A clever joke

Liu Bei went to invite Mr. Kong Ming. When I met a Taoist boy, the Taoist boy said, Mr. Liu, please go back. My master went to pick up girls.

When Liu Bei went back, he met Zhang Fei for the second time and complained, "Brother, this guy is so ungrateful. Can such a person conquer the world? "

Liu Bei scolded Zhang Fei and said, "Third brother, it makes sense for Mr. Zhuge to pick up girls."

So on the second visit, before Liu Bei could speak, the Taoist boy said, "Mr. Liu, go home." Mr. Zhuge hasn't come back to pick up girls yet. "

Zhang Fei was furious: "Who is my big brother, this bird man?" Brother, you're here. When I catch this bird. If I don't give him some color, he won't know what art is? "

Guan Yu said, "That's right, big brother, how can such a lecherous person achieve great things?" Look at me and kill him with a knife. Our three brothers will continue to fight the world. Without him, I still don't believe that the world will stop fighting. "

Liu Bei said, "Second and third brothers, Mr. Zhuge has his own reasons for not coming home for several nights. Can my three brothers guess this profound wisdom? Don't talk nonsense, don't talk nonsense. "

So the three of them had to go down the mountain.

The third time, Liu Bei visited again and suddenly met Zhuge Liang. Zhuge Liang has a MM in his hand. Zhang Fei's face was red and his eyes were cold. Liu Bei said, "Mr. Kong Ming must be next to Liu Bei, so I won't bother you to pick up girls?"

Zhuge Liang said, "Don't bother, don't bother. This girl has good skin. Do you want to try? "

Liu Bei said: "I have a bad wife at home and I can't bear to give up." My husband plays by himself. "

Zhang Fei couldn't bear it any longer, pointing to Zhuge Liang and scolding him: "Don't think that you have a clever plan with a broken fan. Tell me, what is the relationship between picking up girls and farmland? " Zhuge Liang said with a smile, "It is said that great events in the world will be combined for a long time, and they will be combined for a long time. Isn't this also a long-term separation? " Alas, it's not enough for a black fellow to have a vertical axis and a vertical axis. "

Zhang Fei has the final say by snapping his fingers. He nodded and said, "That seems right."

Guan Yu refused to accept: "You talk nonsense. Why should we trust you? Do you have any work experience? "

Zhuge Liang said, "You must be the bearded Guan Yu. I tell you, Zhuge Liang never led a soldier before he came out of the mountain. Why should I have work experience? "

Guan Yu also frowned and wanted to think. Zhuge Liang and Liu Bei continued to talk: "This is a girl. First, you should be patient and persistent; The second is to win people's hearts and give more benefits; Third, be confident, I am a mouth cow B; Fourth, eat what is in the pot and look at what is in the bowl. "

Liu Bei was very disapproving and asked, "Sir, what does this have to do with farmland?"

Zhuge Liang took a sip of mineral water and said, "It is also true to farmland. First, if you don't have patience, you will be scared and retreat from several small battles. Can you do it? " Second, to win the hearts of the people, winning the hearts of the people is the same as winning the hearts of women; Third, self-confidence is also important. If you don't believe in yourself, which general can believe in you; Fourth, you should have the ambition to conquer the world. Don't you just eat in a bowl and watch in a pot? "

Liu Bei accused Zhang Fei: "Look, look, you are a lout, just say that your husband has his own reasons for picking up girls, but you just don't believe it." What now? "

Zhang Fei bowed his head in shame.