, and finally suddenly giving up solving problems.

Interesting couple, couple, two or three things, this is the only way to taste.

1, folding the quilt in the morning, my husband wanted to be lazy, so he pointed to my stomach and asked, Bao Xiao, guess who is folding the quilt today?

Then the husband speaks like a child: I fold, I fold.

Then he said to me: Wife, you see, Bao Xiao said that he folded it, and you folded it first.

I told him with a black line on my face: I said you heard wrong, Bao Xiao said my dad, my dad!

I have known my wife for many years and have never bought flowers. On Valentine's Day, I thought I would send her flowers smartly. I thought she would be moved, sobbing and ecstatic.

Unexpectedly, the goods froze for a while, and then made a shy gesture: I'm sorry, I have it all, and I still have to spend so much money on my eldest brother.

One night, when I was eating noodles in the noodle restaurant, the power was cut off.

Me: Are you scared?

My wife nodded and said yes, so I said very manly, don't be afraid, I'm here.

My wife held her noodle bowl tightly and said, because you are here, I am afraid. I'm afraid you'll steal the noodles from my bowl when I can't see.

I am in a good mood today, chatting with my husband at home. Me: you are responsible for making money to support your family, and I am responsible for being beautiful.

Husband expressed surprise: I can earn money to support my family, can you be beautiful?

Me: Not yet.

Husband: How many years? Should Cycas bloom?

Humorous laughter of family life

1, a big brother rushed over and asked me: Master! Do you know where there is a toilet?

I showed him and said, go ahead, turn left at that intersection and walk for about 300 meters!

That big brother looked at me disappointedly: so far, this far can't hydrolyze near thirst!

Shit, big brother, are you in a hurry or thirsty!

2. The son took the college entrance examination, and the father cared about his son: How did the exam go?

Son wry smile: I didn't do well in the exam.

Dad: Nothing. If you do not do well in the exam, you can repeat it. Besides, going to college is not the only way out.

Son: Thank you, Dad.

Dad: It's just that your mother will talk about you, so you have to bear it.

Son: well, I've already practiced this kind of breath-holding kung fu. The old class criticized me for an hour and I didn't say a word!

3. Woman: Honey, we are going to get married in a classical way. Will you hire a sedan chair to pick me up?

Man: You. . . Where do you want me to find you such a strong sedan chair?

4. Dad: Why can't you even do such simple arithmetic?

Daughter: Because I am stupid!

Dad: Why don't you clean your room?

Daughter: Because I am lazy!

Dad: You are stupid and lazy. What will you do in the future?

Daughter: Just find an obedient husband, just like mom!

Dad: Yes. . .

5. When the man said to brush casually, Gao Fushuai was in the hotel and short and poor in the kitchen;

When the man said just buy it, Gao Fushuai was poor in a big shopping mall and a dollar store.

6. A: It's nice to have money, unlike the poor who quarrel every day. If you buy one or two more pork, your husband will scold you for wasting money, and if you buy one more dress, your husband will scold you for losing your home.

B: Well, every family has its own problems. Rich people quarrel every day. If you don't eat abalone and shark's fin occasionally, your husband will scold you for being stingy. If you buy 30 million necklaces instead of 40 million necklaces, your husband will scold you [email? Protected]

In fact, our life is like a game.

Running Warcraft for leading cadres

Lost in the forest, Silent Hill

National Joint Exercise League of Legends

Beaten half to death by parents

Memories of cheating in the exam, heartbeat.

Smuggle things across the line of fire.

As a girl with big breasts, I know the troubles of big breasts. First, I can't buy clothes that fit me. If the sleeves are the right length, I just can't button them.

There is also that exercise is very hard and ups and downs are very uncomfortable.

And it's not convenient to use the computer. Once I couldn't type, thinking that the keyboard was broken. I changed it and still couldn't type. Finally, I found my chest pressed against the keyboard.

What's more, if I don't work well, they will say that I have a big chest and no brain, and I will be promoted quickly. They will also say that I borrowed my chest to get promoted. . .

Hey, the pain of big breasts is really beyond your flat-chested sisters!

9. Two women are chatting

A woman: Hey! Now, the depreciation of academic qualifications is getting worse and worse!

Woman B: Yes, in the past, all college students could do was undergraduate!

Woman: I don't mean work, I mean women!

Woman B: What does education have to do with women?

Daughter A: My high school classmate Xiaoli dropped out of high school. Introduced at home, I asked for a bride price of 654.38 million. My college classmate Qiqi, who graduated with a bachelor's degree, won't get married until she gets a bride price of 50 thousand. My graduate student Hui Hui, a boyfriend I met during my graduate school, got married without asking for a penny after graduation. Speaking of me, I will graduate with a doctorate soon, and now my father will pay 65,438+10,000 yuan before someone will marry me!

10, women are stealing shots.

Just like the enemy before marriage, be careful everywhere, be careful everywhere.

Getting married for a year is like watching TV. An occasional look can relieve boredom.

Being married for three years is like smoking a pipe. If you don't eat, you will feel uncomfortable all over!

