In urgent need of super funny jokes

〖At a banquet〗

At a banquet, the wife noticed that her husband kept peeking at the gorgeous woman sitting next to him with envious eyes, so she quietly whispered beside him He said: "You should have a word with her, otherwise others will think she is your wife!"

〖Wife Training Method〗

Before the husband went to work, the wife said to him He said, "Can you please take my leather shoes to the leather shoe shop next to your work and have them repaired?"

The husband did not wrap them with anything, but just carried them with his hands and walked out. Whistling happily all the way on the bus. A man in the car looked at the pair of leather shoes for a long time, and then suddenly said: "Yes! If you don't want your wife to run around, this method is the most effective!"

〖After get off work〗

Mrs. John was still cleaning the room when her husband came back from get off work. Her clothes were dirty and old, her hair was messy, and her face was dusty. Her husband said: "I came home after a tired day and saw you. Is that so?"

Their neighbor, Mrs. Smith, happened to be present. When she heard Mr. John's words, she hurried home, washed herself carefully, and waited for her husband to come home.

It was already very late when Mr. Smith got home. He slowly opened the door and was startled when he saw his wife. Then he yelled angrily: "What are you going to do tonight?"

〖Precautionary Measures〗

Someone cut out a piece of news published in the newspaper.

The news story was about a man who got divorced because his wife often searched his pockets.

"Why did you edit this piece of news?" someone asked him.

"Put it in your pocket," he replied.

〖A clever response〗

After a colleague quarreled with his wife, he came to my house so angry that he held his eight-month-old son in his arms and complained: "Getting married means knowing that there is a tiger in the mountain." , Go to the tiger mountain'! "

Unexpectedly, the younger brother who was listening on the side said: "If you don't enter the tiger's den, you won't get the tiger's cubs!"

〖Started by money〗

The wife of a day laborer said: "Every day when I go home, I have to quarrel with my husband. Madam, how are you?"

Someone who lives by salary The wife said: "No! I come once a month."

〖True and fake〗

A couple was drying fish on the beach, and the wife saw a girl wearing a three-point swimsuit. Standing on the beach and posing.

"Hey, look!" she shouted to her husband, "She is exactly the same as the Monroe you admire."

But the husband ignored it and continued to work hard.

"What? Are you really not interested at all?" the wife asked in surprise.

"Of course," the husband said coldly, "If she were really like Monroe, you would never let me see her."

〖Brainless Father〗

A proud father praised his son for his intelligence. "You know, honey," he said to his wife, "I've passed on all my brains to our son."

"Of course," the wife replied dryly, "So, now Only my children and I have brains."

Computer Introduction

Ms. Lu: "I want to find someone who is older than me, taller than me, and has better education than me. A little bit more, a little more income than me, a little more handsome than me, a bigger house, a little less old man and a boyfriend."

The computer of the marriage agency immediately typed the following. Text: "Miss Lu, you have a lot of talk. You should find a man named Nie (Nie) to match you so that he has enough ears to listen to your chatter."

The most classic joke of 2008

〖Reason〗

Wife: "You used to give me a bouquet of roses every day, but now you don't even give me one."

Husband: "Let me ask you, after a fisherman catches a fish, should he continue to feed it bait?"

〖There are also disadvantages〗

Two friends Tell each other about the latest situation.

A said: "In order to make my wife happy, I no longer smoke, drink or gamble."

B said: "Then she must be very happy?"

A said: "No. Now when she wants to criticize me, she can't find a reason."

〖Mother of the King of Hell〗

There is a man , when his wife was dying, he asked her sadly: "Wife! After you die, you will make me a bachelor. Now before you die, I want to ask you one thing: after you die, Who should I ask to be my second wife? Do you have this woman in your heart?" After hearing this, his wife struggled with her whole body and cursed angrily: "You're a heartless man, and you want to remarry me before I've even given up. For an ungrateful man like you, which woman is willing to marry you? Your second wife must be the mother of the King of Hell."

After hearing this, the husband shook his head and said, "That's not possible! Don't make another mistake. I have already married the daughter of the King of Hell before me. Do I still want to marry the mother of the King of Hell later?"

〖False worries〗

My wife is seriously ill, and the doctor declares that there is no way to save her. The wife said to her husband: "I hope you can swear now."

"What oath."

"If you remarry, you are not allowed to give my clothes to your new wife." Wife wears it."

The husband suddenly realized: "I can swear to you, you don't have to worry about it, because I don't want to find a fat wife like you anymore."