Why try to get your mother to take care of the children? Give you three reasons. It is not too late to make a choice after reading it.

On National Day, I took my 2-year-old child back to my mother-in-law's hometown. Because I only go back a few times a year, the child is shy to strangers two days before each visit and likes to stick to me and his father. As soon as the child was unfamiliar, her mother-in-law opened her mouth and said, "This is a child raised in the city. He was kept at home by his mother all day, and he didn't come out to see the world. He was very shy with strangers. " Say that finish, he looked contemptuous.

After two days of familiarity, the child started the crazy play mode, and in one morning, he was sweating and dirty. As a mother with "my phobia", when the child is too dirty to stand still, she will wipe the sweat and put on new clothes. When the mother-in-law saw it, she said, "The child is dirty. Don't always change clothes. The clothes won't last long."

When the meal arrived, I prepared the meal for the child and let him eat it himself. Halfway through, some food came out. I don't care whether the children eat or not. It's time for the children to eat as much as they want. If it is dirty, wash it.

My mother-in-law didn't like it. She quickly picked up the child's bowl and fed it. While feeding, she said, "Where children eat by themselves, they are scattered everywhere. Mom doesn't feed you, but grandma feeds you."

When it comes to chat time, my mother-in-law will say intentionally or unintentionally: "Some daughter-in-law in the village gave birth to a child, so she went outside to earn money, and some daughter-in-law bought more expensive things for her mother-in-law." Although he didn't tell me by name, the implication was "I am a full-time mother who resigned."

Every time I go back to my mother-in-law's house, my mother-in-law always says such things. At first, she will feel angry and dissatisfied and will quarrel about it. Later, she will be too lazy to respond. Not only is her mother-in-law, but every time she goes back to her mother's house, she will inevitably preach that "all young men who take care of their children at home now go out to earn money."

However, even though my mother-in-law ran for n times and was scolded by my own mother, I still feel that the most correct choice I have made is to take care of my children by myself. I have been taking care of my child for more than two years, and I have witnessed his growth step by step, from dependence to independence, from initial stupidity to fighting wits and playing psychological tactics with me now. Although I get angry sometimes, I never regret my original decision.

In fact, the reason why I chose to bring my own children was caused by my childhood experience. I was raised by my grandparents. Although my grandparents are very kind to me, this kind of emotion is irreplaceable by my parents. When I grow up, I feel insecure, even a little introverted, inferior and lacking in love. My responsibility to my parents is greater than my feelings, and I have no confidence in the difficulties of life.

You have a lifetime to earn money, but only those years really accompany your children to grow up.

There is a saying that may be more heartfelt: children go to kindergarten and primary school, and it is a day to go out; Went to junior high school and went out for a week; When I was in college, I went out for half a year; You may go out for a year after work. Children are also drifting away in the process of growing up, and making money is something parents can do at any time.

As a parent, you can feel that your child depends on you wholeheartedly, and you can accompany him wholeheartedly, that is, in the years after birth. Don't think that you can't stay with your children until you earn enough money. In fact, you are waiting for the children to grow up. If you want to be with him, he doesn't necessarily need your company.

Raising children by themselves is the basis for children to obey in the future.

Professor Li Meijin once said: As a parent, if you want to control your child (that is, what you say to your child is reasonable and the child can listen), then as a parent, you must cultivate yourself from the earliest stage of your life, otherwise you will lose your child's psychological "control ability".

Why is it so important for children aged 0-3 to raise themselves? Because at this age, it is the foundation for children to establish a sense of security, existence, trust, happiness and personality. At this stage, children have no parents to take care of themselves, and this attachment relationship is difficult to establish and it will be difficult to make up in the future. After all, missing is missing.

Raising children by ourselves is to let children grow up in our expectation, not to be the next "us"

I have seen such a joke on the Internet: "A novice father resolutely refused the request of the old father and mother to take care of their grandchildren. The reason is very simple. I don't want to train my son into a brother. "

Many old people's concept of taking care of their children is relatively feudal and backward, and they are still using the old one. They think that children are well-fed and take care of them, and it is easy to ignore the cultivation of psychology and character. However, young people will take care of their children from the social environment. It's simple. Let's talk about food Old people like feeding and are willing to chase after it. Young people will choose to let their children eat by themselves.

The purpose of raising children by ourselves is to let them grow up in our expectation, not to be the next "us". After all, as an experienced person, I hope that the child is "shine on you is better than blue", not "painting a gourd ladle".

In fact, most mothers want to take care of their children, and it does not rule out that some working mothers prefer to work. Taking care of the baby in person is not just a matter of saying yes, because there are many factors to consider: family opinions, one's own physical condition and family economic situation. Then, as an experienced person, if you plan to take care of your baby by yourself, you'd better make relevant preparations in advance.

First: let the child be born "prepared"

Don't do anything unprepared. If you have planned to take care of your baby before giving birth, you need to make some preparations in advance:

Second: learn parenting knowledge in advance.

As a novice mother, taking care of the baby personally often encounters some "puzzling and worrying problems", and there will be inexperienced people to guide and help when the problems arise. In order to avoid the anxiety of raising children, it is best to learn more parenting knowledge (feeding, nursing, etc.). ) in advance, so that you will be more familiar with parenting and avoid anxiety.

Third: strengthen social skills.

Taking care of the baby in person is the most likely to make people depressed, especially when they meet anxious in-laws and idle husbands. In order to avoid negative emotions, Ma Bao needs to expand her social skills before giving birth or even during pregnancy, and get to know more pregnant mothers and Ma Bao, so that not only can someone consult after giving birth, but they can also talk to each other when they are in a bad mood, killing two birds with one stone.