Laugh at any joke.

1. Once my classmate asked me which department my other classmate was in the hospital. I can't remember clearly. I thought it was like internal medicine and acupuncture. I said she was guilty.

2. A boy saw his uncle: "Buy him two dishes!" Uncle: "The child loves to brag so much that even no one dares to say it!" "

3. When I was at school, the Communist Youth League Secretary was particularly dumb. When I joined the League, only another girl (a horrible one) and I were the host of our League branch secretary. I said without hesitation: Today is the big day for two students, and the rest of them laughed -_-0 A semester later, this guy presided over another student's joining ceremony and said that XXX students were welcome to join our mysterious organization. ...

I have a shy male classmate who goes to the canteen to have breakfast. The man in the window asked him, "What do you want?" "He looked down and said," I want to ... I want to ... A steamed stuffed bun, a steamed stuffed bun. The guy stared at him for a long time and said, "What do you want?" Say it again? ""I want a steamed stuffed bun, a steamed stuffed bun ... oh no! A bun and a loaf of bread! "Dude fainted!

When I was in college, a classmate argued with me and was at a disadvantage for a while. In desperation, he got up and shouted: You talk nonsense, I'm not stupid!

6. A friend of mine went on a blind date. When he came back, everyone asked him how he was. The buddy said: This girl is really rough. At noon, they walked into a beef noodle restaurant. The girl said loudly to the master: Hey, pull two bowls for Lamian Noodles's master and say: Do you want to eat? I eat and pull. My buddy quickly said: 1 bowl, you can pull 1 bowl. It is said that everyone in the restaurant laughed at that time ~ ~

7. Once my sister introduced me to a piece of music, which she said was called "Girls' Underwear". I'm surprised. I took the CD and looked at it. This is a "girl's prayer" ...

8. The primary school teacher "soothed" our nervous mood before the open class and said, "Don't be nervous. Don't look around in class. Not everyone is sitting under the stage. They all have two noses and one eye! "

9. In English class, the teacher said, "Good morning, teacher" and the students said, "Good morning, student" ... _

10. When I was young, popsicles and ice cream were usually sold on bicycles. Once, I heard an aunt shouting in the house: New ice cream is selling well. (It is estimated that Auntie used to sell fried dough sticks. )

1 1. One of my classmates called another friend and the other's grandfather answered. This classmate doesn't know what he is thinking. He just said, "Grandpa, I'm grandma ..." Suddenly he felt something was wrong and hung up with a bang. ...

12. When I was a child, my sister and I played at home. She pretended to be a chivalrous woman, pricked up her ears and listened to what was going on outside, and then said to me warily, "Hello? No, big head! "

13. Colleagues in the unit read the newspaper and said that Liu Xiaoqing had a child named Yun Yun before she got married. We hurried to look for the newspaper, but it was gone. She came over and showed us. At first glance, it is "Liu Xiaoqing once said very modern remarks, such as being single all his life, but he can have children without getting married."

14, in the advanced math class, the teacher wrote on the blackboard, and the bottom was in a mess. The teacher couldn't bear it: "Students, keep your voice down!" A buddy said, "Teacher, you will get used to it!" " "The teacher fainted!

15, all high school students must wear school uniforms. Students who repeat classes never wear them. Teachers in this field squat at the door every day to check. One day, the teacher saw that the student was not wearing a school uniform and asked him why he was not wearing it. This classmate was furious and said, my mother is not dead. Why did the teacher wear mourning clothes and sweat to death?

16, this may not be a slap in the face: the teacher dragged the hall: "Finally, I have to say one thing ..." A strong boy loudly said: "Twisted melon is not sweet!" There was silence ... "The teacher's face was livid ... class was over."

17 Our teacher once said in class: "The boss is the boss with a long face, and his wife is the old woman and mother. My wife will always be with you ... "My deskmate asked the teacher loudly," Teacher, did that teacher just get his ass wet? " Then the teacher ran away! !

18, junior middle school class likes several boys and a butterfly (it's boring to think about it now). As a result, a classmate was so excited that the math teacher called him several times when the bell rang. Five minutes after class, the classmate ran to the door and called for a report. The teacher said angrily, "I call the dog and it wags its tail!" " The classmate whispered, "I don't have a tail …" The whole class burst into laughter, and even the teacher couldn't help it …

19, a buddy of mine asked the teacher in the advanced math class, "Calculus is a very useful subject. What is the goal of our study of calculus? " My buddy: "No cavities!"

20. In Chinese class, the teacher said, "In fact, weasels don't eat chickens, which is what scientists have learned through experiments. I once locked a chicken and a weasel together. Guess what happened the next day? " The classmate replied, "The chicken is pregnant."

2 1, junior high school physics class talked about the use of neon tubes. A fat man in our class sat in the last row and stood up and asked, "What should I do if the milk in the neon tube comes out?" The whole class was silent until the class was over. As soon as the class started the next day, the teacher began to get angry with the classmate yesterday, so the whole class knew the teacher's reaction speed.

22. The PE teacher shouted in class: "Turn right, don't look around, and sweep the students next to you with the sidelight of the corner of your eye." Someone whispered below, "Only his bladder grows in the corner of his eye."

23, senior three, geometry teacher, a bt old lady, loves to brag and hates it. One day in class: "I am highly valued by the Municipal Education Bureau. They always invite me to study the problem together, and I always pick up the car to send it" (note: this old southerner deliberately pauses here to emphasize the tone). I said, "Three rounds?" Results: I was banned from geometry class from now on.

24, junior high school leaders had a meeting, and the students below were unconscious and threw paper towels all over the floor (the temperature was almost 50 degrees that day. After the meeting, a leader went on to say: students, today there are sanitary napkins all over the floor, and the unclean floor is deformed. All the boys stayed to clean up. Female students are in distress situation. ...

25. In a photography class, a classmate photographed two children playing around the fountain. The teacher asked, "What is this picture?" A sentence came from below: "Yuanyang plays in the water." Everyone laughed wildly ~ ~ ~

26. In music class, the teacher plays the music solitaire, that is, the previous classmate drinks the "pull" of one sound, and the next classmate must repeat the "pull" of the previous classmate before singing the "pull" of another sound. A boy is bored. He added a word after everyone's "La" sound, such as "La Feng", "Lamian Noodles" and "Shit". After he sang "La" in a very beautiful tone, the music teacher smiled and said to him, "Let's see what you can play."

27. In Chinese class, teacher: "Does the above sentence show that he is a very arrogant, steep and upright classmate?" ! The boy absolutely replied loudly: "Yes! ! ！” A girl suddenly said, "Is it safe to get on the bus? ! "The people in this class laugh wildly!

28. I think our high school math teacher is the most classic. A girl in my class sat in the back row, listening to the walkman, and when her ears were blocked, she spoke loudly. She said to her deskmate, let me know when the teacher comes. Almost all the students heard it. Teachers are no exception. Look at my classmates and say, I'm not going. Reference: //www.shahaha.com