Men are interested in snapping pictures.

Just like Zhang Fei before marriage, he was extremely brave and full of fighting capacity.

Married for a year, just like Liu Bei, some fighting power, but some soft eggs.

Married for three years, just like Liu Chan, the surface is shiny, but no matter how you help, you can't get up!

1 1. Yesterday, on my wife's birthday, I bought a silk scarf and waited for her to come back from work to eat cake with my son.

Son: Dad, I think it's too light to buy silk scarves. Mom will be unhappy!

Me: I met your mother at the age of 22, and now I'm 44. At present, I spend half my life with her. In my opinion, she will like it!

Son: I 16 years old. At present, I have spent my whole life with this woman. In my opinion, she doesn't like scarves!

Me: OK, I'll buy another gold chain!

12, after the British Prime Minister retired, he began a national lecture tour, earning hundreds of thousands of pounds each.

After retirement, the president of the United States wrote books at home, exposing all kinds of insiders when he was in power, and made a lot of money by writing manuscripts.

After the North Korean leader retired, he became a comedian. He doesn't need to perform. As long as he stands on the stage, the audience is already laughing.

13, Shopping, Wife: Honey, I found someone challenging me. What should you do?

My husband immediately rolled up his sleeves: Who, who the fuck dares to mess with my wife? Lao tze must take it down!

The wife pointed to the dress in the window of the roadside shopping mall: this one!

Husband: Lying in the trough.

A wife's slap is a slap: what's wrong with men and men, and what do you want to say? Go get it!

Husband reluctantly took off his clothes: wife, you wear famous brands, use famous brands. How can you live like this?

Wife: I also use inferior products?

Husband: You can use inferior products, I don't believe it!

Wife: haven't I used this product with no money, no looks and no talent for more than ten years?

Husband: Nima

14, wife: It's almost June 1st, please give me a gift!

Me: Stop it, you are not a child.

Wife: But I have one in my belly!

Me. . .

15, my wife said excitedly: I lost my gold necklace and got it back.

Husband asked: Where did you find it?

The wife said: Lao Wang's car must be too strong to fall off.

The husband looked puzzled: did the car go or stop at the top? !

Wife. . .

16, the teacher asked Xiaoming to do something and register who didn't do his homework.

Xiaoming is very serious and registers every time. But then the teacher happened to find that Daming's homework was not handed in, but Xiaoming didn't register.

The teacher thought Xiao Ming missed it, so he didn't say anything. But then Daming stopped handing in his homework and Xiaoming stopped registering.

The teacher found Xiaoming: Daming didn't hand in his homework. Why didn't you register?

Xiao Ming: He told me not to register. He will buy me popsicles. He also said that he helped him with the popsicle, not the teacher.

Teacher: Both of you go out.

It is very philosophical to say that others must comment on the 2020 classic.

When you feel inferior to others everywhere, don't feel inferior, remember that you are just an ordinary person. Don't be sad when others ignore you. Everyone has his own life, and no one can always accompany you. When you see others laughing, don't think that you are the only one who is sad in the world. In fact, others just hide better than you. You can cry when you are helpless, but you must cheer up after crying. Don't lose your smile even if you lose everything.

God is fair, what you give is what you get. What we may harvest is not what we originally imagined, and the harvest time may not be what we originally hoped, but there will be gains. We pay the sweat and get the reward; Pay time and gain knowledge; Give your heart and get love; Pay the price and gain experience; Work hard and grow. Life is not an equivalent exchange, so don't haggle over everything.

Only when you taste the pain, can you cherish the happiness that you ignore; Only when you know how to appreciate the ordinary can you collect the happiness that was discarded at the beginning. Without pain, the feast of life will be dull; Without the ordinary, the picture of life is shallow. It's no use complaining. No matter whether you laugh or cry, no one will listen to you. Fantasy is useless, whether you go or stop, we have to face the bloody cruelty in reality.

We must admit that many of our prejudices and paranoia have become our own life puzzles and obstacles, and even the high eyebrows and low eyes of others have become the standard for us to observe the world. In our own narrowness, we have lost a lot of fairness and objectivity, and even other people's burps and farts have become the reason for our ridicule. What needs to be sober is that our own simplicity and truth are the real cultivation of life.

When a flower fades, we won't cry. We already know that it is impermanent. If we practice to realize the impermanence of nature, we can suffer less and enjoy more life. Only when you know that things are impermanent will you cherish the present. We know that the people we love are impermanent, so we should try our best to make them happy now.

Life is like the weather, predictable, but often unexpected; Disappointment and hope torment people, but hope torments people for longer; The mood can be peaceful, but not lifeless; Life is too short. If you don't give up today, tomorrow may not come. The premise of a person's luck is that he has the ability to change himself; Think of others, but live for yourself.

Life must be good, and practice is a little effort. Slow down, you can avoid regret. Self-restraint is reflected in slowness, words and deeds, endless future, slow down and stroll through life; Retreat to stay away from disaster. Learn to give in and take advantage; Increase one share and decrease one share; Giving up can raise happiness. Everything is taboo, things in America are taboo, and people are taboo; Silence can prolong life. Make friends with weak words, stop slander with deaf words, blame yourself with lettering, and defend with weak words.

