Interesting sentences kill me.

Some funny sentences really make your stomach ache. Here, I brought you interesting sentences that made me laugh to death. I hope you will like them.

Funny, I'm laughing to death.

1, after studying for more than ten years, I think kindergarten is better!

2. When I am pursuing Happyness, I am afraid that I am not at home, so I am always at home.

I don't even want a basin for spilled water.

4. I am not RMB. How can I make everyone like me?

I love you all my life.

6. Don't always be hot and cold to me. In that case, I am afraid of catching a cold.

7. I am a passerby who you turn around and forget. Why should I spend time with you on earth?

8. If a man doesn't help you put on a wedding dress, you can give him a cassock.

9. Even if I scold you at ordinary times, I won't know that I am both civil and military until I hit you.

10, when I was alive, I was laughed at by others first, then smiled at others, and then died with a smile.

Humorous jokes seen by WeChat friends circle

1、

I went to dinner with my friends. After ordering, the waiter came over and asked, What is cold salad O?

The friend said: cold lotus root! Lotus root is too difficult to write, too difficult to write.

2、

Ugly girl: What's the use of being good-looking?

Pretty girl: You are beautiful. Don't turn off the lights at night!

Ugly girl: it's not normal not to turn off the lights!

Pretty girl: you see, if you are not beautiful, you have never experienced it!

Ugly girl: Damn it!

3、

Mom said: You see your house is like a pigsty, and you still don't clean it up.

I replied: Have you ever seen a pig tidy up the house? Not all the pigs have been cleaned up!

4、

My younger brother was very naughty, and one day, when disaster struck, he was beaten by his parents. ...

He shouted at the top of his lungs. You hit me together! ?

Mom said without thinking: we also gave birth to you in partnership. What's wrong with hitting you in partnership? Keep beating.

5、

At the lunch table, the seven-year-old son was disobedient.

During the argument, I stood up and said? I am your father, and you must listen to me! ?

The son stood up slowly and said, do you have any proof?

?

6、

My son doesn't want to go to kindergarten, and he acts like a spoiled brat.

Dad was anxious, threw his son to the teacher, took his wife's hand and turned away.

The son is also anxious, swearing: you dog men and women ...?

7、

Sister said on Weibo:? There are 20 times more bacteria on the screen of mobile phone than in the toilet! ?

Then a god replied:? I dare to lick the phone screen with my tongue. Dare you lick the toilet with your tongue?

8、

Policeman: Knock.

I asked: Who is it?

Policeman: We are policemen.

I asked: What do you want to do?

Policeman: We just want to talk to you.

I asked: How many people are there in your party?

Policeman: Two.

I said, then talk to each other.

9、

I asked my roommate, who are you offering incense to?

Roommate said:? Ex-girlfriend. ?

I asked:? Shit, I'm not dead. ?

Roommate:? When she left, she left me a message: consider me dead! ?

10、

Me:? Dad, you have to learn to pay by WeChat. ?

My dad:? Why study that? It's convenient for me to spend money like this. ?

Me:? So I can transfer the money to you, and you can spend it at will without applying to my mother. ?

My dad came running with a mobile phone and said, tell me, how do you use this?

A few inspirational jokes, short inspirational jokes

0 1

One day, in the park?

Woman: "Do you have three bedrooms and two halls?"

Man: "No!"

Woman: "Do you have a Land Rover or an Audi?"

Man: "No!"

Woman: "Do you have a seven-figure deposit?"

Man: "No!"

Woman: "What do you have?"

Man: "I"

The woman turned and left.

Suddenly the man said, "I'm in real estate."

Woman immediately back to embrace the man's waist, a full face of worship and said:

"You didn't say earlier, the economy is so poor, you haven't starved to death, you must be a potential stock, that's enough! Enough! "

? This is the most inspiring passage of 20 19!

02

"When my real estate makes a fortune, I will buy a house to marry you."

He said enthusiastically:

After listening to this, her heart was cold and cold!

She thought, this is probably the most tactful breakup.

? 20 19 best mini-novel nomination award

03

"When my real estate makes a fortune, I will divorce you."

He simply said

After listening, her heart was warm,

Nothing lasts longer, she thought.

A promise that the seas run dry and the rocks crumble.

? 20 19 best novel award

04

Tell a very inspirational thing! There used to be a male classmate who liked a female classmate. That male classmate is a little fat. In order to catch up with girls, he only eats one steamed bread every day and works out crazily. A thin holiday has become a different person. Later, he finally dared to confess to the girl. The girl said, I don't like you if you lose weight.

05