"Let's Time Travel" Shen Teng's humor. Where are Shen Teng's funny sketches?

In addition to the Spring Festival Gala sketches for 6 consecutive years, the happy comedian has his 12 sketches. The most famous sketch is "Help or Not", which was a sketch program at the 2014 CCTV Spring Festival Gala. The performers are Shen Teng, Ma Li, and Du Xiaoyu. Shen Teng plays the role of "Hao Jian" in the sketch.

The complete version of the lines of "To Help or Not to Help"

Shen Teng: (entering the stage) Oops... ouch... ouch... (it hurts) You said I have the biggest shortcoming. Just too nosy. No, I just saw a car with its trunk open on the road, and I was chasing after it on my bike. I’m wondering if I can tell someone. As a result, they suddenly braked and I got into their trunk. As soon as I climbed out, a kind-hearted policeman came over and patted me on the shoulder and said, "You are fully responsible." I lost two hundred yuan to someone, do you think I was being nosy? I swear, if I want to meddle in other people's business in the future, my name will not be Hao Jian, I will call you very mean!

Ma Li: (entering the stage) Uh...ah...ah (shaking)...ah...ouch (falling down)

Shen Teng: (as if nothing happened) What? Didn't even look at it.

Ma Li: Oops...

Shen Teng: Oops...

Ma Li: Oops...

Shen Teng: Oops ...

Ma Li: Oh my god...

Shen Teng: (turns around) You win! Auntie, are you okay?

Ma Li: I’m seventy-nine, and it hit the ground with a bang. What do you think?

Shen Teng: Oh, let’s see if it’s broken? Does it hurt?

Ma Li: Oh, my elbow! Oh, my Bolengeer! Oops, there’s a knot in my waist! Heck, it doesn’t even hurt!

Shen Teng: (Speechless) Aunt, you’ve already mastered it, so don’t use the elimination method. Since it doesn't hurt, let's try to see if we can still walk.

Ma Li: Let me try.

Shen Teng: Hey, slow down! (Ma Li spins and walks 360 degrees) Oops! You can walk now, but you are walking according to a schedule!

Ma Li: Oops, why does my hip hurt suddenly?

Shen Teng: That’s for sure. It was sharpened when I turned it just now. It’s good that it didn’t catch fire. Come on, aunt, let me help you up!

Ma Li: Oh, young man, your face is bruised and purple, and you were hit hard by the fall.

Shen Teng: I’m fine.

Ma Li: You are a good child, and you also know how to help your aunt up.

Shen Teng: I am addicted to doing good things.

Ma Li: It’s up to someone else. I’ll run away after the collision! (Shen Teng was speechless and put Ma Li back on the ground)

Shen Teng: Auntie, you fell into a daze. (Huh?) And it happened so suddenly. You fell down on your own. Ah, when you fell, I was still 10 meters away from you. Look, that's my bike, the proof is solid.

Ma Li: Oops, the rims are all messed up like that. It took me a long time to do it. I flew here from there. Can I still save it? Oops...

Shen Teng: Oops, this is really like an accident scene, but it’s not what you think. My car was rear-ended.

Ma Li: Oh my tail vertebrae!

Shen Teng: I’m talking about the rear-end collision, not the backbone. I’m talking about the bumper, and you’re talking about the base of the tail.

Ma Li: It’s over. It’s Chinese New Year, and the root of the tail was smashed. Okay. May the broken piece (Sui Sui) be safe!

Shen Teng: Auntie, please think about it carefully. No one really hit you.

Ma Li: No one hit me and I flew more than 10 meters. If you hit me, I will go abroad now.

Shen Teng: No, aunt, what is your status? How come you can go abroad without a visa? Besides, you didn’t fly 10 meters.

Ma Li: How many meters does it have to fly? At this time, does it make sense for you to compare yourself to the three-meter-two-meter Zhen'er?

