Little jokes and screen names

A boyfriend and a girlfriend go to a party together. When she came back, her boyfriend was drunk. The girlfriend asked her boyfriend to sleep at her house, and the neighbors heard her.

"Don't! 」

"Whoops, you bully people! 」

"Dear, don't go! 」

Sound.

The next day, my boyfriend woke up and saw his girlfriend crying. She was very sad and asked her what was wrong in a panic.

Girlfriend said. "Whoops, you last night ... you last night.

Last night you shouted, "Come on, Bikacsi!" Then I threw my little hamster sweetheart out of the window ... "

Boyfriend: ...

Bears and rabbits shit in the forest. The bear asked the rabbit, "Does it matter if the hair is on the stool?"

The rabbit replied "Never mind".

So the bear wiped his ass with a rabbit.

Zhou Yu: I am unwilling, I am so unwilling! I, Zhou Gongjin, am born beautiful and ice-smart, but why am I always a little worse than Kongming?

Yan: This is fate.

Zhou Yu: I am not reconciled. Can you give me a chance for revenge?

Yan: Yes! But you will lose your wisdom because of this.

Zhou Yu: (looking puzzled) How did this happen? I am stupid, but I can beat Kong Ming?

Yan: This is fate. Do you want revenge or not?

Zhou Yu: (gritting his teeth) OK!

Zhou Yu was taken away by the reincarnation car, and a fat doll named Adou was about to be born.

(Liu Bei sleeps in the palace and Mrs. Mi is born. )

Doctor too much: Take a deep breath and use some force below! Come on! ! !

Mrs. Mi: Oh ~ ~ Oh ~ ~ Oh ~ ~ Oh ~ ~ Oh ~ ~ Oh ~ ~ Oh ~ ~ Shette! Come out! ! ! ! ! ! Yeah! !

Cure too much: The big strip ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ finally came out? Should I go back to bed and continue to have children after that?

Liu Bei: Hey, it seems unlucky to have a baby and catch up with shit! My wife is such a loser. ...

Mrs. Meade: Shit, your wife is a loser! !

Cure too much: Everybody be quiet. I have already touched the small backup!

Liu Bei: It's coming soon?

Doctor too much: Bingo! One, two, three, I pull ~ ~!

Mrs. Meade: Shit, you pulled it wrong. You should roll up my intestines and put them back quickly, okay?

Too many doctors: I'm sorry!

(slightly hectares)

Cure too much: Sorry, I will definitely win this time! One, two, three, I pulled it out! ! !

Liu Bei:% @ # $! % Bring the baby here for dad to see!

Cure too much: Here you are! (Pick up the child and let Liu Bei look at it carefully)

Liu Bei: Wow ~ ~ ~ A monster! ! ! Red face and black body, with a feather fan in his hand! ! !

Cure too much: I feel strange, too. Please forgive me for not saying anything.

Liu Bei: You might as well say it directly.

Doctor too much: Mrs. Mi gave birth to a baby only seven months after she was pregnant. I think there must be an affair!

Mrs. rice: I am wronged!

Guan Yu: It's really none of my business!

Zhang Fei: Yes, it's really not me, my second brother and Kong Ming!

Kong Ming: (kneeling on the ground) Amen, come and see Jesus with us! Congratulations, master! ! !

Liu Bei: If the military adviser hadn't reminded me, I almost believed my courtiers just now and killed Zhongliang by mistake! Doctor, why don't you get out of the way?

Cure too much: You are cruel. ...

Mrs. Meade: Look! The baby seems to be talking!

Baby boy: baa ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Liu Bei: My God! Call mom when you are born!

Guan Hezhang: prodigy! It is simply the reincarnation of Zhou Yu!

Liu Bei: Military adviser, what's the name of such a clever child?

Kong Ming: Just call it Liu Chan! Name it with a disyllabic word and leave it to future generations to argue!

Liu Bei: OK, let's call it Liu Chan! What about the nickname?

Wang Xiaoming: Here it is! What do you want me to do？

Liu Bei: Shit, I didn't let you show up. There is no walk-on for you in this episode! What I want to say is: What is Liu Chan's nickname? You can express your views freely!

Zhang Fei: Tom! Give people a feeling of being alive and kicking!

Guan Yu: A dog? Okay？ Not good? thank you

Kong Ming: Fight! Hit, hit, hit, hit-yeah!

Sun Gan: A Niu? Give me the same name as Xiang Shaolong, which will attract mm in the future!

Mrs. Mi: A-choo! Shit, I just had a baby. Do I have a cold? The parts below the toes are numb with cold. ...

Liu Bei: I think I'll use Xiaoming's name. This is a well-known human name. ...

Kong Ming: Yes!

(In a blink of an eye, winter has gone and spring has come, and Liu Chan is one year old again. )

Liu Bei: Dou's first birthday is today. According to the tradition of our rural hometown, let Adou "catch the week" today, ok?

Zhang Fei: Zhou Zhou? Sounds like the name of the conductor?

Guan Yu: You are mentally retarded, not grasping Zhou!

Zhang Fei: Grasp Zhou? Have you ever heard of it?

Guan Yu: No.

Zhang Fei: Shit! Brother, what do you mean by "grasping the week"?

Liu Bei: On the day when the child just turned one year old, put some travel notes, foot-scraping axes, silver coins and peaches in front of him to see what he will catch. ...

Guan Yu: Oh? Then what do you mean by arresting them?

Liu Bei: If he catches money, it means that he likes money better. If he catches a book, it means that he likes books better in the future.

Guan Hezhang: Shit, shake me?

Liu Bei: You caught an axe, which means he likes it better in the future. If you catch a peach-

Zhang Fei: That means he likes peaches better! The silver of the earth holds the road.

Liu Bei: Pig head, catching peaches means he lives long! How dare you say that you are still pinched by the earth? I want to fight!

Guan Yu: ... then why don't we release everything now and let Dou catch it!

(After a while, the week of grasping began.)

Liu Bei: Baby, hurry up! Catch whoever you want! See if you are a turtle ear cover or how hot you will be in the future. Is it more blessed or more fatal?

Guan Hezhang: Yes! Go find your favorite prey!

Bean: Goo, beep, goo! ! ! (I caught it! )

Liu Bei: Shit, don't rob my little Didi! Let me go. He is still insisting. ...

Li, Leng, Yin, Liu Lange, Qin Shuizhi, Li Nianer, Wen, Liu, Gu, Ren, Jin Mozhen, Ding Linglong, Ling Huashuang, Shui Sheng, Jing kurotsuchi nemu, Rong Qiyan, Lin Mozhong, Hua Shi, Qian Mai, Jian Wu, Lan Ling and Luo Li.

, Zhang Xinyi, Li, etc.