What makes people suffer and worry is often not the situation or difficulties they face, but the gains and losses they want and are afraid of losing; True freedom does not mean that a person can have whatever he wants, but that he can't do anything if he doesn't want to. The world is what we see. Once we change our point of view, the world will change.

The meditation method of calming the boiling thoughts and then freely staying in a calm state is called stopping; View is the process of understanding the essence or essence of the mind. Whether it is meditation or observation, it is very important to know how to be centered, relaxed, open and unpretentious. In fact, we can't fix ourselves in a mindless state. The result of meditation is not mindlessness, but no longer being disturbed by thoughts.

Hot water will burn you, and ice water will freeze you. Isn't it strange to be electrocuted when touching hot water and ice water? That's their essence. Life is the same, the essence is bittersweet, when you experience it, feel it, there is nothing to be surprised about.

The scenery we often see is that a person is always looking up and admiring the happiness of others, but when looking back, he finds himself being looked up and envied by others. In fact, everyone is happy. However, your happiness is often seen by others.

There is right and wrong every day, not listening to nature; Fools seek the environment without seeking the heart, while wise men seek the heart without seeking the environment; In a noisy place, you must be calm; In a cold place, you must be enthusiastic; People are ordinary because they can't surpass themselves; If there is no right or wrong, it is a good time on earth; Don't be aggressive, don't be lethal, don't brag about your abilities, don't preach the evil of others, and naturally turn enemies into friends; Satisfaction with things is always satisfactory, and people are rigid without desire.

Disciple asked the Zen master, Master, how can I control my emotions and not get angry when something happens? The Zen master said: if you are sure of cause and effect, you will not be confused. All grievances are caused by causality. If you are not confused, you will not be angry. Being angry is like drinking poison and expecting others to suffer.

If you encounter irregularities in your work and life, you should observe them calmly. How lucky it would be if things could be remedied. You shouldn't be angry and upset at all, just try to remedy it. If things are really irreversible, don't be angry and sad, because anger and worry can't change what has happened, but will only hurt yourself and others' hearts more. Bodhisattva Yoshida said: If things can still be saved, why is the cloud not prosperous? What's the use of worrying if things are no longer good?

Peace of mind is not as good as peace of mind; It is better to be broad-minded than broad-minded. Cultivate the body of nature by the way of nature; Cultivate the god of joy with joy. Fear is the most basic principle of conscience. The so-called happiness is not 1 more, but less desire. Being a man, character comes first, but can be second; Doing things, understanding first, diligence second. Life should learn not to complain, not to wait and not to follow blindly.

Give and you will get; Only if you are willing to tolerate can you be happy; Only when you are willing to be together can you have love; If you are willing to let go, you will be free and easy; Only if you are willing to smile, can you have harmony; If you are willing to give up material things, your spirit can be enriched; If you are willing to be dissolute, you can be healthy; If you are willing to care, your friends will gather; If you are willing to persist, life will be easy. Life in this world, success or failure, is between choices, there are some to give up, and there is no one to give up.

Nothing is eternal, and don't ask how to be eternal. There is a lot of helplessness in life. Please try to enrich yourself and your life. In the past today, no one knows what will happen tomorrow. What you have to do now is to be kind to this minute, this hour and this day.

Every choice must be a transcendence, otherwise don't choose; Every time you give up, you must be a sublimation, otherwise don't give up. The greatest pleasure of being a man is to realize your ideals through struggle, so choosing to give up means being more perfect, and having shortcomings means working harder. Giving up is a kind of wisdom, and defect is a kind of grace. Because with new goals to struggle, life will be more exciting and life will be more fulfilling.

Help others when you are happy; Be content when you live a normal life; Learn to enjoy life in adversity. Don't punish yourself with other people's mistakes, because it is not worth it; Don't punish others with your own mistakes, because when you hurt others, you will be hurt again; Don't punish yourself with your mistakes. It doesn't matter if you make a mistake, just look for the reason carefully, learn a lesson and correct it!

People will always encounter setbacks, there will be low tides, and there will be times when they are not understood. This is precisely the most critical time in life. At such a moment, we need to wait patiently and confidently, believing that life will not abandon you and fate will not abandon you. I can't stand loneliness and can't see prosperity.

Yesterday is very important, it established our memory; Tomorrow is very important. It gives us a vision and a dream. But the most important thing is today, which is all we have to do today. Life is short, tell yourself: live every day with a positive attitude; Learn to heal the mind, don't hide in the shadow of yesterday; Do what you have to do and you will come tomorrow.

We can continue the success or failure of others, but we can't copy their perseverance before success or their mental journey after failure. Some things, from the result, we lost, but from the process, we won. Losing an opportunity, a mistake, and missing a game are all our 1 unparalleled wealth.

Life is a rainbow; Life is an art; Life is a choice; Life is a test; Life is an opportunity; Life is a school; Life is a goal; Life is a kind of wealth.