Shen Teng: Okay, aunt, let’s not talk anymore. Let’s look at the pictures and let’s talk. Fortunately, cameras are installed in the streets and alleys now... (Seeing that the lens of the camera is gone) Where is the head? ? It’s over, I’ve lost my head. If I continue to struggle with this, I’ll lose my head. Even if I jump into the Yellow River, I won’t be able to get rid of it.

Ma Li: What, you still want to leave?

Shen Teng: I definitely won’t make the trip. I have to run.

Ma Li: Hey, you... (Shen Teng hurriedly pushed the cart to avoid it, Du Xiaoyu appeared)

Du Xiaoyu (passerby A): Wife, I will be home soon, don't worry... ...Wait a minute, I saw an old lady fell down on the road and no one came to help her. Why do you think the current social atmosphere is like this? Others don't care, I care! Auntie, don't move. (Photography) I will immediately post on Weibo to condemn this behavior and ask my parents to forward it and comment. Wife, please remember to give me likes and comments. Oops, this old lady fell down, she’s so miserable... (A passerby floats by in a carefree manner, Shen Teng’s back is bared with teeth and claws)

Shen Teng: It’s miserable, you don’t help me! (Shen Teng runs back and helps Ma Li up) Come, aunt, let’s sit up first. Auntie, I will send you to the hospital right away, but I beg you, please help me prove it. Just say that I am an innocent passerby, okay?

Ma Li: OK.

Shen Teng: That’s right. (Picks up the phone and takes a selfie) Ahem...I am the good man Hao Jian. Just now, I was walking recklessly in front of me with my bicycle. For some reason, an old lady suddenly appeared behind me. I put aside all my worries. , stepped forward to help her without hesitation. It's your turn, tuck your chin and look slimmer.

Ma Li: I am an innocent passerby. I was knocked down by you innocently. After that, you still have to run, (satisfied) Hehehe...hehehe...oh...

Shen Teng: Aunt, do your family members know that you are so naughty?

Ma Li: Hehehe, do this with me, hehehehehe.

Shen Teng: Okay, stop hehehe, you win. As for you, the authorities are confused now. I'll wait with you for a sensible person to comment on this for us. (Take off the coat) Come on, aunt, don't freeze. Put on the coat. It's warm. It's the same style as Andy Lau. Can you still feel the cold icy rain beating randomly?

Ma Li: My conscience has discovered it. (Du Xiaoyu (passerby B) appears on a bicycle)

Shen Teng: Hey, big brother.

Du Xiaoyu (Passenger B): What’s wrong, young man?

Shen Teng: There is an old lady here. (Du Xiaoyu rode aside and called Shen Teng)

Du Xiaoyu: (quietly) Hey! Did you hit it?

Shen Teng: Really not.

Du Xiaoyu: Run! I helped three of them.

Shen Teng: What’s the result?

Du Xiaoyu: Let me tell you this, before, I (sobbing) drove a Daben! (Passenger B left in tears, Shen Teng bowed and watched)

Shen Teng: Ma Li, let me briefly introduce the situation at home. Well, let's put it this way, thieves always leave with tears in their eyes when they come to my house. During the holidays, they have to throw two bags of rice to me. Do you understand what I mean? So let’s do this, we two, let’s share some short fables together (reposted from Fat Dan’s sketch Shen Teng/senteng/). The names of the stories are: Mr. Dong Guo and the Wolf, Lu Dongbin and the Dog, The Farmer and the Snake, Hao Jian and the old lady.

What are these stories about? Let me tell you about them from beginning to end. It is said that once upon a time, there was a gentleman named Dongguo. One day, he rode his donkey in Naga Daga. Daga Dagada rode with a big lump on his face, and when it was over, he met a wolf that was about to die. This wolf...

Ma Li: (angry) It was so boring! If I want to help you, I will help you. If I don’t want to help you, leave. Make room for the good people! I'll just pretend that you haven't hit me, okay, just go, go, go, run away!

Shen Teng: Why am I still on the run? If you keep talking like this, can we still play together in the future?

Ma Li: Are you leaving?

Shen Teng: I won’t leave!

Ma Li: Are you leaving?

Shen Teng: If I leave, I will become a fugitive

Ma Li: You won’t leave, right? OK, let me go! (Ma Li crawls forward)

Shen Teng: I said, aunt, you are going there to blow up the bunker. Why can't you explain it clearly? I'm like Mr. Dongguo now. After I rescued the wolf, the wolf will eat me later. Then you think that wolf...isn't it quite rude?

Ma Li: I just understand. You are just criticizing Huaihuai. I, an old lady, have been lying here for a long time. Do you think I am just lying around? Who is the snake, who is the dog, who is the wolf? Who are you calling so mean (Hao Jian), then you are so mean (Hao Jian)!

Shen Teng: My mother gave me the name Hao Jian, who wakes up early and stays late at night. How come it has become a dirty word for you?

Ma Li: You bumped into me. Even if you said you were sorry, you not only refused to apologize, but also bit me back. Let me tell you, if you do that today, don’t even think about leaving. (Ma Li stood up and walked toward the bicycle) This is the evidence. Even if I risk my life today, I will fight against this unhealthy social phenomenon to the end! (While talking, he moved Shen Teng’s bicycle)

Shen Teng: No, how did you move it?

Ma Li: Huh?

Shen Teng: No, aunt, you’re okay!

Ma Li: Me? I'm so angry with you.

Shen Teng: Yeah! If you can heal people with anger, then this is Qigong!

Ma Li: I have to find someone to give me a review today. Someone, someone... (Police appears)

Du Xiaoyu (Police): Aunt, what's going on? ah? (Shen Teng fell to the ground)

Ma Li: (dropped the car and held the police officer’s hands tightly) Savior! Just now, he... (Shen Teng twitches on the ground) Why are you still falling? He...

Du Xiaoyu: (observation) Auntie, you are riding too fast! (Huh?) The car rims are all in such a mess. Are you racing?

Ma Li: I...I...(incoherent)

Du Xiaoyu: Look, you hit someone...

Ma Li: He is not I hit it.

Du Xiaoyu: Auntie, the car is lying here, and the person is lying here. The accident scene is too clear.

Ma Li: That’s not my bicycle.

Shen Teng: You don’t pedal that fast on your wife’s bicycle. I’m delaying your takeoff!

Ma Li: He, I, just now...what the hell...

Du Xiaoyu: Mom, don't get excited, I'll handle it, come on, come on. Oh, comrade, this one isn't broken, is it? Does it hurt?

Shen Teng: Oh my elbows, oh my ridges, oh my waist and that.

Du Xiaoyu: Are they all broken?

Shen Teng: It doesn’t even hurt.

Du Xiaoyu: It’s now, so don’t use the elimination method. It's okay, let's see if we can take a walk?

Shen Teng: It should be possible to leave, but it must be done according to the schedule.

Ma Li: Why did you still go up according to the schedule?

Shen Teng: Yeah, the rims of the car are all messed up like that. It’s been a mess for a long time. I flew over there from there. Can I still save it? (Ma Li couldn't argue) Look at this, I can fly about 10 meters!

Ma Li: (hurriedly) Where did you fly 10 meters?

Shen Teng: Then I have flown a few meters, and now I have already flown. Does it make sense to compare myself with the three-meter-two-meter Zhen'er?

Ma Li: What he said are all my words! !

Shen Teng: Who owns this thing?

Du Xiaoyu: Hey, comrade, let me help you up first, come on... Hey, this... won't you rear-end that kid? (Shen Teng stood up)

Shen Teng: The traffic policeman who handled my accident! (hug)

Ma Li: It’s over, they still know each other!

Du Xiaoyu: Come on, come on, put your hands down. No, what's going on with you two?

Shen Teng: Uncle policeman, let me explain to you. I came out from your place carrying my car. I was walking in front, and my aunt suddenly fell to the ground. I kindly went over to help her. , the aunt was stunned. She had to think that I was the one who hit her. Just explain to her how my bicycle rims are made.

Du Xiaoyu: Oh, I understand. Auntie, the rim of his bicycle was like this due to a rear-end collision just now. I was the one who handled the accident.

Ma Li: Didn’t you hit me?

Du Xiaoyu: Auntie, don’t you still believe what the police said? , Besides, you are so old, and if he bumps into you like that, can you still stand here and talk?

Ma Li: Yes? So how did I fail?

Du Xiaoyu: Look, aunt, the driver just came back to apologize, saying that he didn’t think about it at the time, and asked me to return this money to this young man, saying Don't let the people who do good deeds feel cold, come and take it.

Shen Teng: Oh, it’s not cold anymore, it’s not cold anymore, it’s not cold anymore.

Du Xiaoyu: I’ll give you one hundred more to repair your car.

Shen Teng: Oh, not only is it not cold anymore, why is it that I suddenly feel a little heartburn?

Ma Li: I remember, I was twisting and twisting just now, and one step was missing, and I fell down after it was over.

Shen Teng: Finally the truth is revealed. Auntie, I’m sorry. Don’t be angry with me. I didn’t mean to make you angry just now. I really had no choice, so I played it back for you. ah.

Ma Li: My child, aunt misunderstood you so much. You didn’t even leave, but you still helped aunt. That’s great.

Shen Teng: Auntie, if we don’t help this person fall, won’t that person’s heart also fall? If people's hearts fall, we won't be able to lift them up even if we want to... Come on, aunt, let's go to the hospital. (Pay money)

Du Xiaoyu: Take my car.

Ma Li: No need! It doesn’t cost you money, Ma Li has medical insurance, you brat, you’re such a thief, you suddenly lay down on the ground, and you walked up according to the schedule, hahahahaha...

Shen Teng: I have a lot of evil intentions. , I didn’t even turn that way, (ah!) I thought I would spontaneously ignite if I turned at this speed.

Qi: Hahaha... (End)

Comments:

The sketch "To Help or Not to Help" starts with an old man who stumbles and falls. He likes to help others. In order to prove his innocence, the smart young man helped the old man clarify the facts through the replay of the incident. He used humor to interpret the bad atmosphere that blocked the social artery of morality. While making the audience laugh, he also gave a vivid moral lesson. , it can be said that education is everywhere and virtue must be promoted at all times.

Support or not? Help, even if you lose your material things, you still have to get your morals back. There is a scene in the sketch: A buddy on a bicycle said, "Brother, run quickly. I have helped three of them before. What's the result?" Let me tell you this, I used to drive a Daben. Good people will naturally feel chilled and worried after hearing this. When an old man falls, should he be helped or not? Help, this is a small thing to do to help others. Even if you do good deeds and get slapped down, you should continue to do good deeds.

As the good man Hao Jian said in the play: "If we don't help this person when he falls, won't this person's heart also fall? If the heart of the person falls, we can't help him up even if we want to." It's the old man who helps him up; It is also a virtue.

Support or not? Help, correcting the trend requires action. When condemning, it is better to extend your hands. There is a scene in the skit where a passerby who was talking on the phone said: "I saw an old lady fell down on the road and no one came to help her. Why do you think the current social atmosphere has become like this? Others don't care. I "Stop! Auntie, please don't move. I will send a message on Weibo later to condemn this behavior..." His voice was full of anger and his words were forceful, but the old man who fell was still not helped up. This kind of condemnation that treats the symptoms but not the root cause will not help the public morale. The simple act of stretching out your hands is an effective action to correct the atmosphere. I think more people are willing to see passers-by help them instead of condemning them. This approach is similar to the "spectators" described by Mr. Lu Xun. What's the difference?

Support or not? Help, good people will naturally be rewarded, and justice will prevail in people's hearts. In the skit, the policeman said: "The car owner just returned the money to this guy, saying that he shouldn't make people feel bad for doing good things. He also gave you an extra hundred to use to repair the car." There will always be people who understand the right and wrong. People come to protect people who do good deeds. Even if they are misunderstood for a while, the truth will always be revealed one day. Justice will be in people's hearts. When you reach out to help others and open a door of convenience for others, why not also It opened a window of convenience for